Jenny when i am here calling my husband a king and praising him everyday some people will say i am "chessy". I no blame them, Thank God say una own na only to hear, my own i lived through the ordeal. Me everyday i thank God and praise my husband, every day i send him a text reminding him of how I love him and how happy I am to be with him, He deserves more than i can ever give him. A man who comes home exactly the same time everyday, doesnt drink or smoke, hanging out consists of taking me and my son out, I have free access to his phone, computer etc, a man who will rather die than see anything happen to me. My sisters I thank God every minute

OGA'S VOLTRONS ARE OUT IN FULL FORCE,bear in mind that none of them have mentioned the abuse-CULLED FROM LIB

Anonymous said...
Obviously this story was posted by someone privy to their marriage and knows much of what happened over the 12years they were married - Ogoo's elder sister Uzo, who incidentally was the only person her name was mentioned in the write-up (apart from Ogoo's children and husband).
She pretends to love her sister so much, no wonder she lured her to her death just to achieve a personnal vendetta she probably haboured against Ogoo from childhood (Ogoo, as the last child was loved and must have been pampared to the envy of her older sister).
As if Ogoo's death was not enogh for her she acted to wipe out every thing that would remind anybody that Ogoo ever existed, by ordering her relations that were taking care of Ogoo's childre to abandon the kids and return home, a day after their mother died, w[b]hen their father was away arranging for proper care of the corpse of his loved wife (the older of the kids is less than 4yrs old).[/b]
One would expect a loving sister's first concern to be how to take good care of her sister's little children instead of abandoning them to die.
How wicked this woman - Uzo is! She will not succeed in fooling people that she did not cause the death of her sister by luring her to go for an unscheduled surgery. What kind of surgery is done without adequate medical tests and proper scientific analysis of the results. Was this done between Saturday and the Monday of the surgery? Uzo's machination to kill her sister.
March 25, 2012 10:56 PM

Ibobabe they mention abuse oh but in Nigeria we dont call it abuse we call it "challenges, up and downs, issues, quarels" In our culture beating a woman is not abuse, it is a "normal " challenge in marriage

FROM ANOTHER POSTER-LIB

Anonymous said...
omg!!!! i knw Kevin... i really cant believe its him, i meet him around 2005 but dated around 2008 and 2009. he told me he is a divorcée , was married to a white woman. Has only 1 kid, i was almost loving up totally. he was even helping me work my travelling visa to yankee cos he works with Mobil in houston so i can stay with him. Thank God for my family that has a strict rule dat no1 must marry a divorcee. he was to come meet ma mum, when i told her.. she said never. i should go look for my own husband.

But in all honesty... he is a really sweet guy. you need to hear his voice (like a woman), he is very soft and gentle.. thou he has alot of money, i didnt fall for all dat. he knws au to respect a woman..

no1 should insult me oo... im just saying the side of him i knw, guess he was pretending to me. or maybe his family pushed him to all the things he did. WHO KNOWS, ONLY GOD KNOWS
March 26, 2012 9:26 AM

This is truly a sad story and i sympathize with the kids. But please, where are the family members of the women while she is being maltreated. I know that my father or my siblings for that natter, will never allow me to stay in a marriage where i am continually being abused. in as much as we do not want to encourage women to enter marriage with the mindset of divorce, we also should encourage them to have some level of independence. Its really important that women don't marry against their parents wishes (especially/only when the parents have reasonable reasons for objecting) that way when things dont work out, they have somewhere to go.

I dated a guy for 3 years and when i found out he cheated, i nearly killed me. The number of people that advised me to stay were numerous, even married friends. It wasnt easy but after 6 months i knew i cldnt handle it and i left. During that 6 months i saw myself becoming someone i was not and that was leading to depression. I had to tell myself that it was my life and na me the shoe de pinch. People will give advise, but ultimately the choice is yours.

Do we think its hard to leave, YES! But at some point women need to stand up and start taking control of their destiny. It is not mine to remain with a cheat or a wife beater. I will rather remain single or divorced.

