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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? (13593 Views)
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Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by emsquare(m): 6:42pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
My brothe open up to her! Let her know how much you earn, so u both can manage resources together. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Dranatomy: 6:51pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
I earn 196k monthly while my wife earns 270k...We open up to each other cuz we are one |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Chinom(m): 7:06pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
I live by one principle : If it a'int broken, don't fix it. Your wife is not asking you to show her how much you earn. SO DON'T. Things don't normally work in Nigeria and Africa the way it works in the west. $ugadaddy's comment is the reality in mordern day Nigeria. Every husband knows his wife more than anyone else. You can decide for yourself if she needs to know or not. Let me assure you that in NIgeria, changes will occur either way. Overtly or covertly. In Nigeria, you are expected to earn more than your spouse. If you earn less and your wife is not aware of it or does not care to know. Then keep your big mouth shut. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Konnektions146(m): 7:14pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
sometimes i see and hear abput marriages, i get scared. O'Lord, please i no fit shouting, Mbok be with me wen de time reach., amen OP, yu have to tell her but u do it codeddly and dont make it look big or attach importance to de information yu wanna reveal. good lucck |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by angiemartinez(f): 7:22pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Guyman02: I have tried to make her change and realise that money should not be the ultimate in the home but it doesnt seem to work. She would rather pay so much as tithe and tell me that is why she is getting blessed than give me the money to solve urgent issuesseriously am touchd. Dnt die in silence pls. Wat hapens to arangement on how to go to work 2geda n come bk? Speak ur mind jare |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by kristofa09(m): 7:25pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Guyman02: I have tried to make her change and realise that money should not be the ultimate in the home but it doesnt seem to work. She would rather pay so much as tithe and tell me that is why she is getting blessed than give me the money to solve urgent issuessir,i realy feel ur pain.though i am nt marid,bt i dnt knw if i shld say ur wife lacks wisdom.i just pray it occurs to ha tht she has to change in orda to av a blisful home. Man,i cn only imagine d emotions n pains u r goin tru.pray tht ur wife change n nt necesarily that u must earn more than ha.peace is beta than war n cmpetitn btwn a hsbnd n a wife.i pray 4 gd tins to cme ur way.GOD wil intavene. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by kristofa09(m): 7:32pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
$ugardaddy:Sir,there r other altanativ to dvorce.channel ur determination towards making ur mariage work.i hope u av children?hav a serios cnversatn wth ur wife,n strike a new bigining.let ha knw were she went wrong.let ha realise ha mishap...n make ha undstnd d pain u went tru.bt tel ha u r wiling to 4giv n forge on..bt on a cnditn tht she wil b a submisive wife.. There r always altanativs sir.its ur choice.GOD bles ur mariage.amen. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by pbs4real(m): 7:37pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Next topic pls..... |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by pbs4real(m): 7:37pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Next topic pls... |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by linearity: 8:04pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
I think it is better to correct that impression by opening up to her about your earnings... Else very soon, she might start nursing the notion that, you are not carrying your comparable share of the family financial responsibilities...she might not say it out loud...but working on the false impression of larger pay check, it is reasonable for her to conclude so in her mind. Secondly, if she is the type that will lose respect or let go of you because you are earning lower than her, it is now at the infancy of the marriage that you have to know that but down the road when you guys have kids and since no condition is permanent and anyone can lose their job anytime...you do not want to wait until the time you would really need her help before finding out that, she is the type that would despise husbands who earn lower income or do not bring something to the table. She is your wife, I do not see any advantage of keeping this from her...especially since your conscience have started to trouble you about it....follow you conscience and your heart. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by manosteel(m): 8:30pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
