Whenever I need help and I don't want to say it, I just go to my wife and say,

Honey,
You know that in Nigeria, anything can happen! So, whenever APC feels embarrassed that PDP is lagging behind, they call Tinubu on phone and say, Papa, we need help. Immediately I say that, she would understand the kind of Papa that I am talking about. So, she would call her father on phone and say, Papa, we need help. The man will now ask her, who are the "we" and she would say, me and that small boy that I married. The man will now say, Oh' I see! I will rally around to see what I can do about it. So, this template has always worked for me but I believe that she is beginning to see through it. So, I might change but not now!

The thing is, as a man, I have my own burdens, down moments and some memorable activities going on in my home. So, I hope she doesn't see this. Thank you!

So, how many times have you used that tactic, and how many times has it worked for you?

Well, the advice I want give you is that don't let see finish happen to you in the sight of your in-laws.
Don't always take the easy way out.
Don't always use your last option as first.

Kontinu...

U are doing well...

Don't worry, na wan small family party una go get, her younger ones and her cousins go begin dey send you message to go find opener, etc, na that time your sense go open...
Dem dey call you small boy, u dey laff. Od.e

May God have mercy on us. Thank God for his help. See-finish is one of the worst things that can happen to a man with his wife and inlaws.

Especially when you have done nothing to merit the see finish.

Mariangeles:
So, how many times have you used that tactic, and how many times has it worked for you?

Well, the advice I want give you is that don't let see finish happen to you in the sight of your in-laws.
Don't always take the easy way out.
Don't always use your last option as first.

The in-law politics is going on well. In fact, I have even assigned myself to a mentor to put me through on that. So, gradually, I am picking up new lines if not, one day these people will call me to come and wash plates in their family house and it would be a terrible thing if the children are watching.

As far as time is concerned, I am still a respected man. Hope she doesn't see this!

What my wife did that amused me.

There was a time that I was having issues with my boss and my wife took sides with him. The problem is that my boss has bad mouth ! He can call you at midnight and tell you to start a new task the next morning. So, I felt he was barging into my marital life. The day I manned up to him and almost removed one of his teeth, my wife heard what was happening and told me not to bite the finger that feeds me. I felt underrated! Apart from the works we do, my boss cannot see me on the road and talk to me anyhow but in the office, he's the tiger while I am always quiet because we humbly applied. It was even my wife that helped me to get the job. So, I felt that she was trying to get some benefits from my salary without telling me. It pained me but I trust her for one thing which is the fact that she always acts for the good interest of the family.

My boss, being the cunning man that he was, didn't stop there! He went on to give me more terrible tasks and I had no one to complain to because everybody was minding his or her own business. If hustle pays, I will rearrange my life!

Facts about what's happening in my life.

1. My wife overlooks things before passing judgement on me!

2. We both use the statement, I married you.

She can say, I married you and I can say, I married you. So, I don't know who married who but things are moving on fine.

3. During Buhari regime, I wanted to resign from my duties as a husband but I had to speak sense into my head because she never offended me.

... To Be Continued.

A time came in my career life that I began to question our company's decision to bring this man to our branch! We even welcomed him with the slogan, Unto Us A Boss is Given.

OK, there was a time somebody visited him at the office claiming to be his cousin and they bonded well but when my boss noticed that the boy was asking for money to up his musical career, my boss developed nostalgia for the discussion. Everything the boy was saying fell on deaf ears and when he was about to leave, my boss told him,

Chike, my hands are tied if not I would have helped you but drop your account number let me contact my wife and see what I can do about it. The boy left in anger because he was clearly seeing my boss' hands nothing tie am! So, when he flared up, my boss told him to calm down so that they could settle amicably but the guy left in anger and banged the door behind! Before he could reach the gate, I called him aside and gave him N5000 to manage.

Later when we heard that the boy had died in his sleep two weeks after, I became disappointed at my boss. Hmm, things are happening o. I sha no wan carry the matter for my head!

What my wife did that exposed my origin.

There was a particular time things were not moving fine for me. So, I sought the advice of our neighbor and when my wife saw what was happening, she was offended.

Later when I went to talk to her, she excused herself and said that I would be able to explain myself better when I know what I stand to lose! That same evening, I wanted to touch her but she stylishly removed my hand from her wrapper and told me, It's like you don't know your mate? What she did pained me but I was encouraged when I saw a ruthless smile on her face. So, I pressed on and she said I should apologize.

For what?! I flared up.

For peace to reign in this house. She said calmly.

I stood up, looked at her for sometime and paced around the room and said,

I am an Anambra man, I cannot apologize to someone I brought under my roof!

Then, you can pronounce parallelogram to end the argument. She said now slightly achieving her aim.

I can see that you want to blackmai*l me! Just give me the terms of the apology. I said bowing down in shame.

You must do it online and in written form. She said as she stood up to face me with all impunity.

I left for the dinning and right there, I picked up my phone and started typing...

Disclaimer.

I want to apologize to the whole world for causing a slight havo'c in my own home and I promise not to do it again! Thank you.

