Reminderz:

lol you're speaking like this because you're probably a woman... don't you know everything is just a phase? even though his wife wants to help, a good wife who respects her husband will find a way to cover up his shame, not be the one to add insults to injury by exposing his secrets...

let's say for example the man is rich and he suddenly becomes poor, is that how he's going to become an object of scorn just because she came from a "rich" home... they could have married her themselves then if they would still be controlling her in the marriage...

the OP didn't say he rejected the in-laws help, but the wife is making it feel as if the man is not trying his best? didn't you see where he said he bought the wife a car and that amount of wristwatch? she didn't even appreciate it nor acknowledge them... they are indirectly controlling the affairs of his home which is not what any man can accept except he's weak... men want to control their own territory... I'm sure he even does those things just to prove to his wife that he's trying his best otherwise to me it's totally unnecessary, it's all because of the pressure he's facing from his wife and the in-laws as well which were all fueled up by the wife he married...

she's not matured enough for marriage, that's because of they way they spoilt her, I've seen many women from well-to-do and reputable families still did good by their husband... even if you need help from relatives, there's a way you would ask for it, not saying that your husband gives you so so amount, or your husband does this and that, shey e fit get more than that, e nor go drop? why una dey always talk like this? shey e get where dem dey pluck money for tree?

3k for a family of 4 and you want her to cover his shame? Somebody that comes from a well to do family should deprive her children of good food because of shame? That is not wisdom it’s foolishness. Granted she shouldn’t rub it in her husbands face, but no matter what he will feel inferior because he’s not financially stable. That’s his cross to carry because he knew the lifestyle she lived before they got married.

Smh…

Instead of this one to be thanking his God, he is here whining on nairaland. What some people are praying for, you’re complaining about. You marry girl from rich home finish, you want turn am to pauper. God forbid bad thing!

God... How did we get here??

How did Men become so weak that they can't even control their own home... God.. Why are men of today so weak??....

OP.. Send her back home to be with her brothers until she learns contentment because from the look of things you can't control your marriage.

Other than giving a stern warning, you are begging her to stop. If you don't stamp your feet, she will keep taking you for a ride... But come to think of it, did you court before marriage??

Like you saw all these red flags and went ahead to marry her...

eniolorunfe:
Smh…

Instead of this one to be thanking his God, he is here whining on nairaland. What some people are praying for, you’re complaining about. You marry girl from rich home finish, you want turn am to pauper. God forbid bad thing!

So your prayer na to become the wife for your marriage.

What work does your wife do?

Kenturkey048:


So your prayer na to become the wife for your marriage.

How does the wife’s family helping and supporting her translate to the husband becoming “wife” in the marriage?

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

you didnt date your wife?

eniolorunfe:


How does the wife’s family helping and supporting her translate to the husband becoming “wife” in the marriage?

Chairman him wife dey bring him legs out to her family. What her family is doing isn't help, It's see finish....

Did you read where he said when he gives her money to cook based on his level, she immediately calls her brothers to complain?

Did you also read where he said the gift he bought for her, she doesn't put it on., but always wears the one her brother bought for her?

I don't know what support means to you. But what the brothers are doing is not support... It's belittling.

next time when she is asking for funds jus add your own as them get plenty money for them house

Tell her how her actions make you feel and ask her what she thinks of a home. This will help you know how you can let her know the limits you can take and if you don't mind, call her folks and let them know you do not appreciate their interference.

One quick question, did you notice this trait while you were dating?

GboyegaD:
Tell her how her actions make you feel and ask her what she thinks of a home. This will help you know how you can let her know the limits you can take and if you don't mind, call her folks and let them know you do not appreciate their interference.

One quick question, did you notice this trait while you were dating?

You think he hasn't asked her all these??

He said he has gotten angry, and also begged her.. But nothing changes...

She knows what she is doing

olabrinks:
If you can’t afford to give her more than 3k what do you expect her to do? This is not a woman that struggled to eat before marriage. When she starts earning from her business maybe she won’t have to ask them. You can’t expect her to starve to cover your shame. Good food is a necessity of life, she had two children to feed. Unnecessary ego and pride is dangerous for a man who is struggling to provide. Accept the help that your in laws are giving to you, use that as motivation to upgrade yourself and your family.

