mariahAngel:


Keep talking to her, and keep praying for her to come to an understanding, so that you both can understand each other better.

I saw a video where someone said couples should help their spouses understand and love them better (the way they want), and I agree with that.

Also, those things you do (or say) that she says she does not like, try as much as possible to avoid doing them.
It's as simple as that.

Why is that When it's ur gender doing the emotional and verbal abuse...u guys always say same thing..he should keep managing the abusive woman and the frustration/ unhappiness he's getting....

But once the table turn.... U will hear..."run for ur life oooo before he kills u and ur children"

nairalanduser23:

If I show any form of threat, she saying things along the lines that I should break up, date another woman that she regrets marrying me.

God!!! and u still dey there? She has already divorced u but she's waiting for u to make the move so she would say u did it. Me I would gladly oblige.. Let her get her peace of mind while u find urs. The ship has sailed sir. Move on for ur health sake. If u fall sick due to health complications from the daily wahala it will be worse for u as she will frustrate what's left of u until ur hurriedly transcended to the great beyond. Don't let her win. Move out now while ur still in good shape. Give her the freedom she so desires

mariahAngel:


Keep talking to her, and keep praying for her to come to an understanding, so that you both can understand each other better.

I saw a video where someone said couples should help their spouses understand and love them better (the way they want), and I agree with that.

Also, those things you do (or say) that she says she does not like, try as much as possible to avoid doing them.
It's as simple as that.

ROTFLMAO
Sorry but don't know why I find this advice funny especially the second advice of the first paragraph. He should "pray" to change her?
Maybe you should review your comment. LMAO 🤣

SIXTEENTH:
If you are working with a firm that has another branch interstate please apply for transfer to another state, I think with this method you can be able to evade some of her threat.

Only visit maybe 2-3 times a year can solved half of the nagging and quarrelling couple with confrontation going on in your households.

Not the solution Sir. I was in the same shoe years back. More than twenty years ago. It has not solved anything. By the nature of my work, O left home 2008 and visiting occasionally. The problem now is. When I retire, is there a home to return? I am racking my brain to see if I can have houses in three locations. My village, which my wife doesn't like seems to be the best option. I would retire there alone. She could be jumping from one child to another. Life after retirement is a dread to me.
I will not suggest divorce because of the children, but it is the best option.

Keep your option open

It's psychological bro! She is mentally trying to subdue and control you. That's if you allow it, the ball is in your court. If you can live with it, it's fine and if not, reject it! All the time!!

hasyak:

Divorce her immediately, life is too short to live with negative people..

If na woman talk am
.. divorce for sweet for your mouth ...

nairalanduser23:

If I show any form of threat, she saying things along the lines that I should break up, date another woman that she regrets marrying me.

I'll be honest with you.. There's an incredibly high chance that she's already cheating on you. When a woman cheats, she begins to create this juxtaposition between the man she's cheating with and the man she's cheating on. When she interacts with the cheated man that juxtaposition creates resentment towards him.

She wants you to initiate separation/cheating because:
1. She thinks the grass is greener on the other side.
2. To play the victim afterwards.
3. It will justify her own infidelity.

Ignore any "manage her women are like that" advice because you're the one losing peace of mind while the woman will even enjoy tearing you down.
If no children are involved you can divorce immediately (it won't get better). If you have kids and some cash do paternity tests, then you may prepare for divorce depending on how you value peace of mind.

MightySparrow:



Not the solution Sir. I was in the same shoe years back. More than twenty years ago. It has not solved anything. By the nature of my work, O left home 2008 and visiting occasionally. The problem now is. When I retire, is there a home to return? I am racking my brain to see if I can have houses in three locations. My village, which my wife doesn't like seems to be the best option. I would retire there alone. She could be jumping from one child to another. Life after retirement is a dread to me.
I will not suggest divorce because of the children, but it is the best option.

WOW this one choke me

Women behave better when they have competition.
Whenever a woman concludes u will never leave her; they begin to misbehave.

If u are not the type to keep a side chick, get a more beautiful female for a platonic relationship. Discuss everything with her, allow your wife catch u make phone calls with her and discuss personal stuff with her.
What will happen is that your wife will investigate her and when she's sees she has competition, she will be intimidated and get in your good grace.
Buy yourself good gifts and claim the lady bought them for you.

Secondly, if u have somewhere to spend weeks alone, do it without telling her. When u return don't apologize nor explain your whereabouts.

You have to find a way to break her, that is the only way to earn your respect.

You seem like a good person, she has checked u out and see u can never hurt her.

In my opinion, a wife has to love more for marriage to work.

