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How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? - Family - Nairaland

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How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Nobody: 6:32pm On May 16, 2023
Is like I'm in a sound prof house shouting on top of my voice and no one is hearing me. It seems they don't even understand what I'm going through.

I explained everything to my family and everyone including my mother, and they keep advicing me to stand on my feet and fight for my home, so long as they's no violence. That I shouldn't divorce my husband.
We always have heated argument, raising voice at each other.

My mother inlaw on the other hand, was crying on the phone. Telling me not to mention that name (divorce) ever again.
All the family members are not in support of divorce, but the main person I'm married to seems not to care at all.


He obviously refused to stop gambling away with any money that comes to his hand.
He presently have no job and he's owning a lot.

He's addicted and he's not making effort to stop. This is the root problem in my home. Because he exhibit all the wrong behavior as a result of this addiction.
Once he have any little money, his attitude, everything changed. He becomes scary. Until he finishes everything in betting, I wouldn't be able to talk to him and he will listen.

What should I do? Where do I go that I wouldn't look like a disobedient person, dispite everyone's pleade?
I'm using all my time to cry, qurrel and grieve here. Can't find myself.
I am not financially stable to make a move without my family's support.

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Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Keep2gether(f): 6:38pm On May 16, 2023
:I sad

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by destiny4luv(m): 6:41pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:
Is like I'm in a sound prof house shouting on top of my voice and no one is hearing me. It seems they don't even understand what I'm going through.

I explained everything to my family and everyone including my mother, and they keep advicing me to stand on my feet and fight for my home, so long as they's no violence. That I shouldn't divorce my husband.
We always have heated argument, raising voice at each other.

My mother inlaw on the other hand, was crying on the phone. Telling me not to mention that name (divorce) ever again.
All the family members are not in support of divorce, but the main person I'm married to seems not to care at all.


He obviously refused to stop gambling away with any money that comes to his hand.
He presently have no job and he's owning a lot.

He's addicted and he's not making effort to stop. This is the root problem in my home. Because he exhibit all the wrong behavior as a result of this addiction.
Once he have any little money, his attitude, everything changed. He becomes scary. Until he finishes everything in betting, I wouldn't be able to talk to him and he will listen.

What should I do? Where do I go that I wouldn't look like a disobedient person, dispite everyone's pleade?
I'm using all my time to cry, qurrel and grieve here. Can't find myself.
I am not financially stable to make a move without my family's support.


Sorry for ur present predicament, well I was once a strong victim of gambling, my wife and I always have strong misunderstanding in that regard, but my wife on the other hand instead of arguing always she puts everything in prayers and find ways to talk to me in the most polite way. I didn't quit all of a sudden it was a gradual process. Though to be sincere I play game once in a while but not an addict anymore, just for fun. Adopt same and stop fighting him. All the best.

278 Likes 11 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Oloki: 6:51pm On May 16, 2023
destiny4luv:


Sorry for ur present predicament, well I was once a strong victim of gambling, my wife and I always have strong misunderstanding in that regard, but my wife on the other hand instead of arguing always she puts everything in prayers and find ways to talk to me in the most polite way. I didn't quit all of a sudden it was a gradual process. Though to be sincere I play game once in a while but not an addict anymore, just for fun. Adopt same and stop fighting him. All the best.


Take this advice madam. It might work for you.
Everything is not about quarreling and raising voices. Even though he is a broken guy presently, but the pride that's inbuilt in a man is in him. He might feel insulted by your attitudes

149 Likes 9 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Nobody: 7:07pm On May 16, 2023
Oloki:



Take this advice madam. It might work for you
Everything is not about quarreling and raising voices. Even though he is a broken guy presently, but the pride that's inbuilt inan is in him. He might feel insulted by your attitudes
He really does annoying things. How can a grown man gamble away with all he has and return home empty expecting food to eat from his wife and little baby whom he left without anything?
My attitude has nothing to do here. What I tolerant, even you can not withstanding it.

Yesterday was the very first time I really insulted him. It was very annoying but I later regretted it though.

75 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Nobody: 7:12pm On May 16, 2023
destiny4luv:


Sorry for ur present predicament, well I was once a strong victim of gambling, my wife and I always have strong misunderstanding in that regard, but my wife on the other hand instead of arguing always she puts everything in prayers and find ways to talk to me in the most polite way. I didn't quit all of a sudden it was a gradual process. Though to be sincere I play game once in a while but not an addict anymore, just for fun. Adopt same and stop fighting him. All the best.
I have prayed about it, I have calmly talked to him. I have cried severally on his shoulder and he promised to stop, I have shouted, done everything, but he's not willing to let go.

