NRC is going to be in ATL and Dejavu is going to be in DC.you can find out more information on their site below

http://dejavunet.com/2006/. its so much fun like i said earlier and there is so much to do also,

chinani have you been to any naija brother event in houston?

@ wenasah

Yes I have. I've also met 2 of the Naija Brothers, incl the cute one and danced the night away to their DJs at other non-Naija B's parties until literally 5am when ppl were asked politely to leave. Good times. Have you?

@chinani
yeah, i went for the thanksgiving bash, it was not all that to me cos grind entertainment had party that nite also, there

was so much drama and me going for their event for the first time i did not get a good impression,

Well I think its kind of natural for u to get married to a naija girl.Cos if u don't ,they(the whites) will impose there culture in u ,and definitely u will forget where u came from.So its better u get a beautiful naija girl there b4 its too late.

@ wenasah

I know what you mean. I enjoy the parties w/ Naija Bro. (contracted) DJs (& the Bros themselves) more than I enjoy their parties. I don't go to the holiday ones either. Sorry you had a bad time!

Uhm, hard topic for me . I am white , my boyfriend is from Nigeria, he study here , and i REALY hope to marry him one day . I dont know, why should i belive that is better for him to marry with a nigerian girl ? I know i love him , i would do the best for us ,and i can respect other cultures and i wanna learn about that (one of the reason i am here !) .So why am I worst than a nigerian girl ? True, its easyer to marry a person from the same country/area/culture/religion as u are, but easyer does not means BETTER ! I also never thought i can fall in love with a black guy , never had this ideea, but how i can put myself against love ? And what reason to do that ? With family problems it can be the same, maybe his family will not like that he is with a white girl (but they dont have nothing against) and my family for sure they will not like him at the begining. But again, why should i care ? With this ocasion i would like to ask u friends how the white people are treated in Nigeria ? I mean, if i will ever move there i will have problems just because im white and not black ? And pls be honest , i can afford negative answers Tks, and God help us ! (im sorry again for my bad english )

Awww. We treat white people very well in Nigeria. Unfortunately, some parents will kick against the idea of a white daughter-in-law, and some men will dump any girl their parents don't approve of.

Don't worry, your boyfriend would probably prefer to settle in Europe anyway and visit home at most every Christmas.

Tks for yr answer Seun Well I dont know where he will settle , maybe if he have better oportunitys in Nigeria he will prefer to return, i dont know , but thing is that I would go for him till the end of world and back . And i am asking about how u treat there white ppl because here in Romania I can feel the rasism ,unfortunatly , and i dont wanna my baby oga have problems with that , so maybe i would like better to live in other country . As for me, i cannot imagine myself being with a white man anymore LOL
I ve met only few nigerians ,they are not so many here, but they are all cool persons and what i like the most is that they have a very nice way to respect their parents . And i do apreciate that very much , i dont know but for me they are much better educate and with some fear of God that mostly europeans ppl . Maybe im wrong , but anyway i hope one day i will go in Lagos at least for visiting that town and meet more nice nigerians .
Well, i still wait negative opinions here ! I guess im a little pesimistic

Hey Dessi. You're right when you say that "easier does NOT mean BETTER". Everyone has problems and if you love someone committ to them, and communicate than superficial differences like skin color don't matter. Of course, culture might matter so be sure to communicate and ask questions. The original poster for this thread is divorced from a white woman and lots of times parents think that if the son marries a white woman then there will be divorce, ignorant children who aren't disciplined or respectful. This is the fear. The extended family (cousins, uncles etc.) might feel like the wife is "distracting" the husband and turning him "away" from them. But lots of families think this of Nigerian/same ethnicity wives too.

I don't think you'll be treated badly in Nigeria. It might be lonely at first b/c ppl might view you as a "oyinbo" (white person or foriegnor) and you prolly can't speak pidgin English which is the lengua franca in casual settings. But you'll adjust and you sound like you have a good attitude so that will help. You might want to settle in the UK though. It's English speaking, familiar to youas a European and has a large Nigerian community. The UK might be the best of both worlds.

I laughed when I read "i cannot imagine myself being with a white man anymore". The same thing happened to me when I dated a black American man. I couldn't see myself w/any of sort of man but that'll come to pass.

