You either leave her or she leaves you, when a mother gets involved trust me it always goes south n this is me speaking from experience. My ex left me based on the nigga get money not knowing the dude was faking it all. Marriage happened ogbeni took her to single room apartment no longer 5 bedroom. Bottom line she divorced him n wants me back but who be mumu. I OBIdiently declined

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Her mother is pressurizing her.

She is pressurizing you.

You better go and look for someone else to pressurize before they pressurize you to your early grave.

Ndi pressure.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

OP I have a feeling I know her!

Is the elder sister a lawyer?

Best of luck.

You said the lady too is doing her own business while you are doing yours. Get married and hustle together, with prayers you never know how things will turn out.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

In this country no wait for financial stability to marry ooh.

Once you make good money and what you're doing is still fetching you money, Oga marry and build together with your wife.

No jonse.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Give me her number am ready women don't marry who they love they marry who is ready.

See my friend let me advice you, as you said things don't normally work out the way we think
What if after that 4years and u are not stable what will you do?
My advice is will give you is go see that girl people since the lady have know your financial capability.
Two of you will work things out......two head is better than one......#peace✌️

@op please don't let her pressure you to settle down. I'm speaking from experience. Take you time. It not all about wedding but marriage. Ask yourself dis question," can I afford to feed her and the kids at the moment?" If the answer is no, quit and let her go. If you go ahead, she will frustrate your life after wedding and you may end up thinking of suicide. Please don't rush into that dangerous thing called marriage. My opinion

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

The same older girl below

victooman:
Nairalanders, during service year l met a good and excellent woman,, someone l love with everything , l am 27yrs and she is 27 too, l was born on may and she was born in January, this thing just weak me o, looking at my appearance and the way l conduct myself most people assume l am 30 and above self, please nairalanders l dont want to lose this girl, what is the disadvantages of marrying a girl your senior? l cant cope with younger girls, their reasoning is what l cant cope with , l want to marry this girl immediately l hit 30 ,

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

If you have money u can go and see her people telling them u have their girl, this way it will show she has someone responsible she is dating, because pressure most time is not everyone who can over it,

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

It is a trap.

This is a common strategy by women and their mothers.

It is to make you feel guilty and then succumb to marriage by pity.

Believe me, she would tie you down with a legal marriage and then she would retire early.

She would not do any major work beyond rearing kids and trust me, your sex life wpild become boring with time.

You would bear all the family costs (including her mother’s).

Do not marry when you cannot afford to take care of 4 people comfortably.

Tell her to get a job. You too, advance your career.

Don’t fall for this old scam.

The scam has been on for centuries.

Men think they are smart. It is the smart people that play it cool.

Don’t let any woman rush you into a marriage when you are not okay.

Instead of spending your early assets in taking care of another person’s child, build yourself.

If she is so hungry for marriage, let her get another guy.

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

Oga let her go. Tell her in plain terms that she's free to go ahead that u not ready.
She's 27 this is her prime. Let her explore, she will surely find a serious man within a yr if u completely out of the picture. Moreso, u said she's beautiful. Naija men no dey take eye see single attractive lady.

Telling her to wait another 4 yrs is unfair. U may not even marry her and nurturing a new relationship at 31 doesn't come easy for women, at that age they are very limited with choices.

If u are so keen about her, give her belle. But don't tell her to wait for on top of nothing.

victooman:
bro the thing weak me,, all l am asking is for her to be patient,,

She is being pressurised for marriage, that is a red flag.
Beware!
Many other pressures are on the way for you.
And if she cannot handle her pressure herself by taking counsel from you and show solidarity with you. She is not worth your while

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

4 years may be too long a time for her to wait, allow her see other people if she wants to

Who told you that you will be financially stable in the next 3years?. If you can successfully feed yourself and your partner when you can still maintain a good looking standard. Go for introduction and discuss with your partner when you will be ready to father a baby delay is dangerous.

Extratyre01:


Give am Belle.. Na sure odd be that, she go wait

ahhaha u be werey

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

If you're financially capable you can go ahead but if you're not don't take the risk at the end it won't be worth it. I had similar experience too, it was hard but I had to let her go and today I did not regret that decision. You will always find a better woman. As it is the lady is desperate and she will explore available options, she will consider dating some other guys who she believes they are ready to go into marriage. Save yourself Herat break and let her go.