She may be having mental health challenges. A bipolar disorder is a possibility. She needs to see a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
The situation may progress to psychosis, depression or suicidal tenderness.
She needs psychotherapy & mental health support. There's need to look for risk factors: family history, dietary deficiency, precipitating social factors, stress etc.

Banbanna:
Nawao! Na so some pple married life be? How can I live with someone almost on a daily basis without any trouble-free meaningful or casual conversation, jokes etc? It's as if he didn't befriend her before marriage . But then, pple do change though with time or she might have been pretending all along. And @ the bolded, a man isn't supposed to act like some robot, action ought to be backed by words

right, more action less talk especially in his situation where she's likely to escalate at the slightest, there's no one size fits all anyways, you know the idea is not that he's static but dynamic, he improves as she improves her communication skills. It's obvious he keeps wondering why his wife keeps doing what she does over and over, the above phrase is meant to open up the conversation further.

SIXTEENTH:
If you are working with a firm that has another branch interstate please apply for transfer to another state, I think with this method you can be able to evade some of her threat.

Only visit maybe 2-3 times a year can solved half of the nagging and quarrelling couple with confrontation going on in your households.

Evade her threat...??
I don't get .....why will a man have to result to running from the home he's paying for to go and pay for another just because u want him to stay married to a troublesome woman that needs him to her bills...... I don't get at all

Why can't the troublesome party leave ??

Bankowner:
Candid advice.
You cannot fight fire with fire. Whenever your wife starts the quarrelsome attitude, I beg you, beat a retreat and break the trail of the conversation that leads to it. It doesn’t make you less a man if you decide to keep quiet and not say anything further since she may see walking out on her as an insult which may aggravate the situation.
I have tried it, and it worked for me. Once it starts, I stop talking and start listening to music.

Let me see if I can apply this.

emmanuelbrown26:
Sometimes I feel so ashamed of sharing dis generation with some idiots parading themselves as men.
For ur wife to raise her voice at u at any slightest discussion shows how weak u are, then it also shows that she's d one doing u favour by marrying u
Men suppose to create boundary in marriage bcs d generation of women we hv dis day is totally different from what we had back then.
We hv women that wants to eat their cake and still have it.
OP ur forefathers must be so disappointed in having somebody like u in their lineage bcs u don't deserve to be a man at all

You didn't advise him but insulted him

FireUpNow:
Threaten her with divorce and see her reaction and attitude towards you. Tell her that you can't stand this anymore. Tell her if there is any other man she wants to be with she can go and meet him. Enough of the game.

divorce should be the last option and the last life line because if he uses it all the time, it loses power, and if he doesn't carry out his threat, his case is lost forever

Take ur marriage to a marriage Councillor, some of d advice u will get here won't be good.
There is a communication gap
She does not accord u respect
Your wife seems not to see u as the head of d home
Probably ur approach is always bad
Or she is d one bringing more money than you
Or she is always tense no Helper or someone to assist her with house work

She's a narcissist.

Read up narcissistic personality disorder online to learn more and know what to do.

I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED AND THE EFFORTS YOU'VE PUT IN TO SOLVE THIS. I KNOW IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR US TO PICTURE WHAT TRANSPIRES BUT I CAN TELL YOU TO REDUCE JOKES AND SAY ONLY IMPORTANT THINGS. ALSO APPLY MY THEORY "LISTEN BUT DON'T HEAR" YES YOU CAN LISTEN WITHOUT HEARING WHAT SHE'S SAYING SIMPLY BY SWITCHING YOUR ATTENTION TO OTHER THINGS ,OR BEING IN ANOTHER PLACE, WHILE STILL BEING THERE, LIKE GOING DOWN MEMORY LANE, BEING LOST IN THOUGHTS WHILE STILL THERE, LIKE BEING OBLIVION OF THE ENVIRONMENT, THIS YOU CAN ACHIEVE THROUGH PRACTICE

Bankowner:
Candid advice.
You cannot fight fire with fire. Whenever your wife starts the quarrelsome attitude, I beg you, beat a retreat and break the trail of the conversation that leads to it. It doesn’t make you less a man if you decide to keep quiet and not say anything further since she may see walking out on her as an insult which may aggravate the situation.
I have tried it, and it worked for me. Once it starts, I stop talking and start listening to music.

...after your notions are tried.... don't you return to being human and iron our real.life issues.....?
Though time will tell.... it's heart wrenching to have such knowledge under your nose.
Time apart is the best solution....but how...?!

OCHKESTINE:
Women behave better when they have competition.
Whenever a woman concludes u will never leave her; they begin to misbehave.