Good luck to you & your bf. ***If you start your own thread you'll get more (better) responses to your questions.***

Well , my cute black boy just dumped me and the reason was "no reason, just like that" And I still dont imagine how i will be with a white man anymore , or with anybody else , so , anyway,I still hope to visit one day Lagos cos i read so much about it and i think its something "must see" . This is life , after i have done so much , now i got nothing . Then , no need to open a new topic for me , cos i dont have anymore what to ask/write ,but i will read u in the future cos u are nice guys

Dessi, Thats sad

You sound like a nice "Nigerian" girl. Yes you have become Nigerian even it was by your love for Nigeria. fact, you can claim to be more Nigerian than many of us who do not love that country.

Trust me, you will find love again. you will come to believe  that what he did you was a favour. Take heart and try to put it behind you.

Hello friends ! I dont know if u have there 1 April , here we must make jokes in that day, to foolish people , so my boyfriend and his roommate (another nigerian) told us yesterday that the relationship its over , and i cryed 26 hours, no sleep and stuff , and today he called me laughing to tell me that it was ONLY A JOKE for 1 April , what kind of joke it that i dont know , but well, im back hoping to visit Lagos with him , now But i will try to take it easy , cos if he will dump me for real i will be , finished. Ok,thats all for now

OH MY GOD! IT WAS JOKE!!!! Yes, here (in the US & Nigeria) we do have April Fool's Day but that is not a laughing matter! Argh! Well, I'm happy for you. Let your boyfriend know that the joke was a very bad one! Keep on keeping on. Peace.

Your boyfriend is THE joke.

Happy for you anyway.

Yeeeh it was the worst joke , anyway yesterday i made to EACH friend of mine a very bad joke and they all was very angry on me , but finaly we was outside in town together , and my baby oga tryed to make me happy , cos im still MAD on him
Did u recieved some bad joke yesterday ?

I think the issue of marriage is too important to base it solely on where you're from. I am naija and I enjoy my experiences with men from other races and culture. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. When I decide to get married, it will have to be my decision and my parents will have to respect it because i'm the one who has to live with the person I marry. The important thing is finding a good person.

they likes them

they thinks they drop the doe more than the nigrian men

This is an interesting topic!
I'm an Igbo lady, due to get married to a Yoruba man. The only problem as some of you may have guessed,  is my father is not allowing this to happen,  I'm so upset by his attitude, but at the same time I can understand his traditions. The strange thing, he knows I'm still going out with my finace of over five years in which my father has met on some occasions. But he doesn't want us to get married, which doesn't make sense  My self and my finance were both brought up here - and were never brought up with the traditional values. My father has managed to get the most of the family on his side. My brothers and sister support me. My fiance is really upset, and can not understand what he has done. I have stopped him coming to our house, because I don't want anything to get out of hand. I'm refussing to speak to my father as he will not even attempt to see me happy. Basically, he wants me to marry any Igbo guy just to please him. 

Why Must Nigerians Abroad Marry Nigerians

Dis is not a WHY its their CHOICE!!!!!

I think the issue of marriage is too important to base it solely on where you're from. I am naija and I enjoy my experiences with men from other races and culture. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. When I decide to get married, it will have to be my decision and my parents will have to respect it because i'm the one who has to live with the person I marry. The important thing is finding a good person

All based on YOUR CHOICE!!! No one can force you into doing anything,,,,, dat i strongly believe[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

Poiseivy:

This is an interesting topic!
I'm an Igbo lady, due to get married to a Yoruba man. The only problem as some of you may have guessed,  is my father is not allowing this to happen,  I'm so upset by his attitude, but at the same time I can understand his traditions. The strange thing, he knows I'm still going out with my finace of over five years in which my father has met on some occasions. But he doesn't want us to get married, which doesn't make sense  My self and my finance were both brought up here - and were never brought up with the traditional values. My father has managed to get the most of the family on his side. My brothers and sister support me. My fiance is really upset, and can not understand what he has done. I have stopped him coming to our house, because I don't want anything to get out of hand. I'm refussing to speak to my father as he will not even attempt to see me happy. Basically, he wants me to marry any Igbo guy just to please him. 

I hope your dad eventually gives his blessings.
Try hard,use your uncles and aunts who are on your side to convince him with gentle pleadings, if you have to.
Make him to see that you're marrying a loving man who just happens to be Yoruba.
If he does not give his blessings,please don't marry this man.
I believe parents are given some sixth sense by God.

My best friend,an Igbo girl was engaged to a Yoruba man,her father said over his dead body will his first daughter marry a Yoruba man,he died a few years later and they went ahead and got married (_{sadly,over his dead body})
He eventually left her for his secretary and accused her of witchcraft.
She regrets disobeying her fathers words.
This is just one story but having said that,I know several marriages of Igbo women and Yoruba men that are exemplary.