This nonsense about women not having anywhere to go, honestly if you take the first step, things will fall into place somehow. The problem is Nigerian women have been conditioned to live with such animalistic behavior from men and its really sad. Another thing is Nigerian women like to be kept. Some of them know that the man is not marriage material, but they go ahead and marry him cos of money or what ever. Its even worse now cos girls are so materialistic and will sell themselves for BB or human hair. Its high time we started being independent of our men. As a married women, contribute to the house income, even if it is 10k. Do something for yourself, that way when things go wrong, you have a life of your own you can build on

@ debrief,
Lol,real challenges oooo

The opning line for advice by DINAO crew whether in a case of extremem cheatin or abuse is "Marriage is full of challenges" challenges in our case can mean anything from infecting you with Gonorehea to locking you in the boot of the car

@ debrief
i am shocked none of them have come to at least offer some advice to our fellow women reading this.
WAGBAN & DINAO where are you naw??

ibobabe: @ debrief
i am shocked none of them have come to at least offer some advice to our fellow women reading this.
WAGBAN & DINAO where are you naw??

You go wait taya, probably the mans defence was not strong enough for them to work with becuase usually they show at this point to present reasonable "doubt" and justify the mans actions. If we had started this thread and kept the RIP drama, and so sad they for show, but as we start with attack and vexing they still dey gather and arrange their story

The way the "gang of divorcees" pounced on this story, l knew something was fishy!

I was also "perturbed" by a few discrepancy in the story that made me pause and wonder: Did the "deceased woman" write the story before her death or was it just one "crying more than the bereaved" that is trying to whip-up sentiments, to justify a "hidden agenda", that wrote this story?

As usual, we Nigerians (especially those whom it suits their marital status) like to "jump and condemn" others, just to feel good!

For example, the "story teller" narrated how the man "sold her car" while she was in hospital.
What crossed my mind was: Was he is dire need of money? What good is that car to Ogo, while bed-ridden? if they needed more money and he cant produce it, is it wrong to sell one of your "idle assets" (her car in this case, as she was hospitalized and cant drive it. thus, it makes sense to sell it to help defray hospital cost, since when she recovers her health, the husband can always buy another for her; he bought it before naah!)

But the "story teller" wickedly portrayed the husband as uncaring or just evil for selling the car!

Again, l see a lot of "ignorance" being played out by both couples in this matter:
1.) If you cant have children, whats wrong with adoption? (She and the husband kevin, should have considered this; I know children occupy a central pedestal in any African/Nigerian marriage but then, life is more important!). Those Surgical procedures were too many.

2.) Why not try IVF? Of course, ignorance on both part again!

3.) Your husband gave them a wrong Hospital Name: The "story-teller" cleverly construed this to mean the husband was uncaring?
Why would l want everyone in my "Place of WORK" to know where my wife is hospitalized or know "the Depth" of her illness? Did anyone know the depth or place of hospitalization of our former President (UMYA), till he passed away? Does it not occur to all of you that "discreetness" in such matters, at that stage, is a must? "A case of calling a Dog a bad name, so you can hang it, abi?"
Again, why would she go to the "office" directly, against the husband's wish, for fund raising, on a purely "private and personal" matter?

4.) As sadly as it ended that she "died", l find it very wicked that this "faceless story-teller" (its very convenient to remain anonymous, right) now blames the husband for her death? Please!
Did the Doctor not tell her NOT HAVE ANOTHER OPERATION? Did she listen? Did she tell her husband or defied his advise (and Doctors) in going for another surgery?
Did anyone find it "strange" that it was her SISTER who signed for her (next of Kin and Indemnity Form), for the Surgery to go ahead? What part did Ken, the husband play in this, that he should now be blamed for it?

Well, if anyone wants to promote "Divorce" as an alternative to "marital problems" (especially those who claim to have been through it, while not telling us their own "contribution to the collapse of their marriage" but blame everything on their "monster husband", please go ahead and advocate but posterity would not forgive you if you want to use this issue as a platform or excuse.

There is a Cliche that goes: "There is safety in numbers", even the Devil does not want to be the only one that goes to hell fire"!

Unfortunately, there are millions of us, who are enjoying our husbands, millions of us who think "men, our husbands" are the best thing that God ever created! Our marriage is not completely perfect as no "amalgamation of two grown-ups" is (marriage), but with love, devotion, respect, trust, kind words that drive away anger, total support and focus on the success of the union and the belief in our marital vows", we daily overcome the challenges.

I do not advocate violence from "any of the spouses" but it seems, like the "very strong gay lobby", women who have trashed their marriage on the "alter of modernism and westernization" now want everyone to JOIN THEM ASAP, using all sort of ploys and capitalizing on every available one-sided story, real or imagined, to drive home their warped idea of humanity!!