To say the least, I'm confuse the more. Reading through the posts, i have got enough reasons to keep my mouth shut no matter what, and at the same time, i have got one thousand and one reasons why i must open up as soon as possible. The fact is that i love my wife, and despite my lesser earnings, i still meet her needs, provide for her, take her out and the stuffs like that, and she loves me too. Jokingly, she had asked me in few occasion how much was my salary, i mumbled over it without given her a clear answer. I'm afraid if i tell her, i might loose my respect and become a puppet husband. Maybe i may ask the ladies in this forum, if you realize that you earn more than your husband, would you still regard him as being in charge? Especially in decision making. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Vernor(m): 8:44pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Pls, let us help this man out n go a little more for him especially experienced married men. ADV OF TELLING HER. 1) If u dont tell her ur pay u will be geting more bills to be paid by u because she think u earn too much.2) Women always blif that there is a woman somewhr outside taking ur money so she bring her personal and fmly to u so as to reduce ur expenses outside especially dey hav not given birth. 3) Dey tend to pity u more when dey C ur pay slip because dey calculate more dan u.4 Oda source keep quiet. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by GboyegaD(m): 8:57pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Letting her know how much you earn is best as it gives you the opportunity to plan your resources together and would even bring you more respect however, if you do not disclose to her and you do not meet her glamourous needs then, it might lead to rifts because she would have the feelings you are spending your monies on other ladies out there not knowing you do not earn as much as she thinks. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
@ poster. U said and i quote; "I worked in a gov't ministry". Extra money from "the office"(plush spending) made ur wife thought u earned more than her. Tell us the whole truth. From my perception fellow NLders, it appears the poster is being(or abt to be) transfered or reposted from the "office" or ministry where he used to get extra money. The reduced "cummulative" income which translates to reduced matrimonial spending would make his wife suspect him of spending money elsewhere(on other women). That's why he's considering telling her b4 the bricks begin to drop. My advice: Tell her but not b4 a nite of six rounds of hot anaconda-in-london parade. She'll smile and say: "darling, what u can't bring outta ur pockets, u can actually bring outta ur boxers! U've just proved that to me. I love honey!" |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Damoty: 9:44pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
She can earn more dan u 2day, but Your job have security protection more than her own. Private company can tell u to go home anytime. And u are D̶̲̥̅̊ head of family love is not about money |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by vivaciousvivi(f): 10:02pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Comon man, r u for real?! Its a marriage! Except you are not really and truly in love, then really it shouldn't matter. U need to open up to her, confide your concerns and give her d benefit of doubt. You will be surprised how u may hav worked urself up for nothing on this medium. Take care |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by iamblest(m): 10:29pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
[quote author=omodapson]The two shall become one they say. So why hide yourself from yourself? [/quotna so |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by MegaG: 10:33pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by tochi55ba: 10:42pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
gonon: Bros, if she is nor pressuring you to know how much you earn and you are not giving her a false impression of earning alot, DON'T TRY IT This is d problem most guys do have. How did u even start with her; this tells u were not even straight with ursef in d first place. Y hiding how much u earn, would dat stop anytin? If yes dat means u created an impression b4 d marriage and still wants to keep it. Let her know otherwise when d family responsibility comes and u can't meet up, it makes the mata even worst. Ur wife na ur wife. If u dey fear, na u know where and how u take me am. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by emiye(m): 11:00pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
Let the sleeping dog lie, Many people are screaming trust ,trust,trust,...... Believe me, the word trust has become more of rhetorics. The human psychology belies trust more often than not, especially by the female folks |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by sashaa(f): 11:33pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
afam4eva: You go fear thread now.my thoughts too. ' |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by denny4ril: 11:36pm On Jul 19, 2012 |
manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Genius100: 2:38am On Jul 20, 2012 |
Guy, if she is not pestering you, keep your mouth shut. If she really wants to know, say your salary (including bonus) is slightly more than her. African women that can deal with earning more than their husband are in the minority. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by Genius100: 2:41am On Jul 20, 2012 |
