Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

Even though the OP hasn’t entirely captured the concept, I believe what the OP meant to say was that unlike in statutory marriages (that is done in the registry or licensed place of worship in accordance with English custom) where romantic/sexual relationship between any of the parties and a 3rd party could give rise to a relief in court and a ground for dissolution, same does not apply to marriages under our custom. More specifically, in many customs in Africa, the existence of a romantic relationship between an already married man and a 3rd party (woman) does not necessarily affect the foundation of the marriage or give rise to an actionable relief in law. The man can even go ahead to marry or ratify his position with the other woman. In Africa, a woman leaving a man on the ground of infidelity is more like leaving him for lack of money. It’s rational to leave, but it’s not codified anywhere as a known ground.

tctrills:
Google is your friend. research on African cultures where children claim maternal rights. After your research, let's discuss.

What search criteria should I specify in Google in order to find this specific case you refer me to?,

tctrills:
That's why I
told you to carry out your research first. Not all traditions and cultures are the same in Africa. I annoys me when whites think we African have 1 set culture but when a fellow African thinks that way, It's far worse.

Nigeria or Africa? We are here discussing Nigeria, more specifically traditional marriage laws in SE and SW.

Really

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

Sometimes I am marveled at the way you LADIES of nowadays have decided to order men around with useless and baseless theories.

There are only 2 beings that can stop a man from marrying as many as he wishes.
The First is FATE (GOD)
The Second is the MAN himself.
Every other person is secondary.
Even his siblings nor parents can't stop him when the time comes.
Better wake up, else you will be sent packing.
LADIES who failed to get proper home training wll be redeployed to their parents houses.
These NEW GENERATION LADIES keep fooling themselves. As long as a man walks into your family house seeking to transfer you to his, he can equally return you back.
In DIVORCE a man never leaves his FATHER'S house nor village. Better wake up.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

What difference does it make. If you do all the legal marriages and your hubby cheats on you you are no different from the woman who only did native marriage and was cheated on. Legal marriage does not stop cheating. Legal marriage does not punish cheating spouses, the highest punitive measure is a divorce which makes the outcomes of couples in a legal marriage no different from those in a native marriage...as I type, someone's legal husband is pumping someone else's legal wife all in the guise of business meeting...native marriages save the stress of spending stupidly and it's only drawback is that it is not recognised by the law of the land and when that land is Nigeria, you can dump the law inside dustbin because Nigerian criminal-justice system is trash!

Kobojunkie:
So what you are attempting to say here is that traditional laws encourage adultery and is of no benefit to women?

What about the other way around? Couldn't it also be said that women who marry under native law are free to seek adventure outside of their marriage in the same light? Or are women slaves to their men under these laws you refer to?

Do you live in a cave?

Bobmarie:
Do you live in a cave?

Why do you ask?

Kobojunkie:
Nigeria or Africa? We are here discussing Nigeria, more specifically traditional marriage laws in SE and SW.

You never indicated that in your post. SE and SW mean basically, you are talking about Igbo and Yoruba?

tctrills:
You never indicated that in your post. SE and SW mean basically, you are talking about Igbo and Yoruba?

I more than indicated that several times throughout this discourse. Well, the igbo and Yoruba are the dominant ethnic groups in those regions but not the only. Since traditional laws are the focus, religious laws are of course of no value to this discussion.

Kobojunkie:
Even in the context of family, women shouldn't be reliant on men at all. Over and over you have seen how irresponsible the men folk can be so whose to blame for a woman, in the year, 2021, making the same stupid assumption that women made of men back many decades ago?

Why aren't women making more mature choices and decisions where men continue to fail? Why? No be be the same size brain men get wey women get?

Responsibility is different from dependency.

The fact that a man is responsible does not mean all financial contribution will rest on him.

Responsibility starts with vision, planning and directing, before even talking about funding.

It's ok if you can't grasp my explanations, like I said, you're immature, just like the greater percentage of the population.

I believe that just because a lot of men are failing does not mean all men are failing, there a lots of men who understand the assignment, God bless them.

My motivation for this response is that someone will read this and know better what it means to be a man.

MALIGNANTGuest:

Sometimes I am marveled at the way you LADIES of nowadays have decided to order men around with useless and baseless theories.

There are only 2 beings that can stop a man from marrying as many as he wishes.
The First is FATE (GOD)
The Second is the MAN himself.
Every other person is secondary.
Even his siblings nor parents can't stop him when the time comes.
Better wake up, else you will be sent packing.
LADIES who failed to get proper home training wll be redeployed to their parents houses.
These NEW GENERATION LADIES keep fooling themselves. As long as a man walks into your family house seeking to transfer you to his, he can equally return you back.
In DIVORCE a man never leaves his FATHER'S house nor village. Better wake up.

Only in Nigeria and other 3rd world countries can you people be doing "return you back" up and down.
Return an adult back ?
Wow!!

Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing.

Saintmary:
1. Responsibility is different from dependency. The fact that a man is responsible does not mean all financial contribution will rest on him. Responsibility starts with vision, planning and directing, before even talking about funding.

It's ok if you can't grasp my explanations, like I said, you're immature, just like the greater percentage of the population.

I believe that just because a lot of men are failing does not mean all men are failing, there a lots of men who understand the assignment, God bless them.

My motivation for this response is that someone will read this and know better what it means to be a man.

Again, why do you keep shifting responsibility on men who have proven they are not all-capable?

Why are women not taking on, for themselves, more of the planning and directing where the men have failed in the past?

Why aren't women making more mature choices and decisions where men continue to fail? Why? No be be the same size brain men get wey women get?

