I gave this a very deep thought before I decided to post here ;

This is a very very sensitive and tongue tied topic for any Nigerian chick to comment on to be honest , everybody is hiding behind their computer/phone typing their hypothetical advice meanwhile deep down we are praying for that guy/brother to succed in his plight to secure his stay to bring his family he has left over to yankee and the kids to see their Dad again....my point Nigerians be careful what to contribute on this particular thread o!

Not everybody abroad have it easy with their living and breakthrough.

OP life is a lesson , next time you meet anybody with good looks and a good job and proposes to you in a week into dating without you giving it a deep thought before following him go marry ....say No! I'm truly sorry about your loss and disappointment, I really am.

jidegirl12:
OP life is a lesson , next time you meet anybody with good looks and a good job and proposes to you in a week into dating without you giving it a deep thought before following him go marry ....say No! I'm truly sorry about your loss and disappointment, I really am.

the one week thing is just too absurd. I still don't understand that part.

but I don't really pity the guy. There are women who agree to green card marriages for pay. he should have found a fellow criminal to arrange marriage with.
Imagine if this poor woman got pregnant or have children then it will be a headache for the wife and kids in naija when they arrive abroad and learn the ugly truth of a mess they're in.

c.fours:


the one week thing is just too absurd. I still don't understand that part.

Do you guy think the OP na mumu? I dont want to yern too much Jare! wetin my eye don see with these people?

c.fours:


but I don't really pity the guy.

I actually do and I'm not ashamed to say it.....@fours God forgive you...it takes two to tango you know(a thought to grow on )

c.fours:


There are women who agree to green card marriages for pay. he should have found a fellow criminal to arrange marriage with.
Imagine if this poor woman got pregnant or have children then it will be a headache for the wife and kids in naija when they arrive abroad and learn the ugly truth of a mess they're in.

Okay , I keep my comment in the warmer How old are you again? pls I dont mean any insult , just wanna be sure I'm not wasting my time typing all these with the above comment

I understand where you're coming from of course.
I really just don't pity the guy. I have very little pity for the woman as well because she knew what she was getting herself into. I think desperation got the better of her. One week proposal hmmm

i hope OP has left that guy. doesnt mean that there arent good nigerian guys. i have a question however; why do the majority of nigerian and african men stay with white european women but hardly can with north americans. correct me if im wrong

Dear dtanigwe,

I'd like to share my own story with you, which is a complete contrast in itself.

6 years ago I married to my first boyfriend, an Igbo man from Aba, Abia state.
I was 19 at the time and a bit of a late bloomer
After getting married, we had a huge disagreement and didn't speak for 2 years,
I must add, that we were living in different countries at the time, he in Sweden
and I in Germany, I also went to the UK for a year in the meantime.
At one point I decided to file for divorce, as I the whole thing was just intoxicating,
I couldn't live with loving him and being so torn up and far away yet feeling so abandoned
and misunderstood. But I received a text from him that changed my mind and made me want
to give it all a second chance. So I moved to Sweden, not knowing the language and him
being my only contact person there.
It turned out to be that I didn't know him at all before, I opened a company with him,
so he could quit his night job, seeing him work all through the night was killing me,
and it wore him out.
But in his eyes I was too big, and he started fighting with me over it, I lost over 40 kg
in less than a year, but with him beating me up on top of it and never giving me the love
or attention I needed, and I don't need much.
He would tell me, if I annoy him or speak when he doesn't want me to speak, he would have
the right to shut me up by punching me in the face.
Long story short, after 1 and a half years of mistreatment and delirium, his application
for a permanent stay in Sweden was rejected and we went to my country together, where it all
continued to the extend that when I got pregnant two years ago, he kicked me in the stomach
and kicked in the bathroom door after I locked myself up in it, being scared.
He was arrested and taken away but I still took him back, after all I was pregnant with his
child and couldn’t imagine raising it alone.
But I was jet to be horrified the more…. he kept on fighting with me of the silliest things
and put mine and our child’s life in danger by hitting me and torturing me mentally.
My daughter was born at 25 weeks into the pregnancy, due to a placental abruption.
Severe distress had put me in hospital 2 times before that already and I kept having
complications up until then. My daughter lived for only 7 days and he never got to see
her, since he told me upfront he would take her from me if he gets to see her and before
that told me I should cook soup with her.
This is when I filed for divorce and kicked him out of my apartment.
He didn’t work, just went to a German course for three hours a day and would sleep
through the rest of the day or sit in front of the PC. I paid for everything and worked
a 10 hour job throughout my pregnancy.
I don’t miss a second of it!
He seems to now still be getting his stay after getting another girl pregnant, I feel sorry
for her….

