Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,205,624 members, 7,993,109 topics. Date: Monday, 04 November 2024 at 06:42 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage (24056 Views)
Have You Ever Slept With Someone's Fiancee That Is Currently Married Now? / How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Am Tired Of Incessant Sex? / Bride Refuses To Kiss Her Groom During Their Court Marriage In Lagos (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by ibkayee(f): 2:46pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
GloriousGbola:I don’t believe for one second that Naija men aren’t aware of these particular privileges, in fact their self awareness is what makes it even more sinister to me. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by exnovio(m): 2:48pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
[quote author=segtech68 post=119915620]I'm in a very serious relationship which will likely lead to marriage before the middle of this year. she's a good lady, very decent, God fearing and has a good Job. We both love each other so there's no point waiting than to marry her. We've talked about it and she loves the idea. Also , i've met her family and her parent treated me kindly. The issue is, we are both planning to relocate after marriage to any of the western countries, we are both credible financially and i'm very sure we won't get denied but the stories i've heard about women changing after getting abroad makes me want to think twice about the court marriage. I would love to do every other marital right except court marriage. How do i tell her politely without losing her? please i'll appreciate your advise I understand your position, because i was there before,in my case i knew her when I was already in Europe through the internet i propose to her before I even came down.After the trad and church wedding,make we go court go finish up i begin to develop feet cold after listening to my family,at last we went 2yrs later i brought her with my son here, believe me bro,marrying my wife legally in court is one of the best decision i have taken in my life. All the rules i gave her before she came over she has been abiding by them,there are lots of benefits here when you 're legally married. But the truth, lot of women use the right they are given here to torment their husbands,you have to study her very well make her even swear oath before bringing her here .for the court you hv to do it... good luck. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by adieora(f): 2:52pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
You never marry, you are already thinking of how you will japa out of the marriage once the going gets rough. Recipe for disaster. Sorry to bust your bubble but that document you sign in the church is a legal document. If you do only trad, it will not be recognised when you apply for visa |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 2:55pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: I ask again, are you married? Your response is going to inform the direction of my subsequent answers to you. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 3:00pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: Yes I am. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 3:06pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: Very well. And did you have your matrimonial signing ceremony in a church or registry? |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 3:13pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: At a registry, due to covid, even though I wanted a church wedding. It was through my church wedding preparation that I discovered that both court and church wedding are guided by the same marriage act. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by koladata(m): 3:21pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Court or no court , people travel |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by DMerciful(m): 3:22pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
In the western countries, even a long term relationship is treated like marriage with benefits to the woman incase of separation. If you dont trust her, why consider marriage? segtech68: |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by BigBashiru: 3:26pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Sweetplum: What of all the ladies boyfriends starting from school before she got married? Now its the mans turn to enjoy you guys are calling it cheating - what of all the womans cheating before she got married |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 3:28pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
BigBashiru:Why not construct an equation or plot graph to show who cheat the most btw male and female? You ll notice you creatures with 3rd legs are so pathetic |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 3:37pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: Peachy! And at the registry, were you read through a couple of laid down constitutional provisions, one of which was the fact that either of the partners is liable to a jail term of 5 years (without the option of fine), should you abscond from the marriage, when not properly divorced? Were you also told that after serving the 5 year jail term, you are still legally mandated to return to that marriage you absconded from? 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 3:42pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: Yes. As proposed in the marriage act. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by BigBashiru: 3:47pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Sweetplum: Its not about who "cheats more". its about everyone enjoying themselves at their best. no one disturbed you wen you were enjoying yourself...now i am in my own peak and i have a wife and 3 children (an example) and i also want to enjoy myself.... |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by HitSong: 3:55pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
segtech68:Do you have answer to the most important question, WHAT IS HER BODYCOUNT? HAS SHE SENT NUDES TO HER EX(S) BEFORE... IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANSWERS TO THIS, TRUST ME, SHE'S NOT DECENT SHE'S NOT A GOOD GIRL YOU ARE ON A LOOOONG THING. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 3:56pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
