I traveled to a rural area and one lady told me a story that surprised me, two stories actually. She said that her younger brother is living with a lady that he didn't marry properly. Down the line, he was pressured to do the marriage rites and he went half-way without completing everything. According to her, what was left was something that should have been done for the male kinsmen of the lady. He had settled the villagers, youths and women but not the men. The lady he was living with got pregnant and was delivered of a baby boy, but the boy died. She got pregnant again and had a baby girl that survived. The third baby was a girl and she lived. The fourth, a boy died. Then this lady that told me the story said that the lady got pregnant again and she started wondering why the boys were dying, so she called her brother, the man co-habiting with the lady and asked him what he hadn't done as per marriage rites and discovered that it had something to do with settling the male kinsmen. She advised him to do that before the "wife" puts to bed again and he did. The wife was delivered a baby boy that lived. That lady's father was late and she said that his spirit was angry that his daughter did not settle his kinsmen.

She told me a second story of a lady that moved in with a man because the family insisted that everything must be done before she started living with the man who obviously couldn't afford it. She got pregnant, was delivered of a child, but the child died. In a dream, the sister-in-law saw the lady's late mother who told her that since her daughter is stubborn that she won't bear a living child. The daughter came home crying and said that they should beg their mother. This family went to the grave of the dead woman and asked her to be patient with the daughter, that the man she is living with will initiate marriage rites and conclude same. The lady was already pregnant again when this happened. She put to bed and the child is alive.

Didn't know something like that is possible.

The gods are not to be blamed

what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander

Cock and bull story.

Just ask people to respect themselves, that's all.

Crappy stories.... Fables

Anyone that keeps a woman at home without fulfilling the marriage rite, should blame himself

If the woman dies, the man will do traditional marriage with the corpse..

Horrible experience!

70% of marriages in Nigeria are mere boyfriend and girlfriend cohabitation. No proper marriage rites and they are just producing babies.

May God help us. No more respect for the laws and traditions of our lands.

Our first in-law ( married to our first daughter) told me something over the phone last week when he called and was asking, "chi baby what's up now,? when are boys coming to drink na, bla bla bla.. I was just laughing. So he said, I should not try moving in with any man without proper marriage rites o. That he still remembers what my dad told him 16 years ago when he came to marry my sister.

You know because our parents were both based in Lagos, he now thought its a Lagos thing.
He spent money and did the marriage ceremony in Lagos. My dad called a few kins men who lived in Lagos then to attend and witness all.

While the feasting was going on. He said my dad called him aside and told him oh boy, forget all these ones you're doing in Lagos o. You're still going to do the main thing in the villa. As long as my dad's elder brother was still alive, my dad has no right to give out his daughter. The elder brother is the one to do that.

He said he just told my dad yes Sir.

Few months after, everybody travelled down to the villa. That was where my sister was officially handed to him as wife. So he told me to be careful. That my dad respected and regarded our tradition o. And it's true.

So, when I see people cohabiting without being properly married, I view then people who lack proper home training.