I was on my own some months ago when a female friend came to me, telling me about her accomodation issues and is in desperate need of a place to stay.

she's not a girlfriend... and I'm single... I had my reservations...

but knowing how difficult accomodation is, in Lagos, I accepted against my better judgement... one week later I'm beginning to question the decision... for the following reasons...

*I already accommodate a young man who was stranded, now I have 2 folks, non that I know from Adam both stranded, under my space

*She came in with so much properties, more than 3times my existing props, (majority of them feminine and therefore useless to me) as such, my apartment is filled with more of her things than mine... mostly very unnecessary stuffs... of course I won't deny there are some useful things amongst them, especially kitchen stuffs, but nothing I wouldn't have survived without... I now feel choked in the house...

*She told me her former place was sold by the landlord and the new owner gave everyone eviction notice... But the story is beginning to change, from the bits and pieces of information I've been able to glean from her since she moved in, the real picture is closer to having issues with her former landlord and she was possibly evicted... not verified though...

*She is worryingly untidy. zero organisational skills, everything's everywhere, yet nothing is found when looking for them, I even find it hard to locate my things, because they've been displaced by hers or things like that. worse part is she does not know where she keeps anything.. she's always looking for her stuffs...

*I'm very private and I love to keep to myself, I only talk to one neighbor and due to my kind of work you can hardly tell if I'm around or not... but madam is not only loud, she's extremely noisy and nosy. if she's around the whole compound will know, loud phone calls, unnecessary arguments etc, I barely hear myself think when she's around

*since she moved in, (8 days now) she's had more guests than I've for more than 8months living here... and when they leave having messed up the whole place, she'll leave everything dirty and untidy until either I or the other young man returns to clean up...

*Attitude... when I raised up these observations with her, she didn't really banter, she accepted but she's been snubbing me ever since... in my own house again oh... lmao

But seriously guys, what do I do? is it too late to give her the stick or should I tolerate her until Jan, when she claims she'll be able to leave? if so, how do I cope with such a female?

the thing just tire me

If you can manage your anger well (avoid resenting in a way you would later regret), accommodate her till January. While doing it, make sure you give her a serious reminder a month (December) before the January so she would not act funny in January. But avoid sex with her oh! She may attempt using her body to trap you. In her mind now, she might even think you are accommodating her because you have feelings for her.

If you think you will likely lose control and resent in a very bad manner, better tell her to leave because she might accuse you of assault when you resent. And in this generation, people easily believe any accusation of assault once the suspect is a male.

Another good way to make her leave soon is by bringing your own girlfriend to the house often. Your girl's presence will be a scary message to this girl. But this one is risky. Your girlfriend, instead of understanding the situation and playing along to help you out, might quarrel you for keeping another woman in the house.

I don't know what else to say. But you should know that every choice has a consequence. Keeping her has a consequence. Telling her to leave now has a consequence. Using your girlfriend to scare her has a consequence. Weight each consequence and choose the lightest one.

First,

*I'm very private and I love to keep to myself, I only talk to one neighbor and due to my kind of work you can hardly tell if I'm around or not... but madam is not only loud, she's extremely noisy and nosy. if she's around the whole compound will know, loud phone calls, unnecessary arguments etc, I barely hear myself think when she's around

Did being private get a new definition? Cos I don't think so. I am a private person. I don't do it is I don't do it. Call it wickedness or heartlessness, na your own cup of tea...my word will stand. My peace of mind is more important than Nigeria.

I was on my own some months ago when a female friend came to me, telling me about her accomodation issues and is in desperate need of a place to stay.

*I already accommodate a young man who was stranded, now I have 2 folks, non that I know from Adam both stranded, under my space

How do you call sb a friend and say you don't know them from Adam? Why play the victim card now? You could have always said no.


Since you've done it, let's face reality. One, for the girl, everybody is different; you don't expect everyone to pass your expectation exams.