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

Leave that girl, women are not like men. In next 4 years now you will tell her she's old. You will surely disappoint her bc you're not God. Cursed is he who puts his trust in man, several future events can happen for you to change your mind. Leave her now biko

victooman:
small boy,, look at an idiot calling me a small boy? pls come and collect her number and marry her since you are the adult here,, so because l dont have the finance for marriage now l am a small boy,, the one that will pay her bride price at a go are the mature ones? did u even go through the post or u just want to blab?

This finance thing is relative. Since you said you both are running your businesses, my advice is for you to marry her if you are up to 30 years which I assume you should be considering her age.

You may look for a good girl to marry but may not find one when the money you are looking for finally comes.

Look around, there are married people earning less than you do. You both can manage for now and avoid unnecessary spending.

Having one child too won't really drain you that much. It becomes a problem when you have 3 to 4 kids.

I wish I didn't leave girls to chase only money. My friend that introduced his girlfriend to me in our final year just wedded the girl. I felt it was too long a time to hook up a girl for marriage.

Now, it's difficult for me to get someone I genuinely like for marriage. I am supposing my high taste is the problem.

Look around, if you feel she has qualities you can easily find in other women, let her go. Otherwise, do the needful.

ayoncox:

Discuss with your parents, friends and family. It's not always expensive to get married, it's maintenance after wedding that's the main challenge. Reach out to your parents for support.
But if you feel you can't handle the pressure, free her

Wrongest advice ever!

How were you able to type this sh**t?

you can marry low key and delay child birth

victooman:
Good day nairalanders,,
l met a beautiful and excellent girl during my Nysc, honestly she is everything l need in a woman,
We finish our service last year and started life in Abuja, she live with her sister and doing her own business while l live alone in the same town,, The problem now is that this girl mother is already pressurizing her for marriage,, she is 27 yrs and the mother is already making her looks like she is too old for marriage,, yesterday she came to my house looking all moody and worried,, when l enquired she told me her mom is asking her when the man she is dating will come home for introduction,, l took my time to explain things to her,we can't go into any marriage without been financially stable,l have a business l am running and l am looking at stability of that business in 3-4yrs time,,l told her l wont give you any specific date on when to come see her people ,,but l assured her if she stick with me God knows l wont think of any other woman during marriage,,, she told me her plan is to get married at 25yrs and l told her things dont always work out the way we plan them,, honestly l dont want to lose this girl and l also dont want to rush anything,, what do l do nairalanders...

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

convey this thoughts exactly to her. No + or -

Mr Man do what you want and stop propagating vawulence, I can see clearly how smart you are disposing all the propositions here.

You must be a vawulence man

He fear is understandable and I think what she wants is a kind of assurance that you will not change your mind after wasting her time waiting for you. Both of you can come to the middle point by doing this.
Arrange to visit her mother and have one on one discussion with her. Explain why you cannot go into marriage immediately. But change your plan from 3-4 years to 2 years and work towards actualizing that. Tell the old woman you will get marry in two years with sure assurance. You may buy occasional gift for the woman.
If after this the girl cannot wait for 2 years, pls let her go

OP Please free that girl. It appears you just want to waste her youthful time otherwise you can go and do introduction on a low budget and finish the traditional aspect and postpone the Registry till when you are capable financially. Anyway, I wish you the best.

NutFunny:
keep that in mind

duketerry22:
You either leave her or she leaves you, when a mother gets involved trust me it always goes south n this is me speaking from experience. My ex left me based on the nigga get money not knowing the dude was faking it all. Marriage happened ogbeni took her to single room apartment no longer 5 bedroom. Bottom line she divorced him n wants me back but who be mumu. I OBIdiently declined

I thank God for the obidient spirit in you.

victooman:
bro l am not holding her o,,l only gave her a sound and reasonable advice,, leaving me is not an assurance she will get a man who will pay her bride price in 2- 3 months ,, if she leaves and the man she meets disapoint her the circle continues,, in 3- 4yrs she will be 31 or latest 32 and we will settle down and at least have something to fend for our self and the kids,, the "woman time" is a lie orchestrated by the society and nothing more. women in their 40s and fifties are given birth talk more of a girl in her 20s and 30s,,if she decides to go and gamble l will wish her well,, l am just bothered because l love this girl and she is a very good person,, so l am not holding her back..

If you love her truly, get a marriage proposal you can afford n table it to her.. It can just be something of gathering ur close relative n friends, pay dowry n take ur wife.. Good girls are really scarce these days.

Would you want your sister to marry in her 40s. Let’s be reasonable on here. Your well being and plannings matters and same goes with her. She can’t wait till 30. Just think it out as a man and make your best decision.

She no serious... that’s why it’s good to have plan B...u want her to wait for 4 years so that it will end in tears