You've taken the plunge and made the biggest commitment of your life. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce and one of the leading causes is marital infidelity. Whether you're married or a partner in a committed marital relationship, being faithful isn't always easy - but if you commit to being a faithful spouse or partner, you can do it.


Agree upon trusting one another. Once you have taken your vows, always remember don't do anything to break that trust, you have both taken vows to be faithful in every way. Now it's time to believe in one another and trust your partner. Suspicion, and doubt don't cause a spouse to cheat, but if one spouse exhibits high degrees of any of these to their spouse, it spells trouble for the relationship. Set reasonable boundaries and stay within them - this fosters trust and the longer you each stay within the boundaries you have agreed on, the more "trust" you will build as time goes on.

Accept the fact that you are no longer single. No, you may not come and go as you please, no matter how much that may rankle. You have a responsibility to your spouse or partner now and the sooner you accept it, the fewer fights and arguments you'll have. Acting as if you are free and accountable to no one will pretty much ensure that you will be single again - soon. Instead, keep in mind your love for your spouse and the love your spouse has for you, your commitment and your vows. Examples:

If you agree upon something do exactly that. Don't change it.

If it rubs you the wrong way, you must learn to sacrifice some things, remember this helps your spouse to keep the trust he or she may have in you.


Understand that your spouse is not attempting to put you on a leash. It's simply a matter of honoring your commitment. Don't go against your spouse. Your spouse is the only one that really cares. If you didn't want to be cared about or be responsible to someone else, you should not have gotten married.

Don't stir up trouble where there isn't any. Doing things to see how your spouse will react is a bad idea. The problem is that it creates a climate of doubts of your honesty, anxiety and turbulence. Don't pick fights just to see what he/she'll say or do.

Avoid even the appearance of wrong doing. If you meet with someone who tries to come on to you, don't panic, show no interest, tell them you're not interested, you're very happy and content with your spouse and that he/she fills all your needs. Don't get yourself into any situation where even a whiff of lust is near. Don't be alone with this person, and don't go out of your way to see him or her.

Take your spouse with you. If you know you'll be in a situation where you can't avoid this person, take your spouse along. Knowing your partner is watching will keep you in line and hopefully will deter any questionable acts on the part of the other person.

Tell the other person you are not interested period. Don't give a half-hearted "Gee, I'm really attracted to you, but I'm married" response. This sends a wrong message - it says, "If only my stupid spouse weren't in the way, then you and I could hook up." Anyone who knows you're married and persists in coming on to you will not hesitate to run over your spouse if she/he thinks you're at all interested. What matters is that you are married, and your commitment is to your partner or spouse. Put your foot down hard and walk away, leaving no room for doubt or hope. People who try to do this knowing the other person is married are very unhappy people and they don't care to see anyone else happy. Ask yourself this question: "Why don't they have someone in their life?" Probably because they are not good enough to have someone and cannot be faithful since they are trying to connect with you even though they know you are married.

Leave the situation. It doesn't matter whether it's a job or a circle of friends. If you've tried your best to put the stops on this person's interest in you and worse yet, if you return those feelings, you have to leave the situation immediately. Either request a transfer or request that the other person be transferred, because it's endangering your marriage. Don't moan and complain - remember, your goal is that 40th wedding anniversary and beyond. No job, no chick or dude, no amount of ego boosting is worth destroying your chance at that. Remember: a few moments of pleasure are not worth a lifetime of happiness with that someone special.

Tips

Wear your wedding ring at all times. You should never take it off, no matter what, even if your friends tells you to, or on your job they tell you to. They can't force you to do it if you tell them it's against your religion. This sends a clear signal to others and reminds you that you are "taken" and most people will know better than to trespass.

But if they fail to heed the sign, show it to them and be sure they know it means you really are married and are not interested in flirting at all. If they should pursue you anyway that tells you they're not good to be around and all they are looking for is to break up your marriage or cause trouble for you and they probably won't stay with you after anyway.

You may both meet people who are attractive to you and that tempt you no matter how much you love your spouse. Don't fool yourself. Before you know it, you'll be heading for divorce court. You have an obligation to remove yourself from those situations. Remember your vows.

If others around you talk to you about other women/men, tell them that you are really not interested in that, because you are very happy with your spouse and he/she fulfills all your needs. This will send them a message and they will not try to influence you into making the wrong choice which could lead to your divorce. Remember: you do not want to be around this kind of people. They are probably cheaters - they can't commit and hate people that can.

Don't put doubt in your spouse's mind. That leads to insecure feelings and means trouble for you marriage. Remember: your actions tell everything. Don't forget that your spouse sees and notices if you stare at other women/men.

Don't get angry if you realize that someone else finds your spouse attractive. Take pleasure in the fact that she/he's coming home with you - not her/or him.

Remember that your behaviour earlier on will set the tone for the rest of your relationship. If you set a tone of faith, trust, and belief in one another and give each other a real sense that your relationship is solid and unshakable, it will be a great comfort to you and help you through difficult times.

If you prove yourself worthy of his/her trust today, in ten years if someone accuses you of something, he/she will dismiss it, knowing that you would never betray him/her because of your history together.

On the other hand, if you do the wrong thing, or have done something that you should not have done, you can't expect your spouse to trust you totally. You have put doubt in his/her mind, and that has made him/her insecure. The only way to correct that is to do everything in your power (through real actions) to show him/her that they can trust you.

If you have ever cheated or committed any type of infidelity, you must find it in your heart to tell your spouse or your marriage will end up in divorce [please apply caution here and also study the kind of spouse you have}. It's better to take a chance and tell him/her. If he/she truly loves you, you will be able to work it out. By telling him/her, you can wipe the slate clean and try for a new beginning. Chances are it will be better than it has ever been for you and him/her. You won't carry the burden of your mistake anymore and your spouse will love you more for confiding in her trust enough to tell him/her about your mistake. Remember: it's better that your spouse finds out from you, rather than from someone else. The truth always comes out, so now is the time to tell your spouse about all of your mistakes, not just some.


Warnings

Suspicion and doubt in your spouse's mind will undermine and destroy faith and trust. Avoid them at all cost and avoid getting into situations that create them.

Don't give in to infidelity. Most men/women who come on to you are unhappy and can't be faithful to one person, so they can't stand to see someone else happy and faithful.

@ poster
Well written

Hmmmn.

Additional tips:

Tell  your spouse what is happening. If someone is pursuing you, you've told them you are married and not interested and they continue, let your spouse know.

If the person manages to get hold of your number and calls or texts you, don't answer it or reply.  If you are with your spouse when they call, get your spouse to answer your phone every time.

Great tips. Thanks.