There is no church that we join you together knowing fully well of your predicarment. Anyway, I hope you have really opened up to your partner as you claim? If that is the case, just make sure the parent of the lady knows about it. Once that is done, well, you might need to go to registry, but as of the church, i don't think so.

What if there are several infected people involved, going round have unprotected sex.
All ex parteners of the poster, no wonder Africa is riddled with aids.
Thats my last word on this matter,  mean while debate the more impotrant issue.

UKAj:

Hello All,

I'm intending to  marry this girl I love and who loves me but the problem is that I am HIV positive and on treatment. My viral remains undetectable and my CD4 count is is over 700. She's aware of my condition and willing to carry on with the arrangement because once all precautions are taken, her level of risk will drastically reduce.[b] We don't intend to risk trying for children unless we go through Fluid washing. [/b]However her church (Anglican church) wants us to undergo HIV test. The problem is that we don't want to go public with this information. What options are open to me?

brother, you gave more info than was necessary - the bolded part was not necessary for us to know - as for advice, i would advice you to go to the registry - then after your marriage, join another church. Alternatively, join another church that would not ask you for any proof.  

Ronalmagic:

i'll advice you to cancel or at least postpone your wedding

Why?!

Till when?!

Ronalmagic:

Most people have seen their cda count dwindled with time.

So he should not marry because his CD4 count will dwindle over time?

What if it doesn't?

Ronalmagic:

take time to monitor your medication and success rate before attempting to spread a deadly virus to your supposedly loved future wife and kids

Oh God!

This ignorance is deafening

Ronalmagic:

Attempting to bypass the church instruction could be a fatal mistake in the future!!

That will be the best decision he will ever take concerning his future

nakedall:

OP, how you wan marry with HIV? you wicked pass Boko Haram.

Are u people dumb?He said the girl knows about his HIV status.

tttonero:

Poster, how long have you been infected ?
Do you have any idea who you may have caught it from ?
How many different intimate parteners have you had in the last year ?

tttonero:

What if there are several infected people involved, going round have unprotected sex.
All ex parteners of the poster, no wonder Africa is riddled with aids.
Thats my last word on this matter,  mean while debate the more impotrant issue.

The question is asked by the attending physician. The reason for the question being to identify and screen his partners. Then place the positive ones on treatment. It's none of your business to ask those questions

Sadly some of the dumb posters here may be ignorantly HIV positive.
The reason why the OP wont want to go public with this issue in the church is already obvious from the dump comments here, are these not the same people who make up the churches?

Man you got yourself a woman that truly loves for agreeing to marry you inspite of the stigma people with your condition are made to endure in Nigeria.

If your church is true and believe in God's healing power then they should not be carrying out tests but rather healing you before the marriage. See the hypocrisy here? They teach you to believe in miracles yet they themselves do not believe in such things. My friend if what you said about her knowing your status is true, screw your church and marry somewhere else.

1stCitizen:

Man you got yourself a woman that truly loves for agreeing to marry you inspite of the stigma people with your condition are made to endure in Nigeria.

If your church is true and believe in God's healing power then they should not be carrying out tests but rather healing you before the marriage. See the hypocrisy here? They teach you to believe in miracles yet they themselves do not believe in such things. My friend if what you said about her knowing your status is true, screw your church and marry somewhere else.

very true, very few Nigerian Christians really understand the God they serve most are just a bunch of hypocrites. The important thing is that his woman knows and as for someone saying children are the main reason for getting married that's exactly why most marriages are messed up. The truth is most 9ja churches do not even understand the meaning of confidentiality, before the Op knows what is happening they will be using him to preach sermon. I beg go to a registry, as long as you have your traditional wedding and registry you are just as married. God is present anywhere you invite him to

Use the REGISTRY please. I'm not into religion though. I advice you use registry or just do traditional marriage. And be very careful; I hope you guys can manage with condoms only.

Ronalmagic:

@evil brain, you are advising the poster and his future wife to use condoms properly and consistently,isnt it?Let me ask,what is the purpose of getting married in the 1st place if you will not conceive a child or can you conceive with the use of condoms.

As crazy as it may sound to you, making babies is not the only reason why people get married. In any case, as OP mentioned, there are ways of achieving a pregnancy while significantly reducing the risk of the woman getting infected. Most of these methods are expensive, and they can't eliminate the risk entirely, but if his fiance is fully aware of ehat she's getting into, then it's no one's business what they do.