If u are not the type to keep a side chick, get a more beautiful female for a platonic relationship. Discuss everything with her, allow your wife catch u make phone calls with her and discuss personal stuff with her.
What will happen is that your wife will investigate her and when she's sees she has competition, she will be intimidated and get in your good grace.
Buy yourself good gifts and claim the lady bought them for you.

Secondly, if u have somewhere to spend weeks alone, do it without telling her. When u return don't apologize nor explain your whereabouts.

You have to find a way to break her, that is the only way to earn your respect.

You seem like a good person, she has checked u out and see u can never hurt her.

In my opinion, a wife has to love more for marriage to work.

My man

Na see finish dey cause this kind thing.
She may not hesitate to leave you once the chips are down.
How do you guys even copulate and make love.

I agree with this school of thought

Adexvivacity:
Am sorry to say this: She feels she shouldn't have married you. It happens to both male and female. When you marry someone you feel is below you and you have pride, it often this way. Always ignore her and communicate necessary things to her only. You have her as ur only companion, I dnt think its the same thing with her. Abi she dey playbet? cut ticket can make one angry often.

ahnie:
Op majority of those addvicing you to divorce your wife are bunch of frustrated lots.


If you follow their advices your name na sorry.

Kindly keep correcting your wife
Women are dramatic,always keep that in mind.

Are you equally a drama queen?

OP DNA test is the best options first on ur kids b4 any further advice.

ahnie:
Have you divorced yours?the way you people after smoking throws the word divorce on this forum eeh ..I pity anyone that takes advise from you

Lol

Op anytime she starts acting; look her in her eyes. Hold her and kiss her.

Na magic.

I learnt that from a mad man though.

Start avoiding her like plague.

1. In the morning, greet her, go to work.
2. After work, hang around at a bar, eat out and enter the house, shower and go to bed.
3. Weekends, if you have kids, play with them, afterwards go out and come back at night. Make sure you have eaten outside.
4. Don't eat her food. But don't stop giving her money and paying the bills
5. Don't attempt to have any intimacy with her. Try and be sleeping in the sitting room.
6. No matter what she says, don't answer, this is kinda hard though.

Nobody go tell her. Before she go ask you, say wetin she do, or tell your family or her family about what's going on.
Anytime, my wife start her madness, I just ignore her.

OCHKESTINE:
Women behave better when they have competition.
Whenever a woman concludes u will never leave her; they begin to misbehave.

If u are not the type to keep a side chick, get a more beautiful female for a platonic relationship. Discuss everything with her, allow your wife catch u make phone calls with her and discuss personal stuff with her.
What will happen is that your wife will investigate her and when she's sees she has competition, she will be intimidated and get in your good grace.
Buy yourself good gifts and claim the lady bought them for you.

Secondly, if u have somewhere to spend weeks alone, do it without telling her. When u return don't apologize nor explain your whereabouts.

You have to find a way to break her, that is the only way to earn your respect.

You seem like a good person, she has checked u out and see u can never hurt her.

In my opinion, a wife has to love more for marriage to work.

Seriously what if she takes it serious and starts her own with her bestie?

She simply doesn't love you just pretending.
She may think she has succeeded in finding her way into your house all those red flag she hide for you before you married her are coming out in full force

Thank you for this advise. You are right.

Same happened to someone I know, very close friend. His wife will even make calls to her male friend in the presence of her husband
We gave him same advise to get a female friend. Women hate competition bro. The female friend he got was his colleague who moved to Canada few years back. The wife just changed "miraculously", but the painful part of the story now is the husband moved to Canada on the other lady's request. Although he told us he has no relationship with her, but who knows.

@op, peace of mind should be your number 1 goal and you must prioritise it. Live before you die

OCHKESTINE:
Women behave better when they have competition.
Whenever a woman concludes u will never leave her; they begin to misbehave.

If u are not the type to keep a side chick, get a more beautiful female for a platonic relationship. Discuss everything with her, allow your wife catch u make phone calls with her and discuss personal stuff with her.
What will happen is that your wife will investigate her and when she's sees she has competition, she will be intimidated and get in your good grace.
Buy yourself good gifts and claim the lady bought them for you.

Secondly, if u have somewhere to spend weeks alone, do it without telling her. When u return don't apologize nor explain your whereabouts.

You have to find a way to break her, that is the only way to earn your respect.

You seem like a good person, she has checked u out and see u can never hurt her.

In my opinion, a wife has to love more for marriage to work.

I once dated and almost married this type of woman. I had to run for my dear life. We had a heart to heart but it became worst. This kind of partner can frustrate one to an untimely grave.

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

Go and do DNA test for your kids ooo that's if you have any. That type of woman wey dey respect others outside and insult her husband is a no no to me ooo