"..and God said to the woman, "Your desires shall ALWAYS BE for your husband" or is it not so?
HE also said, Husbands, "Love your wives" and to the woman again, HE said, "Honor your Husband". These is all we need to do and focus on, these is what we need to teach the younger generations, not some "Pack your bag and Leave" nonsense that these single mothers are preaching!

How many of you "men-are-monsters brigade" actually HONOR YOUR HUSBAND? Be honest to yourself. Did you not nag and rubbish him to bits, did you not dare him at every stage? Did you not "ask Police to throw him out of the house" as is standard practice in your "civilized world"? Did you not attempt to ruin his life when you no longer wanted him anymore? What about faithfulness, can you cross your heart and say you never cheated on him? I can go one forever! You Reap what you Sow, that is life except that people always think they are too smart and can get away with "anything".

Who send una message? If you cannot manage your husband (or where you blinded by his riches that you failed to notice "the incompatibility" before you married him) how else can you manage your life? If he was your boss at a job you cherished, would you not adapt and adjust just to make sure things work out?
But because you live where "Govt gives you some peasant handout to become a "single mother" (and you end up destroying your happiness, your life and that of your children, for the sake of some filthy lucre), you think that makes you "a model of emulation", when you should be ashamed of being "a MARITAL FAILURE"

All of you wannabe 'divorcees' can abuse me all you want but one thing l am proud of is that "Mr. Lastpage" thinks l am the best thing that happened to his life, he will always be "my desire" as God commands; (Go and read where he said he would kneel down to beg me (and l would do same to him gladly) if need be, if just to save our marriage!,). Since l would not dare him, how then can he be violent towards me?
Whether we like it or not, men are naturally "physically stronger" than women and in a case of physical confrontation, the woman will be the looser but a "smart woman" would do everything to avoid confrontation with her husband after-all, "A foolish woman destroys her home" is how the Bible itself puts it (I know you dont wanna hear the Bible right now , yet it was God that instituted marriage and you'all went through a beautiful church wedding!)

It takes maturity, selflessness and God's grace to navigate marital challenges but anyone can do it successfully, if they put in the necessary "commitments".
Anyway, "We are truly in the "last days", whence even the thief will dance openly with his stolen loot"!
All na "civilization and liberation".

RIP Ogo, l wish you rest from your torments and l pray that your husband and kids would find the strength to survive this ordeal.


Lastpage.

Ibobabe and your crew have started arriving, long story justify and excuse and finally sya RIP. Told you, see as dem arrange the story, heheheheeee

@ debrief.

It is to be expected,hehehehehe.And no one is a wannabe divorcee,everyone wants a happy ending.However,if you are facing some 'challenges' and your life is at stake,run away,go to your family till your spouse manages the 'challenges' with intense counselling.

WELCOME WAGBAN AND DINAO

Even if we are to believe Kevin's apologists, don't they think it strange that the wife's family is even insinuating such? What kind of life could they have been living for his in'laws to say such things in public? Thay should use their tongue to count their teeth.

Though i find some of their arguments to be persuasive and has some truth, for the most part, it lacks merit.

ibobabe: @ debrief.

It is to be expected,hehehehehe.And no one is a wannabe divorcee,everyone wants a happy ending.However,if you are facing some 'challenges' and your life is at stake,run away,go to your family till your spouse manages the 'challenges' with intense counselling.

WELCOME WAGBAN AND DINAO

Am loving you jare, how did I forget the line " I am not trying to justify adultery or wife beating" then they go ahead and justify it anyway as if the first sentence makes it less wicked, lol. Anyway no need attempting to reason or even understand the way they reason, na the women and men wey listen to them stay die na dem sabi, if you need someone to keep telling you in the face of imminent danger to run for your life then your mumu go last. "challenges" I get challenges oh but my own challenges for my marriage na leave the toilet sit down, dont litter the whole house with your clothes, what TV chanel to watch, you spend too much money on your shoes etc, normal healthy husband and wife challenges, when e enter beating and cheating no be challenges and ups and downs na disrespect and major deal breakers

I have said and will continue to say, no one should stay in an abusive marriage. So because the man did not choke her to death he is a saint.

