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For Married and soon to be married Men - Family - Nairaland

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For Married and soon to be married Men by RuuDie(m): 9:02am On Feb 08, 2012
This is straight-up question to the married and perhaps soon to be married guys here on NL. . . . .what was (is) the state of your finances at the point of you deciding to get married and how much of an influence it had (has)? How confident you felt making such a decision in view of what you already had in hand money-wise and what you were expecting??
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Tosinville(m): 9:08am On Feb 08, 2012
Outta here, still single
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Nobody: 9:14am On Feb 08, 2012
It should be a personal decision
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Tosinville(m): 9:20am On Feb 08, 2012
^Don't think so, married men sharing their experiences is helpful for those that are plannin to go into it.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by RuuDie(m): 10:46am On Feb 08, 2012
Tosinville:

^Don't think so, married men sharing their experiences is helpful for those that are plannin to go into it.

True that. . . .for me personally, I need direction die!!!
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by wiscul4: 11:20am On Feb 08, 2012
can vary person to person smiley
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by yam: 11:22am On Feb 08, 2012
Pls i need the advice badly because of my fianance status i am thinking of marrying my old school mate because i think she is richer and that my help me too. though i like her, pls share yours.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Killz3(m): 11:24am On Feb 08, 2012
My chairman, state of finances is subjective o! A man who got married 5 years ago and a man who got married last month will surely give you conflicting responses and ideas! An idea that never fails is : Plan ahead! If you fail to plan, you have incontrovertibly planned to fail! No matter what your state of finance is, cut your coat according to your size. Dont spend to impress, as you alone will suffer the consequences even after receiving cheers and accolades from people who attended your gathering! What ever it is that takes care of you on a monthly basis, add another 120% to it and that should give you an idea of what to expect. Change is constant. Economic situations are deteriorating. Align and position yourself, your pockets, and your bank account(s) to change accordingly. . . IMHO!

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Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by highland(m): 11:27am On Feb 08, 2012
As per finance, God will always do the magic immediately you start.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by jaybee3(m): 11:33am On Feb 08, 2012
RuuDie:

This is straight-up question to the married and perhaps soon to be married guys here on NL. . . . .what was (is) the state of your finances at the point of you deciding to get married and how much of an influence it had (has)? How confident you felt making such a decision in view of what you already had in hand money-wise and what you were expecting??
Finance being very important when considering marriage has to be healthy but surely not the most important thing to be considered when getting married.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by tellwisdom: 11:37am On Feb 08, 2012
As per finance, God will always do the magic immediately you start.

You must be a DRUG ADICT for saying this angry angry # You smoke alot undecided undecided
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Real247: 11:39am On Feb 08, 2012
Marriage needs money but it is not all about money. What matters most is the understanding between the parties.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Ad4(m): 11:40am On Feb 08, 2012
First,marriage's a blessing that attracts God's favor.If you look at your present financial state and also the country at large,you might never get married.There're people who had no money in the bank and little to show but bodly stepped into marriage and things turned for the best.Also,people who had fat jobs(bank job) and stepped into marriage confortabily but now,things're not the way its suppose to be.I got into marriage when I was earning a little above N100k and when I had a good level of experience in my career.I didn't have much savings and my wife just finished her NYSC.I entered into marriage bodly and God has been faithful.Its all about God's favor!There're things you shld do b4 marriage: 1. Get a job or a good source of income(never depend or have hope on anyone even your family,wife and wife's family) 2. Get a place to stay even if its not too equiped 3. Try and get to a level in your career or business that's confortably so you can switch companies easily.Don't start a fresh career or business while in marriage,you might regret it 4. Learn to pray.