Guyman02: I have tried to make her change and realise that money should not be the ultimate in the home but it doesnt seem to work. She would rather pay so much as tithe and tell me that is why she is getting blessed than give me the money to solve urgent issues Guy, I don't understand what you are talking about. Are you saying she does not contribute to the upkeep of the house? Ol boy, that's a fight you have to fight. You will contribute the lion share but she must contribute to the upkeep of the house even if she's just paying for food and a few bills.. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by DExplorer1: 3:32am On Jul 20, 2012 |
76Naira: It works perfectly well for me. Your wife doesn't work or she's yet to find a job? Bro, it's obvious life isn't all cherry and vanilla, you know that! If your wife not working is related to the 'house-wife' norm, i think you need to reverse and rethink. No job is too sure, even entreprenuers have down times. Probably she's yet to find a job or you're yet to set her going in some business, then all the best. You Need To Read These! After Aborting 3 Times For Him, He's Set To Marry Another Lady This Month. 21 Reasons He Hasn't Proposed to You Yet 16 Regular Mistakes Singles Make in Relationships 25 Warning Signs of a Possible Break up in Your Relationship 16 Raw but Bitter Truths Ladies Must Know |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by childluck(m): 5:16am On Jul 20, 2012 |
OP. Do you think she will start to disrespect you really ![]() |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by sugardaddy1(m): 7:59am On Jul 20, 2012 |
Guyman02:Bros, I don't know why I have this strong feeling that my wife & yours are sisters! The scenario you described above was excatly what I went through in my case except that I wasn't into any financial difficulty. The only thing that changed was that her salary was almost same as mine (less by 55k) and then, hell was let loose! Just be resolute and firm my brother, that was what kept me going until my breakthrough came. God will certainly bring about your own breakthrough very very soon (Amen). |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by sugardaddy1(m): 8:18am On Jul 20, 2012 |
kristofa09:Thank you for your wonderful advice my dear friend. Each time I look at my beautiful kids, I feel the pains they will have to go through as a result of their mother's stupidity 'cos I haven't seen any alternative to divorce for my marriage so far (still seeking an alternative though). In the estate where I leave, there is a banker that has been out of job for over two years now and the wife has been solely responsible for the upkeep of the home and the kids without any quarrel. The wife even had to opt for her company bus to and fro work daily while the husband uses the only car that is in order just to hustle. Thank God I have been able to invest in real estate enough not to depend on my wife even if I don't have anything doing again, but I don't see her having the kind of heart this my neighbour's wife has which is why I strongly feel it's better we go our separate ways now. Op, sorry please. I have no intention to derail you thread but na wetin man see him dey take make parable. Best of luck to you and family. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by sugardaddy1(m): 8:25am On Jul 20, 2012 |
Genius100:My brother, it's a very serious fight. That's why I adviced Guyman02 to be "resolute and firm" earlier. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by sugardaddy1(m): 8:34am On Jul 20, 2012 |
Chinom: I live by one principle : If it a'int broken, don't fix it. Your wife is not asking you to show her how much you earn. SO DON'T. Things don't normally work in Nigeria and Africa the way it works in the west. $ugadaddy's comment is the reality in mordern day Nigeria. Every husband knows his wife more than anyone else. You can decide for yourself if she needs to know or not.Thanks for seeing things from my own perspective. The advise I can give the OP here is that there is no clear formular to any successful marriage. What works for A may not work for B, so you have to follow your instinct and decide what you want (not what others want) in your marriage. I know of a lot of guys who don't care if they are relegated to the background in their marriages and wouldn't see anything wrong in a domineering and disrespectful wife. Same way, I know of a lot of guys like myself who are nice to a fault but wouldn't take a s.hi.t from their wives. It's different strokes for different folks. |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by TheMatrix3: 9:00am On Jul 20, 2012 |
afam4eva: You go fear thread now. Finally dem don unban my broda ![]() @OP: How come you got married and you and your wife didnt share this? A honest discussion abt your salaries I mean. its a very faulty foundation I must say... Beta go and tell her abi u dey fear say she go divorce u because of dat? Then she aint your wife |
Re: Is It Advisable To Tell My Wife How Much I Earn Per Month? by kpolli(m): 9:17am On Jul 20, 2012 |
manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family. If u did not use ur own mouth to tell her u were earning higher than her then u didn't lie. |
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