| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Blessedpalms: 8:05pm On May 28 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. I came online and saw this. It breaks me to hear this kind of thing o bro. Life is very difficult. Very difficult to understand and very difficult to navigate. As humans, at a point we feel like we have planned it right only for a challenge which one can not control to happen. I pray the giver of life and the taker of life gives your wife a peaceful comfort in Life beyond here. I believe their is Life beyond this current existence filled with pain and uncertainties. I read up there where some said Jesus quickly died at 33. Then it occurs to me that in Numerology, 33 is a very difficult stage. It's also considered a "master number." A number emphasizing the importance of helping others. But how can one help, someone who is passing through what one can not control? This thing called life is very strange, 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Starz825(m): 8:13pm On May 28 |
I dey always tell pple say
As long as you are a Nigerian living in Nigeria ..just minus 10 yrs from your age ....
Now that's your real age....it's all about mindset..if you think you are old you are ...if you think otherwise same....
Guy be not faithless but believing 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Esthered: 7:36am On May 29 |
Acidosis:
My dear, thank you so much. That meant a lot.
Thank you bro.
Egbon, please accept my condolences. Please respond to my mail when you can sir. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by pocohantas(f): 8:52am On May 29 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. Oh No!!!!! I can't believe I am reading this. I am so sorry you are going through this, Acid. I don't have the right words. I don't. I pray you find the strength to pull through. Accept my sympathy. I share in your grief and deeply saddened by your loss. May her soul continue to rest in peace. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by IyaTola: 8:57am On May 29 |
 Nonexisting1:
No time is late actually. It's just that you need to slow down on your hustle as you age older to avoid high blood pressure and heart attack. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Bignuell(m): 9:15am On May 29 |
Stewart883:
You better act very fast bro. The 30s runs like a flash. I am 39 now, was just 29 years old in 2014. Time waits for no one. This is what my uncle was telling me, weeks back. At age 25 is when one sun start shining and you have about 15 years to makr any decision, take any risk 4 Likes |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by IyaTola: 3:33pm On May 29 |
Bignuell:
This is what my uncle was telling me, weeks back. At age 25 is when one sun start shining and you have about 15 years to makr any decision, take any risk So, what risk have you taken. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by oneman11(m): 3:36pm On May 29 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. sorry for the loss of your beloved. may the lord console your family |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Konquest: 8:13pm On May 29 |
Blessedpalms:
These fears are more than real the moment you hit 33. I looked in my mirror and saw my beards, becoming everything I feared.
I have never felt so lonely in a world filled with 7 billon humans. Too much worries
Maybe I should have took that risk, maybe I should have learnt something instead of just focusing on academics. I keep thinking about everything I could have done earlier. Maybe I should have started this 5 years ago at 28. Maybe I should have started that 7 years ago when I was 26.
But it's unfortunate those years are in the past now.
It's my fault, I was optimistic and thought things were going to be better. Government employment, good salary. I'll have a good career and my own family. Maybe a wife and 2 kids.
I just laughed at myself now,
This clown got No kids, no business
maybe that's even a blessing in disguise because how do I feed them?
I have always been afraid not being able to be there for people around me talk less of my kids. These fears are real because I can't even be there for myself.
I am not the type that blames anyone. I feel like life has a way of telling you optimism is weakness and a lie.
Don't get me wrong, Life is kind to many others
And this is where temptations comes, you start to see society and crime from a different perspective.
No one is free from this kinds of temptations
No one is free from this kinds of temptations.
This is why I find it hard to blame call girls and women in clubs acting a stripper. You don't know the kind of struggles that push people to where they are. I have grown and learnt not to make mockery of anyone. Some of them aren't even 33 yet. Alot of things tempt people to Fall. Many people with no real jobs.
Appprehsive about what to eat, appprehsive about health, Appprehsive about neighborhood asking for any fee, apprehensive about Rent, Appprehsive about aged parents. I don't know what tomorrow holds. You tell people to teach you things, they tell you, you're too old.
