logicboy:

1)Do you know if your partner had fooled around before marriage?
2)Did your vow include no "masatbation"?
3)Were you not sexually attracted to your partner in the first place?

Question 1

I am not God so I dont know . I can only take him by his words.

Question 2

Yes my Celibacy included that. No such took place.

Question 3

I was attracted to my partner. When I see am my heart dey go "kpokpodi kpokpodi pko"

I was attracted but not to the extent of sleeping with each other

I set boundaries in d bginin but i have almost broken all those rules. the only one i avnt done is have intimate Bleep and my conscience is alreadi killing me. now i just want to end the whole relationship thingy and b on my own cos i just can't sim to get Bleep outta ma head.

Well its not really easy to have a God=centred romantic relationship it only takes the grace of God cos feelings and emotions are involved when one is in a relationship and believe me if you are not sexually attracted to the person you want to marry then its a problem.

I would say set up rules that both of you agree on and when you come together what do you talk about mostly make sure you dwell on things that wont arouse your feelings to have sex above all you guys can pray together

tiarabubu:


Question 1

I am not God so I dont know . I can only take him by his words.

Question 2

Yes my Celibacy included that. No such took place.

Question 3

I was attracted to my partner. When I see am my heart dey go "kpokpodi kpokpodi pko"

I was attracted but not to the extent of sleeping with each other

You and your parter never had Bleep before you got married and never "mastabated". Furthermore, you and your partener never TOUCHED each other intimately for 3 years (only hugs). Thanks for showing that christians can lie just to look holy.

You have raised some questions DAVIDYLAN;
ROMANTC RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE FOLLOWING INGREDIENTS;
-God centered
-True christian
My own opinion is that both parties need to be God fearing, this means not the fear of Pastor, the neighbour or any body that will see them but rather the fear of God in all their conduct.
It also means they have to have a christ-like attitude, selflessness is the key.Not just individuals desire but the partners best interest should be paramount.
With this in mind, we would not cheat on each other, lie to each other.
SEX
Yes the most pressing topic; IT IS SWEET. VERY SWEET; but only when eaten in marriage by the couple because, you would'nt have remorse, fear, condemnation, guilty conscience etc.You can do it in the room, sitting room, bathroom, dinning, kitchen, without fear as long as you are married and God will be happy with you.
But what do we do before marriage; TALK, TALK AND TALK.Not only spiritual...Yes spiritual, but talk exciting things, what you like about each other etc, talk about sex too...but only when you are in the open and not be overcharged.PLAY...YES PLAY....but not sex plays as they may lead to the place of no return, play games, sports, computer games, watch movies, volunteer together, enjoy each others company.
LEAVE SEX AS THE ICING ON THE CAKE ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT
I have spoken from experience.
Remember; MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE AND THE BED UNDEFILED..HEB13V4.

I am shocked to notice no one has shared any experiences so I will share mine. I dated my girlfriend for 2 years before getting married six years ago. One advice I will give christains dating is that do not date for too long before getting married else temptation will set in. We dated for two years and in fact if we dated much longer we may have succumbed to tempptation.

We met in college even though we were just friends and we started dating in 2003 after having good fun at a friend's party. We had both been born-again for about 8 years before then and we had laid down strict rules that we will wait till we get married. She was just 23 when we started dating and still a V. I was a lil experienced (lol).

To cut the long story short, we spent a lot of time going out with friends, parties, travelling abroad together (we did not stay together though). We will each stay with our own friend/family and go out together till very late but generally avoided spending the night together.
I tried to be as romantic as an African man could, sending her poems during the day, sending flowers to her office and buying lots of gifts: cloths, phones, jewelry.. I was a manager in a big four consulting firm in 9ja so I had some money. We did a lot of movies too and eat out at all the nice restaurants all-over Lagos and went for several concerts together.

Did we ever want to have sex? Yes we did and that is why I advice courtship should not be too long. We kissed several times hugged and smooched and the longer we dated the more we explored. I am just being truthful. We would pray together and commit our relationship and future marriage to God and we were very open to each other.