But I found my happy ending !
I am since seeing an Igbo guy who is studying here in the UK, who doesn’t need me
for papers, just for who I am. He is kind, honest, loving and caring. Everything I never
had in my marriage. I in no way could compare him to my ex, and he is a true example for
all good Nigerians. It truly isn’t all of them who are bad, and I am being told I am crazy to
even consider being with another Nigerian man….
But honestly, people are different and I wouldn’t miss a second without this wonderful
and amazing man. I consider myself blessed !

onye_ocha: Dear dtanigwe,

I'd like to share my own story with you, which is a complete contrast in itself.

6 years ago I married to my first boyfriend, an Igbo man from Aba, Abia state.
I was 19 at the time and a bit of a late bloomer
After getting married, we had a huge disagreement and didn't speak for 2 years,
I must add, that we were living in different countries at the time, he in Sweden
and I in Germany, I also went to the UK for a year in the meantime.
At one point I decided to file for divorce, as I the whole thing was just intoxicating,
I couldn't live with loving him and being so torn up and far away yet feeling so abandoned
and misunderstood. But I received a text from him that changed my mind and made me want
to give it all a second chance. So I moved to Sweden, not knowing the language and him
being my only contact person there.
It turned out to be that I didn't know him at all before, I opened a company with him,
so he could quit his night job, seeing him work all through the night was killing me,
and it wore him out.
But in his eyes I was too big, and he started fighting with me over it, I lost over 40 kg
in less than a year, but with him beating me up on top of it and never giving me the love
or attention I needed, and I don't need much.
He would tell me, if I annoy him or speak when he doesn't want me to speak, he would have
the right to shut me up by punching me in the face.
Long story short, after 1 and a half years of mistreatment and delirium, his application
for a permanent stay in Sweden was rejected and we went to my country together, where it all
continued to the extend that when I got pregnant two years ago, he kicked me in the stomach
and kicked in the bathroom door after I locked myself up in it, being scared.
He was arrested and taken away but I still took him back, after all I was pregnant with his
child and couldn’t imagine raising it alone.
But I was jet to be horrified the more…. he kept on fighting with me of the silliest things
and put mine and our child’s life in danger by hitting me and torturing me mentally.
My daughter was born at 25 weeks into the pregnancy, due to a placental abruption.
Severe distress had put me in hospital 2 times before that already and I kept having
complications up until then. My daughter lived for only 7 days and he never got to see
her, since he told me upfront he would take her from me if he gets to see her and before
that told me I should cook soup with her.
This is when I filed for divorce and kicked him out of my apartment.
He didn’t work, just went to a German course for three hours a day and would sleep
through the rest of the day or sit in front of the PC. I paid for everything and worked
a 10 hour job throughout my pregnancy.
I don’t miss a second of it!
He seems to now still be getting his stay after getting another girl pregnant, I feel sorry
for her….

But I found my happy ending !
I am since seeing an Igbo guy who is studying here in the UK, who doesn’t need me
for papers, just for who I am. He is kind, honest, loving and caring. Everything I never
had in my marriage. I in no way could compare him to my ex, and he is a true example for
all good Nigerians. It truly isn’t all of them who are bad, and I am being told I am crazy to
even consider being with another Nigerian man….
But honestly, people are different and I wouldn’t miss a second without this wonderful
and amazing man. I consider myself blessed !

