dapsycool (m)
In ya neighborhood
Posts: 657

Online

Re: Chelsea Fans: Identify Yourselves Here
« #11477 on: Today at 08:08:30 AM »

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First, whatever i type here might not be my best, since i type mostly from my mobile phone.
back to you Dr kitaun, Why must u throw insults all around just to make your stupid point.
Lets assume i've never attended school. Dr Kitaun, Classy Chelsea: from glorious Jose's era to infinity! means?
Take not of the "From," If you can't elaborate on that then you are the dumbest idiot on nairaland and must go back to Primary School.
Dr kitaun, lamenting on akola vs kitaun battles of the past, that's the greatest thing you've achieved in your life, right? and you are very proud your fought a nairaland battle, mumu, it shows how immature you are. If you need a certificate of nairaland battle seun can send you one.

Gamine posts her picshure and the bidding begins





[center]Pictures Of Nairaland Members -Gamine posts her profile picture[/center]

Mustay!!!

Eh eh

Ain't u proud of yorself anymore?

remember that post! that funny post! buahahahahahahaha! yeah remember, innit!! was funny mehhnn!! hehehe that post, di funny one! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH fuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnny, hehehe remember! was funny!

what has pride gat to do with it!

is she asking me?

is she asking he?

Aspire009
Posts: 9

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A Civilized Way Of Dumping A Girl
« on: Today at 10:52:56 AM »

[b]Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Ms. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s)
you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply] ___ Your stomach is bigger than mine.

___ Your name is objectionable subjecting my future children to it could scar and yes, scare them for life.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy shoes by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you big boy?" comment, given the 9 months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the faithful check.

___ I find your inability to cook & clean my house extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that you live with your Mother reveals an inherent psychological syndrome that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___ You mention your ex-boyfriends name more than you mention mine.

___ Three words: looks do matter.

Sincerely, [Your name here] [/b]

rotimy:

Meeting NA BY FORCE?
Get busy with the works of your hands.
TIME IS TOO TOUGH AND LAGOS TO LARGE FOR PEOPLE TO RUNNING AROUND FROM IYANA PAJA TO BADAGRY.

lol

omena555 (f)
Posts: 291

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Re: Why Are Girls Permitted To Slap Guys?
« #20 on: October 25, 2007, 03:53 PM »

wait oh! don't u guys think it is romantic to receive a slap from a babe?? Grin especially one u've been dying for! Cheesy Grin
just imagine her soft, beautiful and gentle hand falling on your face and then u see stars going round your head. isnt it romantic?

BabyCakes (f)
USA
Posts: 82

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Re: Why Are Girls Permitted To Slap Guys?
« #48 on: October 26, 2007, 12:26 AM »

Quote from: Caradona on October 25, 2007, 07:39 PM
@TOPIC

First of all, I will never slap a Guy. Hello that's like a death wish. Shocked Especially if he is a Nigerian for that matter.
You can never tell how he is going to react.
But if a man slaps me. I going to give the best Oscar performance ever displayed on movie screen. I will fall on the floor and roll over twenty times and play dead, until He buys me the latest Louis vetton 2008 collection plus a trip to go and see my favorite Music Group perform at their Concert or else i will call the Cops and it will be the slammer for him. Cool


Please kindly do your research before you post nonsense here, the name is LOUIS VUITTON and not LOUIS VETTON, you don't deserve the bag if you can't even spell the name Angry, infact, here is a SLAP for you, GBOSA!!! Grin

iF YOU'RE NOT 18 AND ABOVE, DON'T CLICK THIS:



You mean their tuface?
You mean their Idibia?

nduleme (m)
Abuja
Posts: 93

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Re: Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend
« #274 on: March 01, 2007, 10:40 AM »

As you may know, every relationship goes through 4 stages:

(i) forming (ii)Storming (iii) Norming and (iv) performing.

You have gone through the first stage of the relationship - you have formed a couple

Obviously you are at the second stage of the relationship, which is the storming stage. Here you could be tongue-tied, you could "hate" him, "break-up" with him and generally feel you don't know him. This stage could last for a day, a week, a month or even years depending on the people involved. Unfortunately, at times couple never progress beyond this stage.

It is at the storming stage that both of you really need to talk, because it is at this stage you get to know him, his likeness - some of which you may oppose. His fears, his friends and families and he gets to know yours too.

So baby girl if you don't talk you will NEVER get past this stage, you will storm till you break, and believe me a lot of married couples are still storming. Shocked

Jakumo (m)
Posts: 1305

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Re: Redeemed Church Opens World's Biggest Auditorium, Costs N7.7b
« #60 on: December 12, 2007, 05:53 AM »

Instead of a $60 million building, Pastor Eunuch would have done better to purchase an enormous floating barge of equal value, so that he and his entire congregation of sheep could be towed out to sea and left there, as their activities do paralyse traffic on major Nigerian highways whenever the Redeemed Camp _{scam is in progress.}

nairaland don craze finish




[center]She's A Liarer[/center]

wdh





One Of The Reasons Why We Are A "backwards" Country!

toshmann (m)
centerville Ohio
Posts: 3610

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Re: Should Nigeria Split Up?
« #35 on: January 20, 2008, 12:50 PM »

the country should not be split. . . . . . . it should be closed down.

