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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? (16799 Views)
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Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 7:16pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
even though i dont voice it out loud, within my heart i have this desperation to find a husband. i dont know why i feel this way. atimes i feel i am weird to feel this desperate, i just want some1 to tell me this is absolutely normal for the major part of my life, i have been focused on school, now i am almost rounding up, i beginning to feel this pressure to be married. i am still very young but i feel so mature inside. i have had a few bfs in my life but now i want something more serious. i want commitment, i want love, i want a family. coming from a typical igbo family, marrying young is something the family is excited about my family is constantly reminding me of my single status and how they would love to have a son inlaw it might sound a bit strange but 75% of my friends are married. sometimes i feel so jealous. my youngest friend just turned 20 and is married as-well and heavily pregnant. i have been in Canada for a couple of years and finding a husband here has not exactly been easy. or should i say finding a man that meets my criteria is very hard. its hard to find true christian men, men that are comfortable and serious with life, family oriented men and men that would love me no matter the situation. the western culture has clouded our believe so much that no one ever really marries for the sake of love. i love "LOVE", i breath love, i think love is so beautiful and i would never want to settle but with the pressure from family and most of my friends being married i feel the urge to want to settle down. i'm just 23 years old, is this feeling normal? i feel so mature inside and sometimes i feel the need to hang out with people who are not within my age group. i am not a desperate girl, i know my worth and i know some day the right man would come. so how do i quench this feeling? is there anyone out there in my shoes? 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by slimyem: 7:38pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
Once a girl begins to step out of her teens,the thought of marriage constantly comes to mind and she starts to wonder which of her numerous suitors will be the one. your feelings are perfectly normal but at the same time,you shouldn't let this be the drive for your life. c'mon,there's a whole lot of things to think about and do while waiting for the right man to come along.work,travel,socialise,explore a lot of other hobbies and focus on other dreams. never show how desperate you are.trust me,a lot of men out here can see through that. above all ,be yourself . goodluck!! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by untainted: 7:41pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
@OP There may be many in your shoes but the best bet IMO is to continue to set goals for yourself and achieve your dreams. As you round up school at 23 (whether first or second degree), set yourself another goal and remember to be realistic in your choice of men. The right (not perfect) man will always come; don't fail to recognise him because he is not wearing "that kind of shoe or whatever." Shine your eyes! |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by 195(f): 7:42pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
OP Seek no further your future husband 190 is here to save you from your distress ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by ArQueBusieR(m): 7:49pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
Mahn! This is so scary!! |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Nobody: 8:01pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
^very scary, i'd add |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Flashaldrin(m): 8:11pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
@op, please answer this questions before i comment further 1. are you desperate because their are no suitors yet? 2. are you desperate because you havent met your criteria, including love? 3. or are you desperate because of peer and family pressure?? |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 8:19pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
i think i am desperate mostly because of the fact dt i hvnt found any suitor that meets my criteria. of course family pressure nd friends getting married adds to it. thnks evry1 for ur honest response. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 8:23pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
@POSTER, well its a normal feeling. you know its not true when u said there are no real christian men here in canada. funny, some of guys think same thing too though. mine was too much that anytime im alone, the thought of marriage just come. i ask the same question too and i was told its normal but i shouldnt let it dominate my thoughts. one again there are good christian men here in Canada. hola at steveomoese@yoo.com. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 8:41pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
thanks for your honest opinion. i just wanted some1 to tell me i am not crazy. lol it feels so good to know that some1 feels the same way too i live in a small town so i haven't really met alot of people. so u might be right, there are good Christians in Canada, i just haven't found them. ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by 195(f): 8:57pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
OP seek no further 190 is here for u My contact is in my profile - GOD told me you are the woman ive been searching for ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Orikinla(m): 8:59pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
190_@:I laugh 3 times ![]() ![]() ![]() But it is not funny to women o. Many single men are on strike. 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by 195(f): 9:02pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
Orikinla: well God has it in the scriptures Look well 190 - for what you seek is right in front of you I looked into the future and it wasnt very clear - I looked and looked and i saw nnemdi21 and God said GO!! she is the one meant for you OP - Here i am I would kiss you 24/7 & Bring breakfast for you in bed ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Yorisb: 9:20pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
nnemdi21: Ma'am, take a deep breath and some fresh air too. . . Responsible and true Christian Men abound in Canada (and, indeed, world over). . . All u need do is to be less desperate, be open-minded, search wella and wait patiently. However, a plethora of condition/criteria and a paucity of same in reciprocity will be, to put it mildly, selfish. Ma'am, give Dudes some 'fair deals' and Good Luck in your quest for. . . . .! ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by 195(f): 9:23pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
OP Beware of one dude called 2buff Hes wanted by Nigerian FBI he would soon grace this thread On 2nd thought why dont u just give me a chance ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Yorisb: 9:30pm On Dec 16, 2011 |
OP with all your might please avoid this Dude.[size=4pt]^^[/size] To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Xcuse me pass jare! |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Nobody: 12:27am On Dec 17, 2011 |