@topic
last time i checked, you can marry anyone you want.
but differences is what kills a marriage. little petty differences. its always easier when you roll with someone who understands ur culture and sees things the way you do. if you decide to marry a 'foreigner' you should be ready to compromise cos you know their ways are not our ways.

@spoilt

excellent analysis !! You are so right.

babyosisi:

If he does not give his blessings,please don't marry this man.
I believe parents are given some sixth sense by God.

Are parents omniscient? I don't think so! I have seen several marriages where the parents refused to agree with the choice of their children's spouse, but after the wedding they came to understand the person better & actually ended up getting along with him/her.

Sometimes, ignorance can be a contributing factor to their dissent.

babyosisi:

My best friend,an Igbo girl was engaged to a Yoruba man,her father said over his dead body will his first daughter marry a Yoruba man,he died a few years later and they went ahead and got married (_{sadly,over his dead body})
He eventually left her for his secretary and accused her of witchcraft.
She regrets disobeying her fathers words.
This is just one story but having said that,I know several marriages of Igbo women and Yoruba men that are exemplary.

Would things have turned out differently if the man had been Igbo? Like I always say, I have seen people from the same town or village get married & their marriages crashed less than three years afterwards & vice versa. I have also seen Naija folks marry from a totally different country, and those marriages stood the test of time & vice versa. Every marriage has its' own issues. It is how you resolve them, that matters. Simple!

I beg I don tire for all this talk. It is the content of a person's character that matters, not the colour of his skin, the ethnicity of his background, or the otdated criteria of his people.

laudate:

Are parents omniscient? I don't think so! I have seen several marriages where the parents refused to agree with the choice of their children's spouse, but after the wedding they came to understand the person better & actually ended up getting along with him/her.

Sometimes, ignorance can be a contributing factor to their dissent.

Would things have turned out differently if the man had been Igbo? Like I always say, I have seen people from the same town or village get married & their marriages crashed less than three years afterwards & vice versa. I have also seen Naija folks marry from a totally different country, and those marriages stood the test of time & vice versa. Every marriage has its' own issues. It is how you resolve them, that matters. Simple!

I beg I don tire for all this talk. It is the content of a person's character that matters, not the colour of his skin, the ethnicity of his background, or the otdated criteria of his people.

@ audience,we have digressed here a little on someones story of her parents refusing her to marry someone of a different tribe.
Laudate parents are not Omniscience but if your parents refuse you to marry someone and you insist and go ahead,I pray things work out well.It is different,however for a man.

The worst thing that can happen to a woman is marry a man your parents said a capital NO to and you have marital problems along the line and have no one to turn to,even the man would take advantage of that and throw it in her face.
now back to the topic.

Hello I am new to this site although I have browsed through here a few times to read some of your discussions.

I'll admit that I have always been interested in Nigerian culture. I enjoy watching Nigerian movies, music videos, and concerts because your people reminds me so much of my own. The body language, the dancing, the socializing and the many of the values remind me alot of my own culture.

I have a major dilemma though. I am in a relationship and very much in love with a man who was born and raised in United States by Nigerian parents. I was born and raised in the United States by West Indian parents. My big problem is that his parents hate me because I'm not Nigerian and this really hurts me. When I say hello to his Mom she acts as though she never hears me. When I say hello to his father he at least tries to be mannerable but still makes it obvious that he is not really please with my presence. I am an educated, intelligent, hard working, beautiful woman and I feel that I deserve better treatment from them than that. My mother shows him respect when he greets her because she respects the fact that he is someone's son she expects the same treatment in return, for me because I am her daughter.

My mother told me that a few years ago, a Nigerian man called her a slave child. I find it hard to not believe that many Nigerians including my mate's parents may share this view. Am I mistaken when I say that my ancestors are your ancestors? Mothers, Fathers, Children, Aunts, Uncles, Sisters, Brothers, and Grandparents were all separated during the slave trade. Some were stolen and some got left behind. Interestingly enough, the same "Slave Children" fought for equality and freedom through the Rebellions that went on in the America's and the Carribean Islands. They gave their lives to free the black man from bondage makiing it possible for Nigerians and other Africans to go to the appropriate embassies, get their visas, come to the U.S, Britain, France, Holland etc,

Here in the United States I meet tons of African people working, opening businesses, attending colleges and universities, and sending money back home to their families. Seems like everyone wants to have their own American dream. The problem is, many Africans don't consider people like me to be sisters and brothers. Slave children like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Jesse Jackson, and Marcus Garvey risked their lives so that the whole black race would no longer be looked at as inferior. They risked their lives so that the KKK and racist whites here in American would stop murdering black people simply because of the color of our skin.

