15 years marriage and my brother is going through a mini hell on earth.

When they got married, initially, the wife supported the husband with the usual cooking, tidying the house and contributing money intermittently. Plus she took good care of the kids.

Now, all she does is spend her husbands money, invests some of with her family without telling him. She does not cook, clean or support financially. Currently jobless. But learning some new skills for what I don't know. Loves her children and took care of them when they were little.

Current situation ;

Husband works, brings all the money, cleans the house, cooks and is deprived of sex. Maybe sex is once in 6 months. The children come to the husband for all their needs including dinner, pocket money and all matters relating to their upkeep. They also go the husband for advice and support.

Do you think it is normal for the husband to be like a house help while providing 100% of all the needs of the family ?

Husband is now tired and not sure what to do next. She refuses all advice and can get very abusive and dismissive when corrected.

Of course the husband is not perfect. During the early days of marriage, he will shout at her for leaving the kitchen in a total mess with no food, when he returned from work. And because his income was not large in the early days money was sometimes hard to come by. But after a while he just stopped shouting and started doing everything himself. At one point, he almost fell ill.

Now things are very good financially.

Husband is tired

Advice...

The husband is not confused neither is he tired.
When he is, he will know what to do.
He doesn't really need any advice.
He's cool.

But trust me, when he's forced to the walls, his return will be devastating.

IhateYouMan:
15 years marriage and my brother is going through a mini hell on earth.

When they got married, initially, the wife supported the husband with the usual cooking, tidying the house and contributing money intermittently. Plus she took good care of the kids.

Now, all she does is spend her husbands money, invests some of with her family without telling him. She does not cook, clean or support financially. Currently jobless. But learning some new skills for what I don't know. Loves her children and took care of them when they were little.

Current situation ;

Husband works, brings all the money, cleans the house, cooks and is deprived of sex. Maybe sex is once in 6 months. The children come to the husband for all their needs including dinner, pocket money and all matters relating to their upkeep. They also go the husband for advice and support.

Do you think it is normal for the husband to be like a house help while providing 100% of all the needs of the family ?

Husband is now tired and not sure what to do next. She refuses all advice and can get very abusive and dismissive when corrected.

Of course the husband is not perfect. During the early days of marriage, he will shout at her for leaving the kitchen in a total mess with no food, when he returned from work. And because his income was not large in the early days money was sometimes hard to come by. But after a while he just stopped shouting and started doing everything himself. At one point, he almost fell ill.

Now things are very good financially.

Husband is tired

Advice...

He should now dance to his beat.

The husband should get himself a second wife as soon as possible.

Jeon:


He should now dance to his beat.

Married men are going through alot

You can't help him. He is a chronic simp! He was given power by nature for coming to this world A MAN; he was also blessed by providence in that he has the cash. Yet, he is a slave in his own home. How do we come in now?

He should get a maid biko.... abi should we come and beat the wife for him? If that's too much, he can divorce her. EOD.

Why are the flaws of these 'mistreated' guys always underemphasised/bundled in like a last minute thought aaaaallllllll the way at the end of these write-ups lol and it usually starts with something like "of course the husband is not perfect..."

ibkayee:
Why are the flaws of these 'mistreated' guys always underemphasised/bundled in like a last minute thought aaaaallllllll the way at the end of these write-ups lol and it usually starts with something like "of course the husband is not perfect..."

In my opinion, may men these days are too weak. Culture has been eroded.

Why are you concerned?..... She was doing it before she stopped.... Do you know if it is a health issue she is facing. Are you there 247 to monitor her?
I stay in a family house and I know if in-laws hate you all sort of comments will surface...... So I advise you if your brother didn't seek for advice from you please mind your business........... Abi is it the money that he is spending on his wife and his family that is paining you?.... Please if you like get her a job and assist your brother

IhateYouMan:


In my opinion, may men these days are too weak. Culture has been eroded.

I think white men are weak nit black

If they have been married for 15yrs, it means their children are teenagers and very young. Mind your business and leave another man's marriage. If you scatter that marriage, it will affect the teenage children so badly. Let the man or woman employ a maid, it's a very small issue since the man has the money. If the reverse was the case, you wouldn't open this thread, you would see it as normal for a woman to toil alone for her family.

Nothing can be done at this point. What you know you can't tolerate in future, never even permit in the present. Outside divorce, the husband needs to manage his home like that.

Dogalmighty17:
Nothing can be done at this point. What you know you can't tolerate in future, never even permit in the present. Outside divorce, the husband needs to manage his home like that.