Honey..your story is not about a typical naija-man, but about a typical psychopat.
I am so sorry for you, and I hope you came out strong at the end.

No person should have to go through this kinda bull.

1. Africans/Nigerians only marry american women for a green card and will leave them as soon as they get it. They've usually got a Nigerian wife or girlfriend back home that they will marry and bring to the states after dumping the American wife.

Most of the time YES! Good news? THEY LEAVE THEIR NIGERIAN WIVES TOO! Don't feel bad. Only like some 10% have some forms of scrupples. They were not taught by their parents. . .especially the ones from 'polygamous nomadic' backgrounds!

2. Nigerians are notorious womanizers. If they do stay with their American wife they will callously cheat on her.

90% CORRECCCCCCCCT! A Nigerian man that does not 'cheat' is a 'BROKE' or 'TIMID' one! Let him have a few pocket change. . .then see how faithful he an be. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN A WEALTHY NIGERIAN OR AFRICAN MAN WITH ONLY ONE WIFE. . . NO CONCUBINES?

NEVER. . . !!!! Even if he is dying of AIDS!!!!

3. Africans think of women as objects or property. He is controlling of his wife, her opinion doesn't matter, her place is in the kitchen and having babies, and the man has the right to beat his wife and will often be verbally abusive.

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! It is YOUR duty to SET THEM STRAIGHT! If you fail. . . YOU ARE THE LOSER. . . YOUR CHILDREN WILL REPEAT THE CYCLE OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM stemming from domestic abuse! MEDICATIONS CANNOT HELP, NEITHER CAN PASTORS!

4. A Nigerian man wouldn't stay with a black American because her bloodline has been "tainted".

TAINTED WITH WHAT? Slavery? Don't even go there. Slavery is still being practiced in Nigeria. . . . till even in the afterlife!

5. Nigerian/Igbo men become cold, unaffectionate, and unloving with their wives (and sometimes children)

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! They just can't help themselves. If you were not conceived with love. . . raised with love. . . YOU CAN NEVER GIVE WHAT YOU WERE NEVER BLESSED WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE. The work of a NIGERIAN MAN ENDS WITH INSERTING A PEHNIS INTO A VA-JI-NA, WHILE THE WORK OF A NIGERIAN WOMAN ENDS WITH OPENING HER AZZE TO SHYTE OUT CHILDREN all to fulfill the 'OGBONI-OKIJA' Chrislamic princeples of 'go forth into the world and multiply your loveless generational curses in MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL POVERTY'!!!

My husband is applying for his residency based on our marriage, and so far has not been any of these stereotypes (except maybe a little controlling, but never abusively so). In fact he has been a stark contrast, almost a perfect contrast. He is extremely affectionate and loving, speaks respectfully to me, never raised a hand to me, and he at least makes me think he considers my opinion on things. My fear is that once his residency becomes permanent will he change? Is this a norm? I want to know the truth behind Nigerian men marrying American women and why the marriages that fall apart do so. And also how many of these marriages stay together.

If you live in fear. . . you die in fear. Getting the residency is only the easy part. ARE THERE NO AMERICAN CITIZENS LIVING UNDER BRIDGES ALL OVER THE USA? If a man does not wanna be with you, WHY THE FRET? Let his azzzze GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Simple.

THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL EFFECTIVELY WITH NIGERIAN MEN IS TO USE THEM, WHILE THEY THINK THEY THINK THEY ARE USING YOU!
Now, you know the possibilities. . . .While he is getting his residency. . . WHAT ARE YOU GETTING FROM HIM?

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY A NIGERIAN/IGBO MAN?
You have made your choices. NEXT TIME. STICK TO YOUR OWN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN. . . I am sure I could think of A MILLION [size=20pt]FACTUAL[/size] STEREOTYPICAL TRAITS AND HABITS. . . .WHY I CAN NEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER DATE OR MARRY ONE. . . .NO MATTER HOW POLISHED. . .NOT EVEN A HALF-NIGERIAN HALF AFRICAN AMERICAN WITH NIGERIAN ROOTS!!! NEVER!!!!!! OBAMA INCLUDED!!!


