What would i do in a thread where people are just throwing Grammar that i can hardly understand? The best thing to do is rate their postings based on how understandable the post is.

Cimonn is gone. I need to find my square root too. I have beenonline since i woke up. it's already noon..

@ Kazey, It's unfortunate you couldn't understand it. "Understandable" means different things to different people. The language in that post would not constitute any hardship to the 12th graders I know.

Anyway, if you had difficulty understanding the language, how good a judge could you have been? Not very good

oh my Goodness, whats up with you "Justmoi"? Ok yes i don't understand English, and yes i am trying too. Thank you.

What i was saying there, exactly was that i do have to refer back to a dictionary to understand the usage of a specific word.

kazey:

Not cross-checking the dictionary to dicipher what a word means.

Ok give me a break. You seem to enjoy pointing our peoples mistakes and judging them. Are you flawless?

kazey:

i had to check the dictionary too many times. A forum post should be understandable. A grade 12 kid should be able to read it , and understand it perfectly. Not cross-checking the dictionary to dicipher what a word means.

No Kazey, I am not flawless and I am not judging you. Your above statement implies that my post are not understandable, or at least, not easily so

Just responding to that. No offense intended

@ Cimonjorr, here is the problem; you narrated a "personal experience" and asked for people's opinions on it. I gave my opinion based on the limited information that you presented. All I suggested was that to avoid situations like the one you described, it maybe better to approach couples with whom you are already friends or to approach single women.

You got all touchy and claimed that I recommended you 'chance' the man for his girlfriend.  Where did you get that from? You also alluded that you would not be predisposed to approaching an unaccompanied, single woman at a club because she more often than not would be a lady of easy virtue. This is not the prevalent view/culture in the western world. Mind you, there may be exceptions to this. That is why I asked you, where the event happened and what the culture at that location is. I am still waiting for a response to that. 

Maybe, female patients of mental institutions carry on conversations with themselves and go around "brushing" and saying "don't touch me" to guys who have done nothing, whatsoever to them. But the average girl on the street does not do that. That is why the veracity of your story was questioned. You did say in one of your posts that, "Girls are prone to this kind of behavior" My question to you is, what are you trying to say, or maybe it should be, where do you hang out?

Not until you replied to Seun did you state that, if the girl had been nearby to overhear the conversation, then maybe she may have been justified in taking offense, but that she wasn't. The fact is that this is new and important information that was not supplied in your original post. If it were in your original post, then there is a possibility it might have affected my response, but the fact is that it wasn't. There was nothing offensive about my post. It had nothing to do with the battle of the sexes, but was an honest response based on the information I had received (as of then). So, why did you have to get all huffy and puffy, misinterprete me etc etc? Unless and until we get over this hump, then no, you and I can never get to the "main thrust of your post"

Now if you are the kind of guy that want's people to tell you what you want to hear as opposed to the truth, then maybe you should have narrated the story as a hypothetical situation. Then all this sensitivity would not have arisen and you wouldn't unjustifiably feel that you were being attacked.

Your blanket claim that I am in support of violence by women is just hogwash. Any intelligent person - which you are not - would realise that I support it only in certain cases. For example, when a woman is in danger of being raped or to fend off a groper(which would constitute self defense). I don't give a hoot about your opinion, so feel free to keep same.

In your response to my advise that approaching an attached couple that are strangers to you, might pose certain problems, you responded: "...If the guy had said hell no!! or something along those lines, then I would have let them be ...And as it went, the guy was not adverse to my approach..[hell, it would have been better than walking up to the girl and asking her, trying to disrespect his presence ..or don't you think so?"

My answer to you is that, no I don't think so. The girl is entitled to respect just the same as the guy and in a situation where it is not possible to accomplish both, then move on to plan B. The question you asked and the statement you made are to be expected only from an uncivilized male chauvinist pig with neanderthal tendencies. The 'missing link', perhaps? I know that some of the above may not apply to you, but then again,(to borrow your words of wisdom??) "I do not know you very well."

Enough of this please, haba!!!

