Stats: 3,190,905 members, 7,942,267 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 September 2024 at 05:10 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? (9795 Views)
9 Tips For Keeping The Spark Alive In Your Marriage / Do Live-In Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? / Common Problems Nigerians Living Abroad Face From Relatives (2) (3) (4)
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by abiodunkaraki: 5:20am On Feb 27, 2012 |
yes they do, |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by stallion2: 6:24am On Feb 27, 2012 |
mrs chima what i they are your relatives? |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kushiyandro: 8:26am On Feb 27, 2012 |
yes!!! |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by member67023: 9:48am On Feb 27, 2012 |
In most nigerian marriages, whether the in-laws live-in or not, a man is not only married to the wife but also her relatives. The man is expected to fulfill all their dreams, solve all their problems, provide their daily bread and more. Or else he is not a good husband. |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by ocelot2006(m): 10:30am On Feb 27, 2012 |
Well that's their problem. Last time I checked, I paid the bride price for my wife ONLY, not that of her family members. 2 Likes |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by XX01(f): 10:34am On Feb 27, 2012 |
Not always. They can be helpful and also be company. |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by member67023: 12:30pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
Some will ask you to 'lend' them money they know they are not going to pay back. |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kemisuga(f): 3:21pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
Wat of in case the relative is leaving with his brother before the wife comes in. Does the couple need to pursue the relative? ![]() |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by agiboma(f): 3:29pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
yes they do in so many ways |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Jemibee: 4:00pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
I'm TOTALLY against it. But in marriage, there're many things u didn't bargain for that eventually pop up and you just have to flow with it. This is applicable to the wives (who have little or no say), you just have to continue surviving, hoping and praying it ends soonEST. But in rare cases, it has to do with u helping them (relatives) such as travelling abroad and they have to stay with you till they can fend for themeselves, enrolling in school and so they get to live comfortably at ur place instead of being on campus where there's no supervision. In these cases, u just have to be of help but i'd advice they come up later in the marriage and not at the early stage. |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by imurboss: 4:03pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
@kemisuga,this is my own case when i got married.My husband's siblings were already staying with him before i came,so when i came they were trying to like take control as if to say it is still their house and i'm only a stranger in my own house.Imagine that kind of situation,so i think even if they were living there before the wife comes,it should be different immediately the wife arrives.It was a serious problem and it only took the grace of God for them not to divide us.It doesn't matter if they were living there before or not,infact immediately they start hearing plans of wedding,they should also be planning to change otherwise it's a big problem. 2 Likes |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by eros(m): 5:06pm On Feb 27, 2012 |
[size=16pt]YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by gabbytabby: 5:08pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
It is best to get some time to bond together as a new couple and family should leave you to be by yourself especially in the 1st year. Having said this it is only one member of my family that has been sucessful in doing it. The wife and husband told their parents and relatives that they have decided on this and no one stays overnight in their home. The boys mother is a real busy body and the girl is a real daddy's girl no everyone knows that you need to be invited before you can stay over. Some of them would move in just before the wife so that they can say they were living there when the idea was that they were only coming for a weekend or maybe 2 or 3 before the wedding and to help with the wedding. This happened to me and I was not too pleased. I really put my foot down and did not park in until the coast was clear and for 6 months I had my home to us. 1 Like |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by recruitmnt: 5:55pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
Mos def! |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by agiboma(f): 6:01pm On Apr 22, 2012 |
yes they definetly doo. |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kiki85: 5:05pm On Aug 07, 2012 |
I am in a situation where me and hubby(not yet married but planning) have been together going on 3 years. The entire time we have never really had any alone time with one another. The reason for that is because I was a caregiver for my grandmother which he understood and was there for us. We have 2 daughters and one bundle on the way. My grandmother just deceased last month July 22. Now 2 weeks later I have a female cousin whom is 21 yrs old with a son who needs to get away but has a home where she's at. She tells me that she needs to get away for just a week, but when I talk to her she's talking about getting a job and all while she's here. That sounds like she planning on moving in for a while. I cannot deal with this, I have a gut feeling that this is gonna turn out bad. I don't want my kindness blown up in my face. How do I explain to her that this lil arrangement isn't gonna work without really hurting her feelings ya know, cuz she's like a sister to me? |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Nobody: 7:24pm On Aug 07, 2012 |
Yes 1 Like |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by minute(f): 7:37pm On Aug 07, 2012 |
Always a disaster. Don't do it. 1 Like |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by lukaino(m): 12:11pm On Aug 08, 2012 |
I allowed my wife's two siblings into our home and since then, a big gap now exists between my wife and i. We hardly communicate, we're no longer the friends we used to be. Now she is by far closer to her siblings than to me. sometimes i feel so lonely at home as my wife spends most of her time with her siblings in their room. I'm trying to correct it now but my every step would be misunderstood by all except me. Young couple do not allow yourself to be caught in this trap, could be very frustrating. ITS A NO NO! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by kiki85: 7:13pm On Aug 10, 2012 |
I decided to go ahead and keep it real with her by letting her know it just wouldn't work. I just caught a break from also allowing my sis n brother to stay with me for like a year. It brought me and my hubby to a lot of arguing. I am so relieved right now to be able to have our relationship back. I just have to understand that I can't save everyone. I believe I made the best decision, it's time for me & my family to live now! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by Ranoscky(m): 10:20am On Aug 13, 2012 |
mobf: ^you sure about that?Ofcourse! |
Re: Do Live-in Relatives Ruin The Spark In A Marriage? by hannydarl(f): 12:53pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Wow so Naija guys like spark in marriage? What with all this married woman should not complain when oga eats all meat, married woman should smile when oga cheats on her cos men are scarce, married woman should not post her photo on internet, married woman should make sure she greets oga first, married woman should not expect oga to help at home,married woman should submit salary to oga, married woman should not own anything that is not bought in oga's name , married woman should kneel when greeting and serving oga food, married woman should look for a way to feed oga good food even when he can't provide much etc etc I believe spark in marriage is mainly for the man, going by some posts men make on NL. 1 Like |
Pls Help My Sister! / How To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend Or Husband- A Must Read For Ladies! / Questions For Married Men
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 27 |