Olodo

Husband should move on

IhateYouMan:
■15 years marriage and my brother is going through a mini hell on earth. When they got married, initially, the wife supported the husband with the usual cooking, tidying the house and contributing money intermittently. Plus she took good care of the kids. Now, all she does is spend her husbands money, invests some of with her family without telling him. She does not cook, clean or support financially. Currently jobless. But learning some new skills for what I don't know. Loves her children and took care of them when they were little.
■ Current situation ; Husband works, brings all the money, cleans the house, cooks and is deprived of sex. Maybe sex is once in 6 months. The children come to the husband for all their needs including dinner, pocket money and all matters relating to their upkeep. They also go the husband for advice and support. Do you think it is normal for the husband to be like a house help while providing 100% of all the needs of the family ?
■Husband is now tired and not sure what to do next. She refuses all advice and can get very abusive and dismissive when corrected. Of course the husband is not perfect. During the early days of marriage, he will shout at her for leaving the kitchen in a total mess with no food, when he returned from work. And because his income was not large in the early days money was sometimes hard to come by. But after a while he just stopped shouting and started doing everything himself. At one point, he almost fell ill. Now things are very good financially. Husband is tired. Advice...

1. You say she is busy acquiring skills, what is her schedule like?

2. It doesn't matter what we think instead it all depends on the agreement between the man and his wife in this.

3. It is time they seek the help of a professional marriage counselor to help them understand what is going on in their marriage and the best way forward for them. Since they are not in agreement as a couple, it is best they have a counselor help them get on the same page as far as what to do now.

IhateYouMan:
In my opinion, may men these days are too weak. Culture has been eroded.

What would a stronger man have done in this case? Chosen to beat the woman into submission or what? This is nothing to do with weakness but reality. Whatever the reasons for the situation, what your uncle and his wife can do is mind a middle ground that works for both of them or decide it is best for them to go their separate ways instead. And getting a professional marriage counselor to help them is a step in the right direction.

When you gave a woman small chance, she would broaden it to where trailer can pass through.


......ur brother supposed to have cautioned himself from kind of domestic helps ,he was offering from very beginning, now the wife has been comfortable with it, infact, she might have gone ahead to JAZZ ur brother to submission.

Maybe the man is enjoying it self

Let them be.

Seems like you hate the fact that he spends his money on his wife with the way you mentioned it countless times,

Oga Op, mind the business that pays you, your brother is not mentally unstable, when he is fed up, he will divorce her.

Zonefree:
Married men are going through alot

i swear to gawd comr, many are dying in silence all bcs of what d public will say

LilMissFavvy:
If they have been married for 15yrs, it means their children are teenagers and very young. Mind your business and leave another man's marriage. If you scatter that marriage, it will affect the teenage children so badly. Let the man or woman employ a maid, it's a very small issue since the man has the money. If the reverse was the case, you wouldn't open this thread, you would see it as normal for a woman to toil alone for her family.

One thing I hate about dis caused gender is d way u bitches defence evil, starting from u

Jovialjune1:
Seems like you hate the fact that he spends his money on his wife with the way you mentioned it countless times,

Oga Op, mind the business that pays you, your brother is not mentality disable, when he is fed up, he will divorce her.

Not again in dis new year juat bury that act

Op, ur uncle or brother caused all these shit. When u show too much concern toward a bitch, d bitch would definitely turn around and take over d position of a man

emmanuelbrown26:

Not again in dis new year juat bury that act

Buzz off in Jesus name.

What attracted me to this topic is "STUBBORN WIFE".
Not really interested in other issues there.

A stubborn wife is a big problem because it can birth other problems as articulated in the original post.
There is a reason why the Bible advised women to be OBEDIENT to their husbands.
There can never be two captains in one ship.
My advice?
Serious marriage counseling, or else the man should decide whether he still wants to marry her.
When it comes to tolerance (bending backwards), all men are not equal.
I HATE divorce, but some marriages are worse than hell.
So, OP, the decision is entirely yours.

Get a new wife

Jovialjune1:



Buzz off in Jesus name.

which jesus

When once your husband's family know you are not working/doing business or earn very little, they get angry that the man is spending money on his family. The worst is if he sets up a business for his wife, they will abuse her taya and wail for the whole world to hear. Men are meant to provide and take complete care of their family so mind your business. This is why women don't like their in-laws staying in their house, they don't mind their business.
You even know how often they have sex! Na wa.

I don't think you know what's going on in that marriage so i suggest you mind your business.

Something caused a shift in her attitude and your brother knows that.

Until he stops playing the white ostrich and tackles the problem remotely, he will continue to experience what he is currently experiencing.

Every human fights back when pushed to the wall. Men fight back with fist while women fight back with bad attitude.