ahnie:
Op majority of those addvicing you to divorce your wife are bunch of frustrated lots.


If you follow their advices your name na sorry.

Kindly keep correcting your wife
Women are dramatic,always keep that in mind.

I hope u will also agree when I advise a wife to keep tolerating her cheating philandering husband because "men are polygamous in nature and she should always keep that in mind".

Imagine advise. When u keep correcting an adult over and over on the same issues it doesn't mean they're dull, it means ur stupid and being taken for granted because they will never change. It's only wise to correct those willing to take it. Stop trying to cook pebbles and expect them to get soft. U go old there

layzuedd:
Sit her down and have a heart to heart conversation

Lol that will still need to quarrel

Lolz

mariahAngel:


Why? What is funny about it?

Why not? Is he not the head of his home?

What is there to review?

I see that most of you men are not ready to take charge and be the head of your home.

Thegoodone13:
I can't say you should divorce her but look beyond stubbornness. She might have met a new man that has money and everything more than you and she is regretting marry you. I'm passing through the same thing now. The moment woman start compare you with another man, problems has started in that house. Give her distance, she will value you.

Op, This is the situation, take this comment seriously and deal with it!!!! She has met another man already, just End the marriage in your heart, don't date anyone else for now, just make up your mind to sink the boat, See her as just room mate, harden your heart like it is over.... Then watch what happens, She will think, She might move on with the new man, or turn back to her sense, trust me both decision will favor you...

Sleekfingers:


That 2 -3 months is too much o.
When my wife and I have issues, I will just go to one of my short let apartment, stay there for a couple of days or a week or two.....depending on the issue. But keep reaching out to my children.
She will be sending all kinda pleading messages, calling and telling my children to beg on her behalf and so on.

Ok since you mentioned kids
But if no kids then it’s not too much
And once I find out she’s cheating it’s an automatic ticket to the court for a divorce

Autobot05:


Ok since you mentioned kids
But if no kids then it’s not too much
And once I find out she’s cheating it’s an automatic ticket to the court for a divorce

Of course, Na divorce straight.

Thief when are you going to pay my money?you sold a faulty car to me since august and still organized your gangs of thieves to rob me.

tojahh:


You always act and assume you're the Mama of this faceless forum. Always feeling like your opinion is best. Imagine you wey no dey husband house dey advise person for him marriage.


Tueh

ahnie:
Op majority of those addvicing you to divorce your wife are bunch of frustrated lots.


If you follow their advices your name na sorry.

Kindly keep correcting your wife
Women are dramatic,always keep that in mind.

You know the funny part? 45 year old man go carry issue come, na 16 year old boy go dey give advice

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

mr man let me tell you your problem.... and that is " you have failed to man up"

your wife is the troublesome type. trust me, I have seen and know her type.she is the kind of woman loves to make trouble and quarrels at the slightest opportunity. that is because it is in th fibre of her beign.

also she sees you as less of a man because it seems you are too soft on her and she feels no fear nor threat from you so she has lost regard and respect for you

this is what you need to do.

never ever give her the chance to start a quarrel with you for flimsy reason ever again.
once she starts that warn her seriously about it with a very serious and angry face.

if she tries is again without concenting to the first warning. teach her a lesson by refusing to provide as you normally would, and this includes recharging of cable tv, buying fuel for gen, even provinding for food in the house or giving her any money for up keep .

you have to stamp your feet down as the man of the house and let her know that you are in charge and should not be toyed with or treated like an idiot.

in marriages, men should have the mentality that they are doing the women a huge favour by marrying them literally taking care of them for the rest of their misrable lifes. and as such the women should stay humble and respectful.

if you paid her bride price, if you funded the wedding why should the woman come into your own house to talk to you any how. a house where she is beeing fed and taken care of like a baby and she will be talking to you anyhow even looking for trouble?'
the average nigerian man is a sissy and weakling.

men should learn that a woman should be kept under control and subdued.

our forefathers did this, thats how they where able to marry four five wives and still comtrol all of them even without much wealth.

today the men are busy seeking for how they will please the woman instead of controlling them.

Peace usually reigns between two entities (eg between couples, friends, countries, companies, etc) when both have an equal monopoly of violence. To sharpen your sword is not because you want to hurt others, but to send a clear message that you can respond if they plan to hurt you.

Your wife is quarrelsome to you because you accepted it, and you also don't have any madness in you. That's a recipe for suffering, and you will always be at the mercy of those who have only madness in them.

So your wife has to know for sure that your calmness is not you being afraid to be mad, or that you can't be mad, but because you are disciplined, and would rather be at peace than blows up the whole damn place.

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

Peter-Obi type of people..!!



Guy..
Don't always be predictably soft everytime.

Be seriously dynamic.
Don't be too predictable.

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

Your wife is pregnant 🤰

mariahAngel:


Keep talking to her, and keep praying for her to come to an understanding, so that you both can understand each other better.

I saw a video where someone said couples should help their spouses understand and love them better (the way they want), and I agree with that.

