when some ladies are really nice, many men may interprete it to mean that she 's in love with them or something. why is that so? is there a crime in being nice, open, caring to all.
really curious
for instance I have a friend that just keeps collects pple's numbers , she is so friendly with evry one, ,.

I don't know why men misinterpret good intentions. I guess it is wishfull thinking or else they are not used to hanging around any "nice" girls. The confusion happened to me once. I had (& still have) several, very popular male friends. If you don't know me then you don't know that they are not in my inner circle just friends. But since I love to joke & laugh other men would get confused. Finally I was on a date and the particular young man asked me why "so & so" and I had broken up. I was so annoyed that he'd assumed I'd dated the boy, when we were just friends. Then I realized that he'd probably asked me out b/c he assumed I was a reckless flirt or something. So I never went out w/ him again.

thanks 4 sharing. anywayz, I have made up my mind to be a little more reserved . limit to only handshakes, coz I don't want folks getting the wrong message. or what d'u think

Feel free to be friendly, but always tell them them about your current relationship so they'll put what they have with you in perspective. Always remind them that you are "friendly with everybody". When they misread your intentions, just laugh and tell them it is not so at all, that you are just being friendly because that's your style.

But there's one thing you need to avoid: please stop hugging and kissing these men or holding their hands for extended periods. Physical contact can be arousing and this leads to sexual/romantic thoughts.

I 'm not in any relationship now,never been in one. sometimes I'm so happy to see my friends , and so I could hug evry one, just laugh happily , u know a little pat here and there. I can't understand the "sexual arousal part" , could you plz elaborate. I just find it so hard to understand that part. I am really confused about this issue . I am a very friendly person, at the same time I don't wanna be viewed negatively. I see mexican pple greet and kiss on the cheek ,u know . really , I'm so puzzled.

I'm w/ you roses. I've also decided be more reserved. It's hard though b/c I'm really jovial around friends. So I've settled for being more resevered w/ new ppl for a longer period of time and remaining the same w/ ppl I know.

@ seun

but, what if you're a HUGGER?? gosh! I wasn't always a hugger but now that I am, I don't think I can change. As for kisses, I never do that. But, I think it looks so cute when Europeans & Latinos kiss hello etc.

I can't understand the "sexual arousal part"

What don't you understand? Don't you have breasts in front of your body?

I think what roses means is, why be sexually aroused by an obviously (to her) platonic gesture? It's not like she's (or I) put her hand on his thigh or kissed him.

@ seun

man are sex creatures. it has been said that a man thinks about sex every 7 minutes. physical contact to a man by someone of the opposite sex would usually transalate to something to do with sex, either you want them or you think they want you, so please stop all the hugging if you dont want them to misinterprete your actions.

@seun if u let him know about your relationship and he didn't want to let u go and do all u could do to make him realise you can date him,excuse me i'm tired how can i handle this.

hmm

thank y'all for replying. but I actually meant side hugs, I hug pple briefly just like on the neck or side . little or no body contact. so from what y'all are saying side hugs are not good . so in the church , it is wrong to hug . anywayz i never liked huggs b4 . but some guy could be hugging evry one and then they come to me, its like Hellooooooooooooo, can't you hug. so i changed to be more open. but I guess its high time I become very very very reserved again. doing my own thing being in my own world.

Once my mum told me someone was comming to the house to fix something in the bathroom.
(I should keep an eye on the workers so that they don't steal)
They came and i felt stupid just standing so we got talking. We talked about God and the world(means anything one can think of).
After that he kept comming to ask me out and I kept finding polite reasons for not going out with him.
One day i was  about  sleeping in the sitting room, by now  he was under the impression i was his girlfriend.
he started shouting at me what a wicked bitch i was Bla bla bla. We need to talk bla bla bla.
Believe it or not i fell asleep I don't know why and i only heard the door bang.
I never saw him again.
I never flirt with him or even held hands nothing .

thats interesting, yeah ,I smile a lat, I think pple misinteprete it. I in no way dress provocatively . anyway , I have my new way of life sorted out.
cheers

thats how they were made

Not all men are interested when a woman is friendly.If so maybe it's the why she communicating with him that sends these mixed signals.

greed, could you elaborate further,what way would a woman commicate to send mixed signals

I mean maybe she flirting a little and the guy is taking it in a whole different way.Maybe he thinks all this together time means some alone time for the both of them.

don't say you think that when a woman says no she means yes or maybe.
When i was married i used to go to the club once in a while.
I let the men a dance with know that am married and with kids and that i just came to chill out a bit, Some still ask me for my number . Do they have tomatoes in their ears.

NO, I mean some men are so into lust that their eyes are blinded from the tr

Yeah ! preach it sisters !! when you are reserved they say you are rigid, snub or preeetendiiiiiiiing !! when you are just being friendly they get the wrong message that that u are easy so' they wanna play a fast one , or even the ones who are not so closely your friends point to you as that loose girl always found amongst lads , and the most annoying part is that when you find a man who truly want to get settled with you, he hears rumours , stories about all the guys u've been seen with,

Some sisters also love to flirt with guys' minds, they want to know they can attract a guy, its exactly what they want, they sleep it, think it, eat it, gossip it, and then come all out to say they were not meaning it to happen!

As a woman i have the right to say stop at any time even at the oint were "John thomas" thinks he has passed the gate.

@mamaput
Mamaaapuuuutt! Do you have to go the whole 6 + 6 yards to draw the lines. You have just jeopardize the guys erotic future.

@mamaput
Mamaaapuuuutt! Do you have to go the whole 6 + 6 yards to draw the lines. You have just jeopardized the guy's erotic future.

If the signs that a woman likes a guy and the signs that she is just being friendly were not so alike

If a woman playing hard to get (which y'all do) and a woman meaning NO were not expressed in similar ways

If we did not have situations were women eventually fell in "whatever" with guys they initially said NO to

If women did not prefer persistent men to men who went away at the first NO

And if people were not treated as ABNORMAL if they were didn't have a relationship

Then maybe, JUST MAYBE, men would not misinterprete friendliness with interest.

So my question is HOW DIFFERENT ARE THEY ANYWAYS?

@Longesson
My guy, you just struck the infinite cord in their Guitar, This na true talk, you gave me a flash back on how my wife made me go thru this lonely lane.

Itz not everyone, besides friendliness gradually grows into relationships.
You won't tell me that those that are currently in relationships were never friendly to each other. I don't think itz a crime.

besides, are you talking from experience or you just wanna know?

Mamaput

don't say you think that when a woman says no she means yes or maybe.
When i was married i used to go to the club once in a while.
I let the men a dance with know that am married and with kids and that i just came to chill out a bit,  Some still ask me for my number . Do they have tomatoes in their ears.

Seeing a married lady in the club sends me a wrong signal especially when she agrees to dance with me.
It gives me an impression she's not satisfied at home so she wants to hang out and have the fun she's been
missing @ home.

Are u still married?

she's no longer married.
she has too many things to say: lots of fables and untruths
read her post about men working in her house when her mother was not around and you'll see how unbelievable she can be