Lol. Bro, husband and wife matter no be wetin you go carry for head o. Dem go use you left and right in every disagreement they get into.

Find way to withdraw yourself Sharp sharp otherwise, you are in for a ride. They'll keep involving you in their fraca and may even become the enemy.

From the story up there and my own experience around me, these kind quarrels no dey end. If na scatter, make dem scatter without your involvement.

Someone should summarize abeg,I no fit finish this jagons,,no ofenz op

Tell your guy to go for DNA before he starts blabbing about a son he isn't aware existed until much later.

The woman is betrayed, she should be allowed to react as she pleases while your friend should continue to apologise,

Was she not aware of her husband’s son before marriage? Some women and drama sha, if you know you can’t cope why did she have to chook head? Personally I can’t marry someone who already has kid/kids because I can’t deal with the divided attention it will cost me and my own kids. Babypapas na no go area for me.

They need to see a marriage therapist.

Don't start wetin you no fit finish oooo.

The only help you can render to them is to locate and convince them to see a marriage therapist.

Rozross:
Was she not aware of her husband’s son before marriage? Some women and drama sha, if you know you can’t cope why did she have to chook head? Personally I can’t marry someone who already has kid/kids because I can’t deal with the divided attention it will cost me and my own kids. Babypapas na no go area for me.

She wasn't aware. When the other girl became pregnant, she ran home. My friend knew she was pregnant, he inquired about it from her but the girl insisted that the pregnancy belongs to another man for the fear of her brothers attacking my friend. My friend as of that time, had no money. After two years, he met his now wife.
I think the wife is not happy with the divided attention. She did mention that whenever her husband is with his friends, he doesn't notice her presence that much.
The husband in the other hand insist he can't do away with his friends because of his wife.

underpinna:


She wasn't aware. When the girl became pregnant, she ran home. My friend knew she was pregnant but the girl insisted the pregnancy belongs to another man for the fear of her brothers attacking my friend. My friend then had no money. After two years, he met his now wife.
I think the wife is not happy with the divided attention. She did mention that whenever her husband is with his friends, he doesn't notice her presence that much.
The husband in the other hand insist he can't do away with his friends because of his wife.

The man is at fault because he never opened up about the other woman and the pregnancy to his wife, not all women can handle divided attention from their men. Your friend needs to be more matured and handle the situation well else the wife may eventually leave, he should make sure the wife never lacks attention and find other ways to care for his other kid.

Rozross:
The man is at fault because he never opened up about the other woman and the pregnancy to his wife, not all women can handle divided attention from their men. Your friend needs to be more matured and handle the situation well else the wife may eventually leave, he should make sure the wife never lacks attention and find other ways to care for his other kid.

Thank you for your input.
Like I said, my friend wasn't aware he is the father of the baby until four months after his marriage.
Secondly, the lady is insisting that her children must collect the largest share of whatever the husband have to share between the children.

Are you the husband or wife in that relationship?

If you are neither, stop having any conversations related to that marriage. Tell the wife to go and speak to her husband and that you do not even want to listen let alone know what is going on in their marriage. Do same with the husband who is your friend.

Learn to know your boundaries in life and stick to them. It will save you grief all through life. The only marriage you should know even one thing going on there should be yours.

underpinna:

I wouldn't want to bother you much though this could be lengthy.
I was in the office when my phone rang. The caller asked if I was at work and I answered yes. She said she's at the gate. I went and got her inside. After inquiring about each others day she then began telling me her reason of coming to my office.
Now, you would want to understand few things
1. My friend has a son before getting married to his wife. The son came when she wasn't in the picture at all, she was in another relationship.
2. My friend got to know the boy is his four months after marrying this lady.
3. The mother of the boy is not soliciting for support, at least she hasn't.
4. My friends wife had a stillbirth, a handsome boy.

She told me she's been having series of dream about a certain woman trying to take away her baby and have tried confiding it to my friend but my friend doesn't believe in dreams which I know is false.
She told me her husband has refused to join her in prayers.
She told me her husband insulted her family and that she's tired of the marriage.
She told her husband that the child has come inbetween them and she doesn't like it. This statement angered her husband making him to leave her presence. After that, he gave me a call and talked and laughed without me knowing what was happening. According to her, she became jealous that someone could make her husband so happy on the phone and she isn't the one so, she decided to find out who was the person. Even when she knew it was me, she still felt jealous. When I heard that, I was taken aback.
When she was done, I told her to hold her marriage well and that all marriages have their own challenges and she left.

About an hour later the husband called, we gist and laughed as we normally do then I told him that his wife visited my office.
I asked him to always join his wife in prayers if that would make her happy since she hasn't healed from the wound of losing her baby. But the husband said that the fault isn't entirely his. His wife sleeps early in the evening and in the morning, he himself will want to enjoy his sleep before going to work therefore refusing to keep to prayers.
He said to me, do you know my wife jealous at every call I receive and try to eavesdrop even when I talk to you?
He said my wife called my son evil and that the son has come to scatter the family. He said there's no way he's going to forget the boy though he knows that he will not marry the boys mother but he can't stand and see his blood suffering.

My people, he said I should talk to his wife else he will change it for her big time.

How me want carry talk to the wife again if the husband no fit talk to her.

He told me that his wife is angry that another woman's child will be senior to hers.

Although I have told him to report the matter to the wife's elder sister as he's not willing to tell his mother/father in-laws.
My fellow nairalanders, how una see this matter.