PortHarcourtBoy:

As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

curry n thyme 4 soup? Nah nah, i told u phboy dis is nt faling hand, wel jst tink twice, btw ur stomak, ur bed, n ur love.

am very very sorry for u if u dnt take to ur hills. an adage says d "eyes dat will go blind will begin to bring out puss in d morning" my dear a broken relationship is better dan a broken marriage havent u heard dat? watever u struggle to get u struggle to keep. trust me dis guy will become ten times worst my d time u get married.

For crying out out loud... my Fiancee cannot cook, she knows it, i'm not saying this behind her...she cannot cook!!

I do the cooking most times because I've been doing this since 16...

Well, if instead of her improving on her skills, she chooses to stick to her ineptitudes

Omo...me I go match oh... no time!

I hoope you can still remember the issue of the banker lady that was killed by her husband. If you dont want you own to be like that, YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY! Sorry ffor being blunt.

Lady, a man that calls u fool cannot be ur husband.The earlier u disengage the better for 4 u.Start a new life with one that values u.

@phboy it's either your girl is one of these aje butter girls who practically has been spoilt as far as house chores are concerned or maybe inherrently lazy
some girls don't know that for the mere fact that you are a good cook can make ur spouse not to look the other way

shizzle11:



@shollypopz why naa?, Instead of you to advice Doctorazz to throw her laziness and unwillingness to learn out of the window, you are advising her to bring a relation so she could keep lazying aroundn SMH.
How could you accuse the man of lacking contentment, has she done enough to learn and overcome her lazyness Ladies like you are always quick to complain and cry to the high heavens every when you are largely inadequate in so many areas. IMO, the only valid advice from you is on the bedmatics formula!

i never said she should bring a relative. i said a relative should teach her or a friend.
Concerning contentment, read further and carefully too, i'm sure you would see why i said so too. besides, i'm noticing something very fishy on this thread. A few min ago, EloJo spoke like Doctorazz and then erased it. but i'm not sure, i'm beginning to doubt authenticity

Ivynwa: How come Doctorazz lady started the thread and Portharcourt man took over the thread? Why is she not responding? Are you sure that you are not very domineering, Ph man?

Where do you find it in you to call your woman a fool? The same woman you are telling us that you love? What kind of love is this one? What is going on here?---this is not very healthy.

Domineering, how?. Did you also hear from ph man dat she abuses his family?, what sort of gal will insult her inlaws to be if not a cowardly Doctorazz who wouldn't even know how to cook and she's talking of getting married? Ivynwa please be objective and advice her properly and stop being gender biased

I cook, I clean the house, I get bad sex...wetin some of una dey yarn sef? All my Fiancee can do is lie on the bed and ask me to cuddle her...is that what marriage is all about?

As a man I neva try?

I'm the one managing her and hoping someday she'd change... if I dump her for one of the many chicks disturbing my life at the moment, you guys would be quick to say "Guys are wicked"...

If you love her, advice her oh... 'cos my patience is running out

I am inclined not to have any sympathy for the poster for some reasons which I will state below. We have only listened to your own side of the story and there is one particular piece of information herein about your "verbally abusive" boyfriend. You have added that he is currently unemployed. This present state can be quite frustrating and demeaning for a man's ego. Now, I am aware that my view could be biased and I am also not holding sway for his "act of cowardice", (yes I will call it this because any man that abuses a woman either verbally or physically is one) but how have you helped him in this regard? Do you encourage him with motivating words or embark of a journey of self comparison(your mates are doing this and that and you are still looking for a job etc). The worst thing that can happen to a man is to have his ego bruised and besides relationships is not just about sex and food alone.

On second thought, if all you have said is true, then there no point staying another second in the relationship. The holy books spells out the consequences of casting our "pearls amongst swine", but hey this is Nigeria where most ladies get "confused" when you try to be polite and treat them with decorum so I am not surprised! They would prefer to be in a relationship where they are treated like "trash" and kept in the background rather than one where they will be pampered and treated like the "Nubian" queens that they ought to be.

I was in Nigeria late last year for my parent's wedding anniversary and decided to visit this chinese restaurant on the island. I ran into three ladies at the entrance and tried to be a gentleman by opening the door for them to enter. To my wider shock, I overheard one of the ladies calling me a "mugu". Upon further inquiry, from my cousin at home, I was told what the derogatory term stands for. Similarly, another lady immediately assumed I was after her BB pin and tel number and instantly declined even before I asked for it just because I offered to assist her with her extra baggage at Shoprite.