I am at a point where I am trying not fall. It's emotionally shattering. NO job, no real solid financial backing. It feels like only you in the world. you have to fight and figure it all out.
You think, Plan, write but see, it all feels like a meaningless scribble.
If you you are still 25 or 26 now is the time to do something. Just do something, forget about optimism. Optimism is deceptive.
Do everything not to stumble and fall in the future. Don't be bothered about what people think about what you do. You'll only be respected if you are able to care for yourself and people around you.
You're 33 and still a youth. I silently read your post and instinctively deduced that you are going through a turning point right now with all the headwinds you're running into. In the final analysis, YOU are the TOTAL sum of all your experiences in life and how you handle things from here on out will determine your success or failure down the road. First off you have to engage in NOT just what you are passionate about, BUT also what will bring you sustainable daily income. Look for problems and find solutions to those problems on a medium to large scale and get paid for doing so. Second, look at some of the most successful folks in any field of human endeavor that you like and mirror yourself after the top 3 folks in that field. Read books and autobiographies about what they did to get to where they are. Trust me, a vast number of folks who are millionaires and billionaires had it very rough while growing up. I read a testimonial post by a young lady in her early 30s here on NL last month who said she just made her first 1 million Naira. I asked her what she did to get to that level and she said she was into buying and selling of things and had lost her father at a young age so had to struggle through her education and didn't want to go into prostitution so she had to work hard. I gave her some more tips and insights of what to do to make her business grow sustainably and she was thankful for the advice. Just because you said or posted here that you don't like "complaining" about situations (and truly I went through the first page of your posts) and found that you didn't use swear words or curse words. This is the major reason I decided to say my piece here from a fresh perspective and I know you'll gain unique insights from my years of experience as an older man. Last but NOT least, your going through a turning point now at 33 is simply an opportunity for you NOT to let the social consciousness OR societal pressures to weigh you down, BUT get into self-introspection, set CLEAR targets or measurable goals with your pen and paper, and then unleash the unlimited opportunities in you that'll be for the benefit of all. Some people don't hit that point of millionaire or billionaire success UNTIL they are 40, 50, or 60 years old... Yes, That's a historical fact of life! Also remember, "Money doesn't change a man, it ONLY amplifies what is already there." Read up on the "80/20 percent principle" otherwise known as the "Pareto Principle" to enable you to efficiently maximize your time. This is an advanced yet simple time management strategy when you get a hang of it. Cheers. P.S. Also, get (from a bookstore near you) a hard copy of the classic "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, where he clearly indicated the principles taken by America's early or pioneer USD millionaires from the 1800s right through to the early 1900s. I first read a hard copy of the book in 1995, and I still have the book among several business and finance-related books in my personal home library. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Love800(m): 9:40pm On May 29 |
What is copy writing? zanebaddo:
Brother you have a skill already. You can write well. Go into copy writing!!! |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by karkinase(m): 9:54pm On May 29 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. Sorry bro |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by zanebaddo(m): 11:16pm On May 29 |
Love800:
What is copy writing? search copy writing here on nairaland and how you can make money from it 1 Like |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Windblown2much: 11:43pm On May 29 |
franchasofficia:
This story is touching. Unfortunately one person alone who isn't a billionaire yet and not even a government official cannot make a visible change.
Seun please how can you pull willing Nairalanders together to assist some focused, willing, sincere and dedicated Nairalanders with a Nairaland skill acquisition and business training with some startup capital or tools at the end of the training? I am willing to be a part of it, unfortunately I am not a billionaire yet to embark on this journey alone, so we need a crowdfunding or joint committee of volunteers to do this, I am in.
Seun Osewa lead this, open a thread for it and call for volunteers and put the thread on front page everyday for 30 days let's get this started because APC government have shattered hope for most Nigerian youths, it's sad. We need to play our own part as willing individuals and help the few we can and also encourage more volunteers to come on board to pull more youths out of this situation.