nnemdi21:While majority may frown and scorn at your seeming desperation, you are absolutely normal! Lemme say, desperately Normal! ![]() for the major part of my life, i have been focused on school, now i am almost rounding up, i beginning to feel this pressure to be married.Very good, and very advisable too! Life is a stage! It's step by step. If you miss a step, you'll have to pay for it one way or another. Focusing on your education first was the way to go, but you are not through with schooling yet, so this pressure to be married, while natural, but it's really uncalled for! I mean the pressure! Remember, step by step! When your are done with school, the next step resurfaces! Dont be in a hurry to jump out of the frying pan and straight into the fire! i am still very young but i feel so mature inside. i have had a few bfs in my life but now i want something more serious. i want commitment, i want love, i want a family.Yes! Intellectual Maturity has no relations with age! A 23 year old could said to be more mature than a 40 year old. Simply because of the may issues are tackled or handled by him/her! Naturally you'll want a family, but i'll like you to stop allowing happenings and sayings of people around to affect you, and make you feel that pressure the more! Why is your family constantly reminding you? Yes, they could be concerned, but constantly? NO NO! They wont live with the man would they? With these kind of pressures, you may end up getting married to the wrong man! And when you do, who's gonna bear the brunt? Who's gonna be there? Dont be surprised that in the case of eventual fallouts, these same family members would be the first to castigate you, for making a wrong choice! Pressure from family, pressure from seeing your friends get married, all these could make you frustrated and obviously distracted from your set objectives! Take a chill pill lady! Marrying young doesnt mean happiness! Which would you prefer? Marrying young at age 24, and become sad in a few years, or marrying at 27 at live happily as a married woman? Life is not always about what we want! Allow your self to be past the time, when your hormones, emotions, thoughts, pressures etc, would be all behind you! So that you'd be in a better position, to make informed decisions! i have been in Canada for a couple of years and finding a husband here has not exactly been easy. or should i say finding a man that meets my criteria is very hard.It's hard because no man is perfect! You CANT have it all in a man! Forget the hype. Forget the movies! Forget the dreams! The perfect man simply does NOT exist! If you find a man that has 6 out of 10 qualities your future husband must have, pls, go for him, and try to help him work out the other 4! Love the imperfect man perfectly! Western Culture clouded our beliefs? What our? Would you jump off the bridge simply because i asked you to? The western culture DOESNT make decisions for you. . . It influences your decisions, so with that added influence, you may be cajoled to base the premise of your decisions on their culture! Dont be what? Dont be fooled by anyone! ![]() ![]() ![]() i love "LOVE", i breath love, i think love is so beautiful and i would never want to settle Maturity comes with the ability to make wise decisions when needed! At first, those decisions may seem to be to your detriment, but in the long run? It always works out fine! Yes there are loads of people in your shoes! But they are also seeking for answers! I'd really suggest you continue mingling with people that are not within your age group! not because you feel mature to do so, or that it is the new cool, but because in the realistic sense of it, you tend to gain more knowledge from them! Especially the married ones! Ask them questions. Ask how they have managed to stick together as married couples. Trust me, your database of knowledge and information is sure to increase! Armed with such knowledge, you would clearly see desperation & pressures for what they really are: Distractions! The right man would come. But what are you doing to make yourself the right woman for him? ![]() Dont allow desperation and pressures to be cloud your sense of reasoning! Do everything in the appointed time, put desires in the appointed place, and sit back, relax, put on your 3D glasses, and watch everything fall into place!. . . ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by bekay911(f): 1:33am On Dec 17, 2011 |
190_@: 190_@:and d bible says : for 190 goes to n fro looking for who to devour. Beware of d false prophets who come preaching in ma na,e for dey r wouf wouf in sheep clothings |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by MrsChima1(f): 1:38am On Dec 17, 2011 |
It is not a necessity to have a husband or wife BUT SOME PEOPLE can't embrace being single so they would seek anything and everything just to avoid singleness. It is unnatural to be desperate for a man because you have other things going on and your "bandaid" is having a husband. If you find a good man that wants to marry you that is great, however being married isn't going to solve emotional, psychological, sexual, mentally, spiritually, and physiological issues that may be plaguing your life. Take care of those ills first and then allow TIME to introduce you to a wonderful man. ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Chimezie198(m): 1:39am On Dec 17, 2011 |
Dreams come true. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by tpia5: 2:09am On Dec 17, 2011 |
poster, interact more with people and let them know you're searching, if this is indeed a serious thread. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by 195(f): 3:02am On Dec 17, 2011 |
bekay911: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by iice(f): 3:20am On Dec 17, 2011 |
Yes it's normal for most people especially womanoids. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by obowunmi(m): 3:53am On Dec 17, 2011 |
Shine your eyes well. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by JgregeJung: 5:32am On Dec 17, 2011 |
@OP I guess you're a good Christian woman, so you should know what to do. Ask and you shall receive!! ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Jenifa1: 5:41am On Dec 17, 2011 |
yes it's normal.
false. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Andrew3(m): 9:02am On Dec 17, 2011 |
Hahahaha your parents wants a grand child. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by born2boink(m): 11:58am On Dec 17, 2011 |
You're just 23 yrs old but even 18 yrs in Nigeria may have had their kokotin worn out and your few boyfriend assumption might be up to 20 guys, What really matter is not the age but 1. Check yourself,maybe you are looking for ready made man 2. Check yourself,you may have been using the few boyfriends and they don't really trust you 3. You might probably might have worn out down there and wanting to stick to someone who will manage it for life. But 1.Never settle for Less 2.Never play a man for recharge cards,Brazilian hair 3.Never date a guy for cash or wealth cause you might regret the relationship later, 4.Stand attending Catholic church because most igbo goes there and they are mostly singles |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Ranoscky(m): 12:11pm On Dec 17, 2011 |
Brb |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Yorisb: 12:27pm On Dec 17, 2011 |
Jenifa_: Why the contrary supposition, Ma'am? ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Gague: 1:00pm On Dec 17, 2011 |
"Ask and You shall receive". |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by otokx(m): 1:01pm On Dec 17, 2011 |
Looks like a Nigerian thing |
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