JaaizTech:

Comments like these ones above really shows the level of immaturity of many nairalanders; in as much as it is good for business to have a free for all show, I think seun we can carve a corner out for the more matured minds. The poster came here looking for answers, but He might end up leaving with insults.

see mature mind in his seventies talking rubbish,hw do u knw a mature mind?

D best advice i can give u is 2 go 4 a court wedding, all is well

The level of immaturity currently on display on Nairaland is one of the reasons why the First Citizens have since vanished into diaspora to other more same forums. There is indeed a brain drain from Nairaland. I remember the good old days. I'm indeed filled with nostalgia of its pristine past. The earlier Seun the FO does something the better or else the forum will be overtaken by drain pipe rats!

The poster's partner is not aware of his status.

na by force make you marry for church?
just do the registry stuff and be done with it; you don;t need a church wedding for God to recognise it and the law recognises registry

I've seen so many similar cases to the op so I'm not shocked. @op, as a medical personnel who spent one of my postings seeing just hiv patients for more than 4 months, I can tell u that u are one of the healthiest hiv positive person I knw. Undetectable virus mean hiv copies of less than 50 and CD4 of 700 is more than one can hope for. Can u ve sex with ur wife even without condoms to make babies? Yes and No. Just like we encourage hiv positive mothers to exclusively breastfeed for 6 months if they re unable to afford artficial feeds even though in the west, it is not ideal, u can if with undectable virus, high CD4, and on anti HIV drugs to just that with the least possible chance of infecting ur wife since invitro fertilization or ICSI is quite expensive. Wishing u all the best. Cannot really offer any advice concerning the church. Not my forte. Just want to encourage u that u re on the right path and will live a fulfilling life no matter ur situation. My regards to ur fiance.

@OP

Your girlfriend must be very desperate to agree to marry a man with HIV. I guess that is what happens when people live in a society where immense pressure is put on them to get married at all cost. They result to marrying HIV and AIDS patients, add to that midgets who look like 6 year old boys. Anyways, goodluck to you both.

HIV is becoming less of a terminal disease and more like a chronic disease, just like Diabetics.

He told his wife-to be and she agreed, so there is nothing wrong with the marriage taking place.

Isn't it ironic that the Church that preaches faith are the same people saying you should go for HIV test? Why can't they use faith to heal HIV patients?

I have never been a fan of religion because of so much hypocrisy. They will embrace science and technology on one hand ( tell you to go for HIV test; a disease found because of scientific discovery) and shun against safe-sex being taught in our society on the other hand.

Vatican at one time condemned the use of condoms despite the fact that most of its churches are in developing countries where HIV is rife.

huh

OP,

If the church insist on the test, then I would advise you go ahead and do your wedding in the registry. The important person here is your fiancee who has agreed going ahead despite your status.

Wish you guys the very best.

Poster, your problems are nothng in the face of God. Go to SCOAN and both of you will be healed. After that, go for a taste. Your result will be negative, then you can go to your church and wed.

Go to SCOAN for deliverance.

[b][size=16pt]Evil, knowing you are HiV positive, and you con this innocent young lady into marriage when you are an atomic bomb waiting to go off - you will rot in 'HELL'.

Also, you want the Church that will be conducting the wedding not to know of your hellish Health status and devilish plans - satan, you can not win, for your soul is already rottening in hell!

And knowing you're HiV positive, I'm sure, you'd been sleeping with this innocent girl, haven't you?

So, out of your own selfishness and wickedness, you'd already condemned an innocent soul to hell and I ask, where will your wicked soul go to, after this life - agent of satan!

May I say this, if you hadn't already transmitted this deadly disease to her please, leave her alone to get on with her life and go meet your kind in hell where you belong. 

You are an agent of satan and that's why you want to take as many people as possible with you on your way to the Hades but you're a liar - for your powers, principalities and entities have been broken in Jesus Name, Amen! (Luk Chpt. 10 v 19)

I am only sorry for this poor and naive young lady without any knowledge of your Health status but the Lord knows your wicked and evil act and he has a word for you: 

The wicked shall be cut off in Jesus Name, Amen! (Psalm 37).

You see, this is what we are talking about - in fact, I don't blame you, I blame the culture!

The culture that pressurises women into unfruitful and unfulfilling marriages in order to avoid societal stigmatisation and name calling due to their 'singleton status' thereby, encouraging their men in taking advantage of their desperation to get married.

What an evil culture!!  A culture that put their own daughters into harms way, and without remorse! - I ask, will this culture ever change 

It can only change when women stand up for themselves and take control of their lives!!!



