By Florence Onuegbu



The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA) on Wednesday urged the male gender to assist in house chores, for the good of the family.

The Executive Secretary, DSVA, Mrs Lola Vivour-Adeniyi, gave the advice at Katangowa Market, during an advocacy against Sexual and Gender Based Violence (SGBV), tagged: Men Wey Sabi.

Some women have died because they did not cook for their spouses, some women are being victimised because it appears they are not meeting up with the house chores.

Today we are engaging the men; the men will be cooking; men will be cleaning; men will be changing diapers; basically roles that have been specifically ascribed as feminine roles.

What we are saying is that it doesnt make you less a man if you are involved in house chores for the family.

What we are saying is that if you are a man wey sabi, you should be involved because it is in partnership, marriage is partnership, Vivour-Adeniyi said.

She said that the campaign followed the resolve by the state government to rid Lagos of SGBV crimes in its entirety, through enlightenment campaigns and continuous sensitisation plan that cut across different strata of the society.

According to her, it is expedient to change the social construct by breaking gender stereotypes that further heighten directly or indirectly the crime of sexual and gender based violence.

She said that in the last one year from September 2021 to July 2022 there was a record of 4,860 cases of SGBV, with a notice of slight decrease in May and June.

The Babaloja General, Alhaja Abiodun kosoko and Iyaloja General, Mrs Funmilayo Alabi George of Agbado Okeodo LCDA expressed gratitude to the state government for bringing the initiative of the Market Fiesta.

Kosoko said that the problem associated with SGBV was that some people dont want the issue to be exposed, if it happens.

At the Katangowa market campaign, selected male adults performed on-the-spot chores socially ascribed to women, such as diaper changing and cooking.

Winners and other participants went home with various gifts and consolation prizes.

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Edited by Oluwole Sogunle

Source: https://asknigeria.com.ng/topic/13407/domestic-violence-lagos-charges-men-on-chores

I don’t support this but won’t joke with him on making provisions and providing security

why will you invade a home to tell all men how they will run their home ?

authoritarian much

Rozross:
I don’t support this but won’t joke with him on making provisions and providing security

Abi. Everyone should know their boundaries and responsibilities. It's just that the new generation ladies are screaming for help.

Ebubu:
why will you invade a home to tell all men how they will run their home ?

authoritarian much

I wonder oo. Thou they found out that because of the lack of help there is an increase in the rate of gender violence.

Let's be factual some men are beasts

lessonotes:


Abi. Everyone should know their boundaries and responsibilities. It's just that the new generation ladies are screaming for help.

The problems started when modern men began to demand that women should provide as well. Switching gender roles comes with it’s price and that is what we are reading here now.

lessonotes:


I wonder oo. Thou they found out that because of the lack of help there is an increase in the rate of gender violence.

Let's be factual some men are beasts

some men are beasts but na women dey put cameroon pepper for househelp vagina because she dey frolick with boys, and use iron to press her laps or back as a form of punishment.

tell househelp she won’t eat dinner or fast for one day as punishment

should i go on ?

abeggi

if women were stronger than men they would do worsee, if women were in men shoes they would do worseee, you hardly see man punishing househelp gruesomely, many even hold the wife back from punishing househelp gruesomely but look at househelp because you feel you’re stronger than her, look at how most of you treat her.

if you want to read any househelp news just open daily sun page 3 every tuesday

Rozross:
The problems started when modern men began to demand that women should provide as well. Switching gender roles comes with it’s price and that is what we are reading here now.

I agree totally with you. A lady friend called me and asked me that her fiance said before they get married they should agree on financial roles. He would pay for food, house rent while she pays for school fees and some other things. She asked me that is it right? I said no, it isn't.

So these modern switching of roles comes with a price definitely.

if women were stronger than men they would do worsee, if women were in men shoes they would do worseee, you hardly see man punishing househelp gruesomely, many even hold the wife back from punishing househelp gruesomely but look at househelp because you feel you’re stronger than her, look at how most of you treat her.

if you want to read any househelp news just open daily sun page 3 every tuesday

lessonotes

Ebubu:


some men are beasts but na women dey put cameroon pepper for househelp vagina because she dey frolick with boys, and use iron to press her laps or back as a form of punishment.

tell househelp she won’t eat dinner or fast for one day as punishment

should i go on ?

abeggi

if women were stronger than men they would do worsee, if women were in men shoes they would do worseee, you hardly see man punishing househelp gruesomely, many even hold the wife back from punishing househelp gruesomely but look at househelp because you feel you’re stronger than her, look at how most of you treat her.

if you want to read any househelp news just open daily sun page 3 every tuesday

Hmmmm true talk, God help the female gender.

If men are demanding for ladies helping in financially, then the men too must help out in their daily chores. During our father's time, none of these came to the fore. Maybe because then, their earning power was low but the buying power was high. The Naira was good, so no matter how little you earn, the purchasing power is high, and remember most of our mothers were full time house wives.

If a husband in these day and time is earning 70k and the wife is earning 60k, he would definitely want her to help financially. The purchasing power of the Naira has reduced drastically through the years.