When she saw it on Facebook, she said, By this apology you have agreed that you are responsible for some of the issues we have in this house. So, I will beg my people not to do what is in their hearts!

I was thinking that she was joking until calls started coming in. That family, BEWARE.

The last straw that broke the Carmel's back.

When it was time to bury Chike, my boss gathered us together and told us to prepare that we are going to that village to give that simple boy a befitting burial. At first, I thought it was in a dream but I realized that I was seeing clearly. Then I remembered a vision I had a night before...

Behold, I saw the devil standing in-between two covens on a hill to resist the leaders of APC and the devil himself was asking them, what made you this wicked? Who taught you this pattern of wickedness to impose on the people a great menace that you yourself cannot bear? Out of curiosity, I watched as the APC leaders kept quiet as they kept looking at one another in defiance. So, I wanted to interfere but a voice told me,

Thou son of Man, hold your peace for this is a family matter! Let them see to it by themselves if it be meet for a people in the 21st century. So, I kept quiet and the voice that spoke to me comforted me. When I got home, I added two and two together and decided to boycot the burial.

When my boss could not reach me, he sent a text message to my wife telling her to tell me that my downfall had started. I look the msg I laugh! Me wey done dey chop money before the company was formed! On his return, he became a new person.

I don't know what happened. Maybe, he saw abandoned cars of accident victims along the way and decided to respect himself because he realized that man is nothing.

Schoolguy9:
Immediately I say that, she would understand the kind of Papa that I am talking about. So, she would call her father on phone and say, Papa, we need help. The man will now ask her, who are the "we" and she would say, me and that small boy that I married. The man will now say, Oh' I see! I will rally around to see what I can do about it.

I hope she doesn't see a reason to change. You are lucky your wife has a good support system. If she lacked that, she would rely on her ex-lovers and probably her boss at worker or work place-lovers. She'll always be angry with you because hunger and lack is terrible

Also she loves you and I hope that stays the same. Everything will just be fine.

Why did you choose to post it here. Are you a woman man?

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What my wife did that scattered my life

I know it's hard for me but I just have to admit that I am not in control of this marriage! It is either it is in the hand of God or it is in the hand of outsiders of which I suspect that my boss is the head but I can't just say it out loud because my job is in the line. My wife, being the kind of woman that she is does not allow me to air my views peacefully.

There was a time a politician in my locality diverted public funds to his personal accounts and I traced the whole deal independently and when I told my wife about it, she said I should learn to mind my business. I protested by telling her that I achieved the same success some sophiscated law enforcement agencies couldn't achieve in their entire history and she said, Such a careless attitude shouldn't be condoned and if you call it a successful adventure, then it is not necessary! At that point, I knew that I had had it all.

I packed out of the main room and my wife didn't care. A room that was meant for both of us now accommodated only she and her electronic gadgets. I knew I meant nothing to her but I just hope she would pretend a bit to make me feel important. Even her father didn't call to ask us how far. It was only my daughter that showed concern.

My landlord on the other hand was telling me to bear it as a man but I didn't know which angle to start bearing from. Meanwhile, she always provided for the family. So, my problem was minimal, deep and confusing.

One day, I caught her speaking to my boss on phone and when I asked her what gives, she said that she was only motivating the young man to move the company to the next level as a concerned citizen and an elderly states womWhat my wife did that scattered my life

I know it's hard for me but I just have to admit that I am not in control of this marriage! It is either it is in the hand of God or it is in the hand of outsiders of which I suspect that my boss is the head but I can't just say it out loud because my job is in the line. My wife, being the kind of woman that she is does not allow me to air my views peacefully.

There was a time a politician in my locality diverted public funds to his personal accounts and I traced the whole deal independently and when I told my wife about it, she said I should learn to mind my business. I protested by telling her that I achieved the same success some sophiscated law enforcement agencies couldn't achieve in their entire history and she said, Such a careless attitude shouldn't be condoned and if you call it a successful adventure, then it is not necessary! At that point, I knew that I had had it all.

I packed out of the main room and my wife didn't care. A room that was meant for both of us now accommodated only she and her electronic gadgets. I knew I meant nothing to her but I just hope she would pretend a bit to make me feel important. Even her father didn't call to ask us how far. It was only my daughter that showed concern.

My landlord on the other hand was telling me to bear it as a man but I didn't know which angle to start bearing from. Meanwhile, she always provided for the family. So, my problem was minimal, deep and confusing.

One day, I caught her speaking to my boss on phone and when I asked her what gives, she said that she was only motivating the young man to move the company to the next level as a concerned citizen and an elderly stateswoman in the community. For a minute, I wondered if my wife had ever called me a young man if not this small boy she addresses me as all the time.

BTW, I don't blame her.

Timeline of events in my life

01. My mother scattered my life by telling me, some of your mates are married, son.

02. I scattered my mother's life by telling her that some of my mates are in the mortuary.

03. My wife scattered my life by telling me that her father and union of uncles can feed me, clothe me, feed my generation and even create a future for me!

