lady dee - love ur story and have to say u are so right about how teachers here push the black kids to lower unis or degree subjects.

my example being when we had a careers day way back in the 90's when i was 16 (man i feel old) i picked up the law and accounting sheets to see what GCSE's and A levels i would need to study these courses - u will not believe what i am about to tell you but the sheets were taken from my hands and i was given the sheets about hospitality and the care industry. I will never forget, and to top off the insult i was in the top set for all my subjects so its not like i was in the bottom group with the foundation maths dumbos.

anyway i grew up in the UK and was sent to naija after my GCSE's i have to say it was an experience and maybe did me good but i hated it there - the jealousy i got from people was terrible. My feelings towards my stay in nigeria could be down to where i was but i have to say that i would not wish what i went thru on my worse enemy. Hard to adjust from growing up in the suburbs in north london with a mix of friends from different backgrounds and then having to live in the eastern part of nigeria - lets not start on how till this day i just don't get the mentality of my own people at times.

I think it is very important to instil our culture in our children but then the good aspects and not the borderline stupid ones. I personally would not like my child to spend any aspect of their education in Nigeria for various reasons that i don't have time to mention here but i feel it is important they visit home often. Children brought up outside Nigeria can also be well behaved and cultured.

but i'm loving the stories here

chemail - i am so ashamed of myself - yes i am ashamed. so now u agree that the named hospital actually is a good hospital. Look everybody has different experiences in life today, for example i was made to wait over an hour to see my midwife in my local GP surgery and was like WTF - i smiled and realised that if i was back in nigeria i would have seen a doctor or the midwife within 5-10 mins.

will u now say that i am lying about having to wait this long - i'm not goin to drag up the "lies" i told cos it does not pay my bills by going back to it. IF you and other think i'm lying then i'm lying .

Like I have already said the original question has been answered and i have been advised by my GP (who happens to have my history) not to travel to Nigeria (long haul and the risk of DVT) so in hindsight I should never have asked the question - just wanted to know if i could get one last holiday in b4 having the baby. 

u take care now chemail and remain blessed!!

ur still on that?

wow.

~Borat~:

I dont think nigeria's population even makes the 100 million mark to be honest. . .
I dont know how they come up with these figures

huh some of the major cities in nigeria are so over populated that human beings will outnumber ants soon.

when family planning is not taken up by a huge section of the society and women start childbearing early you really think the population has not reached 100million?

i think a lot of people know that their kids will not get citizenship in the UK - i think thats why canada and america are now becoming the favoured destinations.

yes like you said i have been reading that the republicans are really pushing for a law to stop people having their kids born in the USA to get citizenship, its meant to be targeting the mexicans from what i can tell but it looks like it will effect everyone.

all i can say is people should give birth where they are comfortable - yes childbirth and pregnancy are natural things but for many women the peace of mind that comes with it goes a long way.

anyone compaing india's poor with nigeria's poor should look at % and not 421 million - are u forgetting that over 1billion people live in india. if you ask me that