TisaBone:

do you think being a Christian means I'm perfect? It means I'm trying to become a better person. and if you knew the 411 on my family, you would be thinking [i]them [/i]the bad people. I am working of forgiveness but it's a day to day struggle.needless to say, it doesn't matter what you think or don't think of me. kick rocks if you don't like what I have to say.



No, I don't enjoy heartache. That's why I'm reaching out to people for help on as what to do. it's a shame, but I don't trust the advice of my family.


and we are just in the friendship stage, because of course i have reasons to be wary. I have been praying on this, and I don't want to dismiss him as of yet because we all fall short of the glory of god. I want to get to know him a little more to see what he thinks of his past actions, and whether he is learning from his mistakes or not. not one of you on this forum is sinless or without fault! I know I'm not, and I'm woman enough to admit that.

if you are a christian, I am John the baptist!

Kevin_II:
if you are a christian, I am John the baptist!

and what exactly is that supposed to mean?

TisaBone: There is this man that I am extremely interested in. I respected him, because he was able to bring himself out of the gutter, and free himself from the bondage of crime and jail and has become a successful businessman. He has a lot of ambition and drive, which I love , as well as this magnetic power emanating from him. The attraction was definitely mutual.

I went by his shop, and we talked for maybe an hour about many things. He knows that I am a Christian. He wanted to know what my dreams were, my goals for the future, and where I saw myself once I graduated college. He wanted to know why I was not in a relationship, and I told him because I was not willing to settle for just any old man. I made him laugh, and he made me laugh. He told me he was 32 with four kids, and 3 baby mothers, which scared me. I mean I was ready to run for the hills. But as he began to talk of his children, I could see the love he had for all of them, and I began to soften up once more, but at the same time my guard was still up because I know that sometimes men will talk of their children, to make themselves appear more wholesome than what they really are.

He knows how old I am, but as we were talking he picked up on the fact that although I was young, I had lived a little. He asked me why I went to church. I told him because I had problems, and I was trying to work them out with and for God so that I could become a better person.

As most men tend to do, he got a little fresh and asked could I come over and cook him dinner, once I revealed to him that I was a guru in the kitchen. I told him absolutely not, and he wanted to know why. I said because I was not ready. He said that he could respect that, and that was the end of that particular conversation. Once it was time for me to leave, I stood up, and couldn't take my eyes from him. He asked was I ready for a hug, and I sort of melted and said that I was. He took me in his arms, and his hands roamed all over my lower back, and my hips, and I could feel his hands hovering over my behind, but he stopped short. I never knew that just a simple hug could arouse not only my body, but my mind as well.

Fast forward to a couple of days later. I am talking to my aunt and cousin, about this new man I have met. I asked for prayer from my aunt, because I need to stay strong and the lady always. She wanted to know what his name was, and once I said it, my cousin turns around and is flabbergasted. According to her, this man is quite the player around town, and is known to dog women out. He may even have a girlfriend, but my cousin said she didn't know for sure. She told me to stay away from him because he was too old, and the only reason older men talk to young girls ( I'm always a child when its convenient, at other times I'm a grown up when it suits her purposes) is so that they can feel like they are doing something. My aunt chimed in and said I should ask him to pay my light bill and take me out to an expensive restaurant. She said that would get rid of him quick. It's ironic that she would suggest this considering that her own husband is an invalid who hasn't worked not one day in their ten year marriage. My cousin is a thirty something, unemployed, and bitter woman, who awaits the release of her on/off again boyfriend from prison so that they can be wed. She ridiculed me because he is shorter than me, but I don't care! according to her I'm "settling." I mean for God's sake I'm 5'11! alot of men will be taller than me, but he told me he loved my height, and that if we were ever to go out, that he definitely needed me in a pair of heels.

In my opinion both are bitter, but I can't totally discard what is being told to me. I'm scared and confused. He not once disrespected me in anyway, and seems to be accepting of all that I have told him. Is this information that I have received from my cousin a sign that I should leave this man alone? Should I walk away and never look back?