04. My landlord now scattered my wife's life by telling her that she cannot paste banners in front of the compound.

05. If I tell you how my boss scattered our lives, you will regret being a Nigerian.

... Honestly

How I met my wife

I know I am not supposed to be saying this online but my heart is overflowing. So, let it be let out.

There was a day I visited Onitsha to see a friend of mine who got sca'mmed while attempting to sca'm another person. So, we paid him a semi-condolence visit because he nearly died because of the deal as all his funds were emptied from his diverse accounts. On our way back, I decided to take another route because I heard that Onitsha people are stubborn! So, I went to test their kariability and street ruggedity. That was how I found myself separating a fight I don't know how it started. At the end of everything, I sustained minor injuries, was rushed to the nearby Chemist store or Pharmacy while those who sustained major injuries were rushed to the hospital at once. After treating me, the girl decided to carry me on her back from the patient's room to wherever I was to board the next bus to Awka. That was how I fell in love and we exchanged contacts. Throughout the journey, I was thinking about this chubby girl and her attitude.

Later, she took me out on a date, spent money on me and even spoiled me a bit with long life and prosperity wishes. Thinking I had secured a place in her heart, I decided to play along.

Today, everything looks like a movie because I never expected to get this far. When I traveled to Enugu for some business engagements, the relationship suffered a setback but when I returned, we linked up a again. You needed to see how she complained about missing me, sighting me dedicating me! In fact, e remain small make she cry her eyeballs out while explaining herself to me on how she felt while I was away.

In order not to lose me, she decided to tie me down. Trust woman on that one!

I won't believe this story no matter what

How I changed it for my mother-in-law

Ok, fine. I am not all that humble but I try to make things work fine. Hence, I am always obedient and truthful to the point of no return. So, you can imagine what I have been through.

As I write this, all my hands shake as I never imagined that I could stood up to that woman. There was a time she called me and said I should come and help them slaughter a goat they would use for their last born's birthday celebration. I was so happy because it was not easy to get close to that woman (and her sister) because their class is too high! So, I called two of my guys to mount guard for me in the case of eventuality. When we got there, we didn't know who to greet first because if you greet the girl's mother without greeting her twin sister first, you will be in trouble. They are dragging greeting position like some of those SSAs Obiano hired during his regime and one wonders which office they work in. So, we went straight to the kitchen to reason with the women who were doing the cooking. Trust me, I came with a satchet of butter, two bottles of fayrouv and seven cans of coca-cola soft drinks. The aim was to top-up intermittently. Whatever that means.

So, we got down to work and were discussing and laughing during the whole process. While we were about to finish, my mother-in-law showed up from the backyard and my countenance changed! Sensing dange'r, one of the guys went to the gate to clear way should the unexpected happens while the other one stayed on ground to cheer me up. For the first time in my life, my morale level was 80%!

Mama, how are you doing? I started with an ugly smile on my face.

Fine, take the meat to the kitchen like that, they are waiting and Catechist would soon arrive. She said with a straight face.

Ah, Mama, we are not done yet nah! I protested mildly because it's not my father's house.

Do whatever the heck I tell you and stop musing around like a Carpenter that lost his hammer. She barked at me and all eyes were on us.

Before I could talk again, she held me by the collar and made me to stand up from where I was kneeling down to cut the meat as I backed her. While coming up, my hand held the handle of the bucket that contained the biggest part of the meat which was the left lone pair of the laps. So, I rose by lifting a bucket containing huge meat and history was made in that compound as we went to the kitchen together! Even my guy who was supposed to cheer me up burst out laughing and some people were just saying chai, eiyaa, e.woo o and I accepted everything with mixed feelings. Meanwhile, my wife was still at home preparing for the party!

When I got to the kitchen, another drama started as my mother-in-law dumped me there and told them to manage me as their errand boy because the one she called didn't show up. So, I lost my cool. I called her three times, pointed at her face with a stern look and told her plainly,

Mama, mama, mama, you have wounded a lion. Now you will see the Beans in me. Then I stormed out of the place and two of my guys followed me. All these things were happening while my Pa in-law was away to buy newspaper. When I got home, I told my wife everything and she ignored me. According to her, she needed to hear it from the horse's mouth first!

On arrival, she told me that I was introduced as the special guest of honour in my absence and I was a bit relieved. Later, her younger brother that celebrated his birthday called to know what waxup but I had already done what was in my mind! Thank you.

Facts about her union of uncles

01. They are the Overseers of my marriage.

02. They were the ones who set an examination for me which I needed to pass before I could marry their daughter. At the end of it all, I scored 48/100 and had to bribe my way in because I like politics!

03. They once told me to come and stay with Uncle Bolaji for 6 months so that I could learn how to take care of their daughter well. When I asked them why, I was met with a deafening silence.

04. They are ever ready to defend their daughter at any court of fitness! Even against her will. I don't know what they are protecting. Hmm

... And the rules go on and on! Fear those people.

Hmm