Instead of sitting on NL, try to get pregant with like 7 CHILDREN FOR THE IGBO MAN. . . trust me, HE WILL HAVE TO RUN TO ANOTHER PLANET TO AVOID HIS CHILDREN.

Is Phillip Emeagwali not married to an AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN?

Niggers always attract NIGGERS. YOU LIVE IN THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD FOR WOMEN and you are still afraid of your ONE LOCAL IMMIGRANT HUSBAND LOOKING FOR GREENER PASTURES. . .ON EXILE FROM HIS OWN COUNTRY?

Pity!

Hmmm! Why do people have divorce in mind and marry? If you think it will happen, then it will happen. faith is acting on something that doesn't exist as though it exists. Please enjoy your marriage. your fears may get it scattered. people like us will be quick to pick the pieces because we don't even have any..LoL!!

AM EMPEROR FROM NIGERIA, AND MY DAD MARRIED AN AMERICAN, LATER THE BROTHER HE BROUGHT TO USA WENT BACK TO HIS AMERICAN WIFE AND BROUGHT CONFUSION THAT MADE THE WIFE TO WANT TO KILL HIM, AND MOST TIME IGBO MAN DON'T WANT TO BE CONTROLLED BY THEIR AMERICAN WIFE.

SEE SOME REASONS WHY IGBO MAN MARRIES ANOTHER WIFE
1. THE AMERICAN WIFE DOES NOT ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO COME BACK TO NIGERIA
2. THE AMERICAN WIFE LIKES TO MONITOR THE IGBO HUSBAND
3. THE AMERICAN WIFE ALWAYS LISTEN TO SIDE TALKS, EITHER FROM HER PARENTS OR FRIENDS, ABOUT HER HUSBAND
4. SOME AMERICAN WIVES DON'T IMPRESS THE NIGERIAN HUSBAND IN DRESSING CODE AND FASCINATE THEIR NIGERIAN HUSBAND

Just felt like I should update...

2 1/2 years we are still married. I moved away for about a year during this time, but we kept in contact and visited each other often before I decided to move back home with him. We still have ups and downs, but what marriage doesn't? I still question his motives from time to time, but I stand on my faith.

I believe God told me to marry him, and even through our issues God tells me to stick it out. Bottom line, God has a divine destiny for my life and my husband will either step up, or he will have to step aside. I know my value. Until he decides, my only job is to be the best wife God has called me to be. If he leaves that is his own loss and God will restore and vindicate me.

dtanigwe: Just felt like I should update...

2 1/2 years we are still married. I moved away for about a year during this time, but we kept in contact and visited each other often before I decided to move back home with him. We still have ups and downs, but what marriage doesn't? I still question his motives from time to time, but I stand on my faith.

I believe God told me to marry him, and even through our issues God tells me to stick it out. Bottom line, God has a divine destiny for my life and my husband will either step up, or he will have to step aside. I know my value. Until he decides, my only job is to be the best wife God has called me to be. If he leaves that is his own loss and God will restore and vindicate me.

It is very disheartening to hear the atrocities fellow Nigerian men commit, but the truth is: everyone is different and no particular race or ethnic group devoids its bad eggs.My advise is that you work with whomever you are with in being a better person. Nigerian men are not that bad or un-trainable.

Put it in your conscious mind that there are some things you wish for in you "dream" and "perfect" man that Nigerian males totally lack. Here are few examples

We are not good at public display of emotions and affections; no public kissing, no door opening, and don't expect flowers and other frivolities as gift or surprise. This doesn't mean we aren't romantic, but not in that wise.

There is cultural shock no matter how you stay together there are some things that you guys just have to compromise or adapt to. Nigerians men generally do not like women or ladies that are so given to the "American" lifestyle and freedom I mean investing too much on expensive Louis Vuitton, Manolo and stuffs like that. some men won't even bother calling your attention to that, so long you are making a decent money on your own and you are contributing your own quota financially.

