Hello All,

I'm intending to  marry this girl I love and who loves me but the problem is that I am HIV positive and on treatment. My viral remains undetectable and my CD4 count is is over 700. She's aware of my condition and willing to carry on with the arrangement because once all precautions are taken, her level of risk will drastically reduce. We don't intend to risk trying for children unless we go through Fluid washing. However her church (Anglican church) wants us to undergo HIV test. The problem is that we don't want to go public with this information. What options are open to me?

I must tell u the raw truth!!! i believe u both are TRUE christian and u love each other.

Now, if possible, suspend the marriage (except the church can keep the information confidential to avoid embarrassment). Pray together and believe God for a miracle because all things are possible with Him.

It's not medically safe for your unborn children.

God is with u.

Bros, why you no wan make the church know?

UKAj:

Hello All,

I'm intending to  marry this girl I love and who loves me but the problem is that I am HIV positive and on treatment. My viral remains undetectable and my CD4 count is is over 700. She's aware of my condition and willing to carry on with the arrangement because once all precautions are taken, her level of risk will drastically reduce. We don't intend to risk trying for children unless we go through Fluid washing. However her church (Anglican church) wants us to undergo HIV test. The problem is that we don't want to go public with this information. What options are open to me?

If your viral remains undetectable, then it seems to me that your status will always read negative right? how did you find out in the first place? go and see a councillor. NLders go just bash you beyond repair

Lemme pass for the Pro!

Find another church or get married in court.

Nairalanders!kindly help me click on d link below,like d story in it.u can also help invite ur frnd by copyn nd update d link as ur status for friends to like it.tanx as u dnt feel less concern.here is d link
www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=319585604732340&id=158495220841380&refid=20&_ft_a=100001547612636&_ft_tf=319585604732340&_ft_tpi=158495220841380&_ft_ti=100&_ft_aoi=158495220841380&_ft_fth=5e1cd21ac484a8de&_ft_time_ft=1324858091

Talk to your pastor and discuss your concerns with him, I am sure whatever the outcome of your meeting with him, He should be able to keep it confidential.

You and your fiance should tell the church that you're not doing the test and it's none of their business why. If they don't agree, then go to a registry.

You need to be very careful that you don't infect your woman though. I've known people in similar positions, where the other partner got infected after a few years. It's really hard to maintain discipline with the precautions over the long term.

Omo this one serious gan o.

OP, how you wan marry with HIV? you wicked pass Boko Haram.

Hablad47:

Nairalanders!kindly help me click on d link below,like d story in it.u can also help invite your frnd by copyn nd update d link as your status for friends to like it.tanx as u dnt feel less concern.here is d link
www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=319585604732340&id=158495220841380&refid=20&_ft_a=100001547612636&_ft_tf=319585604732340&_ft_tpi=158495220841380&_ft_ti=100&_ft_aoi=158495220841380&_ft_fth=5e1cd21ac484a8de&_ft_time_ft=1324858091

You should get a life you rotten scoundrel and stop posting spam here. That's what you've been doing on a lot of threads.

Are u sure you hvn't infected her already?

Madcow:

[size=28pt]You are a wicked man! [/size]

why u insulting the op?

Digriz:

Are u sure you hvn't infected her already?

nakedall:

OP, how you wan marry with HIV? you wicked pass Boko Haram.

27naira:

Bros, why you no wan make the church know?

If your viral remains undetectable, then it seems to me that your status will always read negative right? how did you find out in the first place? go and see a councillor. NLders go just bash you beyond repair

Comments like these ones above really shows the level of immaturity of many nairalanders; in as much as it is good for business to have a free for all show, I think seun we can carve a corner out for the more matured minds. The poster came here looking for answers, but He might end up leaving with insults.

Bribe you pastor,they all love money.

I believe that if u r HIV positive,then you are HiV positive for real, no matter d miracle!n I cnt imagine anybdy takin such a lame risk to go ahead wid weddin plans,,m sorry to say,buh that ur girlfrend must be delusional!I have worked in a hospital and seen how many people get infected with dis virus on a daily basis,,and it sure does kills, plz for Τ̣̣ђё love of God,tell dt girl to go and marry another man,,love isn't blind!

@ OP: your medical record doesn't concern the church.

U mustnt wed in a church!
Find the nearest registry.

This thread shows how ignorant most Nigerians still are about HIV. I blame the government and their rètarded awareness campaign that somehow manages to talk about HIV without passing any useful information to the public.

Just so you know, if OP and his future wife use condoms properly and consistently, the chances of her getting infected are close to zero. Sadly, the religious nuts have managed to stop the government from doing any form of condom promotion despite they being the only effective, practical way to stop the spread of HIV. The muslim fundamentalists and born agains prefer that we keep decieving ourselves with that abstinence crap. As if it's possible to convince people to stop having sèx.

What rubbish.

@op u should tell 'em not to bother, but if they insist, maybe u should consider using another church

If truely she knows about the condition on ground and willing to take a chance, then have go at it. Goodluck to you.

But seriously, i admire the courage of the said lady.

pornication is not good, beware of HIV/AIDS.

Good luck to the pair of you.
Have you contacted your previous parteners and told them, they could be infected also.

