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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Depressed101: 8:30am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
your husband is giving himself an unnecessary wahala, everyone is not built the same, what about me that don't call my cousins but I love them die, they all understand the kind of person I am, because the attention I don't give them are given by my extrovert sisters and extended family, but when we meet physical we relate well, life is simple o, meanings shouldn't be read into all things in life especially in cases like yours where it seems your relationship is perfect, ah that is a small issue that can be sorted out o, i wish your guy can be reading this to see there's nothing wrong in your relationship with his siblings you are just not an outgoing person, as your personal person he is supposed to know that, or doesn't he know you are an introvert? 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Kilotat: 8:30am On Nov 16, 2021 |
He is a Wise Man! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by emmanuelbrown26: 8:31am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Davash222:
You expected him to choose a GIRLFRIEND over his family? Girlfriend he might be sharing with Dem Boys Don't mind the niggar jare, family any day anytime. which nonsense girl friend 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by VETSURGEON123(m): 8:33am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Wahala be like bicycle. Me I be extovert if I shack alcohol , I be introvert if my head dey empty..so I dey switch anytime based on chemistry. You can try some thing a little tipsy when getting close to his family,, infact Dem go change your name to talkative. |
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by 8stargeneral: 8:35am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Chrisx1x: You can only try and improve on your personality but you can't change who you really are. I know this because I am also an introvert. Its not easily flowing with people you aren't that familiar with.
He should try and understand you, try and talk to him, let him see you for who you are. If he can't defend you now before his family members, I don't know when he is going to do that. And right now, it seems he decided to chose family over you. thought they say family first..so,u don't want her to relate with his family..there's time for her to build that relationship with his siblings..if not there would be a problem...in a peaceful family ur husband siblings is also ur husband |
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Bimffo(m): 8:37am On Nov 16, 2021 |
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by pickatyoubackup: 8:37am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Sonnobax15: ![lipsrsealed](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/lipsrsealed.png) Mennnnnnnn, it's well like seriously......
Personally cha,such things dey look funny to me.... Because how can someone say he love you and the same time try to compare the love he has for you with the relationship you've with his family? . E be like say that your boo na the type of nigha wey go sabi listen to him family well well ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
Not that I'm saying it's wrong to have a relationship with your bf's family,but such things can easily be worked out,with time...No be wetin person dey rush....So long say una dey flow well,no probs.....
My immediate elder bro gf just be like you....But guess what, whenever she's around,me and my immediate younger bro dey always dey ginger her to be lively and free with us.......you no kill person,na introvert you be ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Na mumu advice be this. It ur opinion but still foolish. You don't have relationship with a family y r stepping into, if things go south, how u wan take handle am. Things can't be rosy all the time. And family is always there for a reason. |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Mvena(f): 8:37am On Nov 16, 2021 |
So…..
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by house10s: 8:39am On Nov 16, 2021 |
so many vert.
menovert unovert lifenovert bubuvert |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Bigpapi: 8:39am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
So he should forget about his siblings because of a stranger like u abi?
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by BarrElChapo(m): 8:39am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1:
Seriously it baffles me how he's forgetting other good qualities i have cos of this issue. This same people I'm not yet closed I've sent gifts and cash on birthdays. I don't know how to pretend, i know some girls will pretend in situations like this and go back to their old ways once married. I'm my heart of heart your boyfriend doesn't really know you. It's funny people's comments have being saying he is supposed to choose his family over you but that doesn't relate here cos it's not a competition. These family members who are complaining what efforts have they made to get close to you ? A few chats doesn't automatically make us buddies speaking for myself and I can relate with you cos I abhor chatting I can decide not to do WhatsApp for one month and I won't lose sleep at all so I can relate. If he still has parent(s) you could try to up your communication with them, bi-weekly calls and airtime from time to time just to let them know you're thinking about them. As for his siblings you could try if you like but they're being dramatic including your boyfriend. Goodluck 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by dahmie2013: 8:39am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Are you sure he is not looking for an excuse to end the relationship. You cannot relate with them the way he will do. He is closer to them than yourself. In your shoes, I will do same. For crying out loud, you travelled to attend one of his siblings wedding, that is very good. What more does he want. 4 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by vickydevoka(m): 8:40am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Missmossy: It already looks like he won’t support you when there is an issue of any sort when you guys get married. He wants you to be become an extrovert in one day just to make his family happy doesn’t make sense one bit!!!
