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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / He Walked Out On Me (2987 Views)
I Walked In On My Parents Having Sex, Now I Feel So Embarrassed. / My Mother-In-law Just Walked Into My House Without A Notification / I Sat On My Father's Laps, My Mum Walked In And Warned Me (2) (3) (4)
He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 2:39am On Dec 04, 2023 |
My husband of 10 years just walked out on me for a week now because he said I'm just relaxing in the house without a job. He left me with my 6 year old daughter with nothing. I had to borrow to feed and take care of her because she fell seriously sick and had to be taken to the health centre. I'm not the type that sits at home and expect only him to fend for the family, I was actually working and earning ok and have been supporting him for years, until I lost the job. Now because I've not been able to secure another, he left me high and dry. I even told him that the year has ended and it's hard to get job placements now, until next year, besides I'm willing to take up teaching again (which I never wanted to go back into, due to my previous bad experiences teaching in schools and very low pay) just to make sure I contribute to the home, but he's still adamant. He gave me the hint that not until I'm able to secure a job, he's not coming back home. We're not paying rent, only feeding and my daughter's school fees, which I can truthfully say I have been totally contributing to. Especially in the feeding aspect. He has been avoiding my calls, but I tried putting a call through to him last night because our child needed earnestly to speak to him, he picked and they spoke. My question are: - what he did, was it right? - when he eventually comes back, how should I handle the issue of his leaving? Because if I allow it pass or don't handle it appropriately, he will think it's okay to always leave when the going gets tough, and will eventually do worse in future. 6 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Kobojunkie: 2:48am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson:These questions of yours, are they really necessary? Do you need others to tell you whether he was right or wrong in this? ![]() You said you had to borrow money to feed your sick kid, how do you intend to pay it back ASAP without work? I think instead of worrying about what he did, you should focus all of your energy and effort on finding yourself a job or at least improving yourself— maybe through skill acquisition — so when an opportunity does finally show up, you will be more than ready for it. I hope your intention is not to get the money back from the husband when he finally changes his mind. ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 2:59am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:no that's not my intention. I asked if what he did was wrong because people usually say I'm always quick to react wrong to certain situations, that's why I'm asking for opinions |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 3:02am On Dec 04, 2023 |
I live around Sango Ota, very close to Covenant University. PLEASE IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME SECURE A JOB AROUND OTA AND IT'S ENVIRONS, I will be most grateful. You would have saved me in more ways than you can imagine. I studied Chemical Engineering but will work anywhere as long as there's salary at the end of the month. God bless you all. 6 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Kobojunkie: 3:05am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson:Did you guys fight before he decided to walk out on you or something? ![]() |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 3:19am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:Honestly just very little money issues. The matter no reach at all. Very little issue, he just kept saying he can't do it alone, and I told him to be patient, January is almost here. And I said it's his responsibility to financially cater for the home and that I was a helper, which I've never refrained from doing. I didn't know he already planned to leave because by 6pm that next day, when he was supposed to be home after close of work, I called him repeatedly but he didn't respond. |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Sirqt5(m): 3:28am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Na cheating things. Man got another woman or whole family somewhere 11 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Kobojunkie: 3:35am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson:Please, begin to search around for work like your very life depends on it. The economy is hard and you don't know what he has planned to do next. ![]() 7 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by madscientist88(m): 4:33am On Dec 04, 2023 |
where is he spending the night?my take is he could be seeing another woman and is using your unemployed status as an excuse to go out,no reasonable male friend would camp a married man in his house for that long,the economy of the country is bad ,bad enough to drive people to do crazy things.best is to get a honest response on were he has been all these while,second is to let him explain what lesson that is to serve your child and how that could affect her mental development, Remind him of your wedding oath,if it means anything? you both promise to fix your problems United as a family not seperated,so why would he walk away and what was that supposed to mean to you? question here is how smart are you? instead of teaching,you could learn a skill on how to knit or weave with wool,doing so would earn you lot's of money,i am advising you to learn a skill you could use working from home and 8n comfort of your home,you can sell your products to schools and hospitals have a contract with them to make clothing for new born babies.or you learn how to bake and make a special snack recipe like popcorn or biscuits you need a skill to help pending on when you get a job,tell him you want to learn a skill so you can do something to earn money pending on when you get a job.things are hard but dont give up. 3 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 6:12am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Sirqt5:hmmm I just hope not |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 6:13am On Dec 04, 2023 |
madscientist88:Thanks 1 Like |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Intergrated: 6:38am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Op. Sit down go through your contacts solicit for help. Start a business any one you can as far it brings little money. As for your husband have a serious discussion with him what he did was nonsense at this point you should be careful with pregnancy. 1 Like |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Caseless: 6:41am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Issues everywhere... Just try to get a job. Don't make trouble. 1 Like |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Intergrated: 6:42am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Caseless:job is not easy to come by. If you don't have strong connection in this country hmmm. 1 Like |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by ChybuzzDD(m): 6:57am On Dec 04, 2023 |