@lastpage, if your husband loves you so much that he humbles himself to kneel for your sake then you are not in a position to give any advice on what a troubled marriage feels like.

No wise woman would tear down her house with her own hands.Who does not want a peaceful and stable home?Who wants to come home to fighting and strife.
What God loving woman would cheat on her husband please?

We all have our opinions and no one will attack anyone for their own views.If your own way of life gives you peace,fine.If mine living in the westernised country makes my husband run home to me everyday,fine.Praise God for all happy families,and for the horrible ones,i pray you get help.
Different strokes for different folks.

Do not forget that an abuser needs little to no provocation.Narcissists love only themselves and will only use others for their own benefit.
All i know is that no man/woman deserves to be abused simple and short.

NO MARRIAGE IS PERFECT!! we work hard to make it work and overcome our differences but when 'challanges' come in form of tying up with rope,flogging with belt and threatening with knife,it's time for a break to rethink and get counselling if possible.

i'm actually laughing now - so a man pays for his wife's medical treatment and that is meant to view him as an angel - na wah for common sense. B4 incor who is going to pay for it, so now we women should now tell linda ikeji when we cook egusi soup for our husband.

Abeg - let me give my child her food - hold on wait o I have to put it on facebook so that when she writes her own story I will tell the world I looked after her.

Was that lastpage or the "wife" ?

I don't agree with some parts of your posts though you raised fine points in regards the way and manner of death.
I still believe all was NOT well in the marriage prior the last surgery and there were much strain and negative vibes in both in-laws camps.

Why was the husband not at the hospital to stop that last surgery?IMO,that was what any truly loving husband would do.
why is he not talking about the domestic violence accusations?is he really guilty?
why did the sister sign the idemnity form?

^^
My dear,i dunno the answer to your questions.I am just doing gbeborun from LIB.
The bad blood between them is very obvious and i'm pretty sure her burial will be WARZONE.
The man and his defendants said absolutely nothing on the battery which is what is heating this thread up..
Domestic Violence faced by men/women who never speak up till it's too late.

A relative of hers wrote that she said nothing and most of them did not know anything till it was too late.I find that hard to believe though.But the koko be say the man dey beat am shegge.

Did she dress sexy to please him and make him stop hating her?I dunno. Was she obedient and giving him pedicures after the beatings?I dunno. Did she try to stop the things that annoyed him?I dunno. Did she submit totally to him as the head of the home?I dunno. Did she dare him to do his worst?Me, i no know. Did she do her best to cook delicious food to lure him back?I have no clue.Did she pray and fast and endure waiting for him to change?I no know o!Should she have left the situation and both of them gone to a qualified counsellor? Questions that can never be answered.

She is STONE COLD DEAD and that's all that matters.

I have been checking my Bible and all passages concerning marriage for the last 30 mins I still have not seen the "till death do you part" place. Where is that found in the Bible? Most of us are quick to quote that to justify why people should stay in unhappy marriages and also please where is " what God has put together , let no man put assunder " found too? Are these biblical teachings or just words that have assumed a whole new meaning? Help am lost

debrief08: I have been checking my Bible and all passages concerning marriage for the last 30 mins I still have not seen the "till death do you part" place. Where is that found in the Bible? Most of us are quick to quote that to justify why pwoplw should stay in unhappy marriages and also please where is " what God has put together , let no man put assunder " found too? Are these biblical teachings or just words that have assumed a whole new meaning? Help am lost

preach my sister cos that bible is quite clear as to what ground u can use to divorce.

lurkee: I have said and will continue to say, no one should stay in an abusive marriage. So because the man did not choke her to death he is a saint.

@lastpage, if your husband loves you so much that he humbles himself to kneel for your sake then you are not in a position to give any advice on what a troubled marriage feels like.

Just like people who have destroyed their own marriage are NOT IN A POSITION to offer advice on what a blissful marriage feels like, right?
Just using your logic o!
I am happy that the evil "association members" are "kind enough" to cull some of the "statements" of people who really know this two (I dont know them and never heard of them) from LI's blog. From the account of people who had stayed under the same roof with them, people who have worked with the husband (including that one who says "everybody in the office dislikes Ken), one can still read a "good report" about he husband!

Only just strange that the "old husband-less brigade" are only interested in condemning ALL MEN!
It is wrong to say all women are beasts just like it is wrong to say Men are Monsters, just because you cant handle yours naah!