. . . . . Once it was time for me to leave, I stood up, and couldn't take my eyes from him. He asked was I ready for a hug, and I sort of melted and said that I was. He took me in his arms, and his hands roamed all over my lower back, and my hips, and I could feel his hands hovering over my behind, but he stopped short. I never knew that just a simple hug could arouse not only my body, but my mind as well.( nw i hope u can all see?

TisaBone:

do you think being a Christian means I'm perfect? It means I'm trying to become a better person. and if you knew the 411 on my family, you would be thinking [i]them [/i]the bad people. I am working of forgiveness but it's a day to day struggle.needless to say, it doesn't matter what you think or don't think of me. kick rocks if you don't like what I have to say.



No, I don't enjoy heartache. That's why I'm reaching out to people for help on as what to do. it's a shame, but I don't trust the advice of my family.


and we are just in the friendship stage, because of course i have reasons to be wary. I have been praying on this, and I don't want to dismiss him as of yet because we all fall short of the glory of god. I want to get to know him a little more to see what he thinks of his past actions, and whether he is learning from his mistakes or not. not one of you on this forum is sinless or without fault! I know I'm not, and I'm woman enough to admit that.

Please have hot spicy unprotected sexx wiv him n become his fourth baby mama. . . Instead of u to learn from the baby-mamas, u wanna interview him. . . Do u think he didn't promise the other baby mamas heaven on earth? Gosh u girls underestimate the sweet mouth of a male sha. SMH. . . For a christian, your level of wisdom is low. . . Let's assume he has repented, his old ways wud still come back and hunt him one way or another. . Do u plan on sharing the karma wiv him? Pls let him do something as dignifying as marrying one of the baby-mamas n look for ur one that compliments ur upbringing. . .

kpolli:

Please have [b]hot spicy unprotected sexx wiv him [/b]n become his fourth baby mama. . . Instead of u to learn from the baby-mamas, u wanna interview him. . . Do u think he didn't promise the other baby mamas heaven on earth? Gosh u girls underestimate the sweet mouth of a male sha. SMH. . . For a christian, your level of wisdom is low. . . Let's assume he has repented, his old ways wud still come back and hunt him one way or another. . Do u plan on sharing the karma wiv him? Pls let him do something as dignifying as marrying one of the baby-mamas n look for ur one that compliments ur upbringing. . .

that's not happening. I made a promise to God to not have sex until marriage

The Christian in you would have acknowledged your wrong instead of blabbing about how you're working towards perfection. You are so wrong for that family thing you said. Ask God to forgive you, and them for whatever they did. And please let's hear word about this closing legs business. Stop being a hypocrite cos according to the Bible you have already fornicated. You are probably sex starved and desperately looking for a man to go along with you on this no s3x quest. Good luck finding someone patient enough to wait with you and your stinking attitude. Don't listen to the family members you have dissed . . . .go and win a soul for God. Go convert the guy.

kelz88: The Christian in you would have acknowledged your wrong instead of blabbing about how you're working towards perfection. You are so wrong for that family thing you said. Ask God to forgive you, and them for whatever they did. And please let's hear word about this closing legs business. Stop being a hypocrite cos according to the Bible you have already fornicated. You are probably sex starved and desperately looking for a man to go along with you on this no s3x quest. Good luck finding someone patient enough to wait with you and your stinking attitude. Don't listen to the family members you have dissed . . . .go and win a soul for God. Go convert the guy.

the bible says that a wise man listens to instruction, so yes, I do acknowledge that two wrongs don't make a right and I probably should not have told their business like that over the internet. But I'm not perfect. I struggle daily with the pain and anger that is within me, and I try to forgive my family for what they have done to me. but sometimes it's hard. I WILL NOT go into detail, and it wouldn't make a difference anyway, because there are some on this forum who are hellllbent on making me the villain.

I am trying to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God. If a man is not willing to wait until marriage for intimacy, then he does not truly love me. If I never have sexxx again that is fine with me.

