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Re: thanks by denny4ril: 9:53am On Jun 26, 2012
These days while thousands of marriages are crumbling, some still survive. The question is why does love fades in marriage?

Nobody will teach anyone the specifics as no two marriages are the same. Like any other skill in life, it truly takes a life-time of effort and continuous practice and to have and keep a happy marriage. But with some effort, the rewards are amazing

The biggest reasons why love fades are because:

1 - Allowing resentments to build up in your relationship.

2- Not knowing how to communicate with each other in a way that inspires him to do what makes you feel happy.

3 - Lack of mutual respect for each other. Do you get so used to their partner and take him/her fro granted?

4 - Holding onto petty grievances and allowing resentment to build up in your marriage is a sure way to kill a marriage

You can read more at http://romance-gists..com/2011/05/how-to-stay-in-love-with-your-husband.html
Re: thanks by Luvsting: 10:00am On Jun 26, 2012
tongue wow....... Don't worry k,just dial +2348102793535. Luvsting gat d ans k,just big up! Hey madam,these 're all bunch of psychologically unbalanced epic fools out of their miserable lifes imposing on u their motionless &ever frustrating sense of reasoning called advice.
Re: thanks by blank(f): 10:06am On Jun 26, 2012
omosexy1: I certainly wish to differ because I notice some incorrect information from the post. First you are 38 (middle-age woman) with a good job and 4 kids (great). In a loveless marriage for 18 - 19years. Doing my maths, it shows you got married at either 19 or 20years (going by the information you provided). Secondly, you mentioned your eldest child is 10years and you have not made love in 5years. Apparently, you corrected this after being spotted by Chaircover, that your youngest is actually 10years. However the case, doing my maths again (18yrs of marriage less 5 years of no sex, equals 13 years of active sex life between you and your husband). Now if your youngest is 10 years, this automatically puts your eldest child to 12 years. I sincerely have a problem with deducing the ages of your 2 middle children (maybe 12.5 - 11.5 years right? except you got pregnant out of wedlock). Also, you did well in pointing out that your husband has low libido (i.e. low sex drive and you are clearly aware of this). I guess to justify the fact that your husband has not made love to you for 5 years and also the fact of no form of infidelity on your husband's part. For a man who can give birth to 4 children in 13 or 12 years, clearly the aspect of low libido should be ruled out (abi na one touch, one belly?).

Wow! Is that basic maths u just did there? The poster said for the last 5 years and not the first five years. First child can be 17, 2nd child, 15yrs, 3rd child 12yrs and 4th child will be 10yrs. Its the last 5yrs of her marriage I.e when the 4th child was 5. And you have already branded her a liar. When u wrote what u did, did it even make sense 2 u?.

1 Like

Re: thanks by omosexy1: 10:29am On Jun 26, 2012
lolz my bad. I just noticed. Na too much reading dey cause am. Well I just felt something wasn't right about the story. I still feel the same. But I do apologize to the poster for branding her a liar. However, I still feel something isn't true sha.
Re: thanks by tort(f): 10:56am On Jun 26, 2012
[b][/b]madam please handover this your situation to God and see what he can do for you.stop complaining and rise up for prayer and fasting.GOD can do all things he can even make the impossible to be possible,he said if we desire anything from our heart that he will do it for us if we believe.just search your self if you are wrong in any where and ask God to forgive you then take your request to him and you will see that he is faithful God.PRAYER IS THE KEY NO OTHER WAY OUT.try it and see.
Re: thanks by 04kaa: 1:17pm On Jun 26, 2012
This is what happens when a woman expects too much from a man...see after marriage , all men feel like they made a mistake like they can get a better woman out there..its just a natural feeling that we all go thru...my advice to u, keep quiet do not talk to him again, just cook his food when he comes, greet him and go str8 to ur room and face ur kids alone...i advise do not talk to him, do not ask him any question....do this for one month and he will return to his senses. its called the silent treatment. am sure u have been nagging and telling him that u expect him to do this and that, can u shape or mould a man's behaviour? absolutely not
Re: thanks by dorben: 2:27pm On Jun 26, 2012
MY DEAR,MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES,THERE ARE UPS AND DOWN IN IT.PLS I BEG U WITH THE NAME OF GOD ADULTERY IS NOT THE OPTION,ONE THING YOU SHOULD KNW IS THAT U ARE A MOTHER.UR CHILDREN SHOULD BE UR HAPINESS,THEY SHULD BE UR JOY,THEY SHULD BE UR FRIEND.I WANT U TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME AND U WILL SEE IT WILL WORK FOR U,AND UR HUSBAND WILL COME BACK BEGGING.AM MARRIED TOO AND HAVE HAD THIS KIND OF ISSUE BEFORE BUT THANK GOD EVERYTHING HAS BEEN RESOLVE AND THE LOVE IS BACK AGAIN.PLS IGNORE WATEVA HE IS DOING,CONCENTRATE ON UR KIDS RESPECT HIM,AND MAKE HIM KNW HE IS NOT THE SOURCE OF UR HAPINESS.
Re: thanks by sugardaddy1(m): 3:00pm On Jun 26, 2012
Stupid nigerian women. They will frustrate their husbands with their half-baked oyinbo "equality-in-marriage" mentality to the point of making the man push back in anger and then they start screaming blue murder. rubbish
Re: thanks by ronkebp(f): 3:26pm On Jun 26, 2012
Majority of the women are sometimes to blame for the problems they face in their husbands home.

