Hi all, I have chosen to start a thread with a new ID because my boyfriend knows my NL ID.I feel awful for putting him on blast like this but after contemplating about it for a while I'm at my wits end about this situation.

I have known my boyfriend for 3 years but we started dating early this year.We recently attended a gathering here in London, where we ran into a friend of mine and who was with her aunt who was visiting from Nigeria.

As we were having some small talk my friends aunt excitedly mentioned her sister was married in the same town where my boyfriend comes from.
A few friends came over and started talking to my boyfriend who excused himself briefly for a few minutes.
My friend's aunt then chose this moment to say that it seems as though my boyfriend is doing well for himself and he should now start thinking of bringing his kids to the UK.

My friend told her aunt my boyfriend didn't have any kids to which she smiled and said she knew his family well,She advised me to tactfully ask him about it because she kind of understands why he hadn't told me he has kids,she even knew his kids live with his parents.

He keeps saying he has no kids.I spoke to his brother who swears there are no kids and we chatted with his sister on FB who said there are no kids either.This is causing some strain in the r/ship at the moment,I'm mystified about all this and I would appreciate some insight on this

well you will just have to accept what your boyfriend said. I mean this woman from nigeria is not known to you from anywhere so why believe what she said? Besides even if that woman was telling the truth, that truth will eventually come out.

on second thoughts if this is bothering you that much you can pull the trigger and end the relationship because that woman has nothing to gain by talking about his kids.

question: are you Nigerian also? if you are you can have your people go check out his people because it sounds like the relationship is serious.

if you're nigerian, have your people make enquiries if possible.

maybe its a case of mistaken identity or those are his twin brother's kids.

who knows.

The best thing for you to do is to get an investigator is carry out some investigations about him and his past. This must be done secretly without him ever getting to know till he dies. Because, if results tend to prove he does not have kids and he got to know about the investigation, be sure that he never have anything to do with you again for not trusting him.
But, the fact is that you must find out the truth one way or the other without him suspecting your moves. The earlier, the better if you got to know the truth. There is a saying that says even when a madman speaks, there is always an iota of truth in it. The aunt couldn't possibly be saying it for no reason.

Hmmn my sister, I suggest you send your spies back home  τ̅☺ check things out oo. That way you can be comfy with †ђξ idea of getting tied  τ̅☺ him once and for all. Because believe M̶̲̅ε̲̣ you, guys are super dangerous. Why, I've had
a friend living with hε̲̣r supposedly serrrrrious fiance for 2 good years I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ calabar, only for hε̲̣r τ̅☺ find out that he'§ married with kids I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ lagos when she came visiting one weekend while he was away on a 'business trip'. Also know this other chick that had big plans τ̅☺ marry some guy that lives abroad. And someone told hε̲̣r as well that he'§ married with a kid. She asked and asked him a lot of times for confirmation, but he refused telling †ђξ truth, until †ђξ wife and kid visited naija. And then he was saying something about 'really wanting  τ̅☺ have a wife I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ naija'. Funny thing here was that his family members actually aided his denial. So please be verrry thorough, I beg you. That woman might be a liar but really, what d'you think she might want  τ̅☺ achieve? I don't believe that it'd cost you anything  τ̅☺ just find out I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ your own way and with none of his family members involved.

@OP
You changed your ID and you think he won't know you posted this just because you have assumed a new identity? How smart?
If this is not a tale by moonlight - he will know it is you without thinking.

Meanwhile - the woman said kids and not even a kid. How old is your boyfriend?
I think it is simple - someone already advised that you send your relatives to find out for you.

hayo:

@OP
You changed your ID and you think he won't know you posted this just because you have assumed a new identity? How smart?
If this is not a tale by moonlight - he will know it is you without thinking.

Meanwhile - the woman said kids and not even a kid. How old is your boyfriend?
I think it is simple - someone already advised that you send your relatives to find out for you.

Gbam

well if you have a good relationship with his parents you can ask them

i am sure his parents wont lie to you

r231:

Gbam

well if you have a good relationship with his parents you can ask them

i am sure his parents wont lie to you

You are sure they will not lie ?

hahaha

"you are using stomach to compare with stomach"

This story is incomplete.You only heard he had kids,right? Not like u heard that he is married.What you need to really find out is if he is married and then make solid decisions hinged on these findings.It's not a big deal if a man has a kid.

horny4u:

You are sure they will not lie ?

hahaha

"you are using stomach to compare with stomach"  

except if they are not planning to get married

A good parent will ask their son where the relationship is going so as to knw what to tell her

if you lie to the girl now and then get married to her

she will never respect or forgive the guys parent if the whole thing is true

1)Why don't you ask that friend's aunt to provide you with more details of these kids-say names, pics, schools they go to etc. Then probably you can confront him with these evidences.
We live in a strange world. Maybe the friend is eyeing your BF and Aunt is trying to help her out by spreading rumors about him

2) Make friends with someone from your boyfriend's town and ask them to help you with the details required.

3) Tell him to take you to Nigeria

r231:

except if they are not planning to get married

A good parent will ask their son where the relationship is going so as to knw what to tell her

if you lie to the girl now and then get married to her

she will never respect or forgive the guys parent if the whole thing is true

Again just because you are from a good home, does not mean ?
What if she is viewed as a red Passport provider ( just saying)
What if she is the money spinner ( just saying)
What if their moral barometer reads -10 ( just saying)

Do your own investigation is the only way here, something less serious i will not trust to someone,

When one is crying , its still possible to see and see well.