This is exactly what I am talking about; this world is such a judgmental place. The way this man looked at me when he told me about the amount of baby mamas he had....it was as if he almost expected me to run then and there. My cousin knows him personally and said that he has an attitude. I understand this; alot of times underneath anger is pain. Maybe we will never become more than friends, but God help me, I like this man. Where it will lead only He knows. Obviously he has made plenty of mistakes, but so have I, so has everyone. But he is a survivor, I respect that as well. Sometimes this world can bring you down to the GROUND, that getting up doesn't cross a person's mind. But this man got back up, he's not making excuses, nor is he apologetic. Why should he be? A saint is nothing but a sinner who fell down to his knees, and asked God for forgiveness, then made a CHOICE to lift himself up, and attempt to not only talk the talk, but walk to walk as well.

If I had my way, I would make a bet with God that this promise must be broken
.

TisaBone:


that's not happening. I made a promise to God to not have sex until marriage

.
. . . Once it was time for me to leave, I stood up,
and couldn't take my eyes from him. He asked was
I ready for a hug, and I sort of melted and said that
I was. He took me in his arms, and his hands
roamed all over my lower back, and my hips, and I
could feel his hands hovering over my behind, but he stopped short. I never knew that just a simple
hug could arouse not only my body, but my mind
as well.
irresistible
nw i hope u can all see?

you guys act like its some sort of sin to be attracted to someone. I am a woman mind you, with desires like any other woman. the key is, with God's assistance, I can and will control them. Also, what makes you think that I would ever allow myself to be alone with him?

you just want me to fail so you can say "i told you so", which does nothing but give me the strength to push even harder, and fight with renewed vigor to do what it is that I say I will do.

it is a sin to be attracted to the gutters.
You may not know the curses , those baby's mama must have pour on this man u r melting and having desire for.

TisaBone:

the bible says that a wise man listens to instruction, so yes, I do acknowledge that two wrongs don't make a right and I probably should not have told their business like that over the internet. But I'm not perfect. I struggle daily with the pain and anger that is within me, and I try to forgive my family for what they have done to me. but sometimes it's hard. I WILL NOT go into detail, and it wouldn't make a difference anyway, because there are some on this forum who are hellllbent on making me the villain.

I am trying to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God. If a man is not willing to wait until marriage for intimacy, then he does not truly love me. If I never have sexxx again that is fine with me.

This is exactly what I am talking about; this world is such a judgmental place. The way this man looked at me when he told me about the amount of baby mamas he had....it was as if he almost expected me to run then and there. My cousin knows him personally and said that he has an attitude. I understand this; alot of times underneath anger is pain. Maybe we will never become more than friends, but God help me, I like this man. Where it will lead only He knows. Obviously he has made plenty of mistakes, but so have I, so has everyone. But he is a survivor, I respect that as well. Sometimes this world can bring you down to the GROUND, that getting up doesn't cross a person's mind. But this man got back up, he's not making excuses, nor is he apologetic. Why should he be? A saint is nothing but a sinner who fell down to his knees, and asked God for forgiveness, then made a CHOICE to lift himself up, and attempt to not only talk the talk, but walk to walk as well.

Seems ur so in love with this guy. . . You have concluded he has changed and ur always saying how he has gotten back up (without explaining fully). . . You can go ahead and marry him. . . But let me warn u, if u marry him, ur marriage wud never know peace. Not a curse but a fact. . . Man kills the destinies of 3 ladies (how many of this ladies wud have it easy in future) and u now think u can be his Mrs without repercusions. . .

You know when they say good girls fall for bad guys, they were talking about u.

I seriously advice u to date him, maybe u can maintain his sexual urge without actually having sex wiv him.

TisaBone: you guys act like its some sort of sin to be attracted to someone. I am a woman mind you, with desires like any other woman. the key is, with God's assistance, I can and will control them. Also, what makes you think that I would ever allow myself to be alone with him?

you just want me to fail so you can say "i told you so", which does nothing but give me the strength to push even harder, and fight with renewed vigor to do what it is that I say I will do.