@ the poster, sorry about your predicament but "I am not holding my breath"

shollypops or wettin be your name . . If your man is MAGA does not mean every man should be.

If you used VOODOO on ya husband and it works does not mean it wil work for others.

If your man do the house job for you and you are on here gossiping on NL . . who cares?

If you are lucky to be the bread winner of ya family . . Pls who cares?

If you want to give advice . . be straight forward rather than using your family plight to judge others.

@PBoy. . .


I knew all what she has been ranting were true lies. Thank God, you have come here to defend yourself.

despite the fact that i got married to a white lady, I have only been to the kitchen twice and i can't remember the last time i do the house work. The people giving her advice are singles ladies bcus they are deprived of man and they want her to join the clique of Oprah.

Bros . . Na you know where the thing they pinch you ooo. just sit her down and tell her the does and don't she doesnt know.

If all you wrote here is the truth and nothing but the truth,so help you God.....
Was it previously like this?.....I mean, when did all this abuse(s) start?....but, doctorazz, I don't understand...you mean you gave(and still giving) 5years of your life to a guy who is always abusing you!!....and probably he
scares the sh.I.t out of you!!!! What kinda relationship is that!!.... I don't think you are telling us the whole truth.......... What attracts you to him!?
You won't say he is kind or caring or understands you etc.... I don't believe the part where you said you don't wanna leave cos of the shame or what people might say bla bla bla..... What kinda excuse is that?.....
I don't mean to be rude but are you in your 30's?....do you have a child for him already?.... You really need to open up...

I wonder why some people choose to be in prison and call it a relationship.
@op You better RUN while you still can.
A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage..

Shollypopz:
i never said she should bring a relative. i said a relative should teach her or a friend.
Concerning contentment, read further and carefully too, i'm sure you would see why i said so too. besides, i'm noticing something very fishy on this thread. A few min ago, EloJo spoke like Doctorazz and then erased it. but i'm not sure, i'm beginning to doubt authenticity

She's the one on both IDs

Nothing in this world would make me support such. Any form of abuse on a woman is not permitted. I am shocked the op is asking for advise on this when you should have kicked him to the curb ever since. For women to survive a relationship with a man, you have to start thinking and acting like a man. Can a man stick to a verbally abusive lady? most men wont so serve them what they dish.

seedord247:

i'm not gossiping Mr. i'm only stating my opinion as you have stated yours. I'm very straight forward. you just need to read carefully and pay attention to little details, it goes a long way.

cindyrella: I wonder why some people choose to be in prison and call it a relationship.
@op You better RUN while you still can.
A broken relationship is far better than a broken marriage..

when was the last time you got penetrated??

A) 3 yrs

B) 2 yrs

C) 5 yrs

D) men are scared of you

Run,baby,run.If you get married to this guy,in three months,you will regret every waking breaty you take.Danger!thats all there is to the relationship.You'll find a better guy,by God grace

spothot: @phboy it's either your girl is one of these aje butter girls who practically has been spoilt as far as house chores are concerned or maybe inherrently lazy
some girls don't know that for the mere fact that you are a good cook can make ur spouse not to look the other way

Aje butter na him I go chop? Me I no be kpako yet I know how to cook wella!! Abeg marriage comes with responsibilities. Please advise her to drop that Aje thing and go take some tutorials on how be a real woman

seedord247:

when was the last time you got penetrated??

A) 3 yrs

B) 2 yrs

C) 5 yrs

D) men are scared of you

...you wan kill me with laugh

Cuddlemii: Nothing in this world would make me support such. Any form of abuse on a woman is not permitted. I am shocked the op is asking for advise on this when you should have kicked him to the curb ever since. For women to survive a relationship with a man, you have to start thinking and acting like a man. Can a man stick to a verbally abusive lady? most men wont so serve them what they dish.

No dey beeee like frog . .

Read from page 1 and edit your comment.

Its better you pull out of d relationship now than to be a divorcee tomorrow.

Forget d guy. He has some problems. Leave him asap.

