did you marry for Love or sex?

No, adultery cannot help your marriage, but talking to your
wife will. Unless she has pregnancy related pyschological problems
(which are quite common) she should be able to understand your
predicament. See a doctor if necessary. Good luck.

Dear Poster!
I will like to share my experience with you and i believe it will help you too. I have a kid already and turning One by December. During my wife's pregnancy, she neva allowed me to have sex with her for close to 4 months too at the early stage. When we discussed it, I discovered she was scared to do it being her first pregancy. She ws naive about it. When I noticed that, we went to our doctor together and raised the issue. He (doctor) explained to her that there is no harm in it only that we have to save the last one month to her EDD. We were both happy at the end of the whole thing.

My advice is that:
1. Discuss with her first and know exactly why she is refusing you.
2. Some women are not freak about sex in pregancy, your wife could be one of them. Try to find out.
3. You have to understand with her, that you dont have to do it as often as before the pregnancy.
Some of them get tired enough and get discourage to have sex atall. You have to help her out in the house chores. This encourages her and show you are part of the pregnancy too.
4. Let her know how yu feel abt the whole situation and that you dont wish to do sometin she wouldnt approve. Om sure she will understand too.
5. Lastly, praay together.

Talk to your wifey again and again and again.  Understand her feelings and you know this is reciprocal- no matter how tough it is for her she will give in unless it  is a medical condition.
My piece.

enjoy!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yKsE3aJBDkk

nothing do you!

adultery can never help your marriage, instead it will kill your marriage. So don't.

Hmmm serious talk here, I have a simple answer but since the poster asked unmarried virgins like me not to contribute, I think he is about to mess the whole thing because wisdom does not reside in the elderly alone.

hi,
my hubby was once in that position and he had to talk to me about his feelings. talk to ur wife, it could be that she is getting irritated at the discomfort she is feeling, like nausea, cramps, maybe backpain and swollen feet,

try to show her some concern, by helpingh with house chores, it would relieve her fears, but do you know that you just being eager cos i bet you in her 6th- 8th month, she would have an insatiable desire for you that you would not even be able to satisfy! yes
so 4get the other girl, u cld get hooked

almondjoy:

In all honesty--he has a 50/50 chance of his marriage surviving the "adulterous" affair.  How many women leave their homes realistically after the man has populated the whole city with children.  Most women will really put up with that and hope for the best. I am not encouraging adultery but to point out that communication is the issue now not adultery. 

The poster is softening up so let us help him reach the promised land.

I say wait till baby #4 shows up.  You will be sleeping in separate bedrooms!   Or like oyb said:

MAJOR  GENERAL WANKA!!! WHERE YOU DEY OH Don't let the religios ones get a hold of that "rosy palmer" gist oh!  Na sin according to some!

Finally listen to what women want too!
He is still "young and restless"!  Like oyb said--wait till the baby is born and mama has to breast feed junior for about a year.  The poster will run mad for losing his favorite toys!   Any attempt to mess with them will meet with some serious eye and nose drops that might cause him to choke.  Junior will definitely not appreciate that either and the poster might just get pee'ed and pooped on, every day and night for encroaching.

No sharing please!

The pathetic fool sounding pessimistic as usual.I can see that you are an irredeemably promiscuous slut. I have told you time without numbers that you have a dry marriage where you are a training kit for samuel peters the boxer is not a guarantee that others have so.

So a miserable soul like you should stop influencing youths getting ready for marriage. Desist from telling them that there is no happiness in marriage as years go by.

You devilishly detestable ruffian that is a rape on woman decency.

I have told you to go to the nearest bridge and do the right thing.your post is too nightmarish and retarded for my liking.So get your flea infested ass out of this site.

@nwando
Did you really ask if she was pregnat in the mouth too?
You FREAK!! Didnt know you had it in you.

my sister,I held out for 2 days and I couldn't  hold it any longer.
We all know men like that.Infact some prefer it to the real thing.
This wife needs to get with the program.