Why are these bitches ex-wives focusing on the negative innuendos written by the sister who signed her sister's "death-warrant" (knowing that she was not supposed to undergo surgery, especially in a Naija hospital! LKWMD) while ignoring the "positive comments" by those who really knew them and have no "hidden interest" in this matter? Does that not portray them as vengeful women who have made it their lot in life to be man-haters?

Truth is bitter. As you lay your bed, so you will lie on it. Dont blame someone else for your failure, blame yourself!
*Why are they not mentioning that Ogo has a serious medical condition that caused her death, coupled with bad medical advice?
*Why are they not interested in the fact that the husband tried everything humanly he could do, to get his wife's ailment treated?
*Why are they not interested in the fact that the man loved his daughter? (Like all men, they are usually close to their daughters that Mothers could get jealous at times, l have one and l know this,; but the wicked sister writing this E-mail painted a wicked picture that they would rather believe!)
*Why is it that it is usually women who have destroyed and lost their own marriage that are always overly critical of our husbands? Why do they want to encourage others to join them?
*Since we are not a witness to what happened, we can only rely on "stories" we read but is it not a good evidence of an "evil heart" if anyone chose to accept a story that vilifies the husband while pretending and condemning those that show the husband in good light? Why cant people be "fair to all concerned" in a public issue like this? Do we not know the effect on the children as well?

Now, tell me, in specific sentences, THE CRIMES OF THIS HUSBAND THAT RESULTED DIRECTLY IN THE DEATH OF HIS WIFE.
Thank God you agreed he did not strangle her, at least we can start from there. He is no saint (I suspect he is one of those men that carry babes; too much money, sick wife, big-boy lifestyle, e.t.c) but IS HE A MURDERER as portrayed by his wife's sister?

Lastpage.

BTW: My husband does not humble himself before me, he does not need to as l treat him like a king that he really is, but he treats me with love and kindness and treasures his marriage, as much as l do. We do have differences as l pointed out earlier but will l rush and throw my marriage into the bin like those ones up there, at the slightest sign of "serious differences between us", God forbid.
I will let him finish his "shakara and gra-gra" first, "without adding fire to the frying pan", then l will call him to the table and tell him my mind, "frankly but without disrespecting or hurting his manly ego".
By the time l finish with him, even he will agree that it is 'woman that bore man' and he would have no other option than to see his error; done properly, he would have no choice than to apologize with a promise of proper behavior!
That is marriage for you: its like a sea trip; sometimes quiet, sometimes swift, some times blissful, sometimes stormy!

We must understand that it is fruitless for a wife to engage in a "war of muscles" with your husband, use what is called "bedroom diplomacy" and all women must (should have) learnt it! But then, like beget likes, daughter of 'single mother', who go teach am, wetin she go teach her daughter if not what she has practiced?

We truly live in an unpredictable world. With people ruining others peoples life for selfish gains. Definitely, if late Ogo was to be faced with current realities, going to this level of shamelessness (media publication) would not have been an option. I honestly believe that if the rules of the game had been followed strictly as prescribed, Ogo won’t have died. Even in the morgue were she is, she would still not negotiate this senseless and shameless act of unwarranted grievances were her opinion sought. Unfortunately, the dead can’t talk. But I strongly believe that she made her mark in the short time she lived and I trust God for His favour and Mercy upon her as she rests in His bosom. The couple in questions