Personal attacks are not allowed on this forum, please.

I understand that we may get offended without meaning to, but we should not allow our 'fights' to last for more than 2 posts before settling our differences. If a fight lasts for more than 2 posts I may simply delete the entire exchange.

So, Cimonjorr, don't be offended at me and Justmoi. And Justmoi, Cimonjorr is a pretty nice person.

Really he is. Ask me

Justmoi:

@ Cimonjorr,

Any intelligent person - which you are not -

This is getting rather kind of personal... isn't it?? 


You know what...

In this case, I'm going to.. for the first time.. agree to disagree with you..

You obviously have your opinions.. I have mine...

All this talk hasn't shed any insights into why this kind of behavior is displayed by some ladies on occasion.. I wish it was only limited to just this incident, then maybe there would have been some cogence to your theories.. However, it has been observed by me on more than one occasion.. and yes, also during the "personal experience" on the night in question.. which was why I started this thread to find out if there was something more to it.. possibly an inner defense mechanism kicking in or something...

Your sheer persistence in ignoring the facts as they have been presented, and preference for slighting on my person may be justifiable by you; but frankly has become tiring.. We have exchanged quite a volume of chit-chats on this topic, and are getting no where... I still do not see your point in not addressing the issue I have put forth for discussion, and in continouosly selecting portions of my replies and using them out of context..

Justmoi:
Come to think of it, who should you ask permission - the guy or his girlfriend - and in what order? If you don't ask the guy's permission, then you just might have to get ready to,"throw them 'blows" . Having said that, the girl is an adult as well and might have felt insulted that she was not being consulted in the matter. Maybe that was what precipitated her outburst and aggressive behavior.

Here is the quote that you "suggested" [apparently my use of the word "recommend" to describe this is also "part of the problem"] that a guy 'chance' another guy for his girlfriend..
If you had taken time to have a rational reading of my posts, you'll see that  that statement I made falls squarely under the 'hypothetical' senario I was trying to use as an example of how people interelate in order to settle issues and differences as human beings.. through dialog.. polite exhange of words.. But no.. as usual, you take a portion of what I've written and twist it to your satisfaction..

Since you've asked, the incident took place at an "African" night club.. All the parties involved were Africans..

Justmoi:
Not until you replied to Seun did you state that, "if the girl had been nearby to overhear the conversation, then maybe she may have been justified in taking offense, but that she wasn't". The fact is that this is new and important information that was not supplied in your original post. If it were in your original post, then there is a possibility it might have affected my response, but the fact is that it wasn't.

Ok.. now in how many more ways is it possible to say this..

The Lady In Question Was Not Around When I Was Having A Conversation With Her Boyfriend..

I have told you this before.. I have said so again.. and I have not supplied any more information to the description of the incident as it originally occurred.. She was not there when the conversation between her boyfriend and I took place.. Hence couldn't have heard or overheard the conversation..

(Please Nairalanders, if there's another possible way to say this which I haven't explored, please assist.. I really don't know of any more ways possible to say this in english.. )

Justmoi:
Your blanket claim that I am in support of violence by women is just hogwash. Any intelligent person ........... would realise that I support it only in certain cases. For example, when a woman is in danger of being raped or to fend off a groper(which would constitute self defense). I don't give a hoot about your opinion, so feel free to keep same.

Well, your sentiments here are noted, and appreciated.. After all, they are your opinions.. I would still like to know how this applies to the incident which occurred here, (as it was neither a case of raping or groping..)

As I have said before, all this pedagogue has not shed any insights into why this behavior occurs.. We have been going round in circles, with much talk over peripherals.. The main issue, to me, hasn't even been scratched.. But at least I'm happy in one respect.. You haven't come out to deny categorically that some ladies have behaved like this on occasion.. So, at least, our fellow Nairalanders wouldn't feel that this was all "made up".. (fabricated)..

Rather than decending into a slanging match with you (you claim that there's nothing offensive in your post replies to the thread, but I assure you I can fish out several places where you have definitely been less than complimentary..), I'd rather hear from others who may either support your position, support my observations, or have their own thinging and opinions on the matter..

