This one don dey fear say marriage no go let her continue the ashawo work wey she dey do abroad, she don dey fyn divorce.

Madam, go continue your ashi work and allow the guy get paper wey him dey fyn.

If na Davido wey dey change women like boxer and drinks, you go come here dey brag like this?

Yugoslavia247:


Alcohol wey obi Cubana dey take 247.

God please I will never be poor.

Poor man no deybev

Hahahahaha


Alcohol weh Wike de use rinse his mouth first thing in the morning and use the remaining to brush his teeth



Indian hemp aka Igbo weh Ebola Tinubu de use wake Remi for bed after downing some original shekpe



Original Kaikai aka Sapele water weh Brother Goodluck Jonathan de use as first morning water



Poverty they said is a big bastard.



Op you are not acting alone dear, its always like that for at least 99.99% of black women; they despise any man that is below them financially, especially as a spouse or even boyfriend, no be your fault, na nature cause am

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

Be a good human being, since you have made up your mind to divorce him, please don't be too wicked and inhumane towards him, at least remember the few moments you two had fun and said I love you, and made some good promises to each other. Just for the sake of those few good times or moment, show him some mercy by helping him financially because I am sure he will be stranded, confused and lost with the news of you wanting to divorce him.


Give him a good cash gift to help him kickstart his life since you made him leave the Asian country he was managing his life illegally, and now he can't go back, so he is stuck in Nigeria now all because of you.



Whatever I am telling you is what I would do if I am in your shoes and what I would advice my own blood sister or relative to do if they were in your shoes.


Kindly raise some good capital for him to start his life in Nigeria as you plan the divorce. Don't just divorce and abandon him, he may do and undo cos he is completely stranded and hopeless if you divorce him after he exited the Asian country, and he can plan or plot any degree of evil against you.



Anybody that tells you there is no supernatural power is deceiving you.



In this life, if you want to live long and happy with less issues, make sure you reduce the number of your enemies to zero if possible

Madam tell us your own bad sides too. Women play victim a lot.

olril17:

She doesn’t.

Oh good.

I was told by a lawyer that the complainant has to be on ground for a divorce case to be heard by a judge.

olril17:

I am.

IOC.

Exceed15:
Madam tell us your own bad sides too. Women play victim a lot.

Not saying I am perfect either.
Issues like I should cook for him and I tell him I can’t cook every day, I cook in fridge and he can serve him self. And I complain that he should watch his weight.
Or I get angry when he wakes me in the middle of night to go cook for him and I always say I have to get to work in the morning and he starts argument that I don’t respect him. He is not the worst but his bad side over shadows the good part of him.

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

I TAKE ALCOHOL YET I'M THE BEST GUY ANY LADY CAN WISH FOR, ALCOHOL IS NOT BAD HENCE THE TAKER DOESN'T HAVE A SHALLOW BRAIN...I TAKE UPTO 8BOTTLES OF HERO AND I WILL STILL BE IN MY NORMAL STATE OF MIND

YOUR FEAR IS TO KNOW IF HE IS INTO DRUGS

BUT MEHN TAKE THAT DUDE ABROAD

I don't know why y'all are crucifying this lady, I can bet my left ball that if she was your sister, it's you same people that would even advise her to go ahead with it.

To the op, you fumbled and you've admitted yourself, so no need tongue-lashing(or should I say finger-lash) you again. If everything you wrote above are just the way it happened, please leave that man and the best you can do is compensate him in your own little way that will not strain you financially.

If you were my sister, you wouldn't even marry him to start with, so whatever you want to do, please put yourself first no matter whom gets affected.
And always remember one thing, that no matter what you do, you can't please everyone! Even Almighty God didn't please everyone, so who are you to try pleasing people while exposing yourself to being disadvantaged.

In 2016 you made a post telling women to waste a guys time. 7 years later you have wasted a guys time. Prophetic eh!

My own advice is to guys, do not follow a woman’s plans without thoroughly analyzing it. Women will make plans on the whim, no consideration of the future or external factors then back out leaving you pants down, with your D in your hand.

Before you marry her at her request, buy a home together, move in together, have kids or any other big life decisions, make sure you analyze the worst case scenario. That man should have never left Asia just because a woman told him to.

slimzypink:
So quick one, I will try not to make it long.
I was living in an Asian country and I met a Nigerian . I had a very good job, apparently I got a better offer to another country. But then I was seeing this guy . He proposed marriage i was a bit held back as I wasn’t so sure of it. Anyways his parents came to mine in Nigeria and we did a kind of online trad wedding. I moved without him to my new country. While he was left back in Asia. Told him he would have to come to Nigeria so we do court marriage then I can apply for him to join me.

The issue now is that before he came to Nigeria as I was coming for a short visit, I broke up and said I don’t want to do the court marriage . But he insisted his family kept begging and I stupidly agreed.

