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Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 5:34pm On Nov 20, 2012 |
MUST READ!! During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn’t). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight”. He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I utilized that opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.He asked me if I had peeped through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses! |
Gaming / Guess by 7evenmel(m): 4:55pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
Guess who wins
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Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 4:28pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
Wife to Husband : In my dream you were buying a diamond ring for me! . . Husband : yeah I saw your dad was paying for it =)) X_X |
Jokes Etc / Hehehe by 7evenmel(m): 6:37am On Nov 08, 2012 |
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?" "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman.. ♥ comment if u think women are smart, |
Jokes Etc / Re: Answer by 7evenmel(m): 10:33pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
PretiEbony: Amen!!!okay. |
Jokes Etc / Which Irritates You. by 7evenmel(m): 6:44pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
Which of the following reply irritate you mostly?? 1..Mmmh 2..Whatever 3..K 4..Lol 5..So 6..Nkt Others specify |
Jokes Etc / Re: Answer by 7evenmel(m): 5:11am On Nov 06, 2012 |
PretiEbony: Hmm another Calabar girl commenting..Rubbish. |
Jokes Etc / Answer by 7evenmel(m): 10:13am On Nov 03, 2012 |
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Jokes Etc / Naija Is Blessed by 7evenmel(m): 6:19pm On Oct 31, 2012 |
NAIJA IS SO BLESSED What would happen in Nigeria if we are to experience hurricane (GOD FORBID) Imagine say a 'Hurricane Akpors' isheading for Naija in 3 weeks.. Firstand foremost; 1. Prophet T.B Joshua will prophesy the hurricane. 2. The State Governors will hold a press conference advising the people of the states to remain calm as government is working hard to see how they can tackle the situation. 3. National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) will grant an interview on Channels TV and AIT saying that they are well trained and prepared to handle the crisis. That they are untop of the Situation. 4. The Federal Government will wait for the Hurricane to first land and wipe out States then; - Hold a day of National Mourning and Prayers and order the flag be flown at half mast. - Visit the disaster location for a first hand assessment of the damage. - Visit the survivors camp and share relief material (Mosquito nets, rice and Indomie) - Set up a committee to investigatethe Hurricane and see how we can prevent future hurricanes from visiting Nigeria. - Release billions of Naira (on Paper) for disaster management. - Sack the Minister of Water Resources for failing to contain the water. - Commend the State Governors, NEMA, Red Cross and other emergency services unit for their quick response. 5. The Senate will hold an emergency session and condemn the 'Hurricane'. 6. Churches around Nigeria will hold crusades and Programmes with Titles like 'May Hurricane wipe out your enemies'.. 'Calming the Hurricanes in your life'.. 'Finding the Rainbow in your Hurricane'.. e.t.c.. 7. M.I Abaga will release a single about hurricanes. 8. Femi Falana (SAN) will sue the Hurricane, F.G and State government for their poor handling of their handling of d Hurricane. 9. CPC, ACN, APGA and others will blame d PDP and Jona 4 d Hurricane. 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / New Element by 7evenmel(m): 4:10pm On Oct 30, 2012 |
A new element added to PERIODIC TABLE : Name: Girl Symbol: Gl Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask. Physical properties: 1. Boils at any time, 2. Melts when handled with love and care, 3. very bitter when mishandled. Chemical properties: 1. Very reactive, 2. Highly unstable, 3. Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items. Nature: 1. Money reducing agent. 2. Volatile when left alone. Occurrence: Mostly found in front of the mirrors. |
TV/Movies / Only In Nollywood by 7evenmel(m): 4:04pm On Oct 30, 2012 |