Also, those things you do (or say) that she says she does not like, try as much as possible to avoid doing them.
It's as simple as that.

Hehehe, 'to keep praying for an adult to come to an understanding', one who has a functioning brain to discern btw right & wrong.

Some kind advice though...😒

Im not saying he's weak but he cares too much and she knows. Let her know she needs you Korean that's what I did.

GoldenJAT:
I am an advocate for an eye for an eye!! You weren't appointed as an ambassador for peace!!!
With me! Your input determines the output! If a woman/ wife has vowed not to allow peace reign in my home, then two can play the game.

I can't wait to get married one day. I just dea imagine say one lady/woman wl vow to stay under my roof ND still not give me peace of mind. Life self go tire her before she pack her load

tojahh I m calling you out,come give me back my money you stole from me.

You sold a car to me since august,40 minutes later you sent your boys to point a gun at me and stole the car.

Return my 1.2 million naira.
Thief

No one should make the mistake of doing business with tojahh in auto section,he's a fraudster.

Whenever she picks quarrel , threaten to send her away. She will humble herself at once

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

mariahAngel:


Why? What is funny about it?

Why not? Is he not the head of his home?

What is there to review?

I see that most of you men are not ready to take charge and be the head of your home.

Imagine yourself dating a wife beater who always assault u and one idiot advise you pray for him to change how does that sound?
You're not ready for the conversation are you?

Oyindidi:
If I talk now e go pain some of una

Aunty, Talk o

Some of us dey learn from these things

OctavianAC:


See finish may be one of the reasons. Try any method of short term separation with effective communication while you and her parents/ family keep on advising her. Separation, I said not divorce Thereafter, she may start missing you, and have develop more feeling for you.

This your name tho

Octavian Augustus Caesar

Damian911:
Imagine yourself dating a wife beater who always assault u and one idiot advise you pray for him to change how does that sound?
You're not ready for the conversation are you?

They're not comparable, and you know it.

omooba969:


Hehehe, 'to keep praying for an adult to come to an understanding', one who has a functioning brain to discern btw right & wrong.

Some kind advice though...😒

Not that I ever expected someone like you to understand. 🙄

Silence. Don't react. It get it wants to get physical walk away.
Remind yourself this everyday

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

The most annoying thing is being with an angry wife. So frustrating

mariahAngel:


They're not comparable, and you know it.

You women always try to lighten verbal abuse, maybe because many of you have a sharp mouth and are guilty of it. What you don't know is that verbal abuse is equally as deadly as physical abuse. Verbal abuse has both mental and psychological effects on men. Many men have been sent to their early graves because of verbal abuse. Unfortunately, the society will continue to excuse it and expect men to live with it, just as many of you are suggesting in this thread.

ahnie:
Op majority of those addvicing you to divorce your wife are bunch of frustrated lots.


If you follow their advices your name na sorry.

Kindly keep correcting your wife
Women are dramatic,always keep that in mind.

You need to read again !
Issues like this deserves drastic measures of which divorce is not an option. You will agree that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Omo take a chill pill, give a break she go get sense.

What prompted my response was....majority of them told the op to divorce his wife.

This is something that can be worked on,there re far better ways of handling the issues on ground.

Everything nor be divorce, divorce unfortunately this is nairaland where a teenager of 13 years will be advicing a grown man of 54yrs.

iFESTAC680:


You need to read again !
Issues like this deserves drastic measures of which divorce is not an option. You will agree that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Omo take a chill pill, give a break she go get sense.

Anfieldboss:


You women always try to lighten verbal abuse, maybe because many of you have a sharp mouth and are guilty of it. What you don't know is that verbal abuse is equally as deadly as physical abuse. Verbal abuse has both mental and psychological effects on men. Many men have been sent to their early graves because of verbal abuse. Unfortunately, the society will continue to excuse it and expect men to live with it, just as many of you are suggesting in this thread.

Op never stated that the wife verbally abuses him, but rather easily picks quarrel with him because she does not like the way he talks to her.
Let us stick to the topic please.

ahnie:
What prompted my response was....majority of them told the op to divorce his wife.

This is something that can be worked on,there re far better ways of handling the issues on ground.

Everything nor be divorce, divorce unfortunately this is nairaland where a teenager of 13 years will be advicing a grown man of 54yrs.

🤣

I think he should cut down on how he holds conversation with her simple.its as simple as ABC.

mariahAngel:


Op never stated that the wife verbally abuses him, but rather easily picks quarrel with him because she does not like the way he talks to her.

ahnie:
I think he should cut down on how he holds conversation with her simple.its as simple as ABC.

If talking does not work, then maybe.

mariahAngel:


🤣

When it comes to women talks,na then you go see them sprouting out clamouring for divorce like say divorce dey grow on trees.

The simple solution be say....make the man cut down on the too much familiarity with his wife,stop engaging her in any discussion.


Even people wey don shamelessly turn their wives to punching bags for house de tell op to divorce his wife.