Quote from: oyb on Today at 10:08:20 AM
too much of popular culture has given people the wrong idea about what is required to get madam in the mood. too much of the time, peeps focus on the physical - pre-intimacy etal.

more often than not - its more in the mind. Your wife is 5 months pregnant. what are you doing to make her feel appreciated?  are you doing more than your fair share of the chores? do you gamely dismiss her fears that she's fat and shapeless? do you jump up and run to satisfy those admittedly irritating cravings that come over pregnant women?


the issue of your wife not being in the mood may simply be about the fact that you've 'changed' and not her being pregnant per se. Madam has told me the same thing more than once - that I'm not exactly the fella she dated for five years.

You may be suprised to find that its some very simple things that you used to do and no longer do that are responsible for your wife's 'frigidity'.

I'm talking as the father of a four month old. be advised, if you think you're deprived now - Nursing is a whole new world. You will have to share madam with your child. you may also find that she is way too tired to do anything as nursing a baby is a full time job and more. i personally think a little demonstration of TLC (suprise gifts, doing the dishes, that sort of thing) will work wonders.
and if all else fails -

Chei
I didn't know I'd been fighting with a die hard romantic on the religious threads.
I repent!
oyb,na you biko!
May that your 4 month old grow to be as romantic as his dad.

chei almond,spoilt and the other ladies,this guy is it!
Any woman would wear a hijab plus burqua for him
kai menene!

switpea:

did you marry for Love or sex?

love first, sex second! Are you assuming that love will satisfy a raging abunna?

my brother I saw that question too.
what type of Q is that.
Can there be marital love without sex?
They go together
like Taiwo and Kehinde

osisi do igbos have names for twins too?

nwando, am willing to wear barqua.

i'm learning a lot in here 

nwando:

This wife needs to get with the program.

she does. I will do anything to keep my man. Even if i'm having sextuplets.

nwando:



Chei
I didn't know I'd been fighting with a die hard romantic on the religious threads.
I repent!
oyb,na you biko!
May that your 4 month old grow to be as romantic as his dad.

chei almond,spoilt and the other ladies,this guy is it!
Any woman would wear a hijab plus burqua for him
kai menene!

Una see Major General Wanka? 

I say the bobo gat me!  Even if my boobs have varicose veins, I will allow ALL privileges.   Infact that hijab or burqua or wharrrrever stays off for the next 10 months of pregnancy and even before my first doctor's visit.! No black out periods of travel!---- Did you read all that?  Even to take bath tooooooooooo!  HABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  I cannot refuse that kind of a man at all at all! Infact I will be using cabbage leaves to make sure one drop of milk does not fall out from those suckers! The baby can eat "Cow and Gate"! Shoooooooooooooooooooooot!


@poster
You are still here making noise instead of doing your job of softening your wife up. Look, there is only so much all those your prayers can help you.  You will soon explode all over Nairaland and please don't mess up ma keyboard!

No wonder the woman is avoiding you! Very unromantic with all the insults you have been heaping on her.  Sometimes it is the things you do not say that hurts them most let me tell you.  And from the tone of your responses--if I were your wife I would make you wait another 8 months!!!!!!  You will definitely become a Brigadier General Wanka during this pensive period!

nwando:




chei almond,spoilt and the other ladies,this guy is it!
Any woman would wear a hijab plus burqua for him
kai menene!

he does sound romantic.but a guy will do any chore around the house quickly as long as it will get him some.

omoge:

nwando, am willing to wear barqua.

i'm learning a lot in here  

N gwanu apply to Oyb.
He's a muslim,he may have vacancies
with all them romantic skills,women will be begging for audition.
chei,Mrs oyb get am for romantic man.

D-reloaded:

osisi do igbos have names for twins too?