It has really been nice interacting with you on this issue.. Really been intellectually stimulating.. maybe we'll meet in some other threads to come..

Have a nice one...



ps... Seun, Tayotina..

Really, I'm not offended.. It's nice at times to have conversations which "extend beyond the ordinary" as long as basic etiquette is maintained.. I appologise for sending this in a bit late (I was still working out a suitable reply to her post ), and this will be my last response on this war..

However it would be nice if we could all respect each others' person..

Thanks for the character recommendation.. I really appreciate it..


Saint... 

Well............... I don't know but thank God it's now over. Thought Justmoi was a male.

Tina, me too ooo....I thought she was male, not till yesterday. Props to a sistah..she did her thing!

@ Hot-Angel..

Have u ever seen a lady/girl exhibit this kind of behavior??

Not realy cimon. But she tried.

Yay.. U are here.

..... sigh.


To comment on the original issue, I would say that it was possible the lady very legitimately felt you were groping her and any woman worth her weight in salt would react to that. The 'brush' against you might have been anything but deliberate. Maybe someone bumped into her and she in turn thought you were the one getting fresh with her. For every action, there's a reaction. To call a spade a spade and not a digging equipment, I personally think it very rude for a guy to walk up to me and ask for a dance or try to chat me up knowing fully well that I'm with another guy. If it's a house party or something and we are all friends or even friends of friends, it would be alright but not in a club, please NO!

Women, unfortunately I must add, seem to have very little respect and reputation in Nigeria and most African countries to be frank. A fact I find rather sad and untrue. It is nothing short of a fallacious argument for a guy to assume that because the last two girls he dated were after nothing but his money, it stands to reason that all or the majority of Nigerian women are extortionists. Some guy (who I barely even now control myself from calling a certain name because I’m a good Christian woman ) walks up to me yesterday on my way home from work and was told in no uncertain terms to save his lyrics for the US Marine. He had the guts to say he was sure if he’d rolled up in his BMW X5 I would have had a different reaction….. a Nigerian guy no less. I could and would have smacked him over the head but for the unpalatable thought of even coming into any form of contact with the …… element. Women on the other hand sometimes do not diligently fight our own causes either.

In any event, I doubt if I know a single lady who would react as the madam in question purportedly reacted. But then again, I'll reiterate what I always say and believe so strongly in, study a situation before you get involved, what you see is what you get and what you give is certainly what you get in return. If you treat your girl like she means nothing to you, she'll reciprocate and take solace in your good looks, your money, your car or whatever material possession you have that attracts her.

There I go deviating again: occupational hazard. Essence of my post?......... Learn to cut women some slacks and refrain from generalising. Unfortunate as what happened with this babe was my brother, she was not acting on behalf of all women as you guys were quick to conclude.

Touche.

@ Ra..

Thanks..

I must appologise if the tone of my post sounded like I was generalizing.. I know that this sort of behavior does not apply to all ladies.. (and hopefully not the ladies of the Nairaland.com forum)..

However, I have observed this sort of behavior from ladies.. on different occasions.. and it lead me to create this post..

I mean, fair enough, there's no law that says that a lady "must 'gree' a guys own" if he approaches for conversation, whatever unterior motives he may have.. however, a polite "no thank you" can do a lot.. much more than a "GERROUT FROM MY SIGHT! ! ! "...

And besides, it's much more classy... 

Thanks again..



Saint...

did it ever occur to u that may be she had a little too much to drink, and was atad bit tipsy

Honestly, I didn't consider this, cos she definitely didnt look it, and she wasn't slurring her words or acting in such a manner, I'd have said that I think she was reasonably sober,

Still, thanks for all the comments,

women self dey look for wahala shakes head

@ poster
sorry bout that but maybe she was drunk

Its quite funny, the way some of us jump to conclusions. A girl, one girl, acts like a wierdo and its news. A female senator slaps a male senator and it is uncivil. But when its a hot fight between two men, some pple will claim they are being 'macho'.

some of u are saying, 'don't mind them, that's how they behave'. IS that how ur mom behaves, is that how ur sister(s) behaves. Now u will be quick to claim u have female folks who are angels. Listen Y'all. Learn to look at a lady first as human, then as a woman. That way, it makes you understand that some pple are just immature or seeking attention, like i think its the case in the story. There are a thousand and one girls who will not do that (as I am one) so dont jump into conclusions. It is called hasty generalisation. And you have a bad picture of women.

