TimT:

What exactly are u on about?
My own wife? Our house? So it's now a crime for her to pay the rent? Or pay our kids school fees? Will the marriage end?? Because of expenses?
Better marry who u both understand eachother oo... if not you no go value Ur Spouse... Coz Ur point I no understand

How many years have you been married?. Anyway it an advice, you can either take it or leave it. Ire oo

HopeSpencer:
At a time when we just spent 4months out of 1 year rent, my wife asked me that we should move out because she fought with a co-tenant and said she didn't want to set eyes on the co-tenant again. I said I wasn't prepared for this as I needed time to gather money for next year rent. She offered to drop money from her savings. We got a new apartment. And she became my boss. Come and see humiliation. I wept on several occasions because I'm not a type of person that engages in physical fight. I don't even use abusive words. Whatever I say on nairaland is just catching cruise. I looked for money and rented a room. I didn't move out my things like chairs, bed etc because my daughter needs them. I left forever.

She told relatives that I left our home and never looked back. Relatives reminded her that she told them she was the one paying all bills since the beginning and that she should thank God that the burden was removed. That's when I got to know about the lie that she was the one paying bills. In my next life, I will prefer to be a gay. .

Were you and your wife both sharing the bills from the beginning before this happened?

PaulNwosu:


Be like na this bros dey give Obaseki advice. No Deputy for your dictionary.

😂😂😂

zoghys:


How many years have you been married?. Anyway it an advice, you can either take it or leave it. Ire oo

You that is married for long, and you don't trust and understand your wife, I don't think I want such marriage...
I'll be fine.. thanks

Stupid advice. Let everyone grow in the fear of God Almighty and all this is bullshit.

TimT:
Why? Is it not money she is using? Why degrading women?
Some men just carry empty head and call it brain...
Is it a crime let a married woman pay house rent?
Is it not thesame house they both stay?
So if something happens that the man cannot afford the rent, the woman will sit back and wait for what landlord will do, knowing full well that she has the money to pay?
Or if she is willing to pay, masculine pride shouldn't allow me to agree!!!
We so much hold high esteem of ourselves about marriages yet many are living in bondage...
You all are saying women shouldn't pay rent or feed the man, yet you all are saying "a woman who can't bring anything to the table isn't worth been married to"...
Confusion left and right...
No worry, just allow pride Nd ego allow landlord pack Ur bag throw ..

it's a serious crime to allow woman to pay Rent you hear me. 99% of women will insult that man before 6months. And it will lead to that marriage collapse.

zoghys:


Do let your wife pay your rent or your kids school fees no matter what. A word is enough for the wise.

Sk5050:
The day your wife pays the rent you've definitely loss respect as man though it depends on the kind of woman you have as a spouse. But bro no matter what try to afford your rent because a woman's mouth is sharpener than a razor. May God not put us on a tight corner to expirience the negative effects 🤷‍♀️

HopeSpencer:
At a time when we just spent 4months out of 1 year rent, my wife asked me that we should move out because she fought with a co-tenant and said she didn't want to set eyes on the co-tenant again. I said I wasn't prepared for this as I needed time to gather money for next year rent. She offered to drop money from her savings. We got a new apartment. And she became my boss. Come and see humiliation. I wept on several occasions because I'm not a type of person that engages in physical fight. I don't even use abusive words. Whatever I say on nairaland is just catching cruise.

I looked for money and rented a room. I didn't move out my things like chairs, bed etc because my daughter needs them. I left forever.

She told relatives that I left our home and never looked back. Relatives reminded her that she told them she was the one paying all bills since the beginning and that she should thank God that the burden was removed. That's when I got to know about the lie that she was the one paying bills.

In my next life, I will prefer to be a gay.

.

Lol. My late dad of blessed memory experienced this when i was a kid. Mom paid my school fees for just a term coz dad was going through financial troubles. When they had disagreement, she started telling everybody that she has been the one paying my fees and catering for me since I was born. Infact she sugar coated the whole story to make it look like my father was an irresponsible man. My papa shock no be small. even me self I shock because I knew she was lying.

Never allow your wife pay rent or build the house in which you're living.

Never you buy any form of property together.

In future , she'll use these things against you.

Forget it, don't think your wife is the best because she is footing some of the bills, when there is disagreement, she will use it against you. You know women, they are good at sugarcoating stories and playing the victims card. They know how to twist stories to make it look like you were the devil.

A word is enough for .......

Nursepepeye:
it's a serious crime to allow woman to pay Rent you hear me. 99% of women will insult that man before 6months. And it will lead to that marriage collapse.

When you marry a woman and not a wife, yes. When you marry a wife and your circumstances is open to both of you, if she has it she pays.

Nursepepeye:
it's a serious crime to allow woman to pay Rent you hear me. 99% of women will insult that man before 6months. And it will lead to that marriage collapse.