So she doesn't know the man she wants to get married to has just 3k for soup before agreeing to marry him.?? Was she forced into the marriage.

It isn't unnecessary ego and pride.. It's a man having control over his home.. Let her pack back to be with her brothers if she can't manage with the man she agreed to do for better for worst with...

Lastly if the inlaws want to help, they should do that like reasonable people and stop making the husband feel less of a man.

I sha blame these men for being very weak and stupid...

Kenturkey048:


You think he hasn't asked her all these??

He said he has gotten angry, and also begged her.. But nothing changes...

She knows what she is doing

Why conclude for them when you are not the one involved? Every couple has their dynamics and if this wasn't settled before marriage, he needs thread with care.

olabrinks:
3k for a family of 4 and you want her to cover his shame? Somebody who comes from a well-to-do family should deprive her children of good food because of shame. That is not wisdom it’s foolishness. Granted she shouldn’t rub it in her husband's face, but no matter what he will feel inferior because he’s not financially stable. That’s his cross to carry because he knew the lifestyle she lived before they got married.

Why didn't she wait for somebody who's also from a well-to-do family that wouldn't be giving her 3k sometimes to cook?

Mind you the husband didn't say he gives her 3k all the time, he said sometimes he gives her 3k, and when he does, she immediately calls her brothers..

The watch he bought for 75k, she doesn't put it on, but the one her brother got is what she puts on..

This thing is a common sense..

GboyegaD:


Why conclude for them when you are not the one involved? Every couple has their dynamics and if this wasn't settled before marriage, he needs thread with care.

I didn't conclude for them..

He said it himself..

He said he has begged, he has gotten angry still no changes.. Now tell me, how did I conclude ?

Kenturkey048:

I didn't conclude for them..

He said it himself..

He said he has begged, he has gotten angry still no changes.. Now tell me, how did I conclude ?

You are right nonetheless, there's more to conversation than begging or getting angry.

Kenturkey048:


Why didn't she wait for somebody who's also from a well-to-do family that wouldn't be giving her 3k sometimes to cook?

Mind you the husband didn't say he gives her 3k all the time, he said sometimes he gives her 3k, and when he does, she immediately calls her brothers..

The watch he bought for 75k, she doesn't put it on, but the one her brother got is what she puts on..

This thing is a common sense..

If he feels less of a man, why is he living in a house that his in laws built? Did this thing start today? He pursued a woman that has more than him, two kids in and suddenly it has become a problem. This is not the time for unnecessary tantrums and pride, work on yourself. As far as the in-laws do not insult or bother you, focus on how to get to the next level. It’s his cross to carry.

I don't understand, you expect her to starve or reject gifts and money from her family just to please you? Are you playing🤨

And you're presently living in the house they gave you as wedding present? Common getdifock.....you no get talk at all

olabrinks:
If he feels less of a man, why is he living in a house that his in-laws built? Did this thing start today? He pursued a woman who has more than him, two kids and suddenly it has become a problem. This is not the time for unnecessary tantrums and pride, work on yourself. As far as the in-laws do not insult or bother you, focus on how to get to the next level. It’s his cross to carry.

He didn't pursue a woman that have more than him.. He has more than her..She tends to sort out third parties whenever he lacks.. And she also can't manage what he provides in the days of scarce which is normal in every household..

About the house, I am sure you read where he said it was a wedding gift. When somebody gift you something, it becomes yours. And not theirs.

Married people sit together and plan their lives. You don't throw your husband beneath your family.. I am sure her mother planned with her dad that was why they got to where they are today...

Growing in marriage is a team process..The said husband isn't even broke.. Because he bought a car for his wife , also gift her a watch worth 75k.. He is only married to an insensitive wife

My blame is on all these women with a dick that can't control their homes.