There have been so many red flags that made me scared

1-he drinks a lot and I have tried to caution him . He said he changed
2-he was illegal in the Asian country for over 6 years making it seem like he is using me for visa purposes
3- his anger issues is top notch and it seems I really can’t control his anger
4- he has nothing doing just anywhere hustle is he does , no focus . all he has is big dreams and he said I should take a loan for his dreams.
5. Told him that if he eventually moves in with me he must work. But I am scared that the lazy attitude he had will still be there . And for some reasons he always attacks me that I am proud cause I have a good job.
Now I am not looking down on him to be Honest. I can be with a man who I am higher than but he should show prospect of wanting to be better than me or at least prospect of wanting to work.

Now he has been illegal in Asia for years so he never left cause he had no papers but because of the court marriage he took the leap and left. During the court marriage on the the day I said I couldn’t go on with it.all my friends that knew him said I shouldn’t go on with it . And he begged and begged. Felt bad for him and I agreed. At least so I take him out of naija back



I went back to my work and he is left in Nigeria just for me to process his papers . But I am having those fears again. That I made a big mistake. My brother met him and the first thing he went doing was going to buy alcohol about 33% own and he downed it in front of my brother he was just meeting the first time . Even on the day of the counselling at regristry the lady there was saying your husband is not patient and all. So I am in a dilemma

I want to look for a way out . How do I divorce him. I fear he will not give me the divorce. Court marriage is barely 2 months as well.

Admin please don’t take this to front page

Well, I monetize my advice these days. If you're ready to pay for premium advice, let me know.

SavageResponse:


Oga abeg hang that your God hates divorce horseshit!

Marriage is not a do-or-die affair

The guy in question here is an alcoholic and he also has potential for violence.

Would you advise your own sister to still remain in such a union because "God hates divorce"?

First we have heard her own part of the story but we have not heard his, second, I am a Christian and I am talking from that point of view, our Jesus when his disciples told him that this law is hash told them that it's not for everyone but for them that will keep it, apparently, you will be incapable of keeping it because you are not among THOSE for whom it's meant to keep that law, I don't expect everyone to be comfortable with the truth, ONLY those with the spirit of truth will be comfortable with the truth, BTW if my sister is in that type of situation, what I say here is what I will tell her and it will be left for her to accept or not,
I DID say that people go into marriage with the wrongest motives these days and that's the cause of these issues,
You can't stop the word of God from coming out, the only thing you can do is not accept and it's your personal business, no one prays to be in the position of the person involved, but when it happens, you take responsibility and try to make it work and you do that by first adjusting your expectations and accept that everyone must not be like you, aren't there things that she saw before entering into that union? If she wasn't capable of seeing all this things she thinks she is seeing now, what guarantee does she have the she is seeing correctly this time?
Marriage is for better and for worse I don't know about do or die, people should marry who they love, if this person loves that her husband, we will not be hearing this no matter what they are doing, that's more of my point.
You are the one who needs to hang whatever it is you have

slimzypink:


Tbh I know this , i wish I can see the future and know that he will not stress me . Yes he can be sweet if he wants to, but the anger issues is really crazy. I am the only one that can calm him down. I fear he will turn on me if we have like big issues. He has said if anybody does what I did to him to his sister he will kill the person. So this are just statements but it makes me get scared that this guy is only hiding is true self to get what he wants . I am stressed.

You can see the future through the word of God, I do understand your fear sort of but I do know that there is no problem without a solution and that even a mad person has a friend, I believe that if there is love I'm the union, that it will work out well but the thing here is that from the way I look at it, you don't love this person any more, but what you don't also know now is who you are going to end up with again, there is practically no guarantee that he will fare better, any person can hide who they are to get certain things and who they really are must eventually show up, I am also talking about your spiritual wellbeing because we must give God account one day, we are all saying what we think are the right thing here but none of us here will represent you in the presence of God on the judgement day and you cannot tell Jesus that someone told you to disobey God, I don't know what you believe in but there are religious groups who believe in divorce and they are here and will only encourage you to drop your husband, is that who you are?
At the end of the day, the final decision will be yours, all I am saying is that you should maybe readjust some of your expectations knowing that everyone is not the same and ask God sincerely what to do and how to go about it, anyone being controlled by the devil will only give you a devil inspired advice and that's most of what you are going to get here

mbaise1000:
I think that you want out of the marriage but is looking for a good reason to do it, anyways, if you are still claiming to be a Christian wvlhich I believe you are not, you should be aware that God hates divorce, the condition God gave for divorce wasn't mentioned by you in your little epistle, if you want him to leave by himself, you will still be commitng adultry if you marry another, I don't believe that there is anyone that is 100% bad, you are not 100% good too, there must be some ways that your husband is good, concentrate on those parts and develop them more, and you will see reason to accept your husband back, when all you are looking in a person is faults, you are certainly going to see them and if you don't see, you will develop faults in the person and believe it, when you married this person, you did not ask for our advice, why do you need our advice now to divorce him? People like me don't support what God hates, you have married this person, whether it's internet marriage or audio marriage or marriage in absentia, it's legsl in the face of God, people went into marriage for all the wrong reasons these days and will start crying foul after a few days, none if your reasons is good enough to leave that marriage, just make it work, impossible is nothing.
Don't be listening to people who don't have respect for the marriage institution or their spouses