Wonderful write up it is! But it's unheard that the dead wrote. The writer aim is to tell a story of a woman who labored and died to express her unappreciated love to her husband or a caution for women to not love their husbands, It is unfortunate that the writer had been able to capture the hearts of the audience to the extend where they had dished all manner of causes and comments on the late woman's hubby (Kevin). Possibly already achieving his/her aims; I would use this opportunity to caution our commentators to always show restraint till the full story is heard. First, I do not intend to join issues with the writer but I want to state that the story is lopsided. You might agree to some extent that every marriage have their expectation. If a couple who were married in 12yrs with 2 kids still leaves together, it means they had been able to surmount their challenges. This is while I would also advise our women. Don't ever think you are an island in the midst of your in-laws, it doesn't matter how beautiful you are. We are still in Africa were women are expected to marry men as well as members of the man's entire family and show them respect. For me, this is the easiest way to get aligned with the family. But when pride and possessiveness cause you to disrespect your in-laws, then you are bound to face problem. The writer of this story is very selfish, perhaps the late Ogo confided in the writer while she was alive. Possibly too, the late Ogo never also told the writer the many times Kevin sold landed properties to pay hospital bills, the many times a laboring husband came back home from work to fall on empty stomach without food at home or the number of year late Ogo had spent in the US of the 12yrs of marriage while attending to her health issues. As I mentioned before, every marriages have their expectations. If your expectation is to have children and they are not forthcoming, there is bound to be issues. If a woman who never showed signs of sickness prior to marriage suddenly started falling heal barely 12days after marriage, there is bound to be problem, perhaps she hid the sickness from her hubby before marriage, alot comes to the bare. While I share pains with Kevin for having to experience this sad phase of his marital life undermining hitherto the so much that he had spent to salvage the life of his lovely wife, for making several sacrifices to get the marriage going, close confidants such as the writer of this story is desperately trying to make sure more pains are inflicted. It’s shameful and most pitiable. I could only say this much because I knew this couple. For God sake which marriage is a bed of roses? None!

Please Mr/Mrs writer whatever you are stop this calumny. We don't know you but from your right up we suspect who you are. In retrospect, Late Ogo had done 7 surgeries in the 12yrs of marriage. The last was when she had the second baby during which she temporarily passed out. At recovery, she was warned never to have the 8th or any more surgeries in her life time as her ailment would henceforth be therapeutically managed. All of this fell on deaf ears because people such as the writer were envious of late Ogo and unfortunately, Ogo didn't live long enough to see it. Having just being referred to a specialist in Lagos, and agreed with her husband on the "No surgery Rules" she arrived the hospital and decided with one of her sisters, which I strongly suspected is the writer of this story to go for a surgery. As you all know, till today when a patient goes for surgery a guarantor is expected to sign on her behalf. Typically for married women, their husband. While Kevin was still at work and persistently invoking the "No surgery rule" late Ogo's sister signed for her to carry on with the procedure/surgery. Which was a grievous disrespect for Kevin. And the woman died!! If anyone is to be blamed, it is whoever signed against the "No surgery rule".....she signed Ogo's death warrant. Now, going to the internet to tell a story in order to mope up sympathy or perhaps exonerate self is uncalled for and would not solve anything, would only aggravate this problem. As an advocate of peace, I think the emphasis going forward is to ensure that late Ogo's legacy and dream for her children is met.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The person writing on behalf of the husband is an animal sha. Makes the husband look like a dog. The part that had me shaking my head was were he suggested that she hid her sickness from the man until after they were married. Someone has died and yet you still have the heart to accuse her of something you even admit that you are not sure of. Anu ohia. I wish he had come up with something more mind blowing not speculations on the very thing that killed the woman. Almost as if she brought the sickness on herself

PStylish: @All
Walking away is NOT ok.
But if you have no other choice than that, then be ready to remain single (no sex) till your spouse (ex) dies. That is what the Bible says.
Or are we not Christians again?
Didn't you marry in the church?
How can you marry in a church and decide to violate the Christian manual for marriage?
Didn't you attend marriage counselling prior to your wedding?
Is your husband not supposed to be born again? Didn't you allow prevent your Pastor from drilling your would be husband to ascertain his level of seriousness and love for you?
Didn't you shun your parents' and family members' wise counsel as regards your would be hubby? Didn't you snub your family by going ahead with a 'registry' marriage attended by 4 friends when it became glaring that you family wouldn't support you marrying that man?
Didn't you rise to his defence whenever his character flaws were discussed?
Don't you really love him from your heart?
Were you not blinded by love?
Didn't you give him your pride/body before your wedding day against Christians norms?
Didn't you get pregnant before your marriage?
This is why many women will hang on.

2 words come to mind here:

1. Sadist - one who takes pleasure inflicting pain on people. Usually male. A sadist is not a sad person.

2. Masochist - one who takes pleasure in being punished (manhandled) for wrongdoing. Usually female.
Now imagine what will happen if a sadist (man) marries a masochist (woman)

And to all you women feeling like you can do away with your hubbies like trash at any time, t, I say its because you donot really love them.
I have come to realise that a woman''s love for a man comes naturally. You don't have to do anything to earn it.It's either she loves you or she doesn't.Chikena.
A woman will rather die than leave a man she really loves naturally. Its that bad.