Now, I know social construct has a role here as we cannot live apart from societal dictates but there is an extent to which we all contribute to our neighbours' reaction. Or what else do you really think Women liberation is really about? for me, it is a 'fight back' against ills and evils. And just like Shakespeare's character, Othello. U all can make the burden of women better. asking how? Now, try recount on this thread, an act, by one woman, just one, each one of your. Recount an act that has changed your life. That way, you'll see, what angels God has placed around you.
Ciao

lol at cimonjorr:

u basically asked for it, the cheeck of u, asking the gf's man to dance with his girl. Is he her property? Did u aspect her to dance with u bcoz her bf told her 2.
jeez, some ppl r too backword.

LOL am not surprised jare, women fronte too much , their wahala is too much.

Am sure she wanted u to touch her , but did u na

Omo Eko:

LOL am not surprised jare, women fronte too much , their wahala is too much.

Am sure she wanted u to touch her , but did u na

Men Understand that No means No. A woman has a right to say No to any advances she does not want. Anyway By the time women start suing them and getting millions in damages this babaric mentality will stop.
I going somewhere with y botfriend, a guy mistakenly stepped on me and instead of appologising to me, He looked at my Boyfriend and said Oga, sorry oh, I gave the guy a Lecture he will not be in a hurry to forget. or I take a friend or a client for lundh and instead of dropping the bill, they give the guy the bill and all the courtsey when i am the one paying, we need to a reorientation on gender roles and behavior.
Please realise that women are not someone's toy, the are human beings with brains and should be treated with respect and courtsey. I hope this courtsey will not have to be forced on some men as it is being donein developed countries.
Women are not asking for a lot we just want our Human rights to be respected, A girl goes to a club alone or a joint alone and some Men around just assume she is a prostitute. I like eating isi-ewu and anytime i go to a joint to buy, some men will start making stupid advances at me. If you want to dance with a woman ask her politely, she has to be crazy to shout at you if you ask her politely.

". . You people wanted equal rights, well u got it. Now stand there and enjoy it!!"                                                            
                      -Tony Hancock when asked to give up his seat to a woman on a bus.  

@aisha2

What does gender have to do with what I said, and yes we woman loves to fronte especially when we want the guy or men jare. And from the guy story he never touched her becos I don't seem to understand ur beef oh.

Abeg don't mess my mood 4 me oh its too early for this .na wa oh plz today is friday

i guess u'll appreciate people messing up your day in the morning if it hadnt bin a friday,innit?

@Omo Eko
Gender comes in when you make a statement that suggest that when a woman says no she means yes. Gender comes in When you want to dance with a woman and instead of asking for her permission you ask her boyfriend as if she is his personal possesion

@aisha
In this case her "No" meant "Yes", becos it wasn't like the guy brushed on her, she did all in the name of "Attention". And plz stop taking this things serious, u are to up tight for ma jare.!!!! Biko

@calf
On a normal day I would have gone kolomental, but friday happens to be a day I love the most.

That girl is either mentally unstable or she's playing a new game which only she is aware of.

That girl is either mentally unstable or she's playing a new game which only she is aware of.

Gurls na quarell?
@ cimon
Bro i don't see nothing wrong with the whole show. The gurls thought caught up with her and her inability to control the tensed desire/fantasy (of probably u touching her nd , ), catalyzed her reactions. So make u no feel bad, cause I know that after the scenario she felt regrets deep down her lusty heart. Case don close abeg.

Can't stop laughing.She's really a girl and not a lady.u shld not expect anything less from her.
omo na mental case.