Lolabbey
Posts: 2279

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Wil Sure Make You Laff
« on: February 04, 2008, 02:15 PM »

Boss : I'M giving u job as a driver, starting salary 10,ooonaira- is it o.k by you?:
temy: you r great sir ! starting salary is O.K. but how much is my driving salary ?



Interview : wt is your qualification ?

santa: sir I'm Ph.d.

Interviewer : wt do u mean by Ph.d.

santa: (smiling)Passed High School with Difficulty.



Interviewer : just imagine your in the 3rd floor, it caught fire & how will u escape ?

sadoh : it's simple sir I will stop my imagination?


muhat proposed a Girl,

Girl said I'm 1 year older than you

muhat said thats no problem girl, I'll marry you next year.



folly sitting on the top of the mountain and studying,

when a person asked what he was doing he said oye, higher studies yaar,

[center]Whare Can I Buy Ak47[/center]

wd





90% Of The Sweetness Of The Forbidden Fruit

roooooooooooooooooofflmmaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooo remember that funny thread, that one remember! buahahahaha :d

[center]If Nollywood Was A School[/center]

Gwaine (m)
Posts: 370

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Re: Will You Ever Stalk Someone?
« #34 on: July 22, 2006, 01:57 PM »

I've been stalked once, haven't done it myself (don't have the sightest interest), and know some people who've been stalked.

One of my pals quit his babe, and a few days later got a surprising email from some sweet 16. Gave her his number, address, etc - so they arranged to block. Meanwhile, she asked a few questions to be sure he wasn't a cheat:

Q. So, did You really, honestly love your last babe?

A. Well, nah. . . she was nothing - just a past time to fill space.

Q. And why am I different and won't be another past time in your life?

A. You've got so many things she doesn't have. . . like poise, a calm and loving heart, the statistics of Beyunce and. . .

(stalker cuts in)

Q. . . . yeah, and a kissable nose-bridge, a fabulous texture, boobs that stand like Solomon's cousin, etc. I've heard it
before, and it's so shameful your storyline hasn't changed - because that's what you used for Chioma and Ebere!

No need to tell the rest of the story. My pal wan die for him computer with shame!!

All of Jakumo's post he should be a stand up comic with his biting satire

Ozzigi you need to shut the phuck up about robots, since one is evidently poking you in the butt and thus disabling your already limited cognitive abilities.

My money is on Iyabo parking her 300-kilogram buttocks in Cuba or wherever she flees to after that, while she hurriedly sends payment instructions to credit the bank accounts of all the Nigerian law enforcement officials she can think of in the hopes of getting this criminal indictment quashed or placed on the back burner till it all goes cold.

If Nigeria's current laws stipulate the penalty for armed robbery in Nigeria to be public execution by rifle fire, then a far more gruesome and savage fate ought to be prescribed for big-time industrial scale embezzlers like Iyabo and Segun Obasanjo BECAUSE their diversion of money intended for the generation of electricity in Nigeria ultimately claims more victims than all the country's armed robbers combined, even if those gangs were to embark on a renewed rampage of mass murder that lasted for the next few decades.

An accurate count will never be collated to quantify the number of people who lost their lives in Nigerian hospitals as a direct result of sudden power blackouts, and neither will a tally ever be compiled on the the number of Nigerians who got barbecued in adulterated fuel explosions that took place as diesel and gasoline generators were being fueled up to create electricity that SHOULD have been provided by the state. Similarly there is no way to know how many people died at the hands of criminals who chose violent crime as a livelihood because the state failed to provide electricity that is the core requirement of ALL industry which SHOULD have kept most of the country's work-force employed.

My suggestion to end this charade and set an example for all future embezzlers-to-be who find their paws in Nigeria's state treasury : Track down that fat phuck Iyabo with the help of Interpol, then deport her foul ass back to Nigeria for a quick trail followed by public disembowelment with the assistance of a pack of semi-trained and adequately starved hyenas. Naturally her dad should be forced to watch the extermination before being ushered into the cage to accept his own just reward for looting 16 billion DOLLARS earmarked for the resuscitation of Nigeria's long-dead power grid.

Kill them ALL and let God and the devil cooperate to sort out the saints from the sinners in hell.

another one


In the future Port Harcourt airport should hire teams of airport "runway-lightmen", whose job would be to stand at intervals along both edges of the arrival runway holding diesel-soaked rags and cigarette lighters at the ready.

Then, utilizing their "human radar" ears to judge the approximate distance of approaching jets, air-traffic controllers would lean out of the tower window to signal with flashlights for the runway-lightmen to flick their cigarette lighters and ignite their fuel-soaked rags into fires that would illuminate the runway for touchdown. During the entire process, cell-phone communication would continue between the pilot and the tower, depending on whose handset carried more air-time credit at that moment - an innovative new Nigerian ATC practice that renders conventional aircraft navigation radio equipment obsolete.

By Aricanizing airport navigation facilities so as to reduce and ultimately discontinue the Nigerian aviation industry's dependence on electricity and costly refurbished equipment from the former Soviet Union, Nigeria will shortly confound its detractors by becoming an inspirational beacon of hope to all who once clung to out-dated notions that mains electricity and airport infrastructure are somehow essential to safe air travel.

_{peeps into thread and sees mustapha Mustay}

Ol' boy, na wa oo. You don dey colonise thread now abi?? How you dey sha. E don tey.

@IbKaye, how dey go dey go?? No let Mustay spoil you for us oo. You hear ??

Because i no trust Mustay reach that level oo