Sure. What changed was, I went from sending him average $1000 per month while we were long distance, only because I cared and because I could afford to make his life as comfortable as mine was. I went from sending him 8m Naira to get us a nice place to live in. I went from most of the time I’ve lived here, I was employed and making my own $$$ to this past November, I lost my job and since he had stepped up to take care of me. Albeit reluctantly because he’s complained about it every second, he’s complained about paying my house rent, telling me I’m a lazy ass. Forgetting that I had my own $$ for so long. So out of 2.5 years, he’s provided for me for 6 months of it snd in that time, I guess I’ve become less & less attractive.
He’s always said he loves me but his actions speak user and I’m here for benefits. & the stress level I’ve endured the past 6 months has been unbearable.
He does or did love me I believe but he also is so used to scamming women, I got treated with the same vibe & energy some of the time.
I can’t tell you how much I kick myself from this & how many HARD lessons I have learned.

SonofGod231:

It's obvious the guy doesn't see any need having you. Your value diminished some how if not the guy for stick around.
Lovescammers go for the biggest fish.

TheTravelingOne:
Sure. What changed was, I went from sending him average $1000 per month while we were long distance, only because I cared and because I could afford to make his life as comfortable as mine was. I went from sending him 8m Naira to get us a nice place to live in. I went from most of the time I’ve lived here, I was employed and making my own $$$ to this past November, I lost my job and since he had stepped up to take care of me. Albeit reluctantly because he’s complained about it every second, he’s complained about paying my house rent, telling me I’m a lazy ass. Forgetting that I took care of him & us for so long. So out of 2.5 years, he’s provided for me for 6 months of it snd in that time, I guess I’ve become less & less attractive.
He’s always said he loves me but his actions speak user and I’m here for benefits. & the stress level I’ve endured the past 6 months has been unbearable.

Is the person on nairaland?

I have no idea. & I don’t even care. Was just sharing my story because frankly, it’s unbelievable. Unfortunately it’s my life.

Orobokibo1:



Is the person on nairaland?

TheTravelingOne:
I have no idea. & I don’t even care. Was just dusting my story because frankly, it’s unbelievable. Unfortunately it’s my life.

Can please get me a steam Glft card

You want me to rescue another man only to be dumped?

Orobokibo1:


Can please get me a steam Glft card

TheTravelingOne:
You want me to rescue another man only to be dumped?

Its a gift card. How will I dump you?

TheTravelingOne:
Sure. What changed was, I went from sending him average $1000 per month while we were long distance, only because I cared and because I could afford to make his life as comfortable as mine was. I went from sending him 8m Naira to get us a nice place to live in. I went from most of the time I’ve lived here, I was employed and making my own $$$ to this past November, I lost my job and since he had stepped up to take care of me. Albeit reluctantly because he’s complained about it every second, he’s complained about paying my house rent, telling me I’m a lazy ass. Forgetting that I had my own $$ for so long. So out of 2.5 years, he’s provided for me for 6 months of it snd in that time, I guess I’ve become less & less attractive.
He’s always said he loves me but his actions speak user and I’m here for benefits. & the stress level I’ve endured the past 6 months has been unbearable.
He does or did love me I believe but he also is so used to scamming women, I got treated with the same vibe & energy some of the time.
I can’t tell you how much I kick myself from this & how many HARD lessons I have learned.

It must have been a nightmare for you. If he actually treated and judged you because of your money then he only cares about the dough not you. I think,if you get a good job and start making some money you will definitely get his attention again.
Just work on yourself and you will get all the love and attention you need from him.

I have started working again. I was actually blessed with a good job. Thing is after he’s abandoned me like this and after seeing this new girl he’s befriended, I don’t even want him anymore. I love him with all of me, or I used too so that feeling of not wanting him may change. But this moment, I just want to be alone and work, heal my soul and my heart and get myself physically back healthy. I don’t even think I can respect him as a man anymore. Plus out of anger, I’ve told every person he knows what he’s done to me so they know what kind of person he really is. & of course he’s pissed that I EXPOSED him.
So in my eyes, we’re finished. I don’t plan on looking back.
I have a bright future and I don’t need his stress & uncertainty. He’s really a for the streets kind of guy, I have learned.