Mr abi Ms Christain clap for yaself, Great one, this is the kind of advice Nigerian "battered women love and need, especially the last part, oya oh women if you dont love your spouse enough to die rather than walk away then you are not truly in love.

Good adviser. You too much

ifyalways: Was that lastpage or the "wife" ?

I don't agree with some parts of your posts though you raised fine points in regards the way and manner of death.
I still believe all was NOT well in the marriage prior the last surgery and there were much strain and negative vibes in both in-laws camps.

Why was the husband not at the hospital to stop that last surgery?IMO,that was what any truly loving husband would do.
why is he not talking about the domestic violence accusations?is he really guilty?
why did the sister sign the idemnity form?

Ifyalways, its Mrs. Lastpage, as he calls it!
I agree with you totally. That marriage was going through (and seems to have been) hard times. Illness can put a huge strain on a marriage!
Each spouse has different expectation of the other and gets something different through no fault of either!

Why was the husband not at the hospital, you asked? From what was written by the sister, they were both in the East on Friday, (assuming that his position was "No Surgery" as instructed by Doctors), she wants to have Surgery, do you think the husband would agree to it? NO.

She has arraigned the surgery to be done in Lagos, she traveled down over the weekend, with hubby still in the East.
With her Sister's help, they book-in for the surgery.
Her Sister was the one that signed the papers! Do you think this does not show that it was done without the husbands knowledge and consent? Does this not explain WHY he was not at her side?

Should a "Sister" sign such life/death document for a married woman, without the husband's consent?
Now that the thing has boomeranged, the same sister turns around to write this pathetic story to smear the husband!
If na Oyinbo, she would be answering charges at the courts, from the husbands' lawyer and on behalf of the children, believe me.

He has been with her on other surgeries, according to the writer (deductively).

Does this answer your question?

Lastpage!

lastpage:
Just like people who have destroyed their own marriage are NOT IN A POSITION to offer advice on what a blissful marriage feels like, right?
Just using your logic o!
I am happy that the evil "association members" are "kind enough" to cull some of the "statements" of people who really know this two (I dont know them and never heard of them) from LI's blog. From the account of people who had stayed under the same roof with them, people who have worked with the husband (including that one who says "everybody in the office dislikes Ken), one can still read a "good report" about he husband!

Only just strange that the "old husband-less brigade" are only interested in condemning ALL MEN!
It is wrong to say all women are beasts just like it is wrong to say Men are Monsters, just because you cant handle yours naah!

Why are these bitches ex-wives focusing on the negative innuendos written by the sister who signed her sister's "death-warrant" (knowing that she was not supposed to undergo surgery, especially in a Naija hospital! LKWMD) while ignoring the "positive comments" by those who really knew them and have no "hidden interest" in this matter? Does that not portray them as vengeful women who have made it their lot in life to be man-haters?

Truth is bitter. As you lay your bed, so you will lie on it. Dont blame someone else for your failure, blame yourself!
*Why are they not mentioning that Ogo has a serious medical condition that caused her death, coupled with bad medical advice?
*Why are they not interested in the fact that the husband tried everything humanly he could do, to get his wife's ailment treated?
*Why are they not interested in the fact that the man loved his daughter? (Like all men, they are usually close to their daughters that Mothers could get jealous at times, l have one and l know this,; but the wicked sister writing this E-mail painted a wicked picture that they would rather believe!)
*Why is it that it is usually women who have destroyed and lost their own marriage that are always overly critical of our husbands? Why do they want to encourage others to join them?
*Since we are not a witness to what happened, we can only rely on "stories" we read but is it not a good evidence of an "evil heart" if anyone chose to accept a story that vilifies the husband while pretending and condemning those that show the husband in good light? Why cant people be "fair to all concerned" in a public issue like this? Do we not know the effect on the children as well?

Now, tell me, in specific sentences, THE CRIMES OF THIS HUSBAND THAT RESULTED DIRECTLY IN THE DEATH OF HIS WIFE.
Thank God you agreed he did not strangle her, at least we can start from there. He is no saint (I suspect he is one of those men that carry babes; too much money, sick wife, big-boy lifestyle, e.t.c) but IS HE A MURDERER as portrayed by his wife's sister?

Lastpage.

