How do I build trust and avoid jealousy in my relationship? Mature response needed pls.

Simple, by leading by example.
Trust and respect your spouse,
be open, freely communicate,
dont use what your spouse tells you as a weapon during quarels, it will lead to a block in communication
Give each other private space and time
Respect the trust your spouse gives you dont abuse it
Always talk to ur spouse before making and taking family decisions.
Most importantly, simply learn to listen with a clear mind not planning ur response as ur spouse speaks, just listen and digest first
Make your spouse always feel like d best human being in the world.
However these can only wrk when you are with the right person, it takes 2 pple to build a relationshiop, one person can not do the work alone, both of you must be ready to make it work. When 2 people commit, u re in heaven

@debrief08 thank you very much, i so much appreciate, please is there a way one can aviod quarels in a relationship. Must it always be there?

Smartrizz:

@debrief08 thank you very much, i so much appreciate, please is there a way one can aviod quarels in a relationship. Must it always be there?

I believe no 2 people are the same and from time to time even the most loving couple will disagree on issues. The key here is to have healthy disagreements, make rules of engagement, eg: No name calling, no use of past secrets to score cheap points, to focus on the issue at hand and not bring up past issues.
I believe from my own expample disagreement is healthy, in my previous marriage there was no room for disagreement, one person was always right and another was always apologising and even that didnt help, when i remarried i would always keep quiet when i was hurt or upset but my husband thought me how to disagree in a healthy manner. We normally take time to calm down to aviod screaming and shouting, sometimes we use blackberry chat to talk even when we re next to each other, each person sends a message and says his or her mind dat way we can silently quarrel without anyone in d house knowing. My Husband is extremely sturborn and so its hard for him to see another point of view, so shouting is a waste of time but when we send chat messages, even if he is upset at that time he goes back and reads what we talked about and sometimes comes to agree with me.
Some couples say they never quarel, well good for them but i beleive you cant always be right and you cant always do right so when you are wrong it is good if you have an enabling enviroment where your spouse can freely talk to you and possibly correct you.
However somethings you have to make peace and live with, eg those things you could tolerate when you met your spouse dont expect an immdiate change because you are now married.

In summary, you have to always be willing to listen and sometimes shift a little. However on cases where my husband stands his ground i submit to his wishes and hope his decision turns out right for us because i trust that every decision he makes is based on love he has for me and our son.

@debrief08 thank you so much, i have learnt alot from you in this case, mostly not shouting and screaming when there are challenges, cos that landed me into problem last weekend i didn’t know when i screamed at him and made it look as if i don’t trust him, he was so angry with me, i didn’t get to know until he called off our appointment, i was still shouting which get him more upset. When i realised that, it was late i cried, apologised but he taught me a lesson i will not forget in a hurry not until late yesterday night and this morning he calmed down and apologised for putting me through that pain. Honestly i don't want a repeat of what happened.

anyway we are not yet married.

Smartrizz:

@debrief08 thank you so much, i have learnt alot from you in this case, mostly not shouting and screaming when there are challenges, cos that landed me into problem last weekend i didn’t know when i screamed at him and made it look as if i don’t trust him, he was so angry with me, i didn’t get to know until he called off our appointment, i was still shouting which get him more upset. When i realised that, it was late i cried, apologised but he taught me a lesson i will not forget in a hurry not until late yesterday night and this morning he calmed down and apologised for putting me through that pain. Honestly i don't want a repeat of what happened.

anyway we are not yet married.

Doesnt matter if you are married or not, Shouting will not make d other person hear you better. I understand how u feel, Ha love, i miss this stage in a relationship. I am happy that he shows concern for you and understood ur reaction even when you shouted at him, he loves you too and wants to make ur relationship work. Men love being respected, please respect him, when you are angry tell urself to calm down, words said in anger cant be taken back, so calm down and aviod speaking cos u will definately shout, try not to immediately react if possible, i know pple re different and react differently but at the end of the day, every woman wants to be loved and adored and every man wants to be loved and respected.
From what you said you have a great man who loves you a lot so please try as much as you can not to react in anger. I wish you the best.

@debrief08 thank you very much God bless you, please another thing is this. we ve made love in three occasion, I told him i want to abstain from sex until married, he said no problem, that he also wanted that too, he once dated a lady for one year with sex until she cheated and he has stayed two yrs without sex before he met me.

I prayed to God seriously that I don't want to continue having intimate with him until married, I told God to work on him. To my surprise two days later when i want to visit he told me no intimate until married, that he wished we never did it, that is not good to stole what you have.

But my problem now is that he avoid kissing, hugging and holding me, he said he is ready to avoid all that cos they lead to sex, even when i told him am feeling Hot he will tell me to endure it is for our own good,

Your man continues to impress me. Not a lot of men will respect your wishes to abstain from sex before marriage. Men are very physical, one kiss can make him go crazy, whats the point of making him Hot when you want to abstain from pre marital sex? If he wants to aviod kissing and hugging please respect that, he doesnt want to get tempted.
I assure you very few men will agree to stop having sex once they have started, you have a very good man, treaure him

@debrief08, thank you very much i so much appreciate your guidance, pls can you send me ur mail address we discuss better when the need arises.

honestly i need the kiss bad but no way for me. but it is well

@debrief
Nice advise! May God bless your marriage. Keep it up!

@ Smartrizz
I understand your need for the kiss, hug and so on but the best choice is to keep off them or you tempt your man again. Thank God you have a good man and I pray your wedding comes up fast.
All the best.

Ferya:

@debrief
Nice advise! May God bless your marriage. Keep it up!

@ Smartrizz
I understand your need for the kiss, hug and so on but the best choice is to keep off them or you tempt your man again. Thank God you have a good man and I pray your wedding comes up fast.
All the best.

Thank you very much. A BIG AMEN TO THAT PRAYER