madscientist88: This is pure rubbish and you'll end up creating more problems for this lady with this kind of utterance. There's a huge financial pressure on lots of Nigerian families at the moment and many lone earners are getting frustrated day by day. If you're married and living in Nigeria, you should understand. 4 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Intergrated: 7:59am On Dec 04, 2023 |
ChybuzzDD:and what's your recommendation. |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by jesmond3945: 8:41am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson:dont beg him anymore. Use that energy and get a job. You can volunteer to clean or do some work for people to get money. Pray for Gods strength. Dont even call because your daughter wants to speak. Let him call his daughter. If your daughter desperately wants to speak get someone else to act as the father. What you are doing is enabling his behavior but if he sees you dont care he would reset his behavior. 3 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by jesmond3945: 8:42am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson:instead of this approach, rather use a skill you acquired, go around your vicinity and offer some service for pay. While waiting for white collar. |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by StPete: 8:55am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson: I am almost certain that you have been very reluctant to get a job. As a matter of fact, you haven’t made any efforts. That man has probably been shouldering the responsibilities and all you do all day is sit and press phone. It is pathetic when a woman is lazy and leaves all responsibilities to the man expecting him to toil nonstop. In this present age and time where things are difficult, you should get off your lazy ass and go find work. If the man dies, God forbid, I’m sure you will quickly start to sel your kpekus to the highest bidder just so u will have food to eat. Just barely 1 week your husband left and you’re already in panic mode because of food. Tueh |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Acidosis(m): 9:03am On Dec 04, 2023 |
He's a wicked human being. As long as you help out with chores, he has no right whatsoever to complain. Did you beg him to marry you? I bet he wore agbada on his wedding day, flexing muscle like one big man. You are his responsibility. Continue to emphasise that. Never give him the impression that you've done something wrong. However, it's is very very okay to acknowledge his efforts so long as he acknowledges your efforts at the home front (cooking, laundry, etc.). 5 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Foodqueen(f): 9:25am On Dec 04, 2023 |
I wish Eddy had left my cousin like this, she would av still be here. She practically push/nag her to her death. 4 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by layzie: 9:34am On Dec 04, 2023 |
MsJackson: I am actually more worried about your closing questions. It tells me you have not even taken a proper appraisal of your situation. Ok let me answer u. 1. What does it matter to u, if we tell u what he did is right or wrong? Does it change ur situation? Or u just want a sense of 'yes he is wrong', then wat? Money will fall down? 2. Y do u assume he will come back? Or even if he does, y assume he will stay? Change your mindset now to the mindset of: 1. I have got this 2. I will get myself out of this situation and live my best life with or without him. Then get to work. Cos u have work to do on urself, for u and ur baby's sake. 8 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 10:11am On Dec 04, 2023 |
StPete:why this? Do you know me from anywhere? 3 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by MsJackson: 10:12am On Dec 04, 2023 |
layzie:Thank you, I get your line of thought 1 Like |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Neptunium(m): 10:21am On Dec 04, 2023 |
A man who doesn't want to provide for you and who can abandon you and your child with nothing is no a man but a child in a man's body. He's showing you he doesn't care about you and your child. Wickedness. When you do find another job, you'd be a fool to accept him back. Should you lose your job again, fall sick and unable to work, he will abandon you again. Better to raise your child alone ( he don abandon you to do that sef ) and spend your money on taking care of the two of you than be sharing money with a man who can abandon you at anytime not giving a damn about you. Wise up! Make I ask, did you force him to marry you? This isn't a man who wants to be with you. Like someone said, him cheating is a possibility too. He could have another woman and using ur situation as excuse to leave the marriage. I'm a man and telling you how we operate. 8 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:23am On Dec 04, 2023 |
StPete: You are eternally daft Do you know the Op from anywhere? Typing from your 2 by 2 cubicle like you are physically there to know Op is lazy when she said that she has been contributing for upkeep when she had a job, the guts of silly little boys here, very crass. 12 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by henrimoto(m): 10:39am On Dec 04, 2023 |
StPete:Oga!, Do you know the OP in person before now ..that you are writing "Almost Certain" ? You are an Adult, a man of your Age shouldn't address a family matter the way you just did. If any woman had hurt you before, you don't carry that grudges around like a child. You no be am jare. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by henrimoto(m): 10:42am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Fountainofyouth:Don't mind the fellow. To even think of such words coming from a person of his Age, ..is so so annoying. 6 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by ahnie: 10:47am On Dec 04, 2023 |
What if the man is drained financially?you re practically trying to break this woman's already shaken home. The husband has rights to complain, he's human for God sake and cannot do pass his self. Oga tell the lady to go get a job kawai,no sugar coating the bitter truth. You Don't know how long the husband has bn telling her to get a job and help easing the burden. Acidosis:The truth's the man is seeing someone else. The lady should try get a job and mind her she deals with her husband shikina. |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by TheWinterBird(f): 10:50am On Dec 04, 2023 |
He's an irresponsible fellow. This is why women have to be careful who they marry. 4 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by ahnie: 10:54am On Dec 04, 2023 |
What's common sense again? StPete: 3 Likes |
Re: He Walked Out On Me by StPete: 10:59am On Dec 04, 2023 |
Fountainofyouth: You're one very nasty b.itch and I am happy I struck a nerve because I am very sure you are like the OP if not worse. You sit all day at home pressing phone and waiting for one hardworking man to come feed you. You will learn and learn in a very terrible way soonest |
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