IN 2005, MY BEST FRIEND LOST HER PARENTS. IT WAS A TERRIBLE TIME FOR HER. SHE TOT THAT THAT WAS ALL SHE HAD TO BEAR UNTIL HER ELDER/ONLY BROTHER/SECOND BORN CHANGED. HE STARTED YELLING AT HER ELDEST SISTER(WHO IS THE FIRST BORN) BECAUSE OF HER LATE MOM'S GRATUITY *CASH*. THIS LEAD TO SERIOUS FRICTION AMONG HER SIBLINGS. THEY TRIED TO SETTLE THINGS UNTIL THE WHOLE THING GOT OUT OF HAND ON THE 2ND OF JANUARY 2006.

NOTE THAT:
(HER MOTHER DIED BEFORE HER DAD. AFTER THE MOM DIED, HER BROTHER ASKED FOR HIS MOM'S GRATUITY WHICH WASN'T GIVEN TO HIM BECAUSE OF HIS RECKLESS SPENDING AND STUBBORNESS. HE THREATENED HIS DAD AND ELDER SISTER/1ST BORN FOR THE MONEY BUT STILL THEY DID NOT GIVE IT TO HIM. HIS DAD DIED A MONTH AFTER THE MOM DIED AND SO THE VERNOM WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE ELDEST GIRL. HE DECIDED TO SELL SOME OF HIS MOM/DAD'S PROPERTY FOR HIS PERSONAL NEEDS. HE WAS LEFT TO ENJOY THE BENEFITS BECAUSE HE HAD THE RIGHT TO IT AS THE ONLY SON IN THE FAMILY ACCORDING TO THE IGBO TRADITION).

ON THAT FATEFUL NIGHT(2ND OF JANUARY), SHE(MY BEST FRIEND) AND TWO OTHER SISTERS OF HERS WERE BEATEN UP BY HER BROTHER. IT LEAD TO A SERIOUS QUARREL BETWEEN HER SIBLINGS. THEY ALL SCATTERED AND SOME OF THEM LEFT THE HOUSE. THOSE THAT STAYED BACK HAD IT HOT WITH HER BROTHER. HE HARASSED THEM VERBALLY AND EVEN THREATENED TO BAET THEM UP AGAIN. OBVIOUSLY, MY BEST FRIEND FLED.(THIS BEATING MADE SOME OF THEM ILL AND DISABLED FOR SOME DAYS).

TWO MONTHS LATER, THE PRODIGAL SISTERS CAME BACK(MY BEST FRIEND AND HER ELDER SISTER).

EIGHT WEEKS AFTER THEY CAME BACK, THINGS WENT BACK TO NORMAL. HER BROTHER BECAME A SWEET PERSON AND BEGGED FOR FORGIVENESS WHICH WAS GRANTED. HE RETURNED TO HIS REGULAR LIFE AS A GOOD BROTHER.


SOME MONTHS LATER, THE FRICTION STARTED AGAIN. BY THIS TIME THE THIRD DAUGHTER LEFT THEIR HOME TO BECOME INDEPENDENT IN ANOTHER STATE IN NIGERIA. THOSE LEFT AT HOME WERE MY BEST FRIEND, HER ELDER BROTHER, HER IMMEDIATE ELDER SISTER AND HER YOUNGER SISTER OF JUST 3.

THE FRICTION CONTINUED WITHALOT OF CHANGES IN HER BROTHER. HE DEMANDED FOR HIS OWN SHARE OF THE GRATUITY *CASH* WHICH WAS GIVEN TO HIM. HE USED IT IN GETTING HIMSELF A CAR. BUT GREED DID NOT LET HIM GET SATISFIED. HE STILL DEMANDED THAT HE HELD THE REMAINING MONEY : REASON;HE WAS THE FIRST SON AND HIS ELDER SISTER WHO WAS ALREADY MARRIED HAD NO RIGHT KEEPING THE FAMILY MONEY. BUT THEY ALL KNEW THE TRUTH. IF THE MONEY WAS GIVEN TO HIM, HE'LL SPEND IT ALL FORGETTING THAT HIS KID SISTERS WERE ORPHANS THAT NEEDED TO BE CARED FOR. THIS MONEY WAS ALREADY KEPT IN A SAFE PLACE, WHICH IS THE BANK. HIS ELDER SISTER HAD ALREADY FIXED IT AND THE INTEREST WAS USED FOR THE FAMILY UPKEEP.

"POOR BROTHER" WAS ANGRY, SO THE FRICTION CONTINUED. HE FINALLY SHATTERED THE JOY IN THEIR HOME WHEN HE BEAT UP ONE OF HIS SISTER IN MAY THIS YEAR. SHE WAS IN A BAD SHAPE WHEN SHE WAS RESCUED BY NEIGHBOURS IN THEIR FAMILY HOUSE. HE WAS STILL BEATING HER WHEN THE NEIGHBOURS BARGED IN AND INTERVENED. IT WAS A TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE. SHE WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR "THREE DAYS". MY BEST FRINED AND HER SISTER LEFT THEIR HOME AND HAVEN'T RETURNED SINCE THEN.



IF YOU WERE IN HER SHOES WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

PLEASE GIVE HONEST REPLIES SO THAT I CAN ADVICE HER. SHE IS SQUATTING WITH DIFFERENT FRIENDS PRESENTLY. THINGS ARE VERY DIFFICULT FOR HER AND HER SIBLINGS. SHE ALSO AFRAID TO GO BACK HOME.

, BYE,

Phew!!!, This is a very dicey situation as one needs to tread carefully. As we are all aware, this culture thing gets a lot of hands tied. If your friend goes to the Police, I can guarantee you that nothing can be done from the perspective of the law (I am subject to a legal personnel's verification).

However, she could get the guy arrested for battery or something, but then afterwards, what happens, the grounds would only get hotter.

My own candid view, if your friend can get a place to stay, at least until she gets a job to support herself, let her just stay away. Some of these shameless guys can do anything to lay their hands on any form of free cash, trust me, I know what am talking about.

From this point, and the guys behaviour, you can see that he is destined to be a failure. Advice your friend to stay away, get a caring friend or other family members to stay with and plan her life from there. Is she educated? That may be another factor.

All the best, and pray.