Sighs such a thoughtful suggestion. Kudos👍 |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Love800(m): 7:01am On May 30 |
Ok. zanebaddo:
search copy writing here on nairaland and how you can make money from it |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 9:49am On May 30 |
|
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 9:52am On May 30 |
DAramis:
Condolences to you boss.
May God grant you the fortitude to bear the loss; and strength to take care of your new born babies Amen. Bless you, sir. I'm grateful. Blessedpalms:
I came online and saw this. It breaks me to hear this kind of thing o bro. Life is very difficult. Very difficult to understand and very difficult to navigate.
As humans, at a point we feel like we have planned it right only for a challenge which one can not control to happen.
I pray the giver of life and the taker of life gives your wife a peaceful comfort in Life beyond here. I believe their is Life beyond this current existence filled with pain and uncertainties.
I read up there where some said Jesus quickly died at 33. Then it occurs to me that in Numerology, 33 is a very difficult stage. It's also considered a "master number." A number emphasizing the importance of helping others.
But how can one help, someone who is passing through what one can not control?
This thing called life is very strange,
I never thought about this until now. Thank you for the insight, bro. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by olaztek(m): 9:55am On May 30 |
Life is hard but being a Nigerian is harder. If it's so difficult to get little things done such as nin, voter's card, sim card, potable water, electricity, minimum wage etc, how much more starting and running a business/career successfully.
It's not your fault my man, it's the environment/country you are born in. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 10:02am On May 30 |
Esthered:
Egbon, please accept my condolences.
Please respond to my mail when you can sir. Thank you, Esthered. I just did. pocohantas:
Oh No!!!!!
I can't believe I am reading this.
I am so sorry you are going through this, Acid. I don't have the right words. I don't.
I pray you find the strength to pull through. Accept my sympathy. I share in your grief and deeply saddened by your loss. May her soul continue to rest in peace.
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers, poco. Really grateful for this. oneman11:
sorry for the loss of your beloved. may the lord console your family Amen. Thank you so much, bro. karkinase:
Sorry bro Thank you, bro. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Nazgul: 11:15am On May 30 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. Oh no! This is so sad. The Lord is your strength bro. Take heart. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by virginboy1(m): 3:03pm On May 30 |
insightful thread |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by pansophist(m): 5:23pm On May 30 |
For men, the only time you ever feel free is when you are still with your parents.
When they carry your responsibilities. After that, you will miss that time a lot, because life becomes heavier, tougher, and more difficult as you grow older.
You will search for love, and you will hardly find it, it will be very lonely, and as you get older, time now seems like it's going so fast. Five years ago won't be much different from today, and you will just be insecure about where you are heading.
You will desire empathy but it will hardly come. Everyone you meet expects you to have it all figured out.
You will struggle with losing weight, making new friends, trusting, women, and facing your shadow, which is that there is nothing special about you.
About women, they will be a source of many of the pains you will experience, and also an indication that you are not living rightly. Because if you are playing the game right, women should reward, not punish you.
Then the most important thing you will need is peace, because outside is war. If anyone cannot give you peace, then you are gone, because your life is already stressful enough.
You can't even escape it. It will come, a natural consequence of being a man. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by shaybebaby(f): 5:42pm On May 30 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. It really shows strength that in your own pain, you found time to give comfort to another. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that in time, you will be able to smile again, that the pain becomes easier to bear and that your memories of her bring you comfort. She is not truly gone, you hold a part of her in your babies, and I truly pray that you all go on to have happy and fulfilled lives that she will be proud of. Be strong, for yourself and those babies.xx 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by karkinase(m): 3:17am On May 31 |
Being a Nigerian living as a man is not easy. We keep grinding |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Hathor5(f): 8:11am On May 31 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. I am so sorry Acid. Please accept my deepest condolences. I read it two days ago and I couldn`t sleep. Only God knows what you are going through right now and I pray you will find the strength to carry on. It will take a while. Take your time to mourn. I know you will feel the deepest despair on some days but I promise you that you will get better with time. I have also lost someone very close and dear to my heart and it took me what feels like a century to get better but it got easier with time. Much strength! I hope you have people to rely and lean on. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Sijo01(f): 5:07pm On May 31 |
Acidosis:
I sure will. Thank you once again, folake4u
Amen. Bless you, bro. thank you.
