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Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Marriage: My Mother Inlaw Calls My Wife Everyday Is It Proper? / Staying With Your Mother Inlaw / Wife & Mother-In-Law Fight Over Who Will Sit In Front Of Her Husband's Car (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by tommy589(m): 12:57pm On Feb 20, 2023
Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏


You and your wife should hurry up to start making babies. It is only the woman your mum mould from clay she will ever want as your wife. Face your work, continue doing what is right and don't trouble yourself about these three women for now.when a baby comes they may or may not like themselves.
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by MoneyMustBMade(m): 12:57pm On Feb 20, 2023
dominique:
Your wife is 100% to blame for this. How can you open your eyes and marry into a family where you're not wanted? It's only a matter of time before the mother in-law will recruit more family members against you and your husband will be forced to side with them. It will take an extremely strong willed man to protect his wife from the animosity she will face from her in-laws that don't like her, a kind of strong will most Nigerian men don't possess. No amount of virtuousness can change the mind of in-laws wey no like you but desperation to answer Mrs no dey let you see road. You go do "hide my id" tire

You're right
For me I distance my mum in time from my marriage and was taking care of her by calling and sending her money.
The truth is that mothers are always exercising authority over children even when they are married which is very bad. Fathers treat children like mate but you see mothers no no

The guy needs to be strong and maintain the mum position in his marriage especially now the marriage is till young
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Fearyourcreator: 12:57pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:

What if she's trying to save him from unforseen harm? No mum will be quiet or comfortable seeing his only son going into deep shiit, and remember, a man in love sees no evil.
Bros I was in this shoe for years ... My mum over use her power ... And I tried to a point I almost committed suicide... Bro I let my mama be ooo... Cus if I die she get other children... We only talk on phone once a while now ...

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Beremx(f): 12:58pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:

What if she's trying to save him from unforseen harm? No mum will be quiet or comfortable seeing his only son going into deep shiit, and remember, a man in love sees no evil.
you are far from being sensible. Making senseless comment as usual. Read up the nonsense you wrote and check yourself if your brain is intact.
Btw, I hope your mother isn't like the OP's mother or else you are doomed!!

3 Likes

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by outofthebox: 12:58pm On Feb 20, 2023
Just pray and fast about it yourself. Women and occultism are like 5 and 6. Don't trust any of the three (we have wolves in sheep's clothing)
Just pray that God should guide you.
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by outofthebox: 1:00pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:

What if she's trying to save him from unforseen harm? No mum will be quiet or comfortable seeing his only son going into deep shiit, and remember, a man in love sees no evil.
People don't realize this on time. Women are very manipulative - even including the mum.

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Imjustagirl(f): 1:00pm On Feb 20, 2023
Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏



You have to be a man and stand well so that your mom will not use over possessiveness to ruin your marriage. She's jealous and probably sees you as her husband also. It is normal with some women but in such cases the son has to be very very wise in dealing with her.


Your wife is a good woman. No matter what happens from now till tomorrow don't ever let your mom convince you otherwise. She has shown a lot of patience and maturity in this matter


Solution. Manage the situation as best as possible. Try not to tell either of them anything that will make them quarrel or hate each other more. You're a referee right now. you have to be impartial, and upright. No favoring anyone. If your mom and wife see that you can't be pushed to be unfair, they will both rest. Be careful about manipulation from your mom. Eg, you're not a good son otherwise you will do so so and so against your wife and her family


Bear with your wife. It may take many years for her to be at peace with your mom. Because what she said to her after the death of the baby is really bad. That she did not retaliate shows that truly she's a good wife/person. Some people fit ment for the matter

Pray pray pray for God to mellow your mom. I know of a couple who the girls mom gave hell to her husband. They had to run away for some years. It was that bad. The girl was also an only child. With time and prayer and over the years, the woman mellowed and today all is very well. She didn't want to loose out on her grand kids


It's a slippery slope, but time, wisdom and prayers will settle everything

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by linearity: 1:01pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:

Guard your heart diligently if you're expecting true care and love from a Nigerian woman except your mum.

You people just talk dumb shit sometimes!

I guess, the mom is not a Nigerian?

Just like the mom married his father, the guy have the right to marry whoever he pleases. No Marriage is perfect out there and there are zero statistics to prove that marriages supported by mothers lasts longer or are better.

Yes, it is very important to flow with your family and seek their consent, but the ultimate decision is yours. I have seen many married endorsed by mother crumbling.

If mother love is supreme, very soon the wife will give birth to their own children and to them also, their mother will be supreme or will their grandmother love the kids and continue to treat the kid’s mother like trash?

OP, you are doing the right thing, continue the course, continue the upkeep of your mom, time heals everything.

Your mom might be genuinely concerned for you, the issue is, with Inlaws sometimes these concerns become obsessive to the point they want to control your life.