[/size][/b]

Theblessed:

[b][size=16pt]Evil, knowing you are HiV positive, and you con this innocent young lady into marriage when you are an atomic bomb waiting to go off - you will rot in 'HELL'.

Also, you want the Church that will be conducting the wedding not to know of your hellish Health status and devilish plans - satan, you can not win, for your soul is already rottening in hell!

And knowing you're HiV positive, I'm sure, you'd been sleeping with this innocent girl, haven't you?

So, out of your own selfishness and wickedness, you'd already condemned an innocent soul to hell and I ask, where will your wicked soul go to, after this life - agent of satan!

May I say this, if you hadn't already transmitted this deadly disease to her please, leave her alone to get on with her life and go meet your kind in hell where you belong. 

You are an agent of satan and that's why you want to take as many people as possible with you on your way to the Hades but you're a liar - for your powers, principalities and entities have been broken in Jesus Name, Amen! (Luk Chpt. 10 v 19)

I am only sorry for this poor and naive young lady without any knowledge of your Health status but the Lord knows your wicked and evil act and he has a word for you: 

The wicked shall be cut off in Jesus Name, Amen! (Psalm 37).

You see, this is what we are talking about - in fact, I don't blame you, I blame the culture!

The culture that pressurises women into unfruitful and unfulfilling marriages in order to avoid societal stigmatisation and name calling due to their 'singleton status' thereby, encouraging their men in taking advantage of their desperation to get married.

What an evil culture!!  A culture that put their own daughters into harms way, and without remorse! - I ask, will this culture ever change 

It can only change when women stand up for themselves and take control of their lives!!!



[/size][/b]

you are very silly! if anybody is an agent of satan, that person is YOU not the poster. If you were sensible enough to read his post before replying, he said his fiance is aware of his status - and secondly, just because he is hiv posiitive, does that mean he shouldn't be married and should be condemned to a life of loneliness? though you are quoting scriptures, you are more or less a sinner/son of perdition

dasparrow:

@OP

Your girlfriend must be very desperate to agree to marry a man with HIV. I guess that is what happens when people live in a society where immense pressure is put on them to get married at all cost. They result to marrying HIV and AIDS patients, add to that midgets who look like 6 year old boys. Anyways, goodluck to you both.

Madcow:

[b]There are many wicked people e.g EvilBrain and Freepeople talking chronic rubbish.

OP! if you genuinely love this girl, you would let her go,  We all know that being HIV positive is not the end of the world, however I do not believe anyone should knowingly expose a loved one to an unnecessary incurable condition in the name of love.

Since you are in the early stages, you can manage the HIV very effectively and lead a very productive life. If you desperately want to get married, there are many good healthy beautiful girls out there who are HIV positive. You would find love if you search.  

Nonetheless, it is very selfish and wicked of you to brainwash a girl in the name of love. I hope you know that you would be preventing her from living a full life and you would be exposing her to unnecessary hardship.

I used to have a patient who was in your exact position. Her husband loved her and was willing to marry her regardless of her HIV status, however she genuinely loved him and she let him go. it was hard for both of them but it was the right decision. Now, they are both married and happy

How would you feel if your daughter tells you that she is in love with a guy who is HIV positive and she wants to get married to him

If she loves you enough to accept your HIV status, you should love her enough to let her go.[/b]

Theblessed:

[b][size=16pt]Evil, knowing you are HiV positive, and you con this innocent young lady into marriage when you are an atomic bomb waiting to go off - you will rot in 'HELL'.

Also, you want the Church that will be conducting the wedding not to know of your hellish Health status and devilish plans - satan, you can not win, for your soul is already rottening in hell!

And knowing you're HiV positive, I'm sure, you'd been sleeping with this innocent girl, haven't you?

So, out of your own selfishness and wickedness, you'd already condemned an innocent soul to hell and I ask, where will your wicked soul go to, after this life - agent of satan!

May I say this, if you hadn't already transmitted this deadly disease to her please, leave her alone to get on with her life and go meet your kind in hell where you belong. 

You are an agent of satan and that's why you want to take as many people as possible with you on your way to the Hades but you're a liar - for your powers, principalities and entities have been broken in Jesus Name, Amen! (Luk Chpt. 10 v 19)

I am only sorry for this poor and naive young lady without any knowledge of your Health status but the Lord knows your wicked and evil act and he has a word for you: 

The wicked shall be cut off in Jesus Name, Amen! (Psalm 37).