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Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by WaltherPPK: 11:50am On Feb 08, 2012
tellwisdom:

You must be a DRUG ADICT for saying this angry angry # You smoke alot undecided undecided

You are a lunatic! The guy made a very good point from his experience which I will also corroborate. I had the grace of God immediately I took the decision to get married and my finances took a quatum leap from a single deal.I think little boys of your age should not get into discussions of this kind.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by mufikings(m): 11:54am On Feb 08, 2012
Ad+:

First,marriage's a blessing that attracts God's favor.If you look at your present financial state and also the country at large,you might never get married.There're people who had no money in the bank and little to show but bodly stepped into marriage and things turned for the best.Also,people who had fat jobs(bank job) and stepped into marriage confortabily but now,things're not the way its suppose to be.I got into marriage when I was earning a little above N100k and when I had a good level of experience in my career.I didn't have much savings and my wife just finished her NYSC.I entered into marriage bodly and God has been faithful.Its all about God's favor!There're things you shld do b4 marriage: 1. Get a job or a good source of income(never depend or have hope on anyone even your family,wife and wife's family) 2. Get a place to stay even if its not too equiped 3. Try and get to a level in your career or business that's confortably so you can switch companies easily.Don't start a fresh career or business while in marriage,you might regret it 4. Learn to pray.

Well said, well said, thanks for this insight.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by stagger: 11:56am On Feb 08, 2012
1) You must have an income source to cater for a family of 2 or 3.
2) You must have covered your rent for at least a year.
3) Savings that equate to living expenses for at least 6 months.

No kidding! Marriage no be joke and it is not for kids!
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by SPIFF(m): 11:58am On Feb 08, 2012
I believed according to killz, cut your coat according to your cloth. Wedding is wedding even if it is only 5 people that are there. You don't have to stress your finance because you want to impress certain set of people. what will you fall back on after the wedding. The first few months after the wedding is always tough most especially if both of you are on 30days make a pay job. I will advice you, you store enough food in the house that will last like 3months for you and your spouse after the wedding. One thing that am so certain of is that no matter the amount of money you spend on your wedding, you cannot satisfy all. You will still hear some people that will say I wasn't served. Talking from experience anyway. Despite that the caterer went back home about 12 coolers of food, according to report i got some people still complain they were not served or served well while some even ate thrice. Another thing is that, you must plan and organize it very well. Even though you hire the service of party planners, you still need a close guy or friends or relative for supervisory role because the planner doesn't know who is who. So it's your supervisors that will be monitoring them, not necessarily to interfere but to correct them when there is mistake or simple oversight. If not, you might spend millions and the wedding will still be a flop and if you plan well, you might spend little and be as if you broke the treasury for the wedding.

Last thing I must equally note, the first year after wedding is the crucial period that will determine if the union will last or not because you are just getting to know each other. I advice you should have any third party with you. No In-laws should be allowed. All the best.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Nobody: 12:00pm On Feb 08, 2012
...pls delete
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by nnaobodo1: 12:03pm On Feb 08, 2012
RuuDie:

This is straight-up question to the married and perhaps soon to be married guys here on NL. . . . .what was (is) the state of your finances at the point of you deciding to get married and how much of an influence it had (has)? How confident you felt making such a decision in view of what you already had in hand money-wise and what you were expecting??

Personally,i got married last year February and I started planning for my wedding 3yrs b4 dat big day.
I neva knew my wife,I was just saving money for 2011 and my plan was to go to ghana or calabar for honeymoon but God surprised me.
I will tell you,if God is not with your plans,You will neva accomplish it.3 weeks to my wedding,i got a business deal that gave me 1 million naira,i travelled to london with my wife for honeymoon.
Everything we do in life requires planning as i am talking to you,i have started planning for my unborn kids.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by alexleo(m): 12:05pm On Feb 08, 2012
I got married when i just graduated from the university and was about to go for my youth service. I had no much money for wedding but when i stepped out in faith with the very little money i had and that of my parents, things started working out. Friends started giving me support. Afer my wedding my wife had to live with my parents while i went for youth service. It was my allowee that i used to maintain my wife then she got a job. Before i finished serving God provided for us miraculousy and we got a house. I finished my youth service and there was no job yet so we continued to manage my wife's meagre salary. It was not easy for us then but today the story has changed greatly. By the grace of God we are living very comfortably. What am saying in summary is - commit thy ways unto the Lord and He shall direct thy path.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by sayso: 12:11pm On Feb 08, 2012
Just make the decision and and everything over to GOD.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by debosky(m): 12:19pm On Feb 08, 2012
Having a job/regular income is the minimum expectation you should set for yourself - don’t go into marriage without having a somewhat reliable income source.