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Pope98: 1:01pm On Feb 20, 2023
Lol people get to be blinded by emotions most times, most people think because of the love shared between them and their mum that the mum can't be wrong? That's not true your mum can love you and can still be wrong 100 percent same with your wife.. They can be blinded by emotions. Women naturally are selfish, your mom is probably fighting for what seems to be her right. Her authority over you or bit of control. At this point you gat the very careful.. No force things allow time to take its toll.. Give them time
Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Zonefree(m): 1:02pm On Feb 20, 2023
Beremx:
you are far from being sensible. Making senseless comment as usual. Read up the nonsense you wrote and check yourself if your brain is intact.
Btw, I hope your mother isn't like the OP's mother or else you are doomed!!
Ebere, I've stopped entertaining scumbàgs!

3 Likes

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by shaybebaby(f): 1:02pm On Feb 20, 2023
Karleb:


You'd cut off your mother for age long mother-in-law daughter-in-law fight? Fear God now! undecided

Nope! I'd cut off anyone toxic for ME. No exemptions.

And if anyone deems the same of me, I'd respect their choice.






Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Afolue(m): 1:03pm On Feb 20, 2023
Your mum is seeking more attention. Not getting her involved as much as your mother in-law is where you made the mistake. Have you forgotten you hav married your wife into your family? And no more hers. Your mum should be the one doing what your mother in-law should be doing instead. Try and be sensitive!
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by MoneyMustBMade(m): 1:05pm On Feb 20, 2023
Nothing destroy marriage fast as third party
You see mothers, mother inlaw, Pastor, friends, public (social media) one has to be careful
Marriage is between 2 people unless they have a case that can't be settled between the two of them, they can now invite third party.

People have different opinion about life so it might not go on with you both

Marriage has not formula, you have to do what will make the marriage to work if you want the marriage to last, the both part has to settle thier issues not outsider

Your mum and mother inlaw don't have right in your marriage coz you're not a kid. You're a man for Christ sake. Stop them and only show them care be calling and sending money but let them live in thier own husband's house and allow you and your wife to leave in peace.

You're marrying your wife not your mother

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Teacherjobs: 1:08pm On Feb 20, 2023
Sorry brotha
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Beremx(f): 1:08pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:

Ebere, I've stopped entertaining scumbàgs!
you're the greatest scumbàg on this forum. Dishing out stupid comments, sounding like a fool and leaving your brain out of its box to post foolishly. Do you actually read your comments after you post them? Gone are the days you gather likes for posting idiotic comments. You are are insane!! Get a fuccking life!!
😡😡😡

5 Likes

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by SavageResponse(m): 1:10pm On Feb 20, 2023
sammirano:
You too carry your two legs to marry from the east. Carry your what's in peace, marriage isn't dating, you make such decision based on correct information.

Look at this id0t that is preaching about the coming of Jesus acting like a dickhead.

I have read through some of your previous comments and I see that you are nothing but a tribal bigot.

For someone who has been on Nairaland for over 15 years and is likely over 40years of age you should be ashamed of yourself.

Agbaya oshi!

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Thermodynamics(m): 1:11pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.

Oga stop typing rubbish, so he should now be biased and support his mum. His wife is also his family, this is someone that will become the mother of his child, someone he is suppose to spend the rest of his life together. Which kind advice you de give sef

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Jefferyhi86(m): 1:12pm On Feb 20, 2023
Keep sending upkeep money
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Cocao(f): 1:12pm On Feb 20, 2023
Dominique:
Your wife is 100% to blame for this. How can you open your eyes and marry into a family where you're not wanted? It's only a matter of time before the mother in-law will recruit more family members against you and your husband will be forced to side with them. It will take an extremely strong willed man to protect his wife from the animosity she will face from her in-laws that don't like her, a kind of strong will most Nigerian men don't possess. No amount of virtuousness can change the mind of in-laws wey no like you but desperation to answer Mrs no dey let you see road. You go do "hide my id" tire

Honestly, that was my first thought because I would never. I have seen too many examples of this and none of them have ended well. Now that she has no child for him, it is best to go very very far away from that family because the worst is yet to come. I perceive that the man's mother will not rest until she ends that girl.

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by zakkxx: 1:12pm On Feb 20, 2023
Your mother has live her marriage don’t allow her to disrespect your wife, so far your wife has been respectful. Advice her to remarry and live you alone!
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Zonefree(m): 1:13pm On Feb 20, 2023
Beremx:
you're the greatest scumbàg on this forum. Dishing out stupid comments, sounding like a fool and leaving your brain out of its box to post foolishly. Do you actually read your comments after you post them? Gone are the days you gather likes for posting idiotic comments. You are are insane!! Get a fuccking life!!
😡😡😡
Dirty bag of beans, you now check the number of Likes on Nairaland

3 Likes

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by AKWATGOLD1(m): 1:13pm On Feb 20, 2023
Guy Norah199. i will borrow a word from the elders that says bad is easy to marry but bad in-law should be avoided.
1. Your mother is a good mother. When it comes about woman attitudes, your mum knows more than you forget all these ladies that them fine for face but inside is full of dangerous things.
2. Spiritually, your mum has seek face of God concerning the lady in question.
3. Remembered that is not only you your wife marries it all encompasses your family.