Na bcuz of idiots like you people dey die for marriage
To slap you dey hungry me
Aje!!!!?

slimzypink:

Not saying I am perfect either.
Issues like I should cook for him and I tell him I can’t cook every day, I cook in fridge and he can serve him self. And I complain that he should watch his weight.
Or I get angry when he wakes me in the middle of night to go cook for him and I always say I have to get to work in the morning and he starts argument that I don’t respect him. He is not the worst but his bad side over shadows the good part of him.

Toor.. you wear the shoe and know exact where it pinches. Weigh this issue well and make your decision. If it Worth letting go my sister, do it because your sanity is most important here . Good luck

Me i know say this story is not clear' maybe she don get another alternative over there so she have to blackmail him for divorce to do what she want to do...

Exceed15:
Madam tell us your own bad sides too. Women play victim a lot.

007kjb:



I TAKE ALCOHOL YET I'M THE BEST GUY ANY LADY CAN WISH FOR, ALCOHOL IS NOT BAD HENCE THE TAKER DOESN'T HAVE A SHALLOW BRAIN...I TAKE UPTO 8BOTTLES OF HERO AND I WILL STILL BE IN MY NORMAL STATE OF MIND

YOUR FEAR IS TO KNOW IF HE IS INTO DRUGS

BUT MEHN TAKE THAT DUDE ABROAD

Rip in advance 😎
Cos na liver cancer or liver disease go kill you.
Anyway something must kill a man sha

[quote author=Levels1 post=125368332]I will advise you on the steps to take and if you make use of it , certainly you have done yourself, and families a great favor.

You said he's at Asian for years and couldn't come back home because he has no papers.

But you agreed to do wedding with him to relocate abroad hence you suggest he comes back to Nigeria for that.

He's back in Nigeria and still continue with is bad attitude and as such you are thinking on how to divorce him.

You claim he once said he's going to bring you down right? And people are telling you to block ties with him blablabla.....

Note

You ruined his life for bringing him back to Nigeria and making him stranded, bitter pills to swallow and stop saying he's the one owning you as what he is loosing right now is more than your lost, i.e money.

He will do exactly he promised to do by bringing you down directly or indirectly, i.e your families are not safe and could be a victim of your deed.

If you happens to be my blood sister this is what I will suggest

1. Explain everything to your parents.

2. Tell them you are scared of your life and future and even theirs.

3. Send them to his family for possible dissolution and as such you will have to pathways with some money to assist him move back to Asian or anywhere outside Nigeria with this, he can easily let go.

NOTE

He must have signed the divorce papers before payment just to be at safe side.

And anything aside from my suggestion, then I will advise you move your families away from Nigeria because you already ruined his life according to what will be on his mind as you trick him to relocate back home and will pay you back hurting your loved ones even you won't be safe coming back home for anything or events.

PEACE




If I were in your shoe, this will be my best option from all advice given, the guilt of bringing him back to this present Nigeria will not let me rest.

slimzypink:


Tbh I know this , i wish I can see the future and know that he will not stress me . Yes he can be sweet if he wants to, but the anger issues is really crazy. I am the only one that can calm him down. I fear he will turn on me if we have like big issues. He has said if anybody does what I did to him to his sister he will kill the person. So this are just statements but it makes me get scared that this guy is only hiding is true self to get what he wants . I am stressed.

And you still want to marry such a person?!

You're a very stubborn woman. If you were my sister, I will cut you off from the family's Will and disown you.

slimzypink:
I have a 23yr old best friend that has never been asked out. Like no guy has ever approached her, and she's so fine. Sigh, I don't even understand anymore

Apparently, OP is 31. Now, I see your desperation to get married kini kon change him yen yen yen.

YoshihideSuga:


And you still want to marry such a person?!

You're a very stubborn woman. If you were my sister, I will cut you off from the family's Will and disown you.

I am leaving for my peace

Yugoslavia247:


Alcohol wey obi Cubana dey take 247.

God please I will never be poor.

Poor man no dey ever do the right thing.

The same alcohol wey wike dey spend millionz to drink.

God have mercy on me.

Forgive and take poverty away from my life and forevermore.