PortHarcourtBoy:

As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

@shollypopz I get u, bt you may also want to read ph man's submission above. If she's not willing and raedy to learn from him, then I doubt any relative would be useful eighter. From my observatio and from ph mans responses, its like the op is naturally lazy, not willing to take corrections or to learn, nags to much etc yet she cries fowl. I really think she needs to step up her game and adjust, seeking for sympathy on NL wouldn't help her because even if she parts ways with ph man, what guarantee does she have that the next man she meets wouldn't even demand more from her, unless she is lucky to marry a super-rich man who's realy to condon her lazyness and employ the services of cooks, stewards and what have u, she had better work on her lapses just as ph man has also promised to work on his own lapses cos no one is perfect but I insist, a woman really needs to be up and on the home front more so when she has a men who's always willing and supportive in that aspect. In my sincere opinion, the op shouldn't be complaining !

PortHarcourtBoy:

As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

@shollypopz I get u, bt you may also want to read ph man's submission above. If she's not willing and raedy to learn from him, then I doubt any relative would be useful eighter. From my observatio and from ph mans responses, its like the op is naturally lazy, not willing to take corrections or to learn, nags to much etc yet she cries fowl. I really think she needs to step up her game and adjust, seeking for sympathy on NL wouldn't help her because even if she parts ways with ph man, what guarantee does she have that the next man she meets wouldn't even demand more from her, unless she is lucky to marry a super-rich man who's realy to condon her lazyness and employ the services of cooks, stewards and what have u, she had better work on her lapses just as ph man has also promised to work on his own lapses cos no one is perfect but I insist, a woman really needs to be up and on the home front more so when she has a men who's always willing and supportive in that aspect. In my sincere opinion, the op shouldn't be complaining !

PortHarcourtBoy:

As regards cooking, she doesn't like my presence around the kitchen, when in actual sense my presence is needed in order to guide her on what and what to use while cooking, right quantities of these ingredients and also the sequencing...but she doesn't like this

If we are preparing certain meals together and I tell her what ingredients to be used, she sometimes insists on the addition of some ingredients which are a taboo in standard cooking practice, eg. - adding curry and thyme to my local soups, if my tastebuds find it funny, I discontinue eating...when I complain, her response would be such continental spices are used for the preparation of soups in her mother's house. We are not in her Mother's house for crying out loud, this is my house and you must learn how to cook my way...

@shollypopz I get u, bt you may also want to read ph man's submission above. If she's not willing and raedy to learn from him, then I doubt any relative would be useful eighter. From my observatio and from ph mans responses, its like the op is naturally lazy, not willing to take corrections or to learn, nags to much etc yet she cries fowl. I really think she needs to step up her game and adjust, seeking for sympathy on NL wouldn't help her because even if she parts ways with ph man, what guarantee does she have that the next man she meets wouldn't even demand more from her, unless she is lucky to marry a super-rich man who's realy to condon her lazyness and employ the services of cooks, stewards and what have u, she had better work on her lapses just as ph man has also promised to work on his own lapses cos no one is perfect but I insist, a woman really needs to be up and on the home front more so when she has a men who's always willing and supportive in that aspect. In my sincere opinion, the op shouldn't be complaining !

You are thinking that after the exchange of vows, everything would change. Mo sorry fun e. Wedding is just another day in a man's life. Here is one thing u can do. BOTH OF YOU can sign up for counselling of nothing less than 3yrs. You'd say its long but i'd advice you do it if you've stayed 5yrs with d guy. With tym, all will be well. My reason is simply thus; you might call it quits now but end up spendin another three yrs making d next guy be the Mr. right. Act right, act now.

Babe, this guy is insecured and he is taking out his shortcomings on you. By breaking your self esteem, he is trying to boost his. Its better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage. You know what, just to be sure...the next time he abuse you verbally, give him as much as he gives. Then sit him down and tell him your fears, if he doesn't change, kiss his ass goodbye!

@phboy it's better you re-post your own side of the story 'cos people are just reading only the opening post before commenting

PortHarcourtBoy:

My Dear, we both know if you step out, there's a sharp sharp replacement...even though I've not considered that option yet

So whatever ur decision, nothing do me...I just don't wanna break your heart for old time sake, and maybe for love sake...
Omo...me I go match oh... no time!

Nairalanders!! u guys are exasperating! Am i the only one reading what PortHarcourtBoy is saying?? This guy has no respect whatsoever for his fiancee. Very sad!

I am not on both ids shollypop I used a friends ipad and dats her own I'd.

^^oh, my bad