Cousin9999:
Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing.

If a man keeps a concubine on the side - spending regularly on her - is it that farfetched to claim he has more than one wife?

Kobojunkie:
If a man keeps a concubine on the side - spending regularly on her - is it that farfetched to claim he has more than one wife?

Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing.

Cousin9999:
Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing.

So a man who has concubines - even has children by his concubines- is not in a polygamous relationship because he has not exchanged brideprice for each of those women?

Some people can argue based on sentiments. In most cultures, traditional marriage doesn't protect wives.
Statutory marriage is best especially in intercultural marriage. Next of kin or head of family has power over properties of the husband when he dies. In. Statutory marriage, the marriage certificate protects wife and her children. It is only will that overides marriage certificate.

Cousin9999:


Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing.

Traditions recognize concubines

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

First off, even unmarried persons in relationships talk of cheating. It is not a clause restricted to legal marriages.

Even in registry marriages, cheating still happens. Marriage under the act has not been shown to reduce cheating. In fact, the huge divorce rate (over 50%) in places like the US, of which majority of the divorces result from infidelity, is a testament to the fact that civil marriages do not deter cheating.

Secondly, even if civil marriages were to allow men take more wives, most men today would not exercise that right. Heck, they do not even want more children. They would rather still prefer the casual side chic.

Thirdly, while feminist movements are railing against polygamy, a new trend is taking its place - the baby mama culture. Because frankly, why would a man choose polygamy, or monogamy for that matter, when he can knock off different ladies, while retaining his freedom to be with any lady he so chooses?

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

You are very wrong. The Church and court weddings you're talking about were borrowed from the Europeans. Europeans have only one wedding ceremony which is either the Church or courts. The traditional wedding in Africa is the main wedding ceremony. If not, at which of these wedding ceremonies do they pay the bride’s price?
About infidelity, different cultures approach that in different ways. Stop degrading our traditional institutions. Whoever agrees with you shouldn't subject themselves to traditional weddings rites and should just run to the church or court with their partner.

You can advocate that our traditional institutions be strengthened to include womens’ rights.

maureensylvia:


As a woman, if you want to marry, make sure you don’t do only traditional marriage, be sure you do statutory marriage either in an approved church or in court, [bold]so that your rights in that marriage will be protected.[/bold]

Sounds like there’s no trust here ooo

Most people that do only traditional marriage do it because of lack of funds. If you speak like this, be sure to finance the other marriage forms 100% if the guy says his money has finished after traditional marriage

armyofone:


Only in Nigeria and other 3rd world countries can you people be doing "return you back" up and down.
Return an adult back ?
Wow!!

Do they keep receipts to return them?

And some people on this forum argue that women are not marginalized in Nigeria. They have been used to very low standards for too long, I guess.

Mordecai:



First off, even unmarried persons in relationships talk of cheating. It is not a clause restricted to legal marriages.

Even in registry marriages, cheating still happens. Marriage under the act has not been shown to reduce cheating. In fact, the huge divorce rate (over 50%) in places like the US, of which majority of the divorces result from infidelity, is a testament to the fact that civil marriages do not deter cheating.

Cheating is one thing. Marrying more than one wife is another. The latter can be legally prevented.

Secondly, even if civil marriages were to allow men take more wives, most men today would not exercise that right. Heck, they do not even want more children. They would rather still prefer the casual side chic.

Thirdly, while feminist movements are railing against polygamy, a new trend is taking its place - the baby mama culture. Because frankly, why would a man choose polygamy, or monogamy for that matter, when he can knock off different ladies, while retaining his freedom to be with any lady he so chooses?

You tell us because I see men getting married every week, in Nigeria and abroad.

Kobojunkie:
So a man who has concubines - even has children by his concubines- is not in a polygamous relationship because he has not exchanged brideprice for each of those women?

Polygamy = marriage, commitment, 1 household, co-wives

Babymamas ≠ wives

TheGreatOne90:
Enter court marriage with nigerian woman, at your own risk. Na your property and money she dey target so

You prefer the other marriage so that you can continue to do anyhow abi?

Any man who run away from having legal marriage does have a cockroach in their cupboard

Most marriages, these days, wey be say na war fronts nor be monogamy?
Make una dey hail monogamy, una eyes go soon clear, as many youths dey dey sceptical about marriage matter because of chaos and fight matter mostly for monogamy.
Me!
I dey gidigba with my two wives.
I go add one join with time.
Make una call am whatever nomenclature...we nor send.
Men!
Nor die follow one woman despite you dey successful.
As you wan help any girl,let her know say in advance say,you go marry join her .
If she nor happy,let her go.
Try arrange,wives nai better pass wife.

InvertedHammer:

/
Too many brainwashed zombies breathing our air.

So church and court wedding have curbed infidelity?

Marriage in all forms abhors infidelity. Some traditionalists try to make it official by embracing polygamy while some hypocritical Christians like you prefer sidechics and concubines. Lest I forget, the Oyibo that preach against polygamy are still practicing it legally in Utah. Go figure!

You are replacing morality with paper certificates.

/

You are not getting the Op

Yes no marriage whatsoever stops infidelity. However, the woman has more right to put the man to check in court marriage than the traditional marriage

Since it is legally prohibited to sleep around or marry another woman/man. If found wanting such person bear the brunt

DEMZEE:


ANY MAN WEY DEY DO COURT MARRIAGE NA MUMU

Any woman who chose to marry you without a court marriage na fool

Just know you married a fool and not a wife

Polygamy is not adultery!