People say Nigerians are loud speakers they have deep voice and they open all the corner of their mouth when talking, so it is hard to know what the matter is if they are just trying to point a little correction. Coupled with the language barrier and tone we do not know use soft words at times, for example, real Americans and whites rarely shout at their kids even if they do things that are so wrong, they would rather say "honey, that is okay...." "sweetheart, you should have......" Nigerians won't do all these and that is why we suck at customer services and some hospitality duties.

Also, learn to talk persuasively and not raise your voice the way Latoya, Sheniqua and Lashonda ( Ya know waaraaa mean?) would raise their voice to protest on anything. I know AA women are trained to be vocal and expressive, you will be amazed at how soft Naija men can be when you talk to their brain in a low-tone and well directed manner.

God will help you and bless your union.

i was dating a Nigerian man for 10 months and then when i returned from a trip back home he basically broke up with me.....he was loving and the best thing that ever happened to me. i thought he was the answer to my prayers. he said he still loved me blah blah blah but i always knew his kids and their mother would win out. i respect that but i am so hurt. the last i knew he didn't love her but he loved his kids. his mother wanted them back together as well even though the girl attacked him before etc;(but i have no idea why). i am having a hard time dealing with it and i basically broke down and begged him to stay with me but all fell on deaf ears. i don't want to not date nigerian men for this reason but i just feel that it would be hard to find one that is not married at my age....this has been the toughest point of my life. so odd how he could turn off his feelings like that so fast but in my heart i think it is more about being with his kids.

Gambrosia:

Most of the time YES! Good news? THEY LEAVE THEIR NIGERIAN WIVES TOO! Don't feel bad. Only like some 10% have some forms of scrupples. They were not taught by their parents. . .especially the ones from 'polygamous nomadic' backgrounds!




90% CORRECCCCCCCCT! A Nigerian man that does not 'cheat' is a 'BROKE' or 'TIMID' one! Let him have a few pocket change. . .then see how faithful he an be. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN A WEALTHY NIGERIAN OR AFRICAN MAN WITH ONLY ONE WIFE. . . NO CONCUBINES?

NEVER. . . !!!! Even if he is dying of AIDS!!!!



ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! It is YOUR duty to SET THEM STRAIGHT! If you fail. . . YOU ARE THE LOSER. . . YOUR CHILDREN WILL REPEAT THE CYCLE OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM stemming from domestic abuse! MEDICATIONS CANNOT HELP, NEITHER CAN PASTORS!



TAINTED WITH WHAT? Slavery? Don't even go there. Slavery is still being practiced in Nigeria. . . . till even in the afterlife!



ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! They just can't help themselves. If you were not conceived with love. . . raised with love. . . YOU CAN NEVER GIVE WHAT YOU WERE NEVER BLESSED WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE. The work of a NIGERIAN MAN ENDS WITH INSERTING A PEHNIS INTO A VA-JI-NA, WHILE THE WORK OF A NIGERIAN WOMAN ENDS WITH OPENING HER AZZE TO SHYTE OUT CHILDREN all to fulfill the 'OGBONI-OKIJA' Chrislamic principle 'go forth into the world and multiply your loveless generational curses in MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL POVERTY'!!!




If you live in fear. . . you die in fear. Getting the residency is only the easy part. ARE THERE NO AMERICAN CITIZENS LIVING UNDER BRIDGES ALL OVER THE USA? If a man does not wanna be with you, WHY THE FRET? Let his azzzze GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Simple.

THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL EFFECTIVELY WITH NIGERIAN MEN IS TO USE THEM, WHILE THEY THINK THEY THINK THEY ARE USING YOU!
Now, you know the possibilities. . . .While he is getting his residency. . . WHAT ARE YOU GETTING FROM HIM?

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY A NIGERIAN/IGBO MAN?
You have made your choices. NEXT TIME. STICK TO YOUR OWN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN. . . I am sure I could think of A MILLION [size=20pt]FACTUAL[/size] STEREOTYPICAL TRAITS AND HABITS. . . .WHY I CAN NEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER DATE OR MARRY ONE. . . .NO MATTER HOW POLISHED. . .NOT EVEN A HALF-NIGERIAN HALF AFRICAN AMERICAN WITH NIGERIAN ROOTS!!! NEVER!!!!!! OBAMA INCLUDED!!!