Your personal situation will determine how much you need to have before marrying. If you need to foot the bills for the wedding ceremonies yourself, then you likely need more money, but in that situation you can control the scale of the ceremonies. If your/her parents are paying, then you need less. It also depends on how much your wife will be bringing into the union and her tastes/expectations. If she has income then factor that in; if she doesn’t, plan accordingly.

Like others have said, you need to PLAN - for many naija folk, getting married equals having a kid less than a year later. If that is what you plan to do, you should be able to afford a baby in a year - don’t underestimate how much that would cost! If you know you can’t afford a baby in a year, make sure your wife and family understand and you PLAN for delaying childbirth for a year or two so you can provide properly for that new life.

I don’t doubt the place of prayer and God providing, but too often people use that as an excuse not to plan or prepare. Going into marriage unprepared is a recipe for failure, and once you introduce kids, others may start suffering for your mistakes so be very clear on what you can/can’t afford and when you can afford it. Unexpected things do happen, but if you’ve done some planning/thinking ahead of time, you’re better able to respond if things change.

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Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Niseamaka(m): 12:30pm On Feb 08, 2012
tellwisdom:

You must be a DRUG ADICT for saying this angry angry # You smoke alot undecided undecided


FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN HIM, GOD PLAYS A VERY VITAL ROLE IN SOLVING THE FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES OF MARRIED COUPLES.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by alorauzoms(m): 12:31pm On Feb 08, 2012
A nice thread. D bible say he who fineth a wife obtains favor frm BABA GOD, dat I hv witness. Marrige is on ma mind right  but personally I can't go into marrige witout hvin a reasonable source of income and my own crib.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by DisGuy: 12:44pm On Feb 08, 2012
WaltherPPK:

You are a lunatic! The guy made a very good point from his experience which I will also corroborate. I had the grace of God immediately I took the decision to get married and my finances took a quatum leap from a single deal.I think little boys of your age should not get into discussions of this kind.

Bros abeg no follow this people, you know the type that give birth to 10 kids one after the other with the 'God go provide mantra'

Please make sure you job is stable in the long term and your girlfriend has a job or is employable if not she is responsible enough to run a small business.

this is the very least, just imagine how stressed you are when you are broke- then multiply it by 10 if you are having to be responsible for someone else. make sure you salary is enough for you and then some!!
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Umunede(m): 1:01pm On Feb 08, 2012
I had a stable income and even had a personal car b4 I went into marriage but miraculously my Finance improved just after the marriage. There is blessing in marriage o.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by lucom: 1:03pm On Feb 08, 2012
highland:

As per finance, God will always do the magic immediately you start.
sayso:

Just make the decision and and everything over to GOD.

Spot on guys, just decide you want to get married and you'll be surprised the way the founder and author of the marriage institution(almighty God) will step in and make it work. I still remember vividly how God sent help to me some months to the wedding and trust me my wedding was way beyond what I was earning then and still has a lot of money after the wedding. It was really amazing.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Nobody: 1:07pm On Feb 08, 2012
In Nigeria if u are waiting to be financially healthy b4 u get married, then u will grow old, just do it the Afghanistan way
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by obelisk(m): 1:07pm On Feb 08, 2012
confer with your intended wife, set up a plan and a budjet.Save the amount and start executing.
Any other is a gamble.
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Waleyem(m): 1:12pm On Feb 08, 2012
Whao!!!! Got smtin,
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by alorauzoms(m): 1:14pm On Feb 08, 2012
@ umunede, nwanna na so oooo, But na war 4 som, !
@ odiero, *laughing*
Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by HISchild: 1:15pm On Feb 08, 2012
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." - Proverbs 18:22

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