everyone, join me and sing!!!!!!!!!!
everybody raise up your hand for moluuuuuuuueeeeeeeee!, lagos city transpooooooooorrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttt!
this is why this na naija!!!

D-reloaded:

what is wrong with Ibadan?

Na mugu dey drive for Ibadan; How many roundabout dey Lagos?
Dem take am waste road for Ibadan.

No.6 is really funny and No. 11 is a fact.my mom once followed a bus driver to his house thinking she was using a shortcut, the next thing she saw was the guy greeting his neighbours.I cant help but laugh whenever she remembers that.lol
i support the keep moving tip though.Even if with a flat tyre especially at night(u don't wanna try it).Someone like me with 3 expensive phones always obey that.

OMG! roflmao

sultaan:

Na mugu dey drive for Ibadan; How many roundabout dey Lagos?
Dem take am waste road for Ibadan.

roflllllllllllll

Once, i saw a danfo driver bump a car off a pedestrian walk so he could pass, i was just like WTF!!!

lol

@ poster
i love this post because you have given everyone the rules

@ all
the best way to learn the rules is by meeting a mechanic to teach you how to drive in Lagos because all those driving school knows no shit about Lagos driving.

as for me i drive anything, from driving like a gentleman to driving like a danfo driver in traffic. let me tell you what you don't know about danfo drivers, they are extra careful when they notice you drive like them. but as for the taxi drivers, you are in a lot of shit if you try them because they believe that are angels and the road is made only for their use.

so my advice to all that has driven every where else but lagos, met a Lagos mechanic to teach you how to drive before embarking on the journey of driving in Lagos because its suicidal not knowing how to drive in Lagos before driving there.

also, all Lagos drivers are potential mad men/ women, as for breaking the traffic rules in Lagos alway go for a psychiatric test before driving else where because you are bound to break the traffic rules over there also.

so shine your eyes when driving in Lagos

@poster

How true. Driving in Lagos requires is no joke and you need quick reactions. By the way, has anyone fallen victim to the 'red lights' at Allen roundabout?

I witnessd this on my way to work one day.
I was in Danfo and alongt the way he met another drive who probably ran out of gas
He pulled his bus behind the the other that ran out of gas and began to push it until i got to a service station will on marina. This started from Apongbon. I just could help being amazed at these drivers are up to.

The other LASTMA stopped me around 5:50am for making a one behing the UBA hq in marina and fleeced me of 13k.
I couldn't believe they would be there at that time of the morning.

5:50am?

Thats even late.

4:30 or 5:00am, LASTMA officials are already on the road.

i still dey laff!!!!

that laff is infectious

Hilarious and 100% true!

laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face. but it is so true .my boss says i drive like a bus driver but then i tell him that is the way to survive in Lagos .all the times i was being a good driver, i was a victim of LASTMA.When i served in Abuja, i was amazed that sanity prevailed on the roads there;nearly gave some drivers heart attacks coz i was driving like a lagosian.took me a while to become sane .then i came back home and the madness had to return.In this town,only two people watch ur back ;yourself and GOD!!!MAY HE PROTECT US ALWAYS.

Lagos driving ! what more can one say

you know the crazy part is that after awhile u tend to adopt the lunatic driving style.Remember a friend that return home last summer after driving in Lagos for few week - like the saying goes "if a leaf stays too long with soap it will become soapy"- he got back to yankee and got into troubles with traffic offenses.

Lagos na wa! lmao

ye! this thread is sooo funny! can't stop laughing and so true.

aime:

my boss says i drive like a bus driver but then i tell him that is the way to survive in Lagos .all the times i was being a good driver, i was a victim of LASTMA.When i served in Abuja, i was amazed that sanity prevailed on the roads there;nearly gave some drivers heart attacks because i was driving like a lagosian.took me a while to become sane .

diyobdw:

Lagos driving ! what more can one say

you know the crazy part is that after awhile u tend to adopt the lunatic driving style.Remember a friend that return home last summer after driving in Lagos for few week - like the saying goes "if a leaf stays too long with soap it will become soapy"- he got back to yankee and got into troubles with traffic offenses.

my advice to Lagos drivers that travels else where

AVOID DRIVING FOR A WHILE SO THAT THE BAD BLOOD WILL BE OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM BEFORE YOU START DRIVING IN THE NEW PLACE else you become a NUISANCE.

All said and done Lagos driving is crazy and funny sometimes.Some months back,  I looked stupid waiting for the light at the Eko Hospital Junction at Ikeja to turn green, at 11 pm. I was amazed and frightened with the way guys were passing a red light like it is green. I pray that the one way laws will be made tougher. Rule of law for visitors and JJC, always keep some change in your pocket for emergencies. Keep moving no matter what. My because learned the hard way, when his tires (tyres) were deflated by some alayes at Apongbon at 3 pm. He came down from the car,after driving about 1 block away.On getting back to the car, he met 2 heavy guys who cleaned his pocket empty. As they say in Lagos, Shine Your Eyes!