SonofGod231:

It must have been a nightmare for you. If he actually treated and judged you because of your money then he only cares about the dough not you. I think,if you get a good job and start making some money you will definitely get his attention again.
Just work on yourself and you will get all the love and attention you need from him.
I’m moving to a new country since my job is remote and try and enjoy my life adding one more country I’ve actually lived in, so far it’s 3🙏🏾

TheTravelingOne:
I have started working again. I was actually blessed with a good job. Thing is after he’s abandoned me like this and after seeing this new girl he’s befriended, I don’t even want him anymore. I love him with all of me, or I used too so that feeling of not wanting him may change. But this moment, I just want to be alone and work, heal my soul and my heart and get myself physically back healthy. I don’t even think I can respect him as a man anymore. Plus out of anger, I’ve told every person he knows what he’s done to me so they know what kind of person he really is. & of course he’s pissed that I EXPOSED him.
So in my eyes, we’re finished. I don’t plan on looking back.
I have a bright future and I don’t need his stress & uncertainty. He’s really a for the streets kind of guy, I have learned.

It's a good one.I feel quite sad nice women like you are exploited. Certainly,time is all it takes you'll be fine.
Cheers!!

Thank you. I pray for better days ahead. & I feel optimistic they will come.

SonofGod231:

It's a good one.I feel quite sad nice women like you are exploited. Certainly,time is all it takes you'll be fine.
Cheers!!

TheTravelingOne:
Thank you. I pray for better days ahead. & I feel optimistic they will come.

Are you back with your family now?

TheTravelingOne:
Thank you. I pray for better days ahead. & I feel optimistic they will come.

Can you go to store

I'm guessing you weren't privy to the reputation of nigerian men. A minority of Nigerian men are good. Most are not. The number 1 scam in Nigeria is love scamming where they get men and women to fall in love with them over years, milk them of all their valuables and then dump them.

You've got 3 options now. The first which I'd recommend is you move back to America and rebuild your life. Forget about this man. He scammed you but you're still alive and you can still rebuild yourself. The second you remain in Nigeria and rebuild your life but there's a lot less opportunities and a lot more chaos in Nigeria. The third is to move to a different African country and rebuild your life. Ghana is peaceful and has a similar west African culture but Kenya would be the best option. Peaceful, economically booming, rich and the people are a lot more honest and welcoming than Nigerians.

TheTravelingOne:
He has broken the law. He has a fake $4000 SA visa. That’s a very good reason to deport him, especially a Nigerian will get beat then deported.
& normally I would cut my loss and move on but this time, I gave too much and got shitted on too many times. I want him to hurt too. For example, before I moved here, I sent him 8m to find a place for us to live in lekki. He had his own money too but I definitely did a lot for us.

People will tell you to let it go but don't. Get your revenge. He doesn't deserve sympathy. If you've got the resources I'd even hire a lawyer and get him listed as a romance scammer so that he's never allowed into the US or western Europe for the rest of his life.

RealityKings:


Can you go to store

Have some shame dude

TheTravelingOne:
Thank you. I pray for better days ahead. & I feel optimistic they will come.

Keep your head up. You did nothing wrong. It’s all on him for being a shitty human. Try and get enough money and go back to the US. Good luck

Thank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love again.

Darkestking:
I'm guessing you weren't privy to the reputation of nigerian men. A minority of Nigerian men are good. Most are not. The number 1 scam in Nigeria is love scamming where they get men and women to fall in love with them over years, milk them of all their valuables and then dump them.

You've got 3 options now. The first which I'd recommend is you move back to America and rebuild your life. Forget about this man. He scammed you but you're still alive and you can still rebuild yourself. The second you remain in Nigeria and rebuild your life but there's a lot less opportunities and a lot more chaos in Nigeria. The third is to move to a different African country and rebuild your life. Ghana is peaceful and has a similar west African culture but Kenya would be the best option. Peaceful, economically booming, rich and the people are a lot more honest and welcoming than Nigerians.

Darkestking:


People will tell you to let it go but don't. Get your revenge. He doesn't deserve sympathy. If you've got the resources I'd even hire a lawyer and get him listed as a romance scammer so that he's never allowed into the US or western Europe for the rest of his life.

Werey ni Bobo yi sha

Your own na revenge....did someone steal your kidney?

TheTravelingOne:
Thank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love again.