With all you have said, you have done well and enough at the junction you both are. His attitude is a red flag sadly, but then do what makes you happy too, if working intensely to do what he wants would then so be it. It goes both ways aunty. Marriage no be childs play. Haven't you see ladies saying de won't marry a man who isn't close to her family. So stop being lopsided, n try find lasting solution to her problem. She should work on herself period. Being an introvert doesn't make one a mumu. Do ur basics on societal ethics simple |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by emmanuelbrown26: 8:41am On Nov 16, 2021 |
bigpicture001:
Babe I can say from my inner most experience: he is not seeing anyone else, but is drunk of entitlement... Such happens wen someone becms too sure for u.. just watch him.. if he continues unabated.. giv him space..
If it still doesn't work, den still be there but change language like start to talk about a guy disturbing for marriage... Make it real. If he sees competition, he will sit up..
People don't value things without fighting for it MIND U, U ARE NOT TALKING TO A GIRL OF 20YEARS HERE. This is a lady in her late 30s |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by NoToPile: 8:41am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1:
Really wish he can see this. They're making it look like all brides to be are usually close to their in laws before marriage. When one saw me during the wedding, she jokingly said see our wife that we'll soon sack. Didn't know they've been saying this. There's a 80percent chance you will have serious issues with this family if you marry them and your fiance won't be one to defend you. Relationships with in-laws are meant to be polite and cordial simple. Any bestie relationships with inlaws especially the siblings in law most times end with premium tears. There's a family event to attend attend it, do your duties as a wife, respect every one, if they come visit treat them nicely. Any unnecesary closeness 90percent of the time ends in tears. I honestly don't see what you have done wrong, you even call on the birthdays and give gifts even when you are not yet a wife, you even try He wants you to be gist buddies with his siblings or what? 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Penguin2: 8:41am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
Just that I personally, and over 99 percent of men, will not put a ring on your finger if you can’t relate with my siblings. I will never. If I were him I would dump your ass straight away because you going back to say you have accepted his siblings will only amount to pretense just for the marriage to happen then you go back to hating his siblings. People like you cause your husbands to be detached from their families after marriage. Change your ways! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by emmanuelbrown26: 8:41am On Nov 16, 2021 |
mosdii: Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them my niggar is back again and again 1 Like |
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Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by Balmhealth: 8:42am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Emotional intelligence and diplomacy is important. Have a conversation and sort things out. www.balm.ai |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by marsup: 8:42am On Nov 16, 2021 |
I don't relate with my partner's family, not because I hate them, but because there's nothing important to talk about. I can't force myself to be friends with you. Whenever we meet, we greet each other and that's it. I'm a very private person.
Don't force yourself to do what will make you uncomfortable. Relate with your in laws to the extent you can, and if your fiancée feels your relationship with his family is more important than your relationship with him, let him marry one of his sisters.