I still feel safer to driving myself in Lagos.

neva drove in lagos n alway pitty ma uncle (poor uncle) dt lives in lagos even i dnt reli feel safe in moluee coz culd remember d lst tyme in ws in lagos they it ws durin d rus hr thou but they jst kip swervin into each others part i ws lk olohun je ki n dele layo but its nt easy inma dear ibadan aswell thou @ mokola,dugbe, gate(agodi),bashurun, d abe brigde along iwo rd(reli crazy wn it rains) n co reli crazy bt bt i reli enjoyed it despite dentin mi 2ce

17 and 21 are so so so true

@Topic
Really funny! I remember few years ago when I was in Lag for holidays with my Uncle. His kids (my cousins) needed to get some items from another Aunt who stays near Yabatech. They needed a ride there, their mum was out of town and their Dad was fagged out that day. Suddenly, one of my cousins suggested I drove them there.  My uncle asked me if I could drive and I said yes (though I had never come close to driving in traffic conditions even half as bad as Lagos). He gave me the keys to his Honda Civic and told me to be back early.

My cousins all jumped into the car (just to see if I would survive the trip) and I reluctantly drove out. From Gbagada I drove right into the thick of Bariga market's crazy traffic. I had no choice but to brave up to a little bit of crazy driving myself after being endlessly bullied by Danfo drivers trying to deprive me of their right of way. At one point, I got mad, slipped into first gear and shot forward nearly colliding with a Danfo heading for right side of my vehicle. As I escaped from the struggle, I heard a loud thump on the boot of my car which made my heart sink!

For the rest of the ride, we were all silent  in the car as the general fear was that my Uncle's ride had been bashed from behind. We got there safely and immediately rushed out to examine the back of the ride. Thankfully, not a scratch was found which means the tout propably hit the car with his fist.

To cut the long story short, I had to find an alternative route back through 3rd Mainland bridge. Though it was longer, it was a more comfortable option for me. Lagos Na Wah!

Cheers

Patricia Daboh

I found this post to be funny. I spent two weeks in Lagos, Nigeria on my honeymoon, and I must admit, I had never seen anything like it. The okadas swirving in and out of traffic, the aggressive drivers, fumes from the buses, which by the way I was told were called MOVING COFFINS; and the lack of any sense of order--except to get where you are going THE BEST WAY YOU CAN--added to my amazement.

Why in the world would you go to lagos for HONEYMOON?

Well the advantage of lagos driving , especially the one-way is that when you travel to UK , you don't have problem crossing the road. In lagos you are already used to looking at both sides of the road before crossing,

i just wonder while all this lagos molue drivrs and danfos dont go to compete in formula 1 or other car races, they will automatically e world champions.

the truth is am always scared driving in lagos, espcially because of all the crazy okada guys jumping infront of ur car.

any way i will add that if ur car ever breaks down, never allow road side mechs who will appear at the speed of thunder: "egbon kilo se motor yin?" they will milk u dry and ur car will not move. best settle the area boys and let the watch for u while ur mechanic is enrroute

Imagine I just started my driving class last week, believe me this will be of great help. nice one.

zankey:

Imagine I just started my driving class last week, believe me this will be of great help. nice one.

no amount of driving class can prepare you for the reality and experience of driving in lagos traffic

good observation,
i served(NYSC) in jos,before i went for service,i've lived in lagos all my life till my sevice year. i drove in jos,it was sooooooooooooooooooo easy. can you believe when i got back to lagos i looked like a bushman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okada riders should be banned for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!they compete with pedestian for all available spaces,they may even start climbing the pedestrian overhead bridge soon.All my siblings from UK would never agree to drive when they come to naija for holiday,i thot they were pretending until i went to Jos and came back!
I stood at ojota one day and looked all around,i decided, LAGOS IS A HOUSE OF MADNESSSSSSSSSSSS!

samtoye, you are behind the times, okadas around ladipo/aswani market climb the pedestrian bridge there and God help anybody on "footwagen" who doesn't get out of their way .

this is so true.I've been driving in Lagos for about 10 yrs,prior to dat i drove in other cities in naija and i was famed as a "crazy" driver.Imagine the shock i got after leaving Lagos a year ago just to come back and find out i wasn't used to driving in Lagos again.Okadas,molues and imagine,even private cars were harassing and "chancing" me.I was shocked to say d least thou i still tried to put up a performance which was far below par.

beautiful ,very beautiful, most beautiful piece this December.

zankey:

Imagine I just started my driving class last week, believe me this will be of great help. nice one.

to be candid, go get a mechanic to teach you Lagos driving. all those one na child's play. believe me, i taught a lady how to drive in 2 weekends and on the monday after she was on her way to 3rd mainland bridge. she said not a bash or insult on the way. that was because a mechanic taught me and i taught her the Lagos driving essentials that i know and was taught.

nice summation of the reality of driving in lagos.

nice piece!!!!

very funny post, let me share dis experience i had 2day

while in ojota traffic, acompany bus hit anoda car(nice honda) from behind.evryone ws ready 2 watch fight bt suddenly the honda continued goin front. suddenly he jst turnd n block d road(2 lanes, evn like 3) like sum 10metres ahead n strtd shoutin dat nobody wil pass until the person tht bashd hs car steps 4ward, that does nybody no who he is n so on. people were jst laffin, d fool did nt evn knw who bashd his car.by d time 2 danfos who dnt hv time 4 rubbish scraped d front n back portion of his car to pass, others followd suit. i was jst laffin