I kept out of the convoy since you started the thread but don't listen to the dude you quoted. He is a mæd man!!!

Things didn't work out and you are hurt, I understand but move on and leave him be. You have your job and your life intact, so be grateful. It's not a Nigerian men issue. It's just that people hurt people sometimes but there are good men out there, don't let anger and bile veil your eyes from seeing the good ones out there

TheTravelingOne:
I gave up everything I own and moved here from the states to marry my Nigerian man and build a new life with him. We were long distance for 2 years and I’ve now lived here 2.5 years. We’ve been on/off/on/off most of the time I’ve lived here.
Now finally, we had a come to Jesus with each other and decided to marry, relocate to South Africa and apply for him to live in the US. He left going to SA, saying he’s coming back in 3 weeks. 3 weeks has now turned to 3 months. & now, yesterday he told me he’s not coming back. He said he’s not marrying me and I should marry his eldest brother if I want to marry.
So now I sit here in SHOCK….
I honestly don’t know what to do. His family is also shocked.
While he’s there, a few weeks ago, I caught him with a girl on IG, which he denies.
We’ve had our ups and downs but I honestly never thought he would outright abandon me in Nigeria while he goes to another country. What kind of person does this
I’m still trying to pick myself up off the floor.

& before you say scam. I felt like I knew him since being together for 4 years, I believe he truly loved me but something happened since he went to SA. Maybe the girl I found him with or maybe he just decided he doesn’t want me after all. And that’s fine but this isn’t the way you leave someone, abandoning them in Nigeria.
Luckily for me, his family is supportive and helpful.
Otherwise I’d be 100% lost.
I’m just venting because honestly I’m in shock & hurting.

If America was the goal, he went to SA and realized he could get the same lifestyle he needed there without having to deal with the dehumanizing American immigration process.

[quote author=TheTravelingOne post=130511849]You want me to rescue another man only to be dumped?


Don’t do it, don’t be fooled by anyone,, after he knew what u are passing through he still have the mind to ask you for a gift card, gosh

[/color]

Jessez:
TheTravelingOneThank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love
again.



Some people don’t value what they have until they get to lose it,,, I know how disappointed you feel especially as it’s is coming from someone you really love and trust,, but keep this in mind that everything happens for a reason, maybe God don’t want u guys together God want something better for you that’s why things turn out this way

TheTra

Jessez:
TheTravelingOneThank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love
again.



Some people don’t value what they have until they get to lose it,,, I know how disappointed you feel especially as it’s is coming from someone you really love and trust,, but keep this in mind that everything happens for a reason, maybe God don’t want u guys together God want something better for you that’s why things turn out this way

veling[color=#006600]OneThank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love
again.



Some people don’t value what they have until they get to lose it,,, I know how disappointed you feel especially as it’s is coming from someone you really love and trust,, but keep this in mind that everything happens for a reason, maybe God don’t want u guys together God want something better for you that’s why things turn out this way

[/color][color=#770077]

TheTravelingOne:
But we’re not married….so….

Thank God you didn’t even married him maybe the marriage would have been hell God just save you from his hand, just dust yourself and move on you still have a better future.

I stay around ikoyi very close to lekki, if u don’t mind we can see hang out, you have to move on, and I wil tell you the appropriate legal authorities to report to they wil help you out and get to him, it’s breach of contract or agreement,

it’s also online dating scam the truth is he never love you he just wana be catching cruise with you used you waste you time and all, you don’t have to spend a dime I wil personally help you out to get back on him trust me he is a street boy, you are too precious to get married to such irresponsible person

I believe you are not the only one he is doing this too he might be scamming allot of women all in the name of getting married to them,, before he keep on damaging Nigeria imagine the more it’s most be stop, some women can even commit sucide for this it very wrong.

TheTravelingOne:
Thank you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I was scammed. But keeping up a facade for 4 years, how can someone do that I ask myself. But the writing is on the wall even though he would never admit to it.
I plan to move to another African country because I want to stay on the continent and when I get settled, I’ll let the authorities handle him and try not to feel guilty about it. Imagine feeling guilty for reporting the person who abandoned me in his country. Smh. I need to heal & not let this keep me from experiencing love again.