You see, this is what we are talking about - in fact, I don't blame you, I blame the culture!

The culture that pressurises women into unfruitful and unfulfilling marriages in order to avoid societal stigmatisation and name calling due to their 'singleton status' thereby, encouraging their men in taking advantage of their desperation to get married.

What an evil culture!!  A culture that put their own daughters into harms way, and without remorse! - I ask, will this culture ever change 

It can only change when women stand up for themselves and take control of their lives!!!



[/size][/b]

oops!

What a load of excrement!

@dasparrow
You are worse than Nazi eugenics. We have no choice of our physical appearance. Everyone of us has inalienable right to live a happy and fulfilling life. Inasmuch as it doesn't encroach into another persons right. The reason why human beings survived for thousands of years is due to our variation. Variety is the spice of life. No disease can wipe out all the human specie. Do you know that some people has the genetic make-up that makes them resistant to HIV infection? The decision of two consenting adults is none of your business. It doesn't matter whether she married a midget, AIDS patient, or terminal cancer patient

@Madcow
You own case has worse prognosis. if you are the OP, would you want your health status to limit your choice in marriage? The stigma attached to HIV in Nigeria is the reason why it will continue to spread. I have seen countless of couples in which one party is HIV +ve, while the other is -ve. Take Magic Johnson for example.
As I said before, none of us has the right to question the decision of two consenting adults. So far as they are properly counselled of the benefits and risks of their choice.
I think that you are the selfish, wicked and brainwashed fellow here. Your are brainwashed into believing that HIV is a monster virus. That's why, you are actively trying to win over people to your psyche with fear.

@Theblessed
I think we've met before. Still the same story. Your fungating ignorance seems to be inoperable. All these your bible quotes are inconsequential and unnecessary. Believe me, your miserable life is "hellish Health status". You will rot in hell for condemning God's creature to hell. Judge not, so that you will not be judged. Get that into your thick skull. You hypocrite scum!

@ freepeople.
You are a very dishonest person. Moreover, can you read?

if the religious leaders are matured and literates, they should understand and as well as the lady is consenting and you have her parents blessings, you should be together. your courage and faith is worth commending as long as your lady know what fully she is entering, all the best

Evil, knowing you are HiV positive, and you con this innocent young lady into marriage when you are an atomic bomb waiting to go off - you will rot in 'HELL'.

Also, you want the Church that will be conducting the wedding not to know of your hellish Health status and devilish plans - satan, you can not win, for your soul is already rottening in hell!

And knowing you're HiV positive, I'm sure, you'd been sleeping with this innocent girl, haven't you?

So, out of your own selfishness and wickedness, you'd already condemned an innocent soul to hell and I ask, where will your wicked soul go to, after this life - agent of satan!

May I say this, if you hadn't already transmitted this deadly disease to her please, leave her alone to get on with her life and go meet your kind in hell where you belong.

You are an agent of satan and that's why you want to take as many people as possible with you on your way to the Hades but you're a liar - for your powers, principalities and entities have been broken in Jesus Name, Amen! (Luk Chpt. 10 v 19)

I am only sorry for this poor and naive young lady without any knowledge of your Health status but the Lord knows your wicked and evil act and he has a word for you:

The wicked shall be cut off in Jesus Name, Amen! (Psalm 37).

You see, this is what we are talking about - in fact, I don't blame you, I blame the culture!

The culture that pressurises women into unfruitful and unfulfilling marriages in order to avoid societal stigmatisation and name calling due to their 'singleton status' thereby, encouraging their men in taking advantage of their desperation to get married.

What an evil culture!! A culture that put their own daughters into harms way, and without remorse! - I ask, will this culture ever change

It can only change when women stand up for themselves and take control of their lives!!!

this is the dumbest comment ever, judging is bad enough, but talking about the soul to which you know nothing about is worse, i wouldnt blame you as you are the exact opposite of your name, you are theCursed !

My 2 cents, Judge not; Please if your comment is to insult this young/old man, abeg waka go, We all know the stigma already associated with this illness and to think that this guy came on ere hoping not to be stigmatized and someone starts calling him wicked and all those stupid names, it's totally not necessary. No one is perfect. Whatever you decide to do, commit in the hands of God.

Theblessed is a blind witch, useless scumbag.

wow, ignorance is indeed a disease(all those saying the op is evil, better go and check ur status) back to the topic,, if she knows u r HIV + and still wants to go on, cool beans. do u have to get married in the church?NO