^^^^well you are right

but she is in a very diff situation doh

i am sure all the guys family dat she kept asking will surely tell him

Mercy Johnson's husband had kids too, the poster knows the truth deep down.

iT HAPPEN TO ONE OF MY CHURCH MEMBER. tHE LADY WENT VISITING, A NEIGHBOUR TOLD HER TO ASK THE LITTLE KID THAT IS ALWAYS IN HIS PARENT'S HOUSE. sHE BOUGHT THE SMALL BOY MR BIGGS AND ASK WHERE IS YOUR DAD AND WHAT IS HIS NAME. THE BOY VOICED OUT UNKNOWING TO THE SMALL BOY. SHE GOT OUT ANGRYLY AND BROKE THE RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS WHEN THE GUY BEGAN TO CONFESS AND BEGG HER.

Seaside 10:

Hi all, I have chosen to start a thread with a new ID because my boyfriend knows my NL ID.I feel awful for putting him on blast like this but after contemplating about it for a while I'm at my wits end about this situation.

I have known my boyfriend for 3 years but we started dating early this year.We recently attended a gathering here in London, where we ran into a friend of mine and who was with her aunt who was visiting from Nigeria.

As we were having some small talk my friends aunt excitedly mentioned her sister was married in the same town where my boyfriend comes from.
A few friends came over and started talking to my boyfriend who excused himself briefly for a few minutes.
My friend's aunt then chose this moment to say that it seems as though my boyfriend is doing well for himself and he should now start thinking of bringing his kids to the UK.

My friend told her aunt my boyfriend didn't have any kids to which she smiled and said she knew his family well,She advised me to tactfully ask him about it because she kind of understands why he hadn't told me he has kids,she even knew his kids live with his parents.

He keeps saying he has no kids.I spoke to his brother who swears there are no kids and we chatted with his sister on FB who said there are no kids either.This is causing some strain in the r/ship at the moment,I'm mystified about all this and I would appreciate some insight on this

anything built on lies cannot stand, #justsaying

your boyfriend is a coward.

Madam r u a Nigerian? if yes buy a ticket, come home and check things out yourself.There guys like that who will tactfully lead you into polygamy in the name of love/relationship,except you are ready to go all the way oo.but you need to check this out yourself its the only way.

I still maintain that love without trust is complete waste of time.please and please ignore that rooster and bull story and face your life.

Pay me logistics fees, and also Professional fees, : 60% upfront, I will give you a confirmation, with pics, IF he's got kids. , let me know whenever you are ready,

For your own peace of mind do your investigation either yourself or send your family. There are a lot of families who will lie for each other on this issue because that is the only way they can take advantage of you for their benefit.

Investigatation is really the way foward

Ask his parents am sure they will not lie.

They might dodge answring the question but they will not lie so listen very well to their answer when you ask them. Get them to say ' NO, he doesnt have any children''.

Take a trip to NIgeria and visit your in laws to be it is only 6 hours away. Wont you like to know the family you will be marrying into.

See this goes to show how jobless alot of our people are. People who are fully engaged in a career and with their own family don't have time to be discussing someone elses supposed business. I suggest you tell your Aunt to mind her d@mn business if she can't offer you any proof.

Since you already seem to be scared of your guy by coming on here with an alias to post this silly soap opera drama, go send some goons to find out for yourself and stop asking him about it until you can prove it.

Plus you guys really should figure out where you are going in your relationship, if he isn't talking marriage then you better watch yourself before you end up like the other girl you are about to investigate, stuck alone with his kids while he's with someone else,

Alakoba

Thank You my fellow Nairalanders for your contributions.Right now flying to naija is somewhat difficult,I have send my first cousin to make inquiries because she lives in a neighbouring state to where my boyfriend comes from.(this itself is confusing,he was born in one state and brought up in another state)

I also called the friend I ran into, the aunt has gone back to Nigeria, the aunt told my friend that a woman should be the least of my worries as far as my boyfriend is concerned,when I pressed her for more Info she said that was all the aunt said.

Now they've got me wondering if my boyfriend is a divorcee or even a widower?? My prayer is that he isn't married because that will be the end of our r/ship.This is a small world I'm sure if I were to put his FB details here on NL one person might know someone who knows him or even know him sef!! but I won't go there.

For those asking me, my boyfriend is 34 years of age and has been living in the UK for 4 years.His parents know we are workmates he told me he's yet to tell them we started dating this year but his siblings know about it

I'm aware things happen for a reason because I remember I didn't even want to attend that gathering but my boyfriend insisted I accompany him because he didn't want to let his friend down.My frame of mind will be in a better place once all this stuff comes to light.

@ seaside dont mind anyone that tells you to tell your aunt to mind her own business my sister invesitage and know that this is what you can deal with a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

If your guy is lying about this what else is he lying about.

If you can deal with a partner that has kids good if you cant he take your shoes and run men are plenty than settle for less. Do your due dilligence

You may find that People's parents may not always tell the truth

@freesia: if your father or mother in law to be lies to you the family is not worth marring. I can understand if they lie after marriage but before you are heading for doom.

They are deceving you for a reason you need to find out why? if it will make old people lie as well it has to be pretty big

M M M:

op

in every rumour dere is an atom of truth

I just cant believe this is MMM.