Also our ladies want to work and be in the same time house wives, which isn't bad, but it comes with a cost. If you've gone out since morning and come home, after cooking, you're tired. If you don't have house help, who will do the dishes?

This nonsense wokeness wey dem dey bring enter Africa go fall on there head. las las Nah evening newspapers go increase

Look at the rubbish you typed. How many men are asking ladies to bring their money? How many of you ladies even have money to bring? Apart from sex, what do you guys really bring to the table? Now you want to make it sound as if it is the men that first asked the ladies to bring there money


If you don't drop this nonsense, see you be coming an evening newspaper

Feminism is a curse even to the white that invented it

lessonotes:
If men are demanding for ladies helping in financially, then the men too must help out in their daily chores. During our father's time, none of these came to the fore. Maybe because then, their earning power was low but the buying power was high. The Naira was good, so no matter how little you earn, the purchasing power is high, and remember most of our mothers were full time house wives.

If a husband in these day and time is earning 70k and the wife is earning 60k, he would definitely want her to help financially. The purchasing power of the Naira has reduced drastically through the years.

Also our ladies want to work and be in the same time house wives, which isn't bad, but it comes with a cost. If you've gone out since morning and come home, after cooking, you're tired. If you don't have house help, who will do the dishes?

Der is a stigma in dis world against men and it keeps rising by d day
Men look out for each other it better to talk to each other than be dead
They keep shouting gender violence against women but no body is talking abt men
Do u think men too don't suffer from d hands of dis Jezebel

lessonotes:


I agree totally with you. A lady friend called me and asked me that her fiance said before they get married they should agree on financial roles. He would pay for food, house rent while she pays for school fees and some other things. She asked me that is it right? I said no, it isn't.

So these modern switching of roles comes with a price definitely.

If we don’t switch roles, then what are the benefits of the said marriage to men?
I mean, if an average man can have my woman just for few nairas, recharge card or data, indomie to name a few, then why should I take such a woman into my life and take all her burden till death?
Look, nature will always find it’s balance.
Women can’t eat their cake and have it.
If a man is to pick all the responsibilities and liabilities in marriage, is he getting a virgin lady as compensation? Ooohhh or you think what is there being a virgin? That it is nothing?
What are the incentives to convince the modern man to marry a sexually liberated modern women if she is not going to contribute financially in the marriage? I need your answer

This is no problem.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
There are many options in the dating market now and one of which is just to get a babymama to give you a baby while you agree to take the baby from her and raise.
A good example is me. I will gladly take 2 kids and either give to my parents to raise or my aunt.
Believe me, a 50k per month to them will make them be more than willing to take and raise this kids.
Just for feeding them. School fees and clothing and medical bills is on me.
My aunty will take it gladly. Extra (0k per month
Another option is to just hire a full house nanny for 35k per month for looking over them while I go to work.
Believe me, it is far cheaper to raise kids like this than a woman as wife being with you. That bill can go more than 100k and won’t still be enough.
Nobody should call me out abeg because we have far more single mothers, career women in nigeria and UK/US/Canada etc and heaven didn’t fall.
When a man wants to live his life without a wife being part of it then he’ll will want to fall.

emmaodet:
This is no problem.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
There are many options in the dating market now and one of which is just to get a babymama to give you a baby while you agree to take the baby from her and raise.
A good example is me. I will gladly take 2 kids and either give to my parents to raise or my aunt.
Believe me, a 50k per month to them will make them be more than willing to take and raise this kids.
Just for feeding them. School fees and clothing and medical bills is on me.
My aunty will take it gladly. Extra (0k per month
Another option is to just hire a full house nanny for 35k per month for looking over them while I go to work.
Believe me, it is far cheaper to raise kids like this than a woman as wife being with you. That bill can go more than 100k and won’t still be enough.
Nobody should call me out abeg because we have far more single mothers, career women in nigeria and UK/US/Canada etc and heaven didn’t fall.
When a man wants to live his life without a wife being part of it then he’ll will want to fall.

O emma stop this already

Qtrpst4:
Look at the rubbish you typed. How many men are asking ladies to bring their money? How many of you ladies even have money to bring? Apart from sex, what do you guys really bring to the table? Now you want to make it sound as if it is the men that first asked the ladies to bring there money


If you don't drop this nonsense, see you be coming an evening newspaper

Feminism is a curse even to the white that invented it

Comrade dey calm down na

Sorry, it's just a slip of vawulence

lessonotes:


Comrade dey calm down na

emmaodet:
This is no problem.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
There are many options in the dating market now and one of which is just to get a babymama to give you a baby while you agree to take the baby from her and raise.
A good example is me. I will gladly take 2 kids and either give to my parents to raise or my aunt.
Believe me, a 50k per month to them will make them be more than willing to take and raise this kids.
Just for feeding them. School fees and clothing and medical bills is on me.
My aunty will take it gladly. Extra (0k per month
Another option is to just hire a full house nanny for 35k per month for looking over them while I go to work.
Believe me, it is far cheaper to raise kids like this than a woman as wife being with you. That bill can go more than 100k and won’t still be enough.
Nobody should call me out abeg because we have far more single mothers, career women in nigeria and UK/US/Canada etc and heaven didn’t fall.
When a man wants to live his life without a wife being part of it then he’ll will want to fall.

