justwise:

Both. A guy could be a mugu to one girl and a caring one to another girl, it all depends on how the girl sees it, she may think that a guy is giving her stuff cos of her looks or her charm is working on the guy while another girl will see it as caring and generous.

U cant b both!
any gurl dat calls u (justwise) is a mumuology

justwise:

Well. . . in Nigeria, buying ''gifts and giving money'' is a core part of rela/ship, you show how much you love her by action (gift/money) i must point out here that its not all Nigerian girls that does this.

If you are not a ''giver' then u don't stand a chance.

Sijo01:


U cant b both!
any gurl dat calls u (justwise) is a mumuology

Plutarch:

A caring guy is a mugu to a lady that does not really love him.

freecocoa:

The truth of the matter is that as regards love in general,everybody at one point or another plays the F O O L,there's no exception to the rule.

Person song am as sing sef.

pendo89:

Not nigeria only. Its done all over the world and its very okay. What I understand you to mean is, that very kind act of buying gifts is depicted as foolishness.
Now my guess is it would only be called foolishness if you are using the money or gifts to buy her love. She can sniff a mumu.
If you win her with your mind and then accompany that with gifts/treats am sure she wouldn't call you mumu.
A mumu guy has nothing else to offer in terms of care except buy stuff.

Mrs, Chima:

Let keep it real folks. 

Gifts/money in exchange for relationship title companionship is prostitution.  If you have to exchange gifts and money to keep your girl/man then it is what it is. 

Caring has nothing to do with buying something for someone it is about giving a bleep about your friends, families, and mate.  If a person is foolish it is because they are in denial of reality and want to continue being foolish "hoping" it will become what they wish to happen.

Foolish is the correct word not caring.   www.dictionary.com.  Use it. 

justwise:

That is supposed to be the case in real world but unfortunately 8 out of 10 cases doesn't work that way.

No matter how much you claimed to love her by word of mouth its all crap until the goodies start flowing, then that is love in action.

pendo89:

A foolish guy will buy spend money to win a gal. Now whatever he does for her therafter is not nourishment but survival to keep it afloat.
Its called barter trade.Money in *love* out.

pendo89:

well said chima

dont miss the point. I said a smart guy wins a lady using his mind and not his wallet and vv. When you buy her goodies/treats thereafter you are not buying her love but nourishing what you already got. Am sure there are several of such gals in nigeria.

A foolish guy will buy spend money to win a gal. The mumu gal will fall for that of course. Now whatever he does for her is not nourishment but survival. Its called barter trade.Money in *love* out.

Questn really is what does caring guy mean? spending

justwise:

Yes i agree with u but i'm basically saying that  in Nigeria sometimes, the opposite is the case. Even if you are smart enough to win her mind without the ''goodies'', it will not last until you cement it with goodies, buying the recharge cards, money to get her hair done, BBs. . . ., this is the value system, if you don't give (with love or out of foolishness) you will be dumped like hot potatoes cos there are ''foolish'' guys out there who are ready to do that.

pendo89:

chima,that your mind is just something else. 
That cementing is what I call nourishment and its supposed to be a symbiotic kind of relationship not parasitical one or else one dies in the process.
Everybody even william and kate treated each other even though not with bb,weaves or cards.
But you,as well as I know that the treats are a way of getting to know each other better and build a strong relationship.
If it all ends in bed or at the burger place everytime u meet with nothing solid then I call it barter.
Now ask yourself what happens if at one time things go haywire for you and you are not able to buy the goodies? If the goodies were the cement it goes down the drain. But if true love and other valuable qualities were cement it holds.You will not enjoy the luxuries but it will hold.
a malnourished relationship you may choose to call it since you say it's a value system.

justwise:

The picture you painted works in real world, where people love you for who you are and not for what you have, very few girls will stick with a guy who is not financially ''useful'' to her any more after getting used to receiving. She may try for some months but when her friends get new gadget, new hair-do, going out for dinner and her boyfriend couldn't afford those again then it will not be long before her body-language start changing forwards the boyfriend, they argue about every silly things, cracks start appearing in the rela/ship. her ''friends'' will advice her to dump the boyfriend for somebody who ''value'' her more.
You could count with your fingers the number of girls who will stick with a broke-[i]ar[/i]se guy long enough without doing a runner.

pendo89:

yeah few I agree.But the bolded to me describes a very immature/insecure girl. One with teenage tendencies who is still influenced by friends and people's opinions.
Whatever the case,no relationship is forced, its a matter of choice.You choose your kind and deal with it.
It's just wrong to blame the world for one's own choices.

justwise:

No matter your age or class you will be influenced by either friends or the society, you will be an odd number if you choose to go ''solo'' or be island of your own, you can't carry on being the only g-a-y in the village for a long time.
Everybody would love to have the type of the rela/ship you described but the truth is that they are very rare to come by.

pendo89:

lol @ the only man-lover in town.
Positive influence I hope that is what you mean.Its got to be positive to influence me. And Its still up to me to decide how far it will influence me.
Things are not forced on us. We embrace and adopt them and make them our lifestyle. A lot depends on your persona,beliefs etc.
No man is an island and no man is a tazmanian devil as well. you choose what you want into your life.good or bad.You decide.
So for me to make decisions based on my friends opinions and lifestyle is pretty childish.Its simply bringing weeds into my island.
we be friends but I decide what is best and works for me.

justwise:

Probably the only girl/woman in the ''village'' , . . . . sometimes what you see as positive influence could affect another person negatively. It takes a very grounded girl to remain loyal when the going gets tough.

pendo89:

yep yep.one man's poison, meat.but at least u agree that its all about choices. Dont want to push that positive and negative influence further.
Fact is there's is always that grounded loyal nigerian girl whom the likes of the guy above you refuse to see yet they are all over the place.
cheers

pendo89:

amen

justwise:

Probably the only girl/woman in the ''village'' , . . . . sometimes what you see as positive influence could affect another person negatively. It takes a very grounded girl to remain loyal when the going gets tough.

pendo89:

yep yep.one man's poison, meat.but at least u agree that its all about choices. Dont want to push that positive and negative influence further.
Fact is there's is always that grounded loyal nigerian girl whom the likes of the guy above you refuse to see yet they are all over the place.
cheers