She came in with so much properties, more than 3times my existing props, (majority of them feminine and therefore useless to me) as such, my apartment is filled with more of her things than mine... mostly very unnecessary stuffs... of course I won't deny there are some useful things amongst them, especially kitchen stuffs, but nothing I wouldn't have survived without... I now feel choked in the house...

*She is worryingly untidy. zero organisational skills, everything's everywhere, yet nothing is found when looking for them, I even find it hard to locate my things, because they've been displaced by hers or things like that. worse part is she does not know where she keeps anything.. she's always looking for her stuffs...

Lol. I think you are regretting your actions and that's why you noticed these little details. If you know you'll regret it, why start sth you'll regret?

*since she moved in, (8 days now) she's had more guests than I've for more than 8months living here... and when they leave having messed up the whole place, she'll leave everything dirty and untidy until either I or the other young man returns to clean up...

You didn't give them any rules of how you'd expect your house to be to retain your calm?

*Attitude... when I raised up these observations with her, she didn't really banter, she accepted but she's been snubbing me ever since... in my own house again oh... lmao

Yeah, she's thinking your 'make yourself home' isn't up to two weeks and you've started complaining when she's trying to feel home.

But seriously guys, what do I do? is it too late to give her the stick or should I tolerate her until Jan, when she claims she'll be able to leave? if so, how do I cope with such a female?

Ball's in your court. Myself, I'll rather accommodate a man, and recommended a female to a female. I see you are disappointed in her a lot, judging from your complaints.

Long story short, I guess she doesn't meet your expectations. But I am also worried about all what makes up your expectations. If you can't bear it, live alone.

I'm very private and I love to keep to myself, I only talk to one neighbor and due to my kind of work you can hardly tell if I'm around or not[b][/b][code][/code][b][/b][color=#990000][/color]

You definitely can not be a private person who loves keeping to himself.

Because if you are , you would have kept to yourself, minded your business, being private other than listening and accommodating people you do not know from Adam.

The BEST SAMARITAN.

You gathered ant infested firewoods and you are complaining about the visit of lizards.

My friend do away with the firewoods abeg.

sidney22:
I'm very private and I love to keep to myself, I only talk to one neighbor and due to my kind of work you can hardly tell if I'm around or not[b][/b][code][/code][b][/b][color=#990000][/color]

You definitely can not be a private person who loves keeping to himself.

Because if you are , you would have kept to yourself, minded your business, being private other than listening and accommodating people you do not know from Adam.

The BEST SAMARITAN.

You gathered ant infested firewoods and you are complaining about the visit of lizards.

My friend do away with the firewoods abeg.

What exactly is your point? Does leaving a private life forbid empathy and kindness?

Did u ask us befr letting her in. U wan dey chop free kpekus made u allow her. Live wit it since u didn't think deep befr u allowed a total stranger into ur aboard. Do u even think of it, if she sleeps and never wake up one day, God forbid o, bt who u want tell ur story to? Marry her then make u kuku knw say ur wife has moved in befr marriage.

immortalcrown:
What exactly is your point? Does leaving a private life forbid empathy and kindness?

Don’t get me wrong.
You have every right to show empathy or even sympathy.
That is what makes us human at least for those with conscience.

You should have empathized from afar.

No need bringing strangers to share accommodation with you if you really cherish your privacy.

The kind of attitude or behavior you are now noticing is not totally out of place , even with loved ones or friends.

You should have minded your business or better still rendered assistance in a different way other than sharing your space at the expense of your privacy

sidney22:


Don’t get me wrong.
You have every right to show empathy or even sympathy.
That is what makes us human at least for those with conscience.

You should have empathized from afar.

No need bringing strangers to share accommodation with you if you really cherish your privacy.

The kind of attitude or behavior you are now noticing is not totally out of place , even with loved ones or friends.

You should have minded your business or better still rendered assistance in a different way other than sharing your space at the expense of your privacy

It seems you don't know what it means for someone to be stranded. It seems you don't know the meaning of emergency. This is why you find it difficult to understand why someone can diaplease himself to help another person.