22 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Kobojunkie: 7:17pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:
■ Is like I'm in a sound prof house shouting on top of my voice and no one is hearing me. It seems they don't even understand what I'm going through. I explained everything to my family and everyone including my mother, and they keep advicing me to stand on my feet and fight for my home, so long as they's no violence. That I shouldn't divorce my husband.
We always have heated argument, raising voice at each other. My mother inlaw on the other hand, was crying on the phone. Telling me not to mention that name (divorce) ever again. All the family members are not in support of divorce, but the main person I'm married to seems not to care at all. He obviously refused to stop gambling away with any money that comes to his hand. He presently have no job and he's owning a lot. He's addicted and he's not making effort to stop. This is the root problem in my home. Because he exhibit all the wrong behavior as a result of this addiction. Once he have any little money, his attitude, everything changed. He becomes scary. Until he finishes everything in betting, I wouldn't be able to talk to him and he will listen.
■ What should I do? Where do I go that I wouldn't look like a disobedient person, dispite everyone's pleade? I'm using all my time to cry, qurrel and grieve here. Can't find myself.
■ I am not financially stable to make a move without my family's support.
1. Why come on here to ask us what we think if at the end of the day, you don't get to decide what to do next with your own life — you leave it to others to decide for you? Since that is what you wish to do, then wholeheartedly embrace the shit that you are in jor! undecided

2. Since even as a grown-up you own others an explanation as far as how you do your own life, what can you do? Keep crying and waiting for something magical to happen. undecided

3. Commonsense in that would be to go find a job or any way to begin bringing in the income you need. undecided

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by garriAndsugar: 7:17pm On May 16, 2023
Did you know he was gambling before marriage or he was winning then you didn't notice

58 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by eniolorunfe: 7:22pm On May 16, 2023
Why are you waiting for people to help you decide what to do?

Is it not the one wearing the shoes that knows where it pinches?

God will not do for you what you can do for yourself.

9 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Oloki: 7:22pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:
He really does annoying things. How can a grown man gamble away with all he has and return home empty expecting food to eat from his wife and little baby whom he left without anything?
My attitude has nothing to do here. What I tolerant, even you can not withstanding it.

Yesterday was the very first time I really insulted him. It was very annoying but I later regretted it though.


I know it can be tiring dealing with a hubby that's out of control, but two wrong don't make it right. People encouraging you to stay might see what you are not seeing maybe like village people at work. Like the man l quoted said, if you love him, you pray for him. Is not every time we should be looking for easy way out. There is a price to every achievement.

16 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by destiny4luv(m): 7:23pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:
I have prayed about it, I have calmly talked to him. I have cried severally on his shoulder and he promised to stop, I have shouted, done everything, but he's not willing to let go.

Don't stop praying, keep praying. Nothing is impossible with God. Peace.

14 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Kobojunkie: 7:28pm On May 16, 2023
destiny4luv:
Don't stop praying, keep praying. Nothing is impossible with God. Peace.
Praying to whom exactly? Are you kidding? undecided

You see, Scripture states that God does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the pleas and requests and every petition, praise, offering, work, plea, sacrifice, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins(disobedience/unholiness) and are hence an abomination to God. So, what is definite is that even your many pleas for the forgiveness of sins are not answered by God given that God made no special exemptions for that kind of plea. No amount of praying can cause God to change His mind regarding that which concerns the unrighteous by the way. So if you are thinking of prescribing more prayers that only means you really don't understand or know God at all. undecided

God, however, openly bragged about how He only answers the prayers of the righteous; He delights in granting them the desires of their heart meaning that they are those who are loved by Him. For this very reason, Jesus Christ urged His followers to seek first the Kingdom of God and God's Righteousness in order that all things— the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(holiness), answers to prayers included—shall be added on to them. And as Jesus Christ explained in His Gospel, the only way to become Holy, and then also Righteous, is by way of continuous submission and obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, god's Truth and Law in the Kingdom of god - John 8 vs 31 - 36 & John 14 vs 15 - 23. Jesus Christ is the only way. Obedience to the Truth of God is the one and only path to righteousness. No amount of praying and other religious rituals can accomplish that. undecided

God deals indirectly with the unrighteous, the same way He deals with the unbelievers including the wicked and the ungrateful and that is by pouring out His mercy and kindness on them daily. So every time as an unrighteous you feel that God has answered your prayer know that at that same moment, or moments before that, God also provided the same mercy or similar to someone else across the world — or maybe just across from you— who does not even believe in God, nor asked God for anything. So, if answers from God are what you seek, then do what Jesus Christ said you should, which is to seek first the Kingdom of God(holiness), and then God's righteousness, in order that all these things —the blessings and rewards of the Kingdom of God(including answers to prayers) can be added to you. undecided

Magic has a better chance of happening to her than God hearing her prayer. She needs to get off her arse and move for the sake of her own life and future. undecided

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by eniolorunfe: 7:40pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:


Yesterday was the very first time I really insulted him. It was very annoying but I later regretted it though.