Good luck to you. 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by alizma: 8:43am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
That is not a big problem, the way to hold back at times is to let go, do I make a point? Ok let me explain, call him for a talk again, this time let him know that you sincerely love his family, also let him know that his house will be free to his siblings if you eventually get married, then explain to him that being an introvert doesn't mean being wicked and finally let him know that closeness with the family will eventually enhance your relationship with his siblings. On your own part, you need to work on yourself to improve your relationship not just with his siblings (that is if you get a chance remain in the relationship) but also with people around you. I used to be a chronic introvert as well but now I am better. First thing is identify yourself, secondly is to improve on areas you need on to effective leave among others because no individual is an island. |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by blaise26abj(m): 8:43am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
Your guy is not flexible or considerate . He can’t understand what it means to be an introvert so he is looking at the situation from an extrovert’s mind . He better thank God for you because I can guarantee you that it is one of your quality that attracted him in the first place . Now that said , you are who you are and yet you are making efforts out of your comfort-zone to get closer to his family . It isn’t a day’s journey to get close to someone so he should cut you some slack. Besides you are not married yet . The question is will they force their brother to marry you if he isn’t interested again because of how close you are with them ? Please don’t stress . if he wants to break up or acts up because his family feels you are not close to them then he might not be meant for you. Know this and know peace . PS Now let me ask what the hell is wrong with some sisters ? Guy siblings are generally not bothered about this sort of things . You ladies don’t have to be besties or close friends with your brother’s wives . As long as he is happy, mind your gaddem business. Haba ! 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by frozen70(f): 8:43am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
It's obvious you do t just like relating with people and you don't see why you have to, but let me put somethings right to you As a matter of fact, that you and your guy loves yourselves is not enough reason to carry on, family or no family As it is now, your guy could get another lady that is head over heals I've his family and the family may advise him to drop you that you don't relate the wah this babe does. No matter your bond, he will follow his family, do you know why ? Non of his family members can fight for you because you don't relate with them so they don't connect with you If for example you have issues with your guy in this marriage, they will never stand with you because you didn't come close to them for them to understand you Lastly they have concluded that you are not friendly and it's possible you will teach your children same way and those children may grow up not relating with their cousin's simply because you don't interact with their parents Make sure your read the above post again and again and use it to guide yourself Family is everything and no sensible one jokes their's 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by SenatePresdo(m): 8:44am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Havilaah1: Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.
I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.
Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.
The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).
This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event. Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.
I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions. How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.
God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.
I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation. Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view. Roctation farano Please help move to front page for wider view.
I believe he understands your kind of person, knowing that you are an introvert. Explain to him the way you explained to us, if he doesn't get to understand your nature, then there is no point in being with someone with doesn't understand you. Experts always emphasis on understanding, and that's what's happening here. He may understand you, but it doesn't seem like he does. Call or chat his siblings and tell them what their brother said, make their siblings understand the kind of person you are. Tell them That you are admit that you are not the very social type, but that doesn't change the way you feel towards them . They are girls, they will understand you. For the fact that you reached to them concerning this issue will even make them know you respect and value their role in their brother's life. They will talk to him I believe, and their approval is what your boyfriend needs. If you can win his siblings, you have won him. If after doing this and nothing changes, just pipe low for the main time. If he's yours, he would come around. This is a guy you have dated for more than a year. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by goldt456(m): 8:44am On Nov 16, 2021 |
My sister , concentrate on your relationship man and talk some to your boo. I got the same issue before I got Wed, my wife is not the talking type, in fact she got a single friend, on our wedding day, only her church member and my sisters usher her inside the introduction venue,, no friends, but I just like her lifestyle like that , I got thesame issue with my sister's till date but they've understand her more than me . I'm her only best friend and we are doin good . Free your mind , get along with them at your best and let your boo do the rest, I pray he's mature to do that , I only read here and don't comment but i just decided to give you this advice with my original Chelsea right beside me . Don't mind my typo . 4 Likes |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by lucky4west: 8:44am On Nov 16, 2021 |
well this is deep...firstly there is nothing wrong with your personality....though the ambiverts and extroverts are easily seen as the ideal personality, because you can easily read them and also gauge their mind set, but an introvert maybe seen as a wicked or bad person because you cannot read their minds or actions....secondly if you are really interested in the relationship(nothing good comes easy) you have to come out from you shell and make it work( no marriage in Africa is for the man and woman alone: family members are important in the life of a couple)....your man seems to have a lot of sisters and u know women the way the dictate for their brothers( especially if he is the only brother or if they are just 2 guys in the midst of girls!...also if ur man is not the elder among them...hmmmm they will have a huge influence on his life and decisions)....do not antagonize his sisters, try and relate with them frequently...when u have established a flowing relationship with them u can once in a while go into ur introvert mode, afterall who introvert epp? these days every one is encouraged to speak out and be heard....do not lose a good relationship for nothing because u can actually fix this.... 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancé Wants To Call It A Quit Because I Don't Relate With His Siblings by RightToReject(m): 8:44am On Nov 16, 2021 |
Stop beating yourself because of a man who has failed to relate with you based on your anima and disposition, the main things that matter, but instead has chosen to relate with you based on your demeanor and persona. 8 Likes |