For where?
Igbos just name the kids names that sound alike or start with the same alphabets
like Robert and Roberta
Peter and Paul
Reloaded and Relodia
that's the best Igbo twins can get.

I like that Yoruba style of Taiwo and Kehinde followed by Idowu,then Alaba.
That is so cool.

spoilt:

he does sound romantic.but a guy will do any chore around the house quickly as long as it will get him some.

not all o or shall I say not all the time.
Some of our men have Naija manly culture entrenched in their DNA profile
He will watch you wash 25 pounds of beans,make moi moi,fry akara,braid Ada's hair with beads.
Even harvest cassava and process it to drinkable Ijebu garri
He'll just jejely wait for you to take a bath and hop in.

women dey suffer o
look at a man on this thread complaining that his 9 month pregnant wife is unchoppable.
go figure

nwando:

women dey suffer o
look at a man on this thread complaining that his 9 month pregnant wife is unchoppable.
go figure

Do you blame him? Try standing in front of the mirror looking like a "Thankgiving turkey"on 2 legs!  Me no go chop am ooooooooooooooh!   That is why I do not know what is wrong with this poster. At least he complained he cannot recognize her and yet he still wants to have sex with a shapeless blob of flesh--like Tyler Perry in his "Medea" body custume! How do you go making love to someone you do not feel attracted to?
Even if I am drunk.

What is the catch? If I were a man--If I a not attracted to a woman--it is not by force--just zip it! Does not mean I have to go and have an affair.  I would definitely wait till she gets "sexy" again because "she is not feeling too sexy" right now.  We can do other things like "meditation"--while you find your sleep numbers respectively!

laughing real hard at almondjoy and nwando.
i heard that is why there are polygamist in nig. if one get belle, go to the other.

Poster, help with shopping for baby. you will forget abt laying.

WOW! There is no other name for "WRONG", it's called WRONG

I swear to God, men like you send women to jail, because u treat dem so bad, they end up killing you. Are u not the one that got her pregnant? Even though u're not a woman, do u think women feel good tru d nine months of pregnancy? You are a disgrace! nmwo u wan tto go and sleep with her, I mean look at the stupid question u asked

"Can adultery help my marriage" Yes it can, so go ahead and sleep with someone else, when ur wife ispregnant again, Get out there and go sleep with someone else! It will help ur marriage, infact it willl even make it d best marriage!!

I swer, some men are just not worth living on God's earth, dis crap really pissed me off!

How can adultery help a marriage? God!!!! make I stop sef!

nwando:

not all o or shall I say not all the time.
Some of our men have Naija manly culture entrenched in their DNA profile
He will watch you wash 25 pounds of beans,make moi moi,fry akara,braid Ada's hair with beads.
Even harvest cassava and process it to drinkable Ijebu garri
He'll just jejely wait for you to take a bath and hop in.

take which bath and hop into where? he will wait till dooms day if he doesnt help with the chores!

spoilt:

take which bath and hop into where? he will wait till dooms day if he doesnt help with the chores!

The violent taketh it by force!

davidylan:

The violent taketh it by force!

Davidylan you don come oh!
unless bros doesnt mind doing 'lamancha' with a comatose person!

nwando:

not all o or shall I say not all the time.
Some of our men have Naija manly culture entrenched in their DNA profile
He will watch you wash 25 pounds of beans,make moi moi,fry akara,braid Ada's hair with beads.
Even harvest cassava and process it to drinkable Ijebu garri
He'll just jejely wait for you to take a bath and hop in.

is that why you are complaining?   The man sef try to wait jejely . . . other men will be hurrying you up sef.

spoilt:

Davidylan you don come oh!
unless bros doesnt mind doing 'lamancha' with a comatose person!

dont worry . . . the most important thing is to allow bro john to do his own chores.

davidylan:

is that why you are complaining?   The man sef try to wait jejely . . . other men will be hurrying you up sef.

so while im bent double washing the garawa of beans he'll be behind me with a 'gun' in his pocket?