lola.luv:

Okay, there’s this guy whom I’ve known for about six years now. He’s a good Christian and a fine black brother if you like them slim and athletic. This guy is so humble, unassuming and decent. He’s intelligent too, not ashamed of his humble beginning but always using his story to motivate others. We’re like best friends and have kept in touch over the years.

Though we don’t see so often but when we do see and we’re hanging out at his place, we gist and play board games for hours and not once has he ever behaved inappropriately towards me like trying to lure me into bed or something. I feel so at peace and protected because he has never tried to take advantage of me. This guy seriously has 85 percent of the qualities I want in man (which is an excellent percentage, you'd agree with me).

The thing is; he confessed to me that we would make sense together and that he cares about me but so far, he just wouldn’t make things official. 
At a point, it was driving me gaga because I had this good guy right in front of me but at the same time, he was so far away from my reach.

It’s a crazy situation because I really like this guy but at the same time, I’m getting fed up of pining on him because I can’t even identify him as my boyfriend since we’re not official. I feel if he really cares, then he would have made a real move. What would you advise me to do?? Do I move on and allow another guy into my heart?

I'm a girl who appreciates a real man when I see one. Which is why I'm going to all this trouble! Is there any way to quicken the transition from being 'just friends' to being 'more than friends?'

Thanks in advance. . . .

Yeah! Swallow whatever pride you have and ask him! Something must be holding him back, and you may never know until you ask him! Else you may just remain as friends! And you'll live with regret! Dont make immoral advances though, else you lose the respect he has for you! His answer determines if you move on and allow another guy into your heart! It'll only be fair and more trajectory if you ask!

BTW have you heard the song "Tell him", by Celine Dion?

lola.luv:

^^
Thanks. I wouldn't try anything immoral. Except I want to lose him totally.
So you mean I should ask him about what he feels or what?? Gosh, that's hard!

Of course that's hard! Good things dont come easy! But wouldnt you rather tell him what you feel or ask him what he feels, than wondering if? How long do you think you'll keep wondering & Waiting & Hoping? Go for it girl, and lift that burden off your heart!

lola.luv:

^^^

But do you think he feels the way I feel? Why hasn't he spoken up?? Maybe, he sees me as just a friend??

Huh? Are you kidding me? Just as a friend? Hell no! "unassuming and decent. We don’t see so often but when we do see and are hanging out at his place, we gist and play board games for hours and not once has he ever behaved inappropriately towards me like trying to lure me into bed or something. I feel so at peace with him and protected because he has never tried to take advantage of me. The thing is; he confessed to me that we would make sense together and that he cares about me but so far,"

Those were your words! A guy that truly loves a girl from the heart, never ever ever tries to take advantage of her or coerce her into sex, even when the opportunity is there! Since he has already told you, you guys would make sense together, What is holding him back could be the same questions you've asked: "do you think she feels the way I feel? Why hasn't she spoken up??" Maybe, she sees me as just a friend?? Add to that, he may not have achieved what he really wants in life or He doesn't wanna have a girlfriend and not have money, Because he feels he should be able to do certain things if he's a boyfriend. So maybe he'll feel less like a man if that doesnt happen! I'm just saying, but it could be possible!

All your assumptions would be laid to rest if you summon the courage to ask him sweetie! Hit the final nail on the coffin of your fear and ask him!

Lola, would you really wanna see this guy in the arms of Another lady?

lola.luv:

Thanx again, sexkillz. That was some straight talk. Nope, I wouldn't be happy seeing him with another lady on his arms, especially if I'm not with somebody like him. . . .

Go Girl!

davidylan:

sexkillz said it all, its funny how you both can talk about everything under the earth except perhaps the one burning topic on the tip of your tongues - both of you!

Sit him down and talk to him as a friend, even if (and this is a remote chance) he doesnt fancy you, he sounds like the kind of guy who would be matured in his reaction to it in order not to make you feel uncomfortable.

Yeah! Funny Feeling really! This kind of love really lasts if they can just let their emotions flow! Hi Bro! Sup? Miss those arguments!

deniyor:

Sexkillz to the rescue.

With you by my side man!

.NET:

During my University days, there was this chic who had a long crush on me (and I did not know). She did not know how I was going to respond (or react) if she ever told me about her feelings. Sometimes, I observed that she was acting up somehow whenever I was around, but I did not bother myself, because I didnt know what was on her mind (I dont read minds)

One day, she mustered the courage to tell me. Although we eventually did not date, we became BETTER friends. She became her normal self and did not have to bother herself about how I was going to react ('cos I explained politely without insulting her, why we could not be intimate).