This is how domestic violence starts o. At this rate, you better move out to your family home or to a friend’s place or better still get your own place to avoid stories that touches.

Gambling as an addiction requires psychiatric treatment / therapy. It is not something you or the person can just wish away. The person has to be willing to seek care.

24 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Nobody: 8:06pm On May 16, 2023
eniolorunfe:
Why are you waiting for people to help you decide what to do?

Is it not the one wearing the shoes that knows where it pinches?

God will not do for you what you can do for yourself.
I don't know where to start.
Since he gambles away with my business capital, since I put to birth, I have not been able to raise reasonable amount of money to stand well.

6 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by rooftops: 8:09pm On May 16, 2023
My only advise to you right now is do everything within your power to put hold on child bearing so that if he doesn't change and you want to leave there will be less baggage.
How people don't get you can't beat this bet companies is what I don't get.
Every new season, there is always a new bet company sponsoring premier league on dstv, that is to show how much money those guys get. grin

44 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Houseofglam7(f): 8:19pm On May 16, 2023
Random people on the internet should tell you what to do with a chronic gambler
Okay 👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯👩🏽‍🦯

1 Like

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Exmilitant(m): 8:26pm On May 16, 2023
Come marry me, I only play bet9ja. grin

Well Lady, there is no flawless man out there so, just get off your ass and get a job to Carter for yourself and your child.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Octopusssy(f): 8:35pm On May 16, 2023
Keep fighting. Anthonia Joshua. Isreala Adesanya

5 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Skyfornia(m): 8:37pm On May 16, 2023
If you have done enough and he doesn't want to change..join him. They said if you can't beat them, then join them.

Locate his popular betting spot and meet him there, as he is staking games, stake your own too. Two of you will join hand and go home empty after loosing..he won't expect you to prepare food at home since both of you went to work gamble at the betting shop..

You will sleep with empty stomachs, but make sure your baby dey chop.

Na the man go use him hand begin advice you say make una stop.

No be only him sabi madd

160 Likes 12 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Omihanifa: 8:37pm On May 16, 2023
grin grin grin cheesy grin
Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by xpressionx(m): 8:38pm On May 16, 2023
Gambling is as dangerous as taking hard substance,once you're hooked you are hooked.

I know a guy that sold his car to gamble.

Only God can save you.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by ChizzyBuna(m): 8:38pm On May 16, 2023
Tell him to play Ac Milan vs Inter over 2.5
And thank me later..

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by labake1(f): 8:38pm On May 16, 2023
God knows I hate men who gamble, smoke and drinks

5 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Cassandraloius: 8:39pm On May 16, 2023
Just get a job yourself and take care of you and your kids, before you loose your sanity.

4 Likes

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Billionaire2: 8:39pm On May 16, 2023
.
Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Nice2023(m): 8:40pm On May 16, 2023
Hmm
Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by b0rn2fuck(m): 8:40pm On May 16, 2023
Gambling and addiction leads to depression

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by Faposky95: 8:40pm On May 16, 2023
Dearlove2me:
He really does annoying things. How can a grown man gamble away with all he has and return home empty expecting food to eat from his wife and little baby whom he left without anything?
My attitude has nothing to do here. What I tolerant, even you can not withstanding it.

Yesterday was the very first time I really insulted him. It was very annoying but I later regretted it though.

...now it's the food....?!
Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by GRACEGLORY: 8:41pm On May 16, 2023
A serious, harmful addiction.
The gambler's fallacy, also called the Monte Carlo fallacy, is when someone thinks that the outcome of a prior event or series of events will determine how probable an upcoming random event is to occur.

Now that he's a sucker...
Without blaming, tell him how his gambling is impacting others.
Urge your husband to get professional help.
Do not make threats.


I was once a gambler.

Gambling addictions can, and most often do, negatively impact marriage.

1 Like

Re: How Am I Suppose To Fight For My Home Here? by mrblessed(m): 8:41pm On May 16, 2023
Some people dey blow or get blown by gambling. Maybe him go be among the first.

4 Likes 3 Shares

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