that'a tough but how do you really feel about him

that's tough but how do you really feel about him?

well I love him (as a bro). I DID (past) have sexual feelings for him but I don't The sexual feeling were for only a couple of months until I started to feel disgusted with myself and over came that. He is cute/fine but I don't like him like that. So, in general that way I fell about him is how I feel about my family. The problem is that I think he has a thing for me and we talk about sex a lot.

you need to let him know how you feel and that theres nothing that can go on between you two apparently because of the ties dont hurt him thou

I honestly think that you (Cocoa) should do what you decide to. Nobody knows you or the way you feel about your cousin more than you do, I feel its sorta foolish to come post on these forums about such trivialities. You should sort out your sex life or romantical problems on your own.

lots of other people do it also so i dont see the big deal it's because she's got no solution that she's asking for our advice so why not just give it or leave it!

yuck! your mothers are sisters? my dear sister, before you think about whether yu will be hurt, have u thot of what will happen to the relationship btw ur mothers if this were found out?

why would u put ur a strain your family (consider ur siblings, his siblings, ur uncles, aunts, parents feelings) just because of a fleeting moment of indulgence with UR COUSIN? my sis i have seen it happen btw my bro and my elder cousin, i saw what it did to my mom and aunt. i was there when my own uncle forbade his daughter (another cousin) from ever visiting our home (this was a girl whom i virtually carried from the day she was born!). I saw the attitude of my female cousins change towards poor innocent me all becos of a minute of indiscretion btw two cousins!

It took sitting down with my other cousins b4 things would ever be close to what it was again. but i won't decieve you that the singular act took away a part of our family that we would never have back again!

Pls think of these other pple b4 u take a decision, remember that unlike the US, our culture strictly forbids this. u don't want ur cousins, aunts and uncles and even ur own sibblings turning against u over some stupid actions u will live to regret forever. i won't forget the intense hatred i felt for my cousin and her sister after that incident!

@thank you all for you're good advice, Rhodalyn, David, F0d, Chinani, hotstepper. I have thought about how it would ruin my family. My daddy's side has had incedents regarding this issue (incest) before and man it got nasty. I'm not going to do anything because it's just plain wrong to get involved with my blood. There's no trouble on my mother's side of the family and I don't want to ruin that. I know that if something were to happen that it would be TERRIBLE because I'm way closer to my mommy's side and I don't want to lose and of my loved ones. I already sent my cousin an e-mail asking him if he did have sexual feelings for me and just explaining everything out to him about the situation. I let all of you know what his reply is once I get it. Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!!

I advice you don't even try having sex with your cousin because it will cause you both more harm than good.Like it happened in my family,two of my cousins did it,they are both married to different people now,I am married too,but till date,the girls father will still not allow us into his house because he is afraid it might happen to any of the other daughters again.You can see to what this has caused.

Please,tell your cousin that you are becoming uncomfortable with the way he talks about things relating to sex to you.And you too have to do some thorough job on your mind set 'cos it looks like you still feel same way a little about your cousin.I wish you both all the best.

Stop giving her advice, fool. She doez what she needz to do. You're not living in her life, if she choosez to love him, then she will.

<<mod: f0d has been adviced not to post like this anymore>>

@ f0d

didnt she come & post for advice? who are you to deny her of it you want everyone to shut up but and for you alone to speak, that's maturity.

hmm. . .what advice should i give a 14 year old who has a 21 year old interested in her?

Are you some sort of idiot? I suppose if you were me, you would go ahead and spread your legs. . . however, I would strongly caution you to not go my route. Don't destroy your life. . .and that of someone else. Either tell someone else or stay away from that person. This is not an issue of being cousins. . . if you were unrelated, the advice would be the same.

well hello to all of you. i said i would be back with the results and my cousin said that he doesn't have an sexual feelings for me. he said that he cares about me then i said that i care about him 2 in a brotherly/sisterly type of way and that any other way wouldn't be okay. he said that he'll stop saying sexual things about me.

I'm so happy things worked out! See, all you needed was to clear the air and now you know where you stand! So happy for you!

Thanx a lot Chinani

Hi Gurl,

Please do not go any further with your cousin. Let him know ASAP that you are cousins and you only intend to be one thing and that is cousins! I don't think it is appropriate for a 13 year old to be having disscussions about sex with a 21 year old. You see i have a friend who is having sexual intercourse with her cousin. She is blinded by lust and now the tables are turning against her, her family are suspicious and her cousin is treating her like a sex service. I am a teenager myself (15 years old) and i know what lust can feel like but you have to mature yourself and think of what it can lead to (in your case with your cousin!). Also, if you are a christian, you are a child of God and this is not only morally wrong but spiritually wrong too. You need to take out time to speak to God and rebuk the spirit of lust.

Cocoa:

well hello to all of you. i said i would be back with the results and my cousin said that he doesn't have an sexual feelings for me. he said that he cares about me then i said that i care about him 2 in a brotherly/sisterly type of way and that any other way wouldn't be okay. he said that he'll stop saying sexual things about me.

Still be careful around him.

Abujaboy,

You are a fool. Sexual relations with a blood relative is incest with a blood relative is incest.

Sweetie, I am a full grown woman. Let me tell you what you need to do. You need to talk to your parents about what is happening. They have your best interest at heart. This is a grown man trying to entice a child in lewe, incestuous behavior. Tell your mama what is going on. Let her read your mail you wrote to us. Your cousin is a potential predator.

A 14 and a 21 year old or worlds apart mentally. He knows that he can mess with your head, because of your immaturity. He is able to manipulate you the way he would not be able to manipulate a girl his own age.

I know your body is on fire sexually. It is natural. But do not engage in any sexual relationship with a family member. It it immoral and deviant. Tell your parents or an adult relative you feel comfortable with. Your cousin is a sexual predator.

Oh dear. There is a tribe in my country called Hereroes, this tribe has no problem with cousins dating or whatever, ya'll where suppose to come from this tribe.

Other tribes however aern't like that, no thought of that ever crosses our minds. Ya'll should talk about this issue (u and your cozn) cos its bad. It shouldn't happen at all.

Sex.

.

You mean 'whether', cocoa, I have analyzed your scenario for many months, I have come to a conclusion. You are attracted to your cousin, and you are not experienced sexually with men. 1) You do indeed have sexual desires for him, hence you approached him, and when he told you that he saw you as a sister, you honestly were shocked, because you deeply did want a sexual relationship with him. Perhaps, not marriage, but something a lot more passionate than 'HI HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR NEPHEW TODAY ? HOW IS THE FAMILY ? PLEASE, CAN YOU SAY HI TO YOUR MOTHER', you want something deeper. Which is why Jack Bauer is at Diana's tribute concert, :/

Abomination!