BigBashiru:Don't personalize it to me cos I can speak for myself as a woman of virtue. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 3:58pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: I particularly singled out that one instance to drive home a point. Yes, a church wedding certificate and a court marriage certificate are both validated under the Nigerian Marriage Act. But, it is an entire falsehood when you give anybody the impression that both work under the same guidelines and principles. Church marriages are very flexible. They create a matrimonial environment where one partner can easily manipulate the eventual outcome because there are no legal ramifications to be wary of. Both partners simply conform to the religious blanket laid over the marriage and when that fear of God is gone from the home, anyone can just pack their bags, up and be gone without a second thought. I have seen partners leave their marriages, go to distant lands and remarry without ever bothering to properly end their first marriage, simply because the vows were signed in a church. You cannot try that in a court marriage set up. I have read through a handful of comments in this thread and shook my head at people's ignorance. Assuming my wife gets tired of the marriage today and I am not, even if she moves out of the home and I choose not to sue her for absconding, I can deny her freedom by refusing to sign the divorce papers for the rest of her life. She can never remarry anywhere in this world that there's a functional legal system and she can never have any child for any other man, even if she decides to have other sexcapades. My dear, there's absolutely no way you can put both marriages on the same plane and make same cases for both. There's a reason most men avoid court marriages and it has more to do with inheritance after death and less to do with sharing formula post-divorce. 1 Like |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 3:59pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: As long as the marriage act guides both church and court wedding, they are subject to the same rules and court judgment. Can a church divorce a couple? |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 4:09pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: My point exactly. A church cannot divorce a couple. A court does. But because most people who do church weddings are not read through the detailed provisions in the marriage act, they marry in ignorance. I can bet you my monthly earnings that most couples who got into marriages through the church do not know that you can sue a partner for absconding. They don't even know nothing about the marriage act, just that they have to conform to the marital vows shared on the church altar. It's the reason anybody can walk out on their partner and kids because he or she is tired and fear no repercussions and you'll see the partner on the receiving end walking sheepishly to the church pastor day in and out, seeking religious guidance and intervention. You're even making my point for me. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 4:14pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: I don't know why some churches don't tell couples that their marriage is guided by the marriage act. Most couples don't even bother to find out if the church they are getting married in is licensed to conduct marriages. During my church marriage counselling, a lawyer was brought to explain these things to us. If you did a church wedding and your spouse absconds to marry another person, you can go to the court, judgment will be made based on the marriage act, not based on the church doctrine where you wedded. So whether na church wedding o or court wedding o, you do anyhow, the court will come for you. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Romanoff: You were one of the unique cases that had a lawyer in attendance to explain the legal ramifications of your marriage journey, during your church counselling. I can confidently tell you, you are one in a hundred cases. Or should we consider the scenario where relatives of a man can walk into his home upon his death, muscle their way through his assets and depriving the widowed wife and orphaned kids of what's rightfully theirs, simply because the marriage was done in a church and the woman has no knowledge whatsoever about the legal rights that protect her total ownership of everything the man left behind? My dear, signing a church marriage certificate in Nigeria no be am, for any serious minded man who loves his wife and wants to properly embark on that journey. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by goziem1982(m): 4:33pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Are you sure you are matured for marriage? |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Romanoff(f): 4:38pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Buddha3: We were fortunate. I attended an RCCG and they don't play about their marriage counselling. That's how I knew that the marriage certificate from the church is same with the one from the court, it just has the name of the church as the venue of the wedding. So there's no need being afraid of court wedding. Even if na church you wed, na the same rules go guide una marriage. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by eyinjuege: 4:44pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Are you both planning to relocate abroad as single persons? If you call her your wife on the documentation you fill, if she changes her name to yours on her passport, if you start living together and perhaps even have children together, if you had any type of marriage ceremony, how do you want to escape the tag husband? |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by ismodiwa(m): 6:18pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
You can do so by telling her you don't want court marriage. Simple |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by otomatic(m): 6:20pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
If you like do only traditional marriage. Customary court still dey to dissolve the union. Just be an honest and trustworthy person and you won't gave some kind headaches. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by litaninja(m): 6:59pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Are you trolling? Or are you an actual adult man? Anyways, just in case you're an actual person, there's such a thing as Prenup agreement. Read up, draw an agreement, both of you sign. Simple. ** Edit, for those that raised the issue of demise of either partner, a prenup still allows you to dictate who inherits your estate on your demise. Simply draw up a suitable will to handle this. segtech68: |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by grandstar(m): 7:02pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
segtech68 Just get wedded. |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by litaninja(m): 7:07pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Awon leeches, na them. Sweetplum: |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by tete7000(m): 7:20pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
segtech68: And how I wish I can get opportunity to tell the lady she hasn't found a husband? |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by Teesmiles: 7:58pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
God bless you Buddy, oil dey your head. Romanoff: |
Re: How Do I Tell My Fiancee That I Don't Want Court Marriage by rezky(m): 8:36pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
segtech68: Except your mouth no dey function., Try sign language maybe she go understand. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)
What Charly Boy's Romantic Birthday Message To Wife Of 40 Years Taught Me / Why Do Some Ladies Resort To Hate After Being Turned Down? / Boobs Gang: If You Have A Gf And This Girl Offers You Free Sex, Would You Cheat?
Viewing this topic: 1 guest(s)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 80 |