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by marsup: 1:14pm On Feb 20, 2023
I think you are a very decent person... And I'm sorry for your loss.
Don't let your mom's bitterness ruin your happiness. You are doing your best for mom, and that's okay... On no account should you make your wife feel inferior, if she decides not to talk to your mom, pls leave her be.
Take care of mom, and take care of your wife more, but above all, be prayerful.
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Solocoin: 1:14pm On Feb 20, 2023
You're a great man with wisdom, keep handling the situation the way you handled it and don't ever allow anyone to talk into your head for you to head your wife. Some mother's usually do that and some wife do it. Your own good that it's your mother and she's doing this because you're the only child and all she want is a woman she can control. The issue is that your wife is not someone she can control that is the reason of her dislikeness. Your wife should not neglect her, with time she will come around because she might do what she's doing best on what someone else is telling her.
My uncle own is that the wife and mother in-law doesn't want him to have a relationship with his family and she's from Mbaise. If she see my aunt's for house she won't be happy and she's not even that good with her siblings o. She's only good with outsider's. She prefers someone who is not connecting to her to live with her. My uncle mother inlaw come omugwo and come quarrel with my uncle call him woman wrapper because my uncle always like to get my mother opinion which is her elder sister and he live with my mother and my father train him for the mechanic work he's doing. As such he can't do anything with getting my mum opinion, even when my late father was alive it was the same thing. He can't discuss even with his own father, so my uncle wife is having issue with that. My own wife is someone that if the husband want her to do something, if that thing is 5k she will collect 10k not that he doesn't give her money o.
So my brother you're doing well stand on your fit with your wife and build your own family as long as you're taking care of your mum and you're not supporting either your wife, mum or mother inlaw to harm each other.
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by Faposky95: 1:15pm On Feb 20, 2023
This is here, there and everywhere....
One man, some women now....maybe more later...?!
Leave the house and move .....let them blow themselves up...before you leave tell everyone you love them....
You got one life bro.....
You love those you can still hate.... it's life
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by DonClericuzo: 1:16pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.
You are not married yet, you don't know anything about marriage. Let me say,if you are married your is unlucky to marry a man that have this kind of your mindset. How can you even consider him dieing before his mother, his mother will lived long and leave them behind not the otherwise. I am married for 11years now, I know what marriage means.

2 Likes

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by damoobaba: 1:16pm On Feb 20, 2023
Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏



You're taking care of your Mum, your life is at peace. What else do you want. It's like you want to wake the demon that's causing problem in your family. Your Mum is like Tonto Dike that has become grandma, they dont have a husband who will love and take care of them, they then switch their attention to their son by trying to run the boy's home, never allow her do that. Continue taking care of her and she doesn't have to come to your house.
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by DonClericuzo: 1:17pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.

Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

Shalom.
You are not married yet, you don't know anything about marriage. Let me say,if you are married your wife is unlucky to marry a man that have this kind of your mindset. How can you even consider him dieing before his mother, his mother will lived long and leave them behind not the otherwise. I am married for 11years now, I know what marriage means.

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by sammirano: 1:19pm On Feb 20, 2023
SavageResponse:


Look at this id0t that is preaching about the coming of Jesus acting like a dickhead.

I have read through some of your previous comments and I see that you are nothing but a tribal bigot.

For someone who has been on Nairaland for over 15 years and is likely over 40years of age you should be ashamed of yourself.

Agbaya oshi!

I'm not the cause of your misfortune and some of us were not living in caves when internet came. I'm simply telling my brother who has made a grave mistake to accept his cross, yet you bring your unfortunate self to my mention and confirmed the errors of the op. How do you people even live with yourselves?
Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by kayfx2(m): 1:21pm On Feb 20, 2023
Zonefree:
" can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong."



This is where I confirmed you're not yet a Man. I'm very sure you didn't tell us the full story. You withheld some information just to glorify your wife and mother in-law. Your post is just to paint your mom as the bad person here.


Ask yourself, if you drop dead now(God forbid), what do you think will happen in the next 6 months?

I'll tell you.


Your mum will be shattered. She'll mourn you till the rest of her life. She may not recover from the shock as you're her only son.

But, your beloved wife and her mother in-law will move on. Within six months of your death, another man will be shinning your beloved wife's congo and there's nothing you can do from the grave. Your beloved wife will remarry after your memorial service, if you're a Christian.

Out of all your family members, it's only your wife that is not your relative. Be wise.

With all due respect sir, STFU...i am a yoruba man and i know how our mothers can be unnecessarily stubborn not to talk of a celestial woman , this dude is a soft guy you can tell...His mom preyed on that, Trust me... when they know the kind of son they have, they decide the kind of route to take.. I draw a thin line to which my wife n mom can never cross without my permission...


Shalom.

1 Like

Re: Problem With My Wife, Mother, And Mother Inlaw. by dmostcheerful(f): 1:22pm On Feb 20, 2023
Norah199:

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children”
my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

The bold statement is huge, is your mum diabolic?(only you know this)
I am just saying, how can she ask this question to a woman mourning her child a day after her child's death.
Have you had other baby after this incident?
Are you sure she was not the one who killed her grandchild while accusing her in-law.


Ok bye

1 Like

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