We are not pastors, we can't pray or deliver u. . . We are NLers we can only advice u harshly

TisaBone: you guys act like its some sort of sin to be attracted to someone. I am a woman mind you, with desires like any other woman. the key is, with God's assistance, I can and will control them. Also, what makes you think that I would ever allow myself to be alone with him?

you just want me to fail so you can say "i told you so", which does nothing but give me the strength to push even harder, and fight with renewed vigor to do what it is that I say I will do.

go and get laid and get urself out of your misery. i am not sure you are productive in any way cos sexx is all you think about all day. haba!

tell me this. what's the difference between three baby's mama's and three wives?

TisaBone: tell me this. what's the difference between three baby's mama's and three wives?

Baby's mama
1. See i'm not ready to settle down with a bit¤h like u
2. That I had unprotected sex with u doesn't mean I want to bear the consequences
3. Get rid of that Baztaard or get the hell out of my life
4. I am irresponsible, so don't trick me into marriage
.
Three wives
1. I want u to be mine forever but I have a wife, hope u don't mind being no. 2, of course u r no. 1 in my heart
2. Now that u r pregnant for me, I have to marry u n give the baby the love of parent
3. I'm proud to say u r my wife
4. Marrying u doesn't stop me from taking another wife Insha Allah

TisaBone: tell me this. what's the difference between three baby's mama's and three wives?

Thats a very good question.

Both groups are being bleeped/used by a doggish male-ho.

Aren't wife number 2 and 3....cultural legal baby mommas?

See ladies...that's why you need to screen who you are fucking and WEAR PROTECTION for every Bleep unless it is your monogamous husband. Real talk.

Mrs.Chima:
Aren't wife number 2 and 3....cultural legal baby mommas?

See ladies...that's why you need to screen who you are fucking and WEAR PROTECTION for every Bleep unless it is your monogamous husband. Real talk.

Exactly! That's a choice that the women make. a woman doesn't have to be wife number two. no one makes her. just like you can't only blame these men with all these bm's. That woman chose to lay down with that man. I choose not to lay down with a man until I have a ring on my finger, therefore I'm saving myself a whole lot of heartache and pain. Now as far as any potential husband having multiple children by multiple women, that's the equivalent of saying that a woman with a "past" doesn't deserve love and marriage, because of what she USED to do and who she USED to be.

@tisa- a part of u wants a fling wit dis man n u are scared of doing it. Dat part might probably be ur oldsev n u need help 2 overcome it. Dis man knows wat he's doing,he gave u a hug which u shud hav refused but u stil went ahead. If i were u,i wil run n nvr luk back. Afta u sleep wit each oda ur eyes is gonna open lyk eve afta eatin d forbidden fruit. GUDLUCK 2 u on d choice u make.

TisaBone:


Exactly! That's a choice that the women make. a woman doesn't have to be wife number two. no one makes her. just like you can't only blame these men with all these bm's. That woman chose to lay down with that man. I choose not to lay down with a man until I have a ring on my finger, therefore I'm saving myself a whole lot of heartache and pain. Now as far as any potential husband having multiple children by multiple women, that's the equivalent of saying that a woman with a "past" doesn't deserve love and marriage, because of what she USED to do and who she USED to be.

That's is true about the choice. I don't see how women can knowingly sleep with a man that is sticking his dick in multiple women regardless if he is "married" to her. That's bleeped up how a woman can sit by the window and count the days her "nassy arse" hubby will reunite with her.

I found that many women who are in polygamous marriage do not work because they are taking care of their children and older wives' children as well. Some wives are excommunicated from the group for various reasons and the younger wives have to take in the children because the women do not have rights to their children upon divorce. Which is sad and bleeped up.

Some polygamous wives have home businesses however their main role is to take care of their rotating husband and plethora of babies. I can see that many of the reap the benefits of having their husbands gone for a few days however...who to say the other wives are infection free?