No child deserves to be raised without both parents being in the picture. I believe you were not raised that way? Even if you were, it doesn't make it proper.

But that is what you get when you begin to project feministic wahala. You think any man will want to have a feminist as a wife?

Rozross:
O emma stop this already

Qtrpst4:
But that is what you get when you begin to project feministic wahala. You think any man will want to have a feminist as a wife?

I’m not a feminist and don’t have the strength to be one. I’m a strong dependent woman and once a man takes his providing role seriously then submission from my side won’t ever be a problem

lessonotes:


No child deserves to be raised without both parents being in the picture. I believe you were not raised that way? Even if you were, it doesn't make it proper.

I’m surprised to read that from him.

It's good to know you are not a feminist. While I agree that it is the job of a man to provide (though the woman should help if she can)
submission from the woman should not be tied to the man providing and providing for the man should not be tied to the woman submitting. Everyone should just do their duties to God the creator of marriage

Rozross:
I’m not a feminist and don’t have the strength to be one. I’m a strong dependent woman and once a man takes his providing role seriously then submission from my side won’t ever be a problem

Rozross:
O emma stop this already

Hahaha

Roseeeeeeee
I know you will be here.
I know you will comment.

lessonotes:


No child deserves to be raised without both parents being in the picture. I believe you were not raised that way? Even if you were, it doesn't make it proper.

You are totally right. I agree with you that no child deserves to be raised without both parents but it is very common to see Nigerian women abroad as single mothers and they are okay with it since they are earning and believe they don’t need a man in their lives anymore.
You will here things like, since am making my money, what do I need a a man for? At this point they don’t know the kids need the love of both parent to grow.
Even in nigeria, single mothers, many working class high earning women are not married but with kids. It is so common.
They will start giving excuses men are bossy, controlling, they can’t respect a man they are earning more than etc none is considering the kids but when men start nursing the idea of staying single then people start fidgeting and start thrown love around that the kids need the love and care of both parent.
Anyway

Nansense and ingredients... Women should also assist in paying school fees and rents.

Eveybody should maintain their roles abeg

lessonotes:


I agree totally with you. A lady friend called me and asked me that her fiance said before they get married they should agree on financial roles. He would pay for food, house rent while she pays for school fees and some other things. She asked me that is it right? I said no, it isn't.

So these modern switching of roles comes with a price definitely.

Lool, he didn't make a plan of how to share the taking care of the home, cooking, cleaning, babysitting?

It comes with a huge price

NoToPile:


Lool, he didn't make a plan of how to share the taking care of the home, cooking, cleaning, babysitting?

It comes with a huge price

No mind am

No problem if each party help each other when it's obvious the partner needs the help. But each party must know their primary responsibility.

Those statements up there sound too general, like a man must share house chores with the wife even when she is watching Telemundo and the man is working his ass off to provide for the family.

lessonotes:
If men are demanding for ladies helping in financially, then the men too must help out in their daily chores. During our father's time, none of these came to the fore. Maybe because then, their earning power was low but the buying power was high. The Naira was good, so no matter how little you earn, the purchasing power is high, and remember most of our mothers were full time house wives.

If a husband in these day and time is earning 70k and the wife is earning 60k, he would definitely want her to help financially. The purchasing power of the Naira has reduced drastically through the years.

Also our ladies want to work and be in the same time house wives, which isn't bad, but it comes with a cost. If you've gone out since morning and come home, after cooking, you're tired. If you don't have house help, who will do the dishes?

This thing you're saying, Women know every thing about it, Men also know every thing about it. The reality is that one person wants to eat their cake and have it.

The women don't want to drop any of their income to go into the household, at the same time hate the idea of being a house wife. At the same time want the men to also participate in house chores, cooking and cleaning. I said this thing on Instagram and the women were so angry, over 50 women wanted to eat me raw.

The solution to this is to marry a well-to-do husband who can buy domestic home appliances to make life easier for both of them. Then ensure he helps out in the home as well.

I feel sorry for husbands making below average income & who have no assistance financially from their wife who also refused to be an house wife. It's a lose-lose situation.

lessonotes:


I agree totally with you. A lady friend called me and asked me that her fiance said before they get married they should agree on financial roles. He would pay for food, house rent while she pays for school fees and some other things. She asked me that is it right? I said no, it isn't.

So these modern switching of roles comes with a price definitely.

How is it not right? They are both working & it is obvious that the man earns below average income. I am 100% sure this lady also doesn't want to be an house wife as well. This is what I have been writing about in my above post. Not wanting to drop a penny & also spending all your time outside of the house. At the same time husband cannot even afford domestic home appliances.

They are both struggling, but one person doesn't feel like she has to drop anything.

If he was well-to-do (Not necessarily rich), maybe it would be okay for a woman not to help out. Inflation cost is almost 800% in Nigeria.