IAM SURPRISED THAT YOU'RE COMPLAINING, I THINK YOU HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX, IF YOU ARE WISE YOU WOULD STOP TRYING TO MEASURE UP TO YOUR WIFE'S FAMILY, JUST THANK GOD FOR THE GRACE. SIT WITH YOUR WIFE PLAN A GOOD BUSINESS AND MAKE YOURSELF RICH. THOSE MONEY YOU'RE SPENDING TRYING TO PLEASE HER, PLEASE SEND THEM TO YOUR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS. LIASE WITH HER AND BUILD A MIGHTY HOUSE IN YOUR VILLAGE FOR YOUR PARENTS. YOU WANT TO SHOW YOU'RE THE MAN, MAKING GOD HAVE REGRET BLESSING YOU WITH SUCH A RICH WIFE. KNEEL DOWN AND THANK GOD EVERYDAY AND BEG HIM TO ALLOW THE GRACE TO LAST LONG. BE WISE
Some men marry from rich homes but their wife is suffering with them, because the family doesn't care. YOU'RE BLESSED

Your problem is that you are trying to compete with her family.

Bros, do your best and leave the rest.

Start saving for the rainy day cos what you might experience next will be a shock.

Kenturkey048:


He didn't pursue a woman that have more than him.. He has more than her..She tends to sort out third parties whenever he lacks.. And she also can't manage what he provides in the days of scarce which is normal in every household..

About the house, I am sure you read where he said it was a wedding gift. When somebody gift you something, it becomes yours. And not theirs.

Married people sit together and plan their lives. You don't throw your husband beneath your family.. I am sure her mother planned with her dad that was why they got to where they are today...

Growing in marriage is a team process..The said husband isn't even broke.. Because he bought a car for his wife , also gift her a watch worth 75k.. He is only married to an insensitive wife

My blame is on all these women with a dick that can't control their homes.

Tell that to men that have taken back engagement rings after their relationship went to shit.

Oga, this might not be the marriage you envisaged, but it's a landmine you knowingly walked into. I don't see this situation changing anytime soon, and your misery and sorrow would likely continue if you don't devise a means to reorient your wife to see that it's her duty to rub her family's wealth on your face.

1Sharon:



Tell that to men that have taken back engagement rings after their relationship went to shit.

Engagement ring is not a gift.. It's a covenant of commitment... When commitment is broken , what d you expect.?

Please let's not deviate...

you have no problem living in the house gifted to you but you have a problem eating food she cooked with money they sent to their sister, so if your own brother gives you money you cant spend it on your family? the problem is not your wife getting help from her family the problem is you have not accepted her family as your because they care abt her and your family thts why they help, imagine being lucky enough to have helpers who you claim have not disrespected you but still be ungrateful instead of working hard so your family doesnt have to rely on support from them you are busy complaining. you are not pying rent yet struggle to bring 3k for soup and have the audacity to be arrogant and proud

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

As a married woman, you don't have any feeling when ur husband is busy calling his family even because of a minor issue..

Swaelyf:
you have no problem living in the house gifted to you but you have a problem eating food she cooked with money they sent to their sister, so if your own brother gives you money you cant spend it on your family? the problem is not your wife getting help from her family the problem is you have not accepted her family as your because they care abt her and your family thts why they help, imagine being lucky enough to have helpers who you claim have not disrespected you but still be ungrateful instead of working hard so your family doesnt have to rely on support from them you are busy complaining. you are not pying rent yet struggle to bring 3k for soup and have the audacity to be arrogant and proud

A married adult call her family every moment even with a less issue is ok by you, right?

olabrinks:
3k for a family of 4 and you want her to cover his shame? Somebody that comes from a well to do family should deprive her children of good food because of shame? That is not wisdom it’s foolishness. Granted she shouldn’t rub it in her husbands face, but no matter what he will feel inferior because he’s not financially stable. That’s his cross to carry because he knew the lifestyle she lived before they got married.

In as much as most of what she's doing is childish by always involving her parent with your private life, I still feel it better she stay within her family instead of going outside to ask stranger for favour...

Just talk to her and let her realise what you don't like, I'm sure she will understand...

On my own part, I won't even be angry with her, because as she's making me feel less of a man, I will be happy in one side that she's helping me to save my money, by collecting from her parent...

My life is so easy

You forgot to add copied. Original story says 5k

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

If she's not complaining, don't complain. Just allow it. We sometimes allow such with ours. I once had a girlfriend that was taking care of me. No big deal if they can afford it. If you feel uncomfortable, work harder and earn more than they have and spend your money.