There is no difference between a woman with a bunch of kids by multiple men and a men with a bunch of kids by multiple women. I know some people can't keep their legs closed long enough to slide on a rubber.....but damn.

TisaBone:


Exactly! That's a choice that the women make. a woman doesn't have to be wife number two. no one makes her. just like you can't only blame these men with all these bm's. That woman chose to lay down with that man. I choose not to lay down with a man until I have a ring on my finger, therefore I'm saving myself a whole lot of heartache and pain. Now as far as any potential husband having multiple children by multiple women, that's the equivalent of saying that a woman with a "past" doesn't deserve love and marriage, because of what she USED to do and who she USED to be.

Gosh!!! So ur planning to be the woman he marries and the other baby-mamas would just be looking at u. . . Be like say u dunno shittt about nigerian families. . . Safe journey

MRbrownJAY: @OP
how can you judge him before even spending any time with him? go out with the guy, see if you find anything that you like/desire about him. spend valuable time to discover if he is who he claims to be. yeah, on paper he doesnt look too good but so far he hasnt treated you or showed you anything negative.

forget about what people are saying, you are in the frontline and can judge him and evaluate him by yourself. if his past didnt scare you then what your family and friends are saying shouldnt either.

here is the only rule you have to stand by: you should keep your "cootie cat" away from this man as LONG as possible.......even wait after marriage (if possible) because his track record is NOT good. he certainly should understand that with a few baby mamas, he cannot be fully trusted on this subject.

btw: do not follow your aunt's advice of asking him to pay for your bills etc. that is just a cheap way of giving yourself to a man! if he pays your bills then he becomes part of your life, and your will have to return the favor.......... that entails giving away some of your "pleasures", even if you dont want to.

and remember, accept him for ALL of what he is (kids/baby mamas/past etc) or NOTHING.

this is a very silly post. The man has 4 kids from 3 different women. By the time he has finished paying child support what would be left for you and your own kids? My dear, you are too young to settle for someone else's sloppy seconds. Find your own man.

@poster.

A 32year old guy is but a boy when it comes to handling women issues.

He could have done those things care-freely without taking necessary precautions.

He is just getting to be a man and he may very well end up being a good husband and wife.

I ask you guys there, how many of you will get a wife if all your relationships
had ended with babies. I mean if if you had not been 'careful", very careful.

Follow your mind girl. That is the best advice anybody can give you.

A round of applause for the 4th baby momma as she make her way to the slaughter ground....(I laugh in spanish)

The 3 baby momma started just like you.

Another "stylish" man-bashing silly story?
So, you've been told he is a Dog?

I guess he has been told you're a BITCH and that's why you are after him!

Or do you need us to tell you that as well?

Mtchew!

This Nairaland sef, every dimwitted nitwit has to open a thread on all manner of silly things under the sun!

Lastpage!

next please......

Mrs.Chima:


Thats a very good question.

Both groups are being bleeped/used by a doggish male-ho.

Is that what you think a wife is? Mrs. Chima sounds like she never wants to get married.......

kelz88: The Christian in you would have acknowledged your wrong instead of blabbing about how you're working towards perfection. You are so wrong for that family thing you said. Ask God to forgive you, and them for whatever they did. And please let's hear word about this closing legs business. Stop being a hypocrite cos according to the Bible you have already fornicated. You are probably sex starved and desperately looking for a man to go along with you on this no s3x quest. Good luck finding someone patient enough to wait with you and your stinking attitude. Don't listen to the family members you have dissed . . . .go and win a soul for God. Go convert the guy.

LMAO! kelz88, take it easy on the girl nauh! She's just sharing her feelings. Sounds like u judgding her now (or have something personal against her.

My dear, you need to wise up!
What are u doing with ds man when we have single responsible guys out there. Wise Up and Act Right!