BTW: My husband does not humble himself before me, he does not need to as l treat him like a king that he really is, but he treats me with love and kindness and treasures his marriage, as much as l do. We do have differences as l pointed out earlier but will l rush and throw my marriage into the bin like those ones up there, at the slightest sign of "serious differences between us", God forbid.
I will let him finish his "shakara and gra-gra" first, "without adding fire to the frying pan", then l will call him to the table and tell him my mind, "frankly but without disrespecting or hurting his manly ego".
By the time l finish with him, even he will agree that it is 'woman that bore man' and he would have no other option than to see his error; done properly, he would have no choice than to apologize with a promise of proper behavior!
That is marriage for you: its like a sea trip; sometimes quiet, sometimes swift, some times blissful, sometimes stormy!

We must understand that it is fruitless for a wife to engage in a "war of muscles" with your husband, use what is called "bedroom diplomacy" and all women must (should have) learnt it! But then, like beget likes, daughter of 'single mother', who go teach am, wetin she go teach her daughter if not what she has practiced?

If you're going to be all sanctimonious about it, then don't misquote people. I've read the whole thread and nobody said 'all men are monsters'. In fact, I believe one of the ladies commenting said she left an abuser and is now remarried to a better man.

lastpage - I haven't read all your posts but some of the things you are saying is what makes a lot of women stay in marriages that are toxic

"you didn't know how to handle him"
"husband-less"
"destroyed your own marriage"

u see these are the same things my MIL drove down my throat - her son beat me when I was pregnant and so that me and unborn child could live I left - my dear I have a beautiful child today who is happy and does not see a man beating her mother and coming home whenever he wants - now had I had a dear friend like you preaching in my ear about destroying my marriage I would have probably miscarried and then blamed for having no womb - oh yes my sister he told me after a beating and I was bleeding that he will make sure I miscarry so that he can tell his family I have no womb and bring in a second wife with a good womb.

Lastpage I don't know ur agenda but I don't hate men - in fact I don't even hate my ex, I shining examples of good men around me and i'm intelligent to know that my ex is the one who is bitter with a problem and not me.

@Tobius:

And where did l say YOU said so?
Or are you just having a pang of conscience?

PStylish: @All
Walking away is NOT ok.
But if you have no other choice than that, then be ready to remain single (no sex) till your spouse (ex) dies. That is what the Bible says.
Or are we not Christians again?
Didn't you marry in the church?
How can you marry in a church and decide to violate the Christian manual for marriage?
Didn't you attend marriage counselling prior to your wedding?
Is your husband not supposed to be born again? Didn't you allow prevent your Pastor from drilling your would be husband to ascertain his level of seriousness and love for you?
Didn't you shun your parents' and family members' wise counsel as regards your would be hubby? Didn't you snub your family by going ahead with a 'registry' marriage attended by 4 friends when it became glaring that you family wouldn't support you marrying that man?
Didn't you rise to his defence whenever his character flaws were discussed?
Don't you really love him from your heart?
Were you not blinded by love?
Didn't you give him your pride/body before your wedding day against Christians norms?
Didn't you get pregnant before your marriage?
This is why many women will hang on.

2 words come to mind here:

1. Sadist - one who takes pleasure inflicting pain on people. Usually male. A sadist is not a sad person.

2. Masochist - one who takes pleasure in being punished (manhandled) for wrongdoing. Usually female.
Now imagine what will happen if a sadist (man) marries a masochist (woman)

And to all you women feeling like you can do away with your hubbies like trash at any time, t, I say its because you donot really love them.
I have come to realise that a woman''s love for a man comes naturally. You don't have to do anything to earn it.It's either she loves you or she doesn't.Chikena.
A woman will rather die than leave a man she really loves naturally. Its that bad.

None of those things you so kindly listed is an excuse for abuse.
As for dying instead of leaving, read a newspaper sometime- that's what happens. I suppose that's what you're advocating. God save women.

Cotton abeg dont spend your energy on lastpage, h/ she will find a way to justify any sort of cruelity, on one thread he justified the enslavement of 2 ladies who were brought to America by their mistress after the court found the woman guilty. Dont bother jare. You know what you endured you know how you prayed fasted, you know the changes you made before finally walking out. So abeg you dont have to justify yourself to some people.
Those who want to listen to them lastpage and continue make them stay, na dem sabi