Its none of the church's business!!!

Honestly, the childish comments above really shows how Nigerians can't think. Someone came here for advice and some of you are spewing nonsense. He shouldn't marry because he has HIV? Wtf. He has every right to marry!!! He has stated that the woman knows; she's an adult and has made her choice. He is not deceiving her so I'm not sure why he is a wicked man?

Anyway OP, ignore those immature comments.

As for your issue, although it's you and your fiancees right to keep your HIV status private, if the church requires the test for marriage, the best thing to do is to be upfront with your pastor. I'm simply saying this because the last thing you want to do is deceive the church so you guys can get married. It doesn't seem like the right way to enter your marriage- lies.
However, if it's not imperative that you guys marry in the church why don't you just go to court or find another church that doesn't require the test? Alternatively, you can take the test and ask the pastor not to discuss it with other members- that you and your fiancee keep your personal issues private. Watch the way the pastor conducts himself and discuses other members in the church. Doing so will allow you to see the level of his integrity and whether or not he can actually hold his word and/or the information.

All the best in your marriage- and yes, you have every right to marry. Ignore the fools posting above.

The issue is far more serious now.
He must contact his former girlfriends and inform them.
Nigeria is a ticking time bomb.  

juxdeezee:

I believe that if u r HIV positive,then you are HiV positive for real, no matter d miracle!n I cnt imagine anybdy takin such a lame risk to go ahead wid weddin plans,,m sorry to say,buh that your girlfrend must be delusional!I have worked in a hospital and seen how many people get infected with dis virus on a daily basis,,and it sure does kills, plz for Τ̣̣ђё love of God,tell dt girl to go and marry another man,,love isn't blind!

Abegi, speak for yourself and not for others. Choice differs. How dare you say that his girlfriend is 'delusional', just for the simple fact that she made a choice to stick with her man, no matter what. Who are you to question her choice?

nakedall:

OP, how you wan marry with HIV? you wicked pass Boko Haram.

You are a borderline dolt!

Madcow:

[size=28pt]You are a wicked man! [/size]

Shut up if you don't have anything meaningful to contribute.

otooro:

I must tell u the raw truth!!! i believe u both are TRUE christian and u love each other.

Now, if possible, suspend the marriage (except the church can keep the information confidential to avoid embarrassment). Pray together and believe God for a miracle because all things are possible with Him.

It's not medically safe for your unborn children.

God is with u.  

On what authority do you stand to proclaim that it is not medically safe for the unborn children.

JaaizTech:

Comments like these ones above really shows the level of immaturity of many nairalanders; in as much as it is good for business to have a free for all show, I think seun we can carve a corner out for the more matured minds. The poster came here looking for answers, but He might end up leaving with insults.

God bless the womb that produced you. If I can get more of people like you, then, there is hope for this country. Sometimes, I'm amazed by the level of ignorance about vital health issues in this country. No wonder HIV continues to be a scourge in this country. HIV patients deserves our love and encouragement. It's unfair to stigmatize based on the health of an individual.

@OP
I commend you for coming here to seek for our advice. I'm must assure you that you are ok, healthwise. You are even healthier than some poster here who are apparently well. Continue to live positively. As far as I'm concerned, the wedding issue should be the least of your concern. You can opt for other pentecostal churches. I also commend you for notifying your partner about your health status. I must tell you that your wife-to-be is a rare breed. Live your life normally. Your help is on the way. Many promising research on the cure of HIV is on-going as I'm posting my comment. Some are in stage 3 of clinical trial, and in few yrs to come, the market will be flooded with drugs that can cure HIV. Have a belief that you will not die as a result of your present condition.
Be compliant wit your medication and feed well. I can estimate that your serum titre of HIV virus is less than 1000, with that, your risk of transmission of the virus to your partner is markedly reduced. Ofcourse you can raise your family without sperrm washing. It is well with you. Remember that, tough times don't last, but tough men do.

I blv churches shld maintain a kind of church-client confidentialitiez abt stuffs lyk ds.or u cn go to a church dat is nt familiar wit both familiez(to avoid a case of familiarity breeds contempt) considerin hw sensitive d issue at hand is. Goodluck to u 2

Poster, how long have you been infected ?
Do you have any idea who you may have caught it from ?
How many different sexual parteners have you had in the last year ?

tttonero:

Poster, how long have you been infected ?
Do you have any idea who you may have caught it from ?
How many different intimate parteners have you had in the last year ?

These are purposeless rhetoric questions that will contribute nothing to the issues bordering the poster

@evil brain, you are advising the poster and his future wife to use condoms properly and consistently,isnt it?Let me ask,what is the purpose of getting married in the 1st place if you will not conceive a child or can you conceive with the use of condoms.@op,i understand your plight but i'll advice you to cancel or at least postpone your wedding.Your cda count is over 700 today but what of tommorrow?Most people have seen their cda count dwindled with time.So,take time to monitor your medication and success rate before attempting to spread a deadly virus to your supposedly loved future wife and kids.Dont forget to talk to 1 or even more counsellors who has successfully handled people with similar situations as yours.Attempting to bypass the church instruction could be a fatal mistake in the future!!