TisaBone: There is this man that I am extremely interested in. I respected him, because he was able to bring himself out of the gutter, and free himself from the bondage of crime and jail and has become a successful businessman. He has a lot of ambition and drive, which I love , as well as this magnetic power emanating from him. The attraction was definitely mutual.

I went by his shop, and we talked for maybe an hour about many things. He knows that I am a Christian. He wanted to know what my dreams were, my goals for the future, and where I saw myself once I graduated college. He wanted to know why I was not in a relationship, and I told him because I was not willing to settle for just any old man. I made him laugh, and he made me laugh. He told me he was 32 with four kids, and 3 baby mothers, which scared me. I mean I was ready to run for the hills. But as he began to talk of his children, I could see the love he had for all of them, and I began to soften up once more, but at the same time my guard was still up because I know that sometimes men will talk of their children, to make themselves appear more wholesome than what they really are.

He knows how old I am, but as we were talking he picked up on the fact that although I was young, I had lived a little. He asked me why I went to church. I told him because I had problems, and I was trying to work them out with and for God so that I could become a better person.

As most men tend to do, he got a little fresh and asked could I come over and cook him dinner, once I revealed to him that I was a guru in the kitchen. I told him absolutely not, and he wanted to know why. I said because I was not ready. He said that he could respect that, and that was the end of that particular conversation. Once it was time for me to leave, I stood up, and couldn't take my eyes from him. He asked was I ready for a hug, and I sort of melted and said that I was. He took me in his arms, and his hands roamed all over my lower back, and my hips, and I could feel his hands hovering over my behind, but he stopped short. I never knew that just a simple hug could ****** not only my body, but my mind as well.

Fast forward to a couple of days later. I am talking to my aunt and cousin, about this new man I have met. I asked for prayer from my aunt, because I need to stay strong and the lady always. She wanted to know what his name was, and once I said it, my cousin turns around and is flabbergasted. According to her, this man is quite the player around town, and is known to dog women out. He may even have a girlfriend, but my cousin said she didn't know for sure. She told me to stay away from him because he was too old, and the only reason older men talk to young girls ( I'm always a child when its convenient, at other times I'm a grown up when it suits her purposes) is so that they can feel like they are doing something. My aunt chimed in and said I should ask him to pay my light bill and take me out to an expensive restaurant. She said that would get rid of him quick. It's ironic that she would suggest this considering that her own husband is an invalid who hasn't worked not one day in their ten year marriage. My cousin is a thirty something, unemployed, and bitter woman, who awaits the release of her on/off again boyfriend from prison so that they can be wed. She ridiculed me because he is shorter than me, but I don't care! according to her I'm "settling." I mean for God's sake I'm 5'11! alot of men will be taller than me, but he told me he loved my height, and that if we were ever to go out, that he definitely needed me in a pair of heels.

In my opinion both are bitter, but I can't totally discard what is being told to me. I'm scared and confused. He not once disrespected me in anyway, and seems to be accepting of all that I have told him. Is this information that I have received from my cousin a sign that I should leave this man alone? Should I walk away and never look back?

I guess the OP must be 14. . .otherwhise I don't know why she would keep emphasizing that a 32 year old dude is an 'old man'. Alhough I must confess he is quite prolific if, at that 'tender' age, he already has 4 kids, 3 baby mommas, and xyz jail time to his name. Guess guys get too old too quickly these days.


Concerning the story, in less than a few weeks from now, you'd fall in line and give him a good fluting prior to taking his thing from behind in the dog fashion. It's trite that the more of a dog a man is, the more girls like you would be willing (consciously or subconsciously) to feed him your meat. The long story here is really pointless, as you will do what has been already programmed into your DNA, i.e. succumb to a real dog whenever you have the fortune or misfortune of being chased by one. It's fait accompli. . .and your jumbled thoughts provide sufficient evidence of that.

OP,

From your trail of posts, i honestly find you ridiculous. If am the "dog" pulling your strings, i'll totally F.ck you up and check you on my list of "gone downs"

Your whole personality sucks!