These can only happen in Nollywood movies. Enjoy 1. How can a ghost look left and right before crossing the road? 'Dem dey fear accident?' 2. Why does the TV go off by itself after the 'breaking news'? 3. Why do all native doctors paint one eye? 4. Why must every advert start with a loud scream? 5. Why must every juju part be represented by lightning and thunder - under the bright sunlight? 6. Why do Nigerian movies always have part one to five? 7. How can Segun Arinze be Ramsey Noah's dad? Any resemblance? 8. Why would a blind mother say"I'm happy to see you, my son"? 9. Why is Jim Iyke always coming back from America and speaking with a fake British accent? 10. When will Pastor Ajidara stop being a fake pastor? 11. Why is it that the characters die or run mad immediately after their confessions? 12. Which evil woman washed pant inside soup that Tony Umez ate and became the god of Nollywood imbeciles? 13. How come Epic Village Movie, set in the 90's, still find Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair? 14. How can N2bn fit into a small Ghana-Must-Go bag? 15. Must all hired assassins be found in uncompleted or abandoned buildings? 'Na dem papa house?' 16. Why must a film have "Part 1,2,3"; "Return of The Film 1,2 and 3"; and "The Same Film 'Reloaded' 1,2 and 3"?! 17. Will a Yoruba movie ever be complete without a visit to the 'Baba'? 18. Study: 9 out of 10 times, Olu Jacobs dies of heart attack in Nollywood movies, why? 19. "15 years ago" - and Ini Edo calls her boyfriend with a Bold 5. How is this possible? 20. Why will the parents call their child three times and ask him/her"How many time did I call you?" 'Dem no sabi count?' 21. When poor people come to Lagos to struggle, they always make it. If it truly is so, why poor people still dey Lagos? 22. Why is it that Ogogo is always innocent but must be a victim of circumstances? 23. Who translates Yoruba films without studying English? E.g "My wife is a pregnancy. Add your own... |
Romance / Really? by 7evenmel(m): 12:54pm On Oct 30, 2012 |
Women are hard to understand, but men are even harder to understand. Reasons why ladies gradually giving up love. If you dress nicely, he says you are a snob. If u dress sexy he say you are a slut. If you argue with him he says you're stubborn. If you're quite he says you're stupid. If you call he says you are needy and clingy. If he calls you, he says you should be grateful. If u dont love him he'll try to win you. If you love him, he'll take u for granted and leave you. If u dont make love with him he'll say u dont love him. If u do he'll say you're easy. If you tel him your problems he'll say you are irritating, If u dont he'll say u don't trust him. If u lecturer him he'll say u are bitchy, If he lecturers you its because he 'cares' If u text him he doesnt respond, If u stop texting, he asks what went wrong. If he breaks a promise, he had to. If u break a promise u cant be trusted. If you cheat on him, its over. If he cheats on you he expects to be given another chance. |
Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 6:48am On Oct 30, 2012 |
A guy in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'.. He sat down & noticed 4 buttons- WW, WA, PP & APR. Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much! He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, he pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF tomake him smell fresh. Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR. He later woke up in a hospital, a nurse smiled & said; Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER, so when the machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went for your balls. Your balls are in this jar. |
Jokes Etc / Your Letter by 7evenmel(m): 6:46pm On Oct 29, 2012 |
The first letter in your name predicts your character.. A― Romantic B― Proud C― Innocent D― Lovable E― Good but Hurtfull F―Compassionate G― Logical Minded H― Leadership Potential I― Helpful J― Free-Spirited K― Irritating L― Funny M― Emotional N― Sensible O― Supportive P― Crazy Q―Unpredictable R― Practical S― Loving T― Fake U― Sensitive V― Genius W― Calm X― Easy-Going Y― Intelligent Z― Jovial Comment your letter.. |
Romance / Re: Which One Are You? by 7evenmel(m): 5:57pm On Oct 29, 2012 |
Stella_Bella: my category no dey.Dah kain thing.lol |
Romance / What Type Of Fruit Are You? by 7evenmel(m): 7:15am On Oct 29, 2012 |