That's lie... a very big lie... you can see why I advocate for people to marry someone who loves them..
When someone loves you, the Person will do and over do for you...
Na woman wey no love the husband go dey change am for house for am...
So if 99% of woman insult a man after she pays the rent, the none of them loves the man.. they are just cohabiting... and that's not marriage...
So whether she pays rent or not, one way or the other, her behaviour will still show...

KingAzubuike:


Lol. My late dad of blessed memory experienced this when i was a kid. Mom paid my school fees for just a term coz dad was going through financial troubles. When they had disagreement, she started telling everybody that she has been the one paying my fees and catering for me since I was born. Infact she sugar coated the whole story to make it look like my father was an irresponsible man. My papa shock no be small. even me self I shock because I knew she was lying.

Never allow your wife pay rent or build the house in which you're living.

Never you buy any form of property together.

In future , she'll use these things against you.

A word is enough for .......

A good deed remains a good deed. If your mother is a pathetic liar, do not generalize.

Tallesty1:
My marriage is 50- 50. We split everything down to light bill.

Even if thieves come to our house, two of us will go get the door because there is no head in the marriage. We equal like that.

I am a feminist.

Y'all should be

You this man

Bluffly:

A good deed remains a good deed. If your mother is a pathetic liar, do not generalize.

You're still a kid, you won't understand. Continue allowing your wife pay rent or school fees. The day yuu have little misunderstanding is the day the whole world will know you're an irresponsible man who contributes nothing to his family.

So if he doesn’t have money and you have nko

Kobojunkie:
Were your wife both sharing the bills from the beginning before this happened?

She knew my income could not sustain marriage and she said we must not wait any further saying that with my small income, I was better than a lot of families with children. When we got married, she would not even ask for some bills, she would just pay it like nothing happened. Anything she saw in the market, she would just buy it without asking me for money. We were madly in love though.

I tried to increase my income and succeeded in getting 3 times my initial income but the work place was in another town of about 40 minutes journey using my bike. I was returning home everyday except those days it was not possible to return same day. She was okay with the increased income but not okay with the location being another town. She frustrated me until I willfully resigned because I had other plans that would sustain me. It was the time I resigned and trying to start something else that she came up with co-tenant issue.

.

Bluffly:
Stupid advice. Let everyone grow in the fear of God Almighty and all this is bullshit.

Leave God and His mention out of this bullsheet abeg! He more than made it clear to you in Genesis 3 vs 16 and Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 that your marriages are of the world of men and not of the Kingdom of God.

Bluffly:

When you marry a woman and not a wife, yes. When you marry a wife and your circumstances is open to both of you, if she has it she pays.

are you a man or a woman? Copy this post and drop it on Twitter or Facebook then read people's opinions

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

Bro, loud am.

Make who no know know.

HopeSpencer:
■ She knew my income could not sustain marriage and she said we must not wait any further saying that with my small income, I was better than a lot of families with children. When we got married, she would not even ask for some bills, she would just pay it like nothing happened. Anything she saw in the market, she would just buy it without asking me for money. We were madly in love though.
I tried to increase my income and succeeded in getting 3 times my initial income but the work place was in another town of about 40 minutes journey using my bike. I was returning home everyday except those days it was not possible to return same day. She was okay with the increased income but not okay with the location being another town. She frustrated me until I willfully resigned because I had other plans that would sustain me. It was the time I resigned and trying to start something else that she came up with co-tenant issue.

Your story deserves its own thread, it seems.

Typically, if a man and woman dey share bills, they do so with an agreement they share other responsibilities as well— democracy. In a situation like that when one partner loses a job, that one takes on full home-making duties(including caring for kids) to take the stress from the one who has to bear paying bills until he/she is able to get back on the ground again.

Kobojunkie:
Fact is I never said it applied to all women but in Nigeria, it applies to a good many women in marriage.

fact is, you're dealing with abstract, because you didn't present any fact, just generalization. 👌

Kobojunkie:
Your story deserves its own thread, it seems.

Typically, if a man and woman dey share bills, they do so with an agreement they share other responsibilities as well— democracy. In a situation like that when one partner loses a job, that one takes on full home-making duties(including caring for kids) to take the stress from the one who has to bear paying bills until he/she is able to get back on the ground again.

I didn't lose my jod. I resigned so as to start something else. She should not have asked me to move to another apartment a month after resignation when my alternative plan just took off

1Dray:
Why?