Amen. Thank you so much, bro.
Thank you so much, Sijo. Amen. I tried calling back but couldn't reach you. I'll call you again! Please be strong for your babies. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by descarado: 3:59am On Jun 03 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. What am I reading  Hold it together pls if you can. I am speechless. Can you send your email to me on a dead thread anytime you can. That's the only coherent thing I can come up with now. |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by doggedfighter(f): 4:30am On Jun 03 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. Omg, what did I just read? Acid, I am so sorry about your loss. This is sad😭😭😭 When I stopped seeing your post, I just thought you were serving a ban. I don't really have the right words but I do say just take heart and stay Strong for the babies. My condolences, Acid. 1 Like |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by tensazangetsu20(m): 5:23am On Jun 03 |
Acidosis:
Seeing the number 33 sends shivers down my spine again. I lost my wife hours after childbirth some 33 days ago. She was 33 when she passed. Big dreams, big things we both planned all seem like they're over, right? But really, they are not. She lived a purposeful life. I'm mourning, ignoring the many "if" and "what if" scenarios—the thoughts won't stop coming if you allow them—and finding the courage to take care of two newborn babies. My point? Don't be too hard on yourself. Embrace the challenges and learn to recognise the blessings. All will be well and, more importantly, remember that good or bad, fast or slow, everything will come to an end someday. Make that a reality check. I am so sorry men. I pray the good Lord gives you the strength to bear the loss. 1 Like |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Tonididdyx: 7:38am On Jun 03 |
The last thing on your mind if you're not financially stable is reproduction.
... If you matry, you go like born na? |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 3:10pm On Jun 04 |
Nazgul:
Oh no! This is so sad.
The Lord is your strength bro. Take heart. Thank you, boss. Really grateful for this. shaybebaby:
It really shows strength that in your own pain, you found time to give comfort to another.
I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that in time, you will be able to smile again, that the pain becomes easier to bear and that your memories of her bring you comfort.
She is not truly gone, you hold a part of her in your babies, and I truly pray that you all go on to have happy and fulfilled lives that she will be proud of.
Be strong, for yourself and those babies.xx Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, Shaybebaby. 1 Like |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 3:15pm On Jun 04 |
Hathor5:
I am so sorry Acid. Please accept my deepest condolences. I read it two days ago and I couldn`t sleep. Only God knows what you are going through right now and I pray you will find the strength to carry on. It will take a while. Take your time to mourn. I know you will feel the deepest despair on some days but I promise you that you will get better with time. I have also lost someone very close and dear to my heart and it took me what feels like a century to get better but it got easier with time. Much strength!
I hope you have people to rely and lean on.
Thank you, Hathor. Your words mean a lot to me. I'm praying for strength too and hope to share my experiences someday. Fortunately, I have a few people around to help out in the meantime. Sijo01:
I'll call you again!
Please be strong for your babies. Sure, anytime. I really need to. 1 Like |
| Re: These Fears Are Real At 33 by Acidosis(m): 3:20pm On Jun 04 |
descarado:
What am I reading
Hold it together pls if you can. I am speechless.
Can you send your email to me on a dead thread anytime you can.
That's the only coherent thing I can come up with now. Thank you so much, descarado. I’ve posted the email as requested. doggedfighter:
Omg, what did I just read?
Acid, I am so sorry about your loss.
This is sad😭😭😭
When I stopped seeing your post, I just thought you were serving a ban.
I don't really have the right words but I do say just take heart and stay Strong for the babies.
My condolences, Acid. Thank you so much, dogged. Staying strong as expected. |