Instead of sitting on NL, try to get pregnant with like 7 CHILDREN FOR THE IGBO MAN. . . trust me, HE WILL HAVE TO RUN TO ANOTHER PLANET TO AVOID HIS CHILDREN.

Is Phillip Emeagwali not married to an AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN?

Niggers always attract NIGGERS. YOU LIVE IN THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD FOR WOMEN and you are still afraid of your ONE LOCAL IMMIGRANT HUSBAND LOOKING FOR GREENER PASTURES. . .ON EXILE FROM HIS OWN COUNTRY?

Pity!

Gbam again!!!!!

No need 'liking' my beaurrrriful self! I already SUPER-DUPER-TRUPER DO!!!!

Gambrosia:

Most of the time YES! Good news? THEY LEAVE THEIR NIGERIAN WIVES TOO! Don't feel bad. Only like some 10% have some forms of scrupples. They were not taught by their parents. . .especially the ones from 'polygamous nomadic' backgrounds!




90% CORRECCCCCCCCT! A Nigerian man that does not 'cheat' is a 'BROKE' or 'TIMID' one! Let him have a few pocket change. . .then see how faithful he an be. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN A WEALTHY NIGERIAN OR AFRICAN MAN WITH ONLY ONE WIFE. . . NO CONCUBINES?

NEVER. . . !!!! Even if he is dying of AIDS!!!!



ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! It is YOUR duty to SET THEM STRAIGHT! If you fail. . . YOU ARE THE LOSER. . . YOUR CHILDREN WILL REPEAT THE CYCLE OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM stemming from domestic abuse! MEDICATIONS CANNOT HELP, NEITHER CAN PASTORS!



TAINTED WITH WHAT? Slavery? Don't even go there. Slavery is still being practiced in Nigeria. . . . till even in the afterlife!



ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! They just can't help themselves. If you were not conceived with love. . . raised with love. . . YOU CAN NEVER GIVE WHAT YOU WERE NEVER BLESSED WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE. The work of a NIGERIAN MAN ENDS WITH INSERTING A PEHNIS INTO A VA-JI-NA, WHILE THE WORK OF A NIGERIAN WOMAN ENDS WITH OPENING HER AZZE TO SHYTE OUT CHILDREN all to fulfill the 'OGBONI-OKIJA' Chrislamic princeples of 'go forth into the world and multiply your loveless generational curses in MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL POVERTY'!!!




If you live in fear. . . you die in fear. Getting the residency is only the easy part. ARE THERE NO AMERICAN CITIZENS LIVING UNDER BRIDGES ALL OVER THE USA? If a man does not wanna be with you, WHY THE FRET? Let his azzzze GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Simple.

THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL EFFECTIVELY WITH NIGERIAN MEN IS TO USE THEM, WHILE THEY THINK THEY THINK THEY ARE USING YOU!
Now, you know the possibilities. . . .While he is getting his residency. . . WHAT ARE YOU GETTING FROM HIM?

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY A NIGERIAN/IGBO MAN?
You have made your choices. NEXT TIME. STICK TO YOUR OWN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN. . . I am sure I could think of A MILLION [size=20pt]FACTUAL[/size] STEREOTYPICAL TRAITS AND HABITS. . . .WHY I CAN NEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER DATE OR MARRY ONE. . . .NO MATTER HOW POLISHED. . .NOT EVEN A HALF-NIGERIAN HALF AFRICAN AMERICAN WITH NIGERIAN ROOTS!!! NEVER!!!!!! OBAMA INCLUDED!!!


Instead of sitting on NL, try to get pregant with like 7 CHILDREN FOR THE IGBO MAN. . . trust me, HE WILL HAVE TO RUN TO ANOTHER PLANET TO AVOID HIS CHILDREN.