Today, she is married to a very nice guy and we are still very good friends and she still holds me in high esteem.

Lola, my advice is that you sit down with this guy and tell him your mind. From your description, you've known him for a while, so I know he won't bite. If he returns your love, then congrats. If not, no wahala! At least, you have let it off your chest. Stop burning slowly my dear. Tell him how you feel. Who knows? The feeling might just be mutual, but how can you know if you dont tell him

Cheers,
.NET

Cuddlemii:

This story is not quite realistic. Are you saying for 6 years both of you were never in a relationship with others. I mean the guy was single for 6 years. Just be sure he is single .

Anyways let me find a way around it for you. After being in a friendship for 6 years then you should be able to address anything with that person. I suggest you have a matured discussion with him, not necessarily asking him out. Just tell him in lay man's language that you guys have been friends for a while, you adore & respect him a lot, you have fallen for him and wonder why both of you are not in a relationship considering the special bond you already share. Ask what is his take on that, does he feel the same & what do you both do about the feelings & tension building up. Trust me if he is as intelligent & matured as you paint him to be, he won't mock you or gossip about it because you are his close friend. He will take it up from there, just start the paragraph & let him finish it then both of you put the full stop together. But don't write the whole paragraph so that he can express himself & you can read between his lines, body language and actions. If he is my kind of guy, he would kiss you for expressing your feelings and say "shhhh, my angel don't talk too much, I feel it too, you know I have always cared and you know, you are my baby". If the emotions are too much, you can start crying cos 6 years is some deep stuffs, you might wanna get handkerchiefs around you. Find a romantic place to do the expressing or do it where both of you first met, just do it right.
Don't get carried away O, just a kiss please, remember you have gotten his attention, now you have to keep it .

please disregard the romantics and work on the advice & location of the discussion, if possible if a place that is not close to a bed, or chair, do it on a stool, something you can't rest on. please I'm a clown so take not of only relevant stuffs. Best of luck with luv, lola luv.

horny4u:

I beg to differ with the ask him out, when you ask him today ,

are you ready to propose to him tomorrow
are you ready to pay his groom price
are you ready to ask him for sex
are you ready to provide and protect him
are you ready to take "I am sorry but you are like a sister t me"

Women are not helpless but subtle.
Seducing does not mean drop your gstring ,

it means act feminine around him ,
Laugh at his jokes in a girly way,
Use the power of body language,
Admire his muscles,
Cook for him ,
wink at him,
touch him playfully,
Adjust his tie,

If all of the above fails , then he doesnot fancy you as a girlfriend,

A man may be shy but he is not
a wimp
a sissy
and when most men see what they want and it is flashing green like a disco light they have it in them to plunge themselves in.

If you date him and marry him, my dear you will take all the decisions and wear the trouser for as long as you are together, be patient , wear your tightest jeans, be very sweet and girly, a woman does not need more than being a feminine woman to get a man who likes her.

The moment you ask him out your attraction in his eyes will diminish.

All in all good luck with the decision you take

Boyloaf:

u took these words out of my mouth. I dnt knw wat others r blabbin abt.

Boyloaf:

u took these words out of my mouth. I dnt knw wat others r blabbin abt.

horny4u:

I beg to differ with the ask him out, when you ask him today ,

are you ready to propose to him tomorrow
are you ready to pay his groom price
are you ready to ask him for sex
are you ready to provide and protect him
are you ready to take "I am sorry but you are like a sister t me"

Women are not helpless but subtle.
Seducing does not mean drop your gstring ,

it means act feminine around him ,
Laugh at his jokes in a girly way,
Use the power of body language,
Admire his muscles,
Cook for him ,
wink at him,
touch him playfully,
Adjust his tie,

If all of the above fails , then he doesnot fancy you as a girlfriend,

A man may be shy but he is not
a wimp
a sissy
and when most men see what they want and it is flashing green like a disco light they have it in them to plunge themselves in.

If you date him and marry him, my dear you will take all the decisions and wear the trouser for as long as you are together, be patient , wear your tightest jeans, be very sweet and girly, a woman does not need more than being a feminine woman to get a man who likes her.

The moment you ask him out your attraction in his eyes will diminish.

All in all good luck with the decision you take

Boyloaf:

u took these words out of my mouth. I dnt knw wat others r blabbin abt.

Hey Boy! So other people's comment is now blabbing? Huh? Did you say so when we also commented on your thread when you came on here for advice? You must have a very short unenviable memory then! One advice bro! QUIT typing with your arse! I mean this in a good way!