My family is really giving me a tough time, everyone most especially my parents are against my fiance

Me and this guy have been together for 7 years now, we started dating since when we were in school. I am currently working and providing for the family, I feel now is the right time to settle down but it's has been a tug of war in the house since I brought up the issue of marriage and the guy I want to settle down with.

My mum is of the opinion that I'm rushing into marriage and she feels that the guy is not the right person for me.

My aunty on the other hand says that I might suffer in the marriage as she has consulted some prophets. According to her my fiance might depend on my money and not want me to send money to my parents and younger ones which is so absurd because I value them so much.

My dad says he is not my class and that he will never approve the marriage.

My mind is already made up and I'm not getting any younger(26 years) I'm deeply in love with this guy, he has a business he manages and he is doing well for himself. He is God fearing and kind, I don't see myself leaving that relationship but my parents have insisted that they won't give their blessings

You've being with a man for 7years. How comes your family did not notice him all this while?

This is a very dicy case. The two people whose reservation are disturbing are your dad and mum. Your dad saying that he is not your class, how does he mean? Is he talking financially, status wise or something else. The business he is doing, is it not profitable? Something made your father make that statement. Your mum saying she fears you will suffer if you marry him, how does she mean? It looks like you make more money than him on a monthly basis which prompted the statement. How does his family see you, did they accept you willingly (not looking at your financial strength) or do they also have their own reservations?

boxer022:
This is a very dicy case. The two people whose reservation are disturbing are your dad and mum. Your dad saying that he is not your class, how does he mean? Is he talking financially, status wise or something else. The business he is doing, is it not profitable? Something made your father make that statement. Your mum saying she fears you will suffer if you marry him, how does she mean? It looks like you make more money than him on a monthly basis which prompted the statement. How does his family see you, did they accept you willingly (not looking at your financial strength) or do they also have their own reservations?

His business is profitable, he earns above 200k monthly and I earn more than him

My dad is insisting that he is not my class financially

All members of his family has accepted me, the problem lies with my family that have refused to approve the marriage

Medianna:
You've being with a man for 7years. How comes your family did not notice him all this while?

She never introduced him to them at the infancy stage.

Fuckaniza:


She never introduced him to them at the infancy stage.

Forget formal intro
7 years is more than enough for close family members to know what's up. They should even be asking. 'When is he coming to see us'

I see ur family members are selfish. You're providing for the family and they don't want that to reduce or stop since it might reduce if you get married.

They are only after their comfort which I can see you give them.

Tell them it's ur choice to marry the guy. And let them know they won't stop you.

However, bear in mind that every choice has consequences. Be ready for those consequences if any arises.

Additionally, let ur guy know all these issues you are having settling with him and get assurances that he won't do things or misbehave in such a way that ur people will say they told you.

This is the time to work extra hard for ur relationship and marriage so that the naysayers won't glory in their hearts.

I wish you the best.

I wish I can talk to ur boyfriend for him to know you have chosen him over ur family and he shouldn't bleep up.

Addy615:


His business is profitable, he earns above 200k monthly and I earn more than him

My dad is insisting that he is not my class financially

All members of his family has accepted me, the problem lies with my family that have refused to approve the marriage

Thank for the response. He makes above 200k from his business monthly, so let's assume he makes 250k monthly that means he makes million yearly. That's cool money but the way your father is sounding it looks like you make about 5 or 6 million yearly. I believe that your family sees him as a gold digger. What matters most is your happiness but from the look of it your family (sorry to say) is looking at status rather than your happiness. How are they sure that the person they may have in mind wouldn't treat you bad as your mum fears? The reason they are giving for rejecting him is not substantiate enough to do so. I think it's because they were aware that you were offering assistance financially to his family, so therefore they see his family as lower class. I don't want to tell you to disobey your parents but try as much as you can to make them see reason why he is worth you.

We Africans re Just something else I swear
We re terrible
We re subhumans..
U brought a child into this brutal harsh world against his/her will o...
And u still have d guts to wanna live that ur child's life 4 him/her...what nonsense!!!...
Just stick to ur choice nne..it's ur happiness..ur life..ur future..ur everything not theirs...
Also try ask that ur parents..How they would av felt if their own parents had opposed their own marriage during their early days...

My dear, when it comes to marriage, don't ever turn a dead ear on the advice of your family.

An Aunt of mine (my mum's younger sister she's late now) who was a senior staff in the bank got married to her husband years ago while I was still in secondary school.

Everyone in the family was against that marriage, I myself being quite young couldn't see what they were seeing cos the guy in question was so cool, and whenever he visits us he showers me with gifts.


My aunt literally fought everyone in the family (my mum inclusive) over this man until they just gave into her demands and she got married to the man.

After marriage, the man changed, I don't know if it was low self-esteem he was suffering from, but he was complaining about how she comes back so late. She should choose between him and her bank job. And mind you my aunt was earning far higher than him.

To cut the long story short, my aunt resigned from her job, oga started mis behaving, he won't bring out money for the up keep of the house, things got so bad that my aunt delivered her first son in our house.

Her husband literally didn't care about her wellbeing, nothing, we started hearing rumors that he's womanizing, although we couldn't confirm it, with time he went physical on my aunt, started beating her, with time she got sick and eventually died during the birth of her second child. Her husband immediately remarried.

Don't rush into this marriage, try to see things from their view, they might be right, he might be marrying you for your money. So many men look for financially independent women to get married to then get intimidated by her wealth in the course of the marriage.