Is Phillip Emeagwali not married to an AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN?

Niggers always attract NIGGERS. YOU LIVE IN THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD FOR WOMEN and you are still afraid of your ONE LOCAL IMMIGRANT HUSBAND LOOKING FOR GREENER PASTURES. . .ON EXILE FROM HIS OWN COUNTRY?

Pity!

lovely,awesome,beautiful,perfect.you couldnt have said it any better

crimyboi: AM EMPEROR FROM NIGERIA, AND MY DAD MARRIED AN AMERICAN, LATER THE BROTHER HE BROUGHT TO USA WENT BACK TO HIS AMERICAN WIFE AND BROUGHT CONFUSION THAT MADE THE WIFE TO WANT TO KILL HIM, AND MOST TIME IGBO MAN DON'T WANT TO BE CONTROLLED BY THEIR AMERICAN WIFE.

SEE SOME REASONS WHY IGBO MAN MARRIES ANOTHER WIFE
1. THE AMERICAN WIFE DOES NOT ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO COME BACK TO NIGERIA
2. THE AMERICAN WIFE LIKES TO MONITOR THE IGBO HUSBAND
3. THE AMERICAN WIFE ALWAYS LISTEN TO SIDE TALKS, EITHER FROM HER PARENTS OR FRIENDS, ABOUT HER HUSBAND
4. SOME AMERICAN WIVES DON'T IMPRESS THE NIGERIAN HUSBAND IN DRESSING CODE AND FASCINATE THEIR NIGERIAN HUSBAND

"emperor"? There are no emperors in Nigeria you just sold yourself out, you better be proud of whatever country you are from rather than claiming to be nigerian. IGBO MEN DON'T USUALLY MARRY NON-IGBO WOMEN SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY 1. LOVE THEIR CULTURE. 2. THE IGBO WOMEN UNDERSTAND THEM BETTER. 3. THEY CAN'T IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO THEIR WIVES IN IGBO LANGUAGE WHEN THEY GET BACK HOME EACH DAY. Just the few point I've heard them say. I've heard of lot of Igbo guys bluntly say they won't marry someone that's not Igbo.

Why do u guys say such rude comments to this lady? I am of euro Arab decent and have similar questions about my nigerian man. Only he wants me to get pregnant. I feel maybe so I do not leave him. He is so kind and loving. Just a very gentle man. I feel if I do fall pregnant it will only solidify his words that I'm not leaving him ever. He says it's the last stop for me. He is very jealous like Arab man. But coming from similar culture it doesn't bother me. Only thing I fear is if we have a baby, if things don't work out, I gather he will take the child away like Arab. He wants to get married and have a baby. Great. He also has 4 children. And the 3 in nigeria live with his mother and the one here lives with him. He said they don't play when it comes to the children. The men take the baby. So just because this woman if African American doesn't make her questions criminal or invalid. She's a woman and has a right to ask questions! Oh and my man is Igbo as well. And he doesn't say he prefers an Igbo woman. Being who I am, I would make a better wife than 3 Igbo women together.

I wonder if anyone is still married to their African husbands AFTER they were granted a greencard. Just curious.

Madam abeg this is a simple matter, if you aren't comfortable with Nigerian men, pls park well and go for your fellow Americans. Leave my ibo brothers alone. The men never reach us abeg. Leave them for the real African ladies that will appreciate them.Thanks