My point is you can be a Christain and have a God-lead romantic and enjoyable courtship where you do not have sex. We had soo much fun together doing lots of stuff. Be focused, prayerful and tell God exactly what you want. The Bible says you need to put your body under submission. You need to be dead to sin and the flesh. If you can do that b4 marriage it will be much easier after marriage because at least you are now getting it!

Hope this helps somebody

God is Love. Saying that God-centered relationships can't be romantic is a lie of the devil and u beta snap urslf out of it if you think so. We young ppl of now av a little challenge in differentiating between Love, Lust and Romance. We've got it all mixed up together. That's what will make a girl want to succum to pre-marital sex coz she fills that's d way to prove to the guy that she really loves him. Errand nonsense. Do u call that Love? Is it being romantic? I beggy!!!! No body, no body i say can truly truly Love except the Love of the father is in him/her. Take it or leave it. Mtchewwwwww!!!

obamamate: God is not a liar,
You can be romantic without sex.Infact romance without sex is more matured
It is really not easy to be chaste in a courtship, but it is possible.
You have to make rules.
Mine was never to stay indoors with my fiance alone with doors closed.
We always arranged our meetings outside, parks, eateries etc.
RememberMary/Joseph werec courting before Jesus was borne

Nyc one!

5 years now into the relationship and counting, not easy but worth it.

tips:

See the wider picture of what kind of ending you want for your relationship

Never stay alone for too long without engaging yourselves in something (tangible) that takes away idle time.

Always have a SOLID reason why sex is not needed for now

Have something else you do that can temporarily "replace" sex in the relationship.

Mine is not devoid of hugging, kissing and sometimes cuddling, but the main thing has never occurred because we both believe in the same reasons we shouldn't start now.

Trust is ALSO VERY IMPORTANT, to achieve this, you need to trust yourselves.

Bible references too, why it's wrong to start now should be what both of you can relate to in the bible.

Knowing that PREGNANCY (unwanted) is likely going to result from any mistakes both of you make.

Your future should be RATED higher than the sex, if you believe you have a valuable future together, then sex won't really be an issue.

Role model or those you look up to who did it before should also come into the scene.

Lastly, having the fear of God, believing both of you aren't alone all the time and that God is always around watching you both lol. (weird lol).

Determine to please God.

We kissed several times hugged and smooched and the longer we dated the more we explored.

Hope you are not inferring that this is right or necesary for romance in a r/ship? Would Joseph had done this to Mary before Jesus was born? I don't also think you'd feel happy about such explorations if the r/ship eventually didn't work out, especially for ladies.
Godly r/ship can be very romantic. Visit places of mutual interest and share your hearts with each other. Exchange gifts and attend godly/social gatherings together.

What happens to someone that have been in a relationship for more than 10 years without this controversial sex and even at this time the man doesn't still have enough money to execute their marriage and everyday, either the man or the woman go "hot and cold" (where their feelings here is extremely due to nature and not because they even have any thought about it) and the urge to do keeps growing. How can you convince these people to stay off this forbidden fruit again? Again, is God mad at you if you take this fruit before marriage? When does an actual marriage takes place between two people in a relationship? Is sexx/fornication the highest sin? Are we under the law of "to do or not to do" holistically?

Wow....very funny...
Even xtians don't have experiences of god-fearing r/ships..
Shame...
All of us dey knack-akpako..


ƪ =D ʃ. ƪ :* ʃ. ƪ =D ʃ. 0ya
. . . . knack D
. ≤¯≥. ≤¯≥. ≤¯≥. akpak0

oscartawn1: Determine to please God.

Hope you are not inferring that this is right or necesary for romance in a r/ship? Would Joseph had done this to Mary before Jesus was born? I don't also think you'd feel happy about such explorations if the r/ship eventually didn't work out, especially for ladies.
Godly r/ship can be very romantic. Visit places of mutual interest and share your hearts with each other. Exchange gifts and attend godly/social gatherings together.