The slave child is the reason why any African person has the priviledge and the liberty to migrate or even travel to the America's and Europe. I believe we all deserve a bit more respect. It's a shame that I am judged by my Love's parents simply because I am not Nigerian. I am very hurt, and angry. Can some please explain the logic behind this to me. ?I know more about Nigerian than he does. When I ask him a question about Nigeria he never knows. His parents did not even teach him Ibo. They did a very bad job of teaching him his culture and now they expect him to leave me for a Nigerian woman. Wow!

@Spoilt, once again girl, you rock!!!!
I wouldn't have said it better.

Well thank God that we are free to marry whomever we please. Island people have grown beyond this type of mediocre thinking.

Just curious though, I wonder what if my great-grandparents had prohibited my Carib grandfather from marrying my Irish grandmother. Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder. Then again, to each its own.

One thing I do know, I shall marry whomever I LOVE, be it Black, White, Yellow, Pink , Love knows no boundary. I'd rather be happily married to a man my parents disapproved, then to be dying of grief with one they favoured.

hmmmmmmmm Aiyesha,

You just have to understand that even in Nigeria, parents don't always agree if their son is going out with a lady from another tribe in their state or another state. Not to talk of from another country. But many time love conquers all. So if you really love your man, continue to be good to them. With time they will understand and leave you both alone. And if they don't show any understanding, it is left for you and your man to decide what you guys both want.

stay 

@Ayeisha I read your post and left with mixed emotions. First let me congratulate you on your posture regarding this dilemma, it really takes discipline on one's behalf to exhibit this level of maturity.

I have had very similar derrogatory remarks made to me by a memeber of this forum. You see, likewise I am a West Indian. It still baffles me as to how can an African resort to using the word "slave" in such a hated manner.

I am assuming from what you wrote that your relationship isn't affected by your significant other parents ignorance. Also you are from the islands ( not sure which one) and from what I have experienced, we are not very must into in-laws. As long as both parties involved are happy, then the parents opinions aren't really important.

From my obervation over the years, I can proudly say that West Indian parents, even if they are not in favour of whom their children wed, always show a level of repsect for that person, especially where marriage and children are concerned.

Well dearie, best wishes to you, and I hope your in-laws do come round. And if they don't, why the bother? Am sure after you guys wed, you will both be living in YOUR OWN home, drive YOUR CAR, pay YOUR BILLS etc.

All the best,

neelsel:

@Ayeisha I read your post and left with mixed emotions. First let me congratulate you on your posture regarding this dilemma, it really takes discipline on one's behalf to exhibit this level of maturity.

I have had very similar derrogatory remarks made to me by a memeber of this forum. You see, likewise I am a West Indian. It still baffles me as to how can an African resort to using the word "slave" in such a hated manner.

I am assuming from what you wrote that your relationship isn't affected by your significant other parents ignorance. Also you are from the islands ( not sure which one) and from what I have experienced, we are not very must into in-laws. As long as both parties involved are happy, then the parents opinions aren't really important.

From my obervation over the years, I can proudly say that West Indian parents, even if they are not in favour of whom their children wed, always show a level of repsect for that person, especially where marriage and children are concerned.

Well dearie, best wishes to you, and I hope your in-laws do come round. And if they don't, why the bother? Am sure after you guys wed, you will both be living in YOUR OWN home, drive YOUR CAR, pay YOUR BILLS etc.
All the best,

Your advice may work in the Islands but not amongst Nigerians.
We are into inlaws.
There is a bond between a Nigerian woman and her son that cannot be broken even by death,I have brothers so I know.

Aisha should work at having her man convince his parents that she is good for him,any attempt to say they don't matter will eventually backfire and he will resent her for distancing his parents from him.

The other thing his parents may not like about this girl would be if the relationship seems to have no serious future,by that I mean if they are just boyfriend and girlfriend,sleeping together with no plans of marriage,cohabiting,children out of wedlock,history of divorce on the girls side.There are many cultures that are still frowned at by our parents and I just mentioned a few.

Bottom line parents want the best for their children,sometimes of course they are overprotective,of course if we hear from this young mans parents,the story may be a little different.