WHAT TYPE OF FRUIT ARE YOU? 1. MANGO - Happily married 2. ORANGE - Single and searching 3. LEMON - Having a sex partner no strings attached 4. STRAWBERRY - In a relationship but in love with someone else 5. PEAR - Still in love with your ex 6. CHERRY - In a relationship for wrong reason you just don't know why you still with the person 7. GRAPES - Single and happy 8. PINEAPPLE - Just like the person, nothing serious at all 9. BANANA - In a relationship with the person you love, the love of your life |
Romance / Re: Love by 7evenmel(m): 6:47pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
lecturerdabo: U must have broken her heart so so bad , keep begging I didn't break anyones heart |
Jokes Etc / Re: Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 6:45pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
lecturerdabo: The guy cheated and ought to be charged for attempted murder!Why do you say so? |
Jokes Etc / Decide!!! by 7evenmel(m): 9:42am On Oct 28, 2012 |
According to you, which one do you think is the best feeling? 1. Finding a lover after 3 yrs of being single 2. Finding a toilet in the streets when having a running stomach. 3. Finding money when broke # comment with number # |
Romance / Love by 7evenmel(m): 9:33am On Oct 28, 2012 |
DEAR GUYS: You know a woman is truly hurt when she ignores you. SILENCE is a woman's way of expressing ANGERand PAIN.. all at once.-- DEAR GIRLS, NO GUY is PERFECT, but when you find a guy who is willing to admit he was wrong and try to fix his mistakes, you've found someone who is good.- |
Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 9:26am On Oct 28, 2012 |
A guy and his girlfriend went to commit suicide on top of a 10 storey building so that God can officiate their wedding in heaven. There plan was to jump off the building at the same time at the count of three. So, After the count, the guy jumped off but the girl didn't jump. She looked back and said: Love is blind but am not blind. She then walked away. As the guy got to the air, he opened his parachute and said: Though, I'm madly in love, but not mad to die for "LOVE". Now the question is who cheated between the two of them? |
Romance / Which One Are You? by 7evenmel(m): 9:46am On Oct 27, 2012 |
(A). REAL BOYS Real boys are getting busy investing on their future making money, Using most of their time thinking and getting ready for future. (B). FAKE BOYS Fake boys are swaging, showing off, living a fake life to impress others, sleeping around and boasting to women what they can't be or afford in the next 10years (C). REAL BABES Real babes are serious, staying faithful, Graduating, building a career, trusting God for a better life, getting a Good job and a having good family with kids in future (D). FAKE BABES Fake babes are unfaithful, flirting, clubbing, gossiping, swaging, sleeping around exchanging their precious body for money, worldly material things that won't last for ever...(VANITY) PLEASE BE SINCERE WHICH ONE ARE U? Answer with: A, B, C, D, |
Religion / God Is Good by 7evenmel(m): 9:12am On Oct 27, 2012 |
♥ GOD IS MERCIFUL ♥ ♥ despite the fact that I'm a sinner yet I slept yesterday I'm still alive today. NOTE: 1. Some did and couldnt make it to today 2. Many slept yesterday only to wake up today with a kind of sickness. 3. Some never knew when to sleep. Cant recognice the day or the night #blind 4. Some did nothing yesterday but today they'll be charged to court and its a life sentence. 5. Many cant walk, not to talk of dance. Some cant sleep, to talkof you snoring. Brothers and sisters there are Uncountable reasons why you should praise GOD!!! |
Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 7:22am On Oct 27, 2012 |
A man buys a LIE DETECTOR Robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner. Dad: Son, where were you today during school hours? Son: At school. (Robot slaps son) Son: Okay, I went to the movies! Dad: Which one? Son: Harry potter. (Robot slaps again) Son: Okay, I was watching porn. Dad: What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was. (Robot slaps dad) Mom: Hahahahahaha!!! After all"he is your son"! (Robot slaps mom). |
Jokes Etc / Laugh by 7evenmel(m): 7:08am On Oct 27, 2012 |
Teacher : Class if you to choose between money and brain what would you go for ?? Johnny : I'd go for the money!!!! Teacher : As for me I'd go for brain! Johnny : Well everybody goes for what he doesn't have!!!!! Click LIKE if you understand. |
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