You're welcome and I understand your pain. Unfortunately some people just fucking suck. If you do plan to stay in Africa definitely look into Kenya or Ghana. Life in Kenyas a lot more comfortable, rich and it's the perfect mix between what you're used to in America and an African experience. However, Ghana is more welcoming, friendly and safe.

Yes. I’ve learned the hard way not to trust anyone. I’ll be ok, in time. Right now, it’s passing through this dark time and trying to not to think about what just happened. I’ve already had some positive things happening for me and I look forward to much more. & Maybe I’ll change my mind about this but I doubt it, I still plan to report him for his visa fraud. I don’t think I can live with myself if I just go on and let him turn my life upside down without turning his upside down. Im not normally a revenge seeker but this isn’t that, not in my mind anyway. He neeeds to learn he can’t do this to people and go on with his life unscathed. He will learn.

Darkestking:


You're welcome and I understand your pain. Unfortunately some people just fucking suck. If you do plan to stay in Africa definitely look into Kenya or Ghana. Life in Kenyas a lot more comfortable, rich and it's the perfect mix between what you're used to in America and an African experience. However, Ghana is more welcoming, friendly and safe.

TheTravelingOne:
I’m not a liability like you are saying. I work and make USD, I’m good financially. But being thrown away and abandoned in a foreign country doesn’t feel good.

You won't go back home till his family robs/extort/scam and harm you abi?
If you love your life better go back home.

He's not coming back again and only used you.
Run for your life my sister.

Pick yourself up, raise your head up and become the best version of yourself.

TheTravelingOne:
Yes. I’ve learned the hard way not to trust anyone. I’ll be ok, in time. Right now, it’s passing through this dark time and trying to not to think about what just happened. I’ve already had some positive things happening for me and I look forward to much more. & Maybe I’ll change my mind about this but I doubt it, I still plan to report him for his visa fraud. I don’t think I can live with myself if I just go on and let him turn my life upside down without turning his upside down. Im not normally a revenge seeker but this isn’t that, not in my mind anyway. He neeeds to learn he can’t do this to people and go on with his life unscathed. He will learn.

TheTravelingOne:
Yes. I’ve learned the hard way not to trust anyone. I’ll be ok, in time. Right now, it’s passing through this dark time and trying to not to think about what just happened. I’ve already had some positive things happening for me and I look forward to much more. & Maybe I’ll change my mind about this but I doubt it, I still plan to report him for his visa fraud. I don’t think I can live with myself if I just go on and let him turn my life upside down without turning his upside down. Im not normally a revenge seeker but this isn’t that, not in my mind anyway. He neeeds to learn he can’t do this to people and go on with his life unscathed. He will learn.

You have to move on, you can't dwell on the past forever.

Nobody is robbing or scamming me, at least not anymore. I’m in very good hands this moment. I may seem slow and stupid but trust me I’m not, I was just blinded by love and let this mess happen. I’ve since taken off the rose colored glasses & thinking way more clearly. & please bro, I’m not looking for his return to me. There’s too many men on this earth plus I’m good by myself for a good while.

Elxandre:

You won't go back home till his family robs/extort/scam and harm you abi?
If you love your life better go back home.

He's not coming back again and only used you.
Run for your life my sister.

Yes. I am moving on and I have picked myself up, dusted off and moving forward. It’s not been easy but I’m better now and I have a clear direction ahead. I’m actually excited for what’s to come for me. I have the money, though not rich but more than enough and that gives me freedom & options.

meshi1990:
You have to move on, you can't dwell on the past forever.

TheTravelingOne:
Yes. I’ve learned the hard way not to trust anyone. I’ll be ok, in time. Right now, it’s passing through this dark time and trying to not to think about what just happened. I’ve already had some positive things happening for me and I look forward to much more. & Maybe I’ll change my mind about this but I doubt it, I still plan to report him for his visa fraud. I don’t think I can live with myself if I just go on and let him turn my life upside down without turning his upside down. Im not normally a revenge seeker but this isn’t that, not in my mind anyway. He neeeds to learn he can’t do this to people and go on with his life unscathed. He will learn.

You absolutely should report him. Bleep letting things go. Get even with those that hurt you or they'll just hurt someone else the same way down the road.

As for what happened to you, you're right. It will pass. Keep looking forward and to bigger and better things. Focus on your upcoming move. You said you were thinking about another African country right? Have you made any choices?