[quote][/quote]

Bros, I did not say anything was right or wrong, I only shared my experience. I also clearly gave an advice that the longer you date the more temptation sets in. Me and my girlfriend set out to achieve a goal which was to have a Godly courtship as we are both Christains. Did we achieve that? I can only say I am thankful to God how it ended as we are happiliy married God fearing Christains with two lovely daughters.

Yeah! A God centerd relationship has existed b4 now and still exist.

Davidylan, MAY GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD. I once asked a church to do this but they said, Noooo, we don't have evil thoughts in our mind so there is no need for special focus on christian relationships.

Thank you.

beautybaby4me: Yeah! A God centerd relationship has existed b4 now and still exist.

Have u been into any?

logicboy:



You and your parter never had Bleep before you got married and never "mastabated". Furthermore, you and your partener never TOUCHED each other intimately for 3 years (only hugs). Thanks for showing that christians can lie just to look holy.

Don't judge me by YOUR rock bottom standards. Just cos you can't get Bleep off your mind don't mean others also can't. What's so impossible about setting a standard and sticking to it? It takes will power. The human mind is capable of doing great things once it focuses.

I aint you man

U can have a romantic relationship without sex.
I just got married (2wks ago) after an eight month relationship. I got married a Virgin (male) at 30. U dont have 2 believe it but my wife does.
Romance isnt abt sex but d excitement of d mind which can b achieve via surprises (gifts, calls, txt, outings), long distance communicatn (when u are away), achieving goals 2gether n so on
Bottom line: if u cant stay in a relationship without sex, u will think everybody does same.

tiarabubu:

Don't judge me by YOUR rock bottom standards. Just cos you can't get Bleep off your mind don't mean others also can't. What's so impossible about setting a standard and sticking to it? It takes will power. The human mind is capable of doing great things once it focuses.

I aint you man

lol....I knew that you would say that. We are all adults here. How many times have we caught born again students watching porn or pastors have hot sex with church members? You can lie about your personal life but;

l

[size=38pt]any romantic unmarried relationship cannot be godly.[/size]

chimuchi: [size=38pt]any romantic unmarried relationship cannot be godly.[/size]

Then how do godly people get married? Olodo

@ HOneric01: If u have been kissing, hugging, cuddling, u are already half way into having intimacy and that means u are half-way away from the will of God ( The marriage bed undefiled). As noted by that poster that said he was working with one of the big 4, you will keep exploring deeper until the main thing happens. Apparently, ur reason for not having sex is not to please God but according to you, one just needs to find a strong reason.

@OP: The only way a relationship can be Godcentered and without sexual impurity is if both parties involved are genuinely born-again. If you two are just 'cool christians' you may end up doing it at some point because the flesh will fail u. If both of you are truly born-again, it is very possible, with the help of the holy spirit. If u make rules u may end up breaking or ammending them, but if you stick to the word of God and like in other areas of your lives, you allow it to direct your relationship, the waiting will be over before you know it.

Generally speaking, courtship should not last too long, people should not be involved in serious relationship with the opposite sex unless marriage (in the nearest future) is in the picture.

@logicboy abstinence b4 marriage is possible. [/color][color=#000000]

logicboy:

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

logicboy:

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

logicboy:

I am so scared, Jesoul wants to ban me!!!

On a serious note, a Godly relationship in the bible prohibits sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost impossible or at least very hard to achieve. Also, we are animals and we always have to be sexually attracted to a person of the opposite sex before marriage. No one dates/marries someone that they dont want to have sex with later.

A godly or religous relationship is impossible unless you're a eunuch

beautybaby4me: @logicboy abstinence b4 marriage is possible. [/color][color=#000000][sup][/sup]

But it's rare and doesnt reduce divorce rates

bookface:

Why does the Christian definition of marriage has to be an elaborate occasion where some priest declares you man and wife? I am yet to read in the Bible where the Lord says this must be the case?