[quote author=ilovemynigerian post=27393601]Why do u guys say such rude comments to this lady? I am of euro Arab decent and have similar questions about my nigerian man. Only he wants me to get pregnant. I feel maybe so I do not leave him. He is so kind and loving. Just a very gentle man. I feel if I do fall pregnant it will only solidify his words that I'm not leaving him ever. He says it's the last stop for me. He is very jealous like Arab man. But coming from similar culture it doesn't bother me. Only thing I fear is if we have a baby, if things don't work out, I gather he will take the child away like Arab. He wants to get married and have a baby. Great. He also has 4 children. And the 3 in nigeria live with his mother and the one here lives with him. He said they don't play when it comes to the children. The men take the baby. So just because this woman if African American doesn't make her questions criminal or invalid. She's a woman and has a right to ask questions! Oh and my man is Igbo as well. And he doesn't say he prefers an Igbo woman. Being who I am, I would make a better wife than 3 Igbo women together. [/quote
]
Isn't it funny how people complicate things for themselves. You want to go into marriage but your fear is what happens if the marriage doesn't work out right?? Yet you claim you would do better than 3 ibo women right? Cool!
Note: there is a big difference between the ibo men in diaspora and the ones resident in Nigeria behaviorally! The ones there are diluted but the chukwudi's and emeka's here are not beans!!
The average ibo woman doesn't even consider your if not's, she hopes and works hard enough to preserve her marriage. Dem no de beg them to born o.(cs is only a last option)
The list is long but I fear you wouldn't understand...

To women in a rush
I have not been married long this Nigerian man from Yorba. Quite frankly be careful these foreign men are full of issues. They pretend. Yes pretend that I love you when the are trying to get a green card. This crazy fool doesn't work or have a hustle for income. This MF has the nerves to had thought I was going to pay for his paper. My sister dates these Africans. She laughed at me behind my back because my husband talk to her guy friend. He told her guy friend things. Then my sister guy friend called my husband lying on me. So if you have a chance to leave. Run away from him. So my husband started acting crazy raising his voice. He got up and punched the cabinet doors and the cabinet doors flew off. I have decided to end this chaos before he gets his paper.

My advice get to know a person to get there true intention and there hidden agenda will come out.
If red flags and doubt in your mind Please follow your gut instincts. Nine times out of ten that is your Sixth Sense telling you to run and this is moving to fast

Women need to not be in a rush to have companionship. Trust me there's someone out there for you and these Dating sites might not be the place to meet your husband.

I have to tell this ..In nigerian society men tell you they are polygamous /they think that god forgive them and them they give esxcuses )and women they accept it in Nigeria..why they acccept cheat and lies ?if they dont accept and start divorced and do something..they stop do it ..in Europe and America we was same last centuries too ...if women will be still accept this -men never change they will be lie and cheat ..but they dont know that God never forgive so much cheating ..they see if they will be end in hell..

dtanigwe:
I am a black American woman who has recently married an Igbo man. I was raised, as we all are, to have certain preconceived notions about ppl of other races and cultures, and Africans, although I am clearly a descendent, were no exception.

Having taught myself not to judge by these prescriptions, I gave no thought to my husband's nationality when I married him, but I have to admit that now, the quiet protests of my friends and family are starting to get to me and are raising doubt in my mind. I don't want to offend anyone, but in the interest of honest, open discourse, these are the stereotypes and fears that my loved ones present me with:

1. Africans/Nigerians only marry american women for a green card and will leave them as soon as they get it. They've usually got a Nigerian wife or girlfriend back home that they will marry and bring to the states after dumping the American wife.
2. Nigerians are notorious womanizers. If they do stay with their American wife they will callously cheat on her.
3. Africans think of women as objects or property. He is controlling of his wife, her opinion doesn't matter, her place is in the kitchen and having babies, and the man has the right to beat his wife and will often be verbally abusive.
4. A Nigerian man wouldn't stay with a black American because her bloodline has been "tainted".
5. Nigerian/Igbo men become cold, unaffectionate, and unloving with their wives (and sometimes children)

My husband is applying for his residency based on our marriage, and so far has not been any of these stereotypes (except maybe a little controlling, but never abusively so). In fact he has been a stark contrast, almost a perfect contrast. He is extremely affectionate and loving, speaks respectfully to me, never raised a hand to me, and he at least makes me think he considers my opinion on things. My fear is that once his residency becomes permanent will he change? Is this a norm? I want to know the truth behind Nigerian men marrying American women and why the marriages that fall apart do so. And also how many of these marriages stay together.

Ensure you are good to him, make him reciprocate too. Don't allow him to get distracted but don't stalk him and also make him go to church. I tell you he will dance to ur tune

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