If you don't want to marry the man.
Don't marry
Emotional blackmail na bad thing
Marry your standard
Marry person wey get job.
Because no be tomorrow you go write epistle of how he doesn't do anything as a husband
If you can not cope with a lazy man then so be it. Leave him.
Family will not live with you.
Besides why do you say he has no focus.
Why have you not supported his dream.

Well na u know

All what you've written here is pure bullshit, when did alcohol become a sign of wealth??
If the OP wasn't comfortable with the man, why did she foolishly agree to go ahead with the court wedding for whatever reason??
That is the bone if contention here, or you think everyone wants to get married to an alcohol sinkhole??
What if it's your wife that's exhibiting this same type of behaviour, is this the trash that you would have written. Learn to tackle issues without being biased. Jezz.

slimzypink:


Not desperation. In my head he will change but he is not, and we had an issue and he said he will make sure he brings me down at my work place cause I am proud. Though he said he said it out of anger . This word is strong hence I am scared if I bring him in because I feel pity he is in Nigeria he would go ahead with his plan someday

Omo, you're in for one hell of a ride o. Somebody said something of this magnitude to you out of anger and you still dey mumu to go ahead with a marriage to that same person. Recipe for suicide.
I pray you find a way out of this mess that you've put yourself o, cos what is that. 🤦🤦

For the umpteenth time, you cannot change anyone that doesn't want to be changed. You're not anybody's maker/creator. You saw clear signs of toxicity/incompatibility with your partner and you went ahead and got married to him using this flimsy excuse of he will change. OYO.

[quote author=honniemail post=125382496][/quote]


Is not even about the guilty of letting one REST but she wasting and running her future

Since I'm already useless and down, I have nothing to loss again as she already made my greatest fear happens to me... What's the point in her existing again in life?

But if I'm the man, certainly she will loss everything precious to her , family, friends and she should better stay away also.

You can't ruined my life and have yours intact. It doesn't work like that.

slimzypink:

Nope he owes me instead. Gave him some money about 1.6million so he comes back to naija but he said the agent that will procure his travel docs back to naija scammed him and that was how my money went . I am not even asking for that money back . I am just scared of him after saying he will bring me down. No matter the anger that statement is deep rooted to say to someone.

You don't need a drunkard and a liar as a husband. RUN for your life. You will regret.

Dybala11:

All what you've written here is pure bullshit, when did alcohol become a sign of wealth??
If the OP wasn't comfortable with the man, why did she foolishly agree to go ahead with the court wedding for whatever reason??
That is the bone if contention here, or you think everyone wants to get married to an alcohol sinkhole??
What if it's your wife that's exhibiting this same type of behaviour, is this the trash that you would have written. Learn to tackle issues without being biased. Jezz.

You can make your point without looking at my point.

You are just a typical evil hearted Nigerian woman, when a man is richer you will pretend to love and adore him, his wealth will belong to two of you, but if a woman a richer , the man will a holligan and good for nothing fool. Any thing he does will be bad, you will regret your wickedness to that innocent man. Someday he will he richer than your evil self.

Yugoslavia247:


You can make your point without looking at my point.

Tor, no vex then.
But not everyone likes alcohol or wants to get married to a partner that drinks or abuses alcohol.
I for one don't drink alcohol and can't get married to a partner that drinks. It's just a passional preference, drinking alcohol is not a measure of wealth. There are wealthy men that drinks alcohol, and there some that doesn't drink alcohol. I'm far from being in the wealthy class, but I certainly won't say that the reason I'm not yet wealthy is because I don't drink. Have a lovely night bro.

Dybala11:

Tor, no vex then.
But not everyone likes alcohol or wants to get married to a partner that drinks or abuses alcohol.
I for one don't drink alcohol and can't get married to a partner that drinks. It's just a passional preference, drinking alcohol is not a measure of wealth. There are wealthy men that drinks alcohol, and there some that doesn't drink alcohol. I'm far from being in the wealthy class, but I certainly won't say that the reason I'm not yet wealthy is because I don't drink. Have a lovely night bro.

Okay.

I hear you.

A good man is a good man. Alcohol or not.

Yugoslavia247:


Okay.

I hear you.

A good man is a good man. Alcohol or not.

Might be true sha, but we all have our personal preferences o. Did you read the part where OP said that the husband lacks patience and is quarrelsome??
Those are red flags too. Everyone gets angry from time to time no doubt, but when a man or a woman is quarrelsome every time, that's a strong indication that trouble is looming o.

Dybala11:

Might be true sha, but we all have our personal preferences o. Did you read the part where OP said that the husband lacks patience and is quarrelsome??
Those are red flags too. Everyone gets angry from time to time no doubt, but when a man or a woman is quarrelsome every time, that's a strong indication that trouble is looming o.

Everyone is perfect until you hear the other side then the truth