Smartest question so far.
"Why?"
The op knows what has been seen.
Never let your wife pay rent could be a metaphor for you not to "loose guard" as a man.
Fine, things may be done together, but note that the more a man shares his responsibility the more he looses his balls as the head of the house. Both are partners though, but you as a man can decide eg to chill out with paddies and come come late, but since you and wife are "partners", sharing bills eg 5050, can she also do thesame? A wife comming home by 11.45pm? No.
Truth of the matter is that no matter how good a wife is, once she has to handle financial burdens of the family, it makes her equal to you ie 2 captains in 1 boat. When it gets worse and she has to handle expenses more than you ie the metaphor "pay rent", meeen, no matter how good she is, overtime, she will be the head of the house. That African thing of you saying "pack your load to your father's house" no go de there again. Lol. Abi na you go pack your load commot from her house.
Anyway, what op said is deep, not just the surface value.

HopeSpencer:
■ I didn't lose my jod. I resigned so as to start something else. She should not have asked me to move to another apartment a month after resignation when my alternative plan just took off

TimT:
Why? Is it not money she is using? Why degrading women?
Some men just carry empty head and call it brain...
Is it a crime let a married woman pay house rent?
Is it not thesame house they both stay?
So if something happens that the man cannot afford the rent, the woman will sit back and wait for what landlord will do, knowing full well that she has the money to pay?
Or if she is willing to pay, masculine pride shouldn't allow me to agree!!!
We so much hold high esteem of ourselves about marriages yet many are living in bondage...
You all are saying women shouldn't pay rent or feed the man, yet you all are saying "a woman who can't bring anything to the table isn't worth been married to"...
Confusion left and right...
No worry, just allow pride Nd ego allow landlord pack Ur bag throw ..

…but Op is a female, not a male.

Lazy and insecure man! Stupid mentality. So, because na me be the man, na me be the head of the family, wey too many Bill's dey for head wey I dey think about, if my wife come get some money volunteer to pay house rent na crime abi? very useless and senseless talk.

KingAzubuike:

You're still a kid, you won't understand. Continue allowing your wife pay rent or school fees. The day yuu have little misunderstanding is the day the whole world will know you're an irresponsible man who contributes nothing to his family.

Abi oh.
I am associated one kind with a school. If you hear what women say about their husbands? Walai, you will be weak. Most will say he has nothing doing, she is the one running all the expenses, school fees is late to pay, they will place all the blame on jobless husband's, say na she de pay the rent, school fees etc. Meanwhile, all this story is just because a man that has being bearing the whole expenses all the years just has difficulty once and she had to pay school fees just that one time.

Imredeemed:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN... I come in peace

You go explain tire without evidence

TimT:

That's lie... a very big lie... you can see why I advocate for people to marry someone who loves them..
When someone loves you, the Person will do and over do for you...
Na woman wey no love the husband go dey change am for house for am...
So if 99% of woman insult a man after she pays the rent, the none of them loves the man.. they are just cohabiting... and that's not marriage...
So whether she pays rent or not, one way or the other, her behaviour will still show...

are you a man or a woman to start with. This has nothing to do with love, woman are not meant to love, men are the ones to love thier wife, that's why you will see a man will marry jobless woman and he will be very proud of her, them won't mention all those whenever the wife offend her but let my gender marry a jobless man. I mean all women! She will talk about it somewhere somehow

Nursepepeye:
are you a man or a woman to start with. This has nothing to do with love, woman are not meant to love, men are the ones to love thier wife,

"Women are not meant to love"... where did you hear such statement?? Are women not human being? Why can't they love?

HopeSpencer:
At a time when we just spent 4months out of 1 year rent, my wife asked me that we should move out because she fought with a co-tenant and said she didn't want to set eyes on the co-tenant again. I said I wasn't prepared for this as I needed time to gather money for next year rent. She offered to drop money from her savings. We got a new apartment. And she became my boss. Come and see humiliation. I wept on several occasions because I'm not a type of person that engages in physical fight. I don't even use abusive words. Whatever I say on nairaland is just catching cruise.

I looked for money and rented a room. I didn't move out my things like chairs, bed etc because my daughter needs them. I left forever.

She told relatives that I left our home and never looked back. Relatives reminded her that she told them she was the one paying all bills since the beginning and that she should thank God that the burden was removed. That's when I got to know about the lie that she was the one paying bills.

In my next life, I will prefer to be a gay.

.

Guy, I read you story about the big piece of chicken, I did not know either to laugh or cry.

Lexicon123:
…but Op is a female, not a male.

lol.. I dunno

The koko for me is to let your woman fulfil her destiny!

Emma09:
■ Lazy and insecure man! Stupid mentality. So, because na me be the man, na me be the head of the family, wey too many Bill's dey for head wey I dey think about, if my wife come get some money volunteer to pay house rent na crime abi? very useless and senseless talk.

To wear the crown of "head of family" means to carry all the bills on your head. So says your culture and your ancestors. At least let's get that out of the wear. If your woman is to pay the bill, you must loose that "head of family" crown in addition to that demand for respect and submission from her.