firestar: Why isn't the domestic fowl an endangered species?

Hm, Ishilove.

Ishilove:
My hand no dey there sha o, but if you succeed, PM me your joint sharpaly

firestar: ^Ever tried your tactic on a turkey?

esere826: I must commend the writer of this post for doing a great job
of writing and entertaining us throughout the year.

I have therefore clicked on this thread =>
https://www.nairaland.com/1131064/official-literature-writing-section-poster/3 and typed 'ishilove'

as a vote of confidence on her prolific and God given skills to awe us

Ishilove, a toast to you.
"may you have triplets in three succession, and may your bossom still be like FIFA balls when you are in your 80's"

ITbomb: What Ishilove thinks is chasing a fowl

esere826: I must commend the writer of this post for doing a great job
of writing and entertaining us throughout the year.

I have therefore clicked on this thread =>
https://www.nairaland.com/1131064/official-literature-writing-section-poster/3 and typed 'ishilove'

as a vote of confidence on her prolific and God given skills to awe us

Ishilove: Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 
Another method:
 
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
 
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
 
And another. . .
 
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
 
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene

Ishilove:
Hahahahahahaha!!! Hell nah!

illicit: @ishi, see no fowl will see u carryong a big stick in hand and still follow u come chop corn at ur feet, unless u r talkin agric mumu fowl, not those ones in my area.
Method me and my housemates use back then, close d door leading to ur backyard, leave ur kictchen door open and close all room doors, open d front door amd litter grain all around the floor of the passage from ur verandah straight to d kitchen, walk away and watch from the nearby bush or tree, whichever u prefer, chickens will come in in multitude, now go in after dem with ur pals and lock d front door after u, u will select and catch d best and leave d rest. #it works#

abdullkabar:
na Begging tinx: "oko iya mi jo dakun"

Ishilove:
E be like sey fowl tif plenty for area

illicit:
Lol no be me o, I just overheard a guy tellin his friends dis story so I tot I shd share#

maxman10: Commenting on the post. I quickly realised that this is mostly applicable (90%) on agric fowls. Cos if it's a village or 'okuko igbo' (as we call it here), then you'll have a 30% chance of luring it in that manner. It might not even look at you. Even after you might have dropped the grains and moved away a considerable distance, it wll stll be relluctnt to step any closer still.

They are mostly chased or pursued, hehe

maxman10: I dunnoooo! maybe it's the area, or environment. Mayb culture or ethnicity, mayb mama or papo upbringing or idiosyncracy, or maybe it's outrightly the Nigeria effect.
WoW! For a lady to post a thing like this, it's thrilling. I mean, it's so hilarious on it's own, but wen I finishd reading it,I assumed it to be a male. Then seeing "Ishilove", u must be one unique character. I so like u already. That's intriguing. Nice one

esere826: Hi readers

This is xmas season, a period to give back
It takes a lot of effort and creativity to write such a thread

Please remember to show your appreciation to the writer by voting her in this section=>
https://www.nairaland.com/1131064/official-literature-writing-section-poster/3
simply click and type ishilove

Thanks

Have a wonderful xmas and a happy newyear