If by the understanding of this passage, i leave my parent's house and begin leaving with my girlfriend, why must this be wrong? why must it take a priest and a church to declare you man and wife?

y must u leave wt ur girlfriend wtout fulfillin her traditional rite 4 marriage.

baldman: @ HOneric01: If u have been kissing, hugging, cuddling, u are already half way into having intimacy and that means u are half-way away from the will of God ( The marriage bed undefiled). As noted by that poster that said he was working with one of the big 4, you will keep exploring deeper until the main thing happens. Apparently, ur reason for not having sex is not to please God but according to you, one just needs to find a strong reason.

Yes i have kissed her but pls don't define "bed undefiled" for me, i know what that is and i thank God his grace is sufficient to keep me away from that.

Here's not for scruitizing other people's experiences, share yours if you have any. TELL US ABOUT YOUR OWN. and WHAT MAKES YOU THINK "TO PLEASE GOD IS NOT AMONG THE REASONS"? did you suddenly close your eyes at the "fear of God" part?

Just like i said, share yours and move on rather than coming here to police other people's experiences. (To be candid, do you even have any fact to prove that Joseph never kissed Mary?)

God centered relationship means one that your guiding principle is the fear of God and you do not defile your bodY n u allow your bonding to come from the spirit before the soul n when you start seeing that the body is wanting to take control its time to move ur relationship to d next level

Mine was fun,I had luvd A LADY,but things went hay wire,as a born again child of God with a burning desire for purity,however we play along;but neva cross our boundary.Readilly informed her dat dis relstionship should be void of sex;as sex is not love,if it is then there is no one dat could love BETTER than d prostitute,She gladly consent to my request;basking in the euphoria dat she has never had it dis way.3years down the line;I was steadfastly focus and hold firm to the agreed rule,suddenly,I noticed dat my sweet girl frend started DRIFTING thereby behaving funny,most often I call and she frowned at my calls and she neither reply my advances,Got so disturb dat I had to call her friend who confineded in her and she eventually open up with a shocking revelation dat her friend never knew;Dat frankly she could nt cope with a relationship without sex.On my part;I was so demoralize dat why could nt she disclose 2me instead of her friend,Got so bittrerd dat I had to put off the relationship,In a process of time,we csme back EVEN though intimate without commitment.In a nut shell a godly relationship base on the tenets of scripture is a two way thing dat the other person must size up or willing to grow to your level of spiritusl maturity and understanding or else it amount to a mere deception,hence the other may be playing games and getting thrust from others,However when u are truly FAITHFUL God will give you ur Match.

Ishilove:
Aha,I do not agree with this paragraph,Mr Buzugee!!
Don't ye know that touchy feely will provoke the raging beast in a human's loins? For me the touchy feely should not go beyond the occasional LIGHT kiss (emphasis),hugs and hand holding. Avoid touching the more sensitive areas of the anatomy, like the mammary organs and butt. If you know that by nature you are easily sexually provoked,avoid been alone with ur partner 'cos it is when you are alone together that the devil will come and start ministering to you (I learnt about this the hard way). That is when you will notice how muscular your man's abs are,or the size and shape of ur woman's behind.
And most importantly,PRAY. We can lay down all manner of rules, but it is only divine grace that can enable those rules work for us.

mammary organs

ermm yeah i meant to say marriage not relationship. remember i had previously said it is stupid and counter-productive to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex unless you are ready to marry them, if you are a 'christian'. but once you are married you can be as freaky as you want to be, if you so wish. thats your spouse. you are allowed to do the nasty. so long as you dont devolve into thr-eesomes and bestiality and all that other stuff that heathens do.

Informative thread!

@Imanuelle
yes.I once dated a guy for more than 4 years,we kissed and romanced but never had the real act called sex.wn d rltnshp ended I was hapy I still had my pride.my nxt relatnshp didnt last up to a year b4 I got married and my husband disflowerd me.

Have u been into any?[/quote]