1. No education or half baked education.
2. Marrying for the wrong reasons...
3. Refuse to work and earn their own living...infact, having a personal business will help balance work and the home needs
4. After kids, they just let themselves go....really? what is the Gym for?, you see so many women in their 50"s in other countries, jogging and eating right.
5. Low self esteem, when the men see ladies that are ontop of their games out there, you will sit home and be wallowing in low self-pity and be feeding yourself more with carbs.
6. Dress right, i just see some women with sponge-like weavons, Really?? the weavons are not even properly combed or brushed, it is alwyas as if i should reach into my bag and start to brush it for them, they dress shabilly and expect the men to compare them with other women outside and still look at them and be happy.

smiley smiley Men should start opening their mouths and tell their wives how they want them to look, after 4 or 5 kids, you should still be hot for your husband.

If there is nothing to love about a spouse, then love cannot be forced.
Re: thanks by PetroG1: 5:33pm On Jun 26, 2012
Awoloto!!!!!!
Fine you are unhappy, are you less busy with your head?
I have 4 questions and some suggestions.
I am not married but i live with married people and i learn alot from them.
1. were you guys friend before you got married/ you just married him because he poses to be good and presentable.
2. What kept you going at a point when you saw the relationship with your husband was detoirating. Did you watcth it break or you involved him with everystages of breaking?
3. Are you prayerful do you have job. Do you even support your man.
4. since your children came into the relationship have you had time for him did you make the relationship stay stronger or you abandoned him for the kids when they came in and now you need his attention you cant get it cos he has burned his energy into sometin else now he finds it hard to come back.
See, i do see some couples that the woman was the barrier because she naggs or she is not supporting.
If you have a job i dont think you will be as downcast as this then, a man needs a woman that makes him a child and get him cuddle.
A man need s to be pat at the back gist with and ask how was it today good or bad. or suggest an outing and drag him there.
dont tell him to meet you dressup.
when last did you wear those sexy things you use to wear and made your hair.
maybe you dont even lay the bed or wash your clothes well.

When last did you buy a perfume that makes him ask you you smell nice and where did you get that from.

When last did you dance infront of him seductively and leave him thinking GOSh! i have missed.
Stop asking for advice and play the role you were meant to play.
HE HAS NOT RAISED HIS HANDS TO BEAT YOU. THATS IF? if he has then he doesnt deserve all the things i have said. But if he is only avoiding you. is because someting is irritating him and you need to CHECK YOURSLF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.
bye i wish you luck.
Re: thanks by tolutara: 9:04pm On Jun 26, 2012
bhusayor:

I see the Op has already clarified the issue, but having said that, having 4kids in 5years is not impossible. My mum had the 3 of us within the space of 3years (1987, 1988, 1990)

having 4 kids in 5 years is so possible cos that my reality right now. My oldest Son is 5,I have 2 daughters 4 and 2 and about to deliver the last baby in 2 months. so it is very possible....

I just don't know how to advise the poster though undecided
Re: thanks by Nobody: 10:03pm On Jun 26, 2012
milehigh06:
[b]i have not been on this part of the forum ever
but the thread seemed interesting enough so i poked in and read a little of what was said and I must confess,what I quoted here and what chaircover has been saying is almost identical apart from the know your enemy and faceless people stuff which is very petty but chaircover said stuff that was almost identical to the font faced part


My friend,
You certainly need to go back and read again.
There is no similarity in our thought process and our ideologies of marriage are miles apart.
Thank you.
Re: thanks by Nobody: 10:11pm On Jun 26, 2012
jennykadry:

As long as it is from the cabal, they must criticize the post even when the person shares the same opinion as them. What CC advised her to do was to, re-trace her steps and find out what went wrong and behold almighty grand daddy with teenage age kids showed up and pooed on the thread like he normal does anyways. My goal is to use my advise to eliminate him completely from this forum for good. I am getting there grin

I know that as a mouth piece you need to justify your pay,after all you are only a foot soldier,however jenny asfor your last point you are certainly on a LLLOOOONNNG thing.
By the way say hi to the weakling,you got locked in your bedroom, for me. grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: thanks by limantertsa: 10:33pm On Jun 26, 2012
With GOD al is posible.hold on 4 d sun will soon shine on u.JESUS luvs U.
Re: thanks by akpunku1: 2:17am On Jun 27, 2012
inmy own humble opinin, this story is lacking some facts, tell us why he stoped loving you.. Have you cheated or lied to him more than once in the past? Do you nag? Many things to think about right now. Just tell us ur down sides so i can dish out a better advice.
Re: thanks by SisiKill1: 2:30am On Jun 27, 2012
Oh my freaking goodness!! How did one innocuous sentence become the worst thing ever written since the order of Execution for Jesus Christ? undecided

Some people are hopeless!!

1 Like

Re: thanks by Nobody: 5:00am On Jun 27, 2012
Isn't it funny how you don't even mention names but the guilty as charged old man old enough to be my father shows up with his v@g1na and replies. . . "Yes ma" grin

1 Like

Re: thanks by erniewhez(m): 5:44am On Jun 27, 2012
@OP (awoloto), if u want ur hubby to love u back, it can still work unless he has constantly found u unfaithful which even God do nt approve. If u will share d truth with me send me details of d whole story to erniewhez@yahoo.com, ull b back on fb to giv thanks to all
Re: thanks by Nobody: 7:49am On Jun 27, 2012
Re: thanks by Johndoe100(m): 8:36am On Jun 27, 2012
You got her number.


Richvkunt:

I know that as a mouth piece you need to justify your pay,after all you are only a foot soldier cheap t0t0 for hire, however jenny iya aje asfor your last point you are certainly on a LLLOOOONNNG thing.
By the way say hi to the weakling,you got locked in your bedroom, for me. grin grin grin
Re: thanks by Nobody: 9:09am On Jun 27, 2012
jennykadry: Isn't it funny how you don't even mention names but the guilty as charged old man old enough to be my father shows up with his v@g1na and replies. . . "Yes ma" grin

ROTFLMAO!
Re: thanks by TalkingBird: 10:08am On Jun 27, 2012
Please read the following
Ephesians 5 : 22 - 33
1Peter 3: 1-6

SOME who lived in Jesus’ day questioned whether marriages could or should last. To them, Jesus said: “Did you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:4-6) Obviously, God intended for marriages to last.
In many lands today, some 40 percent or more of all marriages are “put apart,” ending in divorce. Is the Bible’s advice regarding marriage hopelessly out-of-date? Could it be that marriages fail because the arrangement itself is faulty?
Consider this illustration: Two couples buy the same model car. One couple maintain their vehicle well and drive it carefully. Their car does not break down. The other couple invest no time or energy in maintaining their vehicle, and they drive recklessly. That car breaks down and is abandoned. Where does the fault lie for the second outcome—with the car or with the owners? Obviously, the owners bear much of the responsibility.
Similarly, the fact that many marriages fail does not mean that the institution of marriage is somehow flawed. The millions of marriages that succeed prove otherwise. Those marriages bring happiness and stability to individuals, to families, and to communities. But marriage, like a car, needs good care and regular maintenance if it is to last.
Whether your marriage is days or decades old, the Bible’s advice on how to maintain and strengthen it really does work.

Also read:
http://softskillmentor-vincent..com/2011/09/is-there-purpose-to-life-elie-wiesel.html
Re: thanks by jennykadrry(f): 11:00am On Jun 27, 2012
Sisi_Kill: Oh my freaking goodness!! How did one innocuous sentence become the worst thing ever written since the order of Execution for Jesus Christ? undecided

Some people are hopeless!!

Aren't they just? angry
Re: thanks by Nobody: 11:30am On Jun 27, 2012
Ujujoan:

ROTFLMAO!

You dey laugh? Just type one line hiaa and you will see them present themselves here like the male cabal crew that they are.

Ndi ara
Re: thanks by moremi2008(m): 4:41pm On Jun 27, 2012
jennykadry:

You dey laugh? Just type one line hiaa and you will see them present themselves here like the male cabal crew that they are.

Ndi ara

I think it's the same people changing usernames! The #1 suspect is that JohnDoe dunce.
Re: thanks by Nobody: 11:38pm On Jun 27, 2012
moremi2008:
I think it's the same people changing usernames! The #1 suspect is that JohnDoe dunce.

Lmao, you can say that again. grin
Re: thanks by Johndoe100(m): 2:26am On Jun 28, 2012
Omo ale. still searching for your sperm donor father? I have told you I am not your dad and attacking men older than you will never make up for being a bastard. Please leave me out of your fantasies. Really why can't you leave me alone?



moremi2008:

I think it's the same people changing usernames! The #1 suspect is that JohnDoe dunce.
Re: thanks by Fruitful2: 8:16pm On Jun 28, 2012
SINCERELY THIS IS A DELICATE ISSUE AND YOU WILL REQUIRE PATIENCE AND WISDOM TO GO ABOUT IT THE RIGHT WAY.BUT THERE IS NOTHING TOO HARD FOR GOD TO DO.HAVING A BOYFRIEND IS NOT AN OPTION.SECONDLY GET IN TOUCH WITH HIS FAMILY,FRIENDS OR SOMEBODY HE HAS ALOT OF RESPECT FOR AND RELATE YOUR CHALLENGE.I BELIEVE YOU DO STILL LOVE HIM AND WANT TO KEEP YOUR HOME.DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION IF YOU ARE A CHRISTAIN.

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