Is it cruel to break up with someone because he's unable to manage his finances properly? E.g. He's broke 65% of the time, when he does have money he splashes out on unnecessary things and the very next day (& beyond), he's completely broke with no food or transport money, etc., and doesn't even honour agreements between ourselves (therefore unreliable). I've known him for 6 months.
I can't even trust him when he tries to explain his position because I've caught him in many small, stupid lies, and some of the stories that he tells sound far-fetched too & open to verification (I don't confront him about all these mainly to keep the peace and keep on the look-out if the stories will be proved true, or if I'll catch him in more lies). And now he's acting like I dumped him 'ALL because of money!?' Making me sound like some kind of gold-digger, For the record, I earn my own living. Yes I get broke too, but I managed, I've managed before him and I know what I do with my money, I can account for every penny. In fact, he's told me that the money that I make in a month, he makes in a week (no documentary proof OR visible proof judging by his lifestyle).
My take is, if a person wants a future with anyone, they should at least be able to manage their lives responsibly, otherwise I feel like I'm gambling with the financial security that I can afford myself and running the risk of being dragged down by his obvious (which he denies) lack of financial responsibility. He desperately wants to get married and settle down with me. But the more I look at the situation, the more it feels like he's desperate only because marriage would benefit him more than it would me? I'd be his rescue plan. Am I being selfish?

DOn't mind him He is A mere man , pls run for your life, nt safe for you to get married to someone that spends any hw i guess he is a yahoo boy , Cos only them would say they make thousands in a week , and get broke the next week , get backkk Would be waiting.

Nice idea on your part dumping him and moving on.

Op
Tell him
No money,
No punny

If he is willing you can help him out and if u dnt no one will.take heart dnt dump him for that silly xcuse.

tell him how u feel and see how u can fix this together.


best of luck

Dump his ass ASAP n run 4 ur dear life, i knw his type they dnt change.

lexodus:

If he is willing you can help him out and if u dnt no one will.take heart dnt dump him for that silly xcuse.

Mz_Outside:

tell him how u feel and see how u can fix this together.


best of luck

I hear you both, But this is a man who's turning 40 in a few years, if he hasn't learnt to manage his money/life all these years, what chances do I have really of getting through to him AND I don't have the energy or will to 'mother' another person. For me, financial mismanagement PLUS lying is a toxic combination, I'm not prepared to spend my days managing him. Not to mention that I'd have to start with making him understand the value of truth - If he lies about anything (my subjective view), what wouldn't he lie about?, & if I can't trust him, there's no point to a relationship, let alone a life-long marriage. It's bad enough as it is right now having to consciously decide whether or not to believe whatever he says, it's too much mental work.

lexodus:

If he is willing you can help him out and if u dnt no one will.take heart dnt dump him for that silly xcuse.

Yep. And thats only if he is willing. If thats the only problem with him, then its not that big a problem that cant be solved with time and effort.

I won't advise you to go with such a man you will spend the rest of your life managing him.

@OP judging by what you said, your line of action is the best thing that any sane, ambitious and responsible person would take. Don't even think of staying and praying he changes, such characters do not just go. A leopard doesn't change its spots overnight. It'll take a great deal of seriousness on his part to quit such extravagant and free spending lifestyle.
Leave his sorry a$$ and move on. Don't let him cajole you into marriage. You'd live the rest of your life in regret.

please im leaving his broke ass as fast as a fly does when it sees bigger shiit

please im leaving his broke asss as fast as a fly does when it sees bigger shiit

please runnnnnnnnn for your life.Ha ah! Wat kind of human being is he?At close to 40? im sure its ds same reason girls kip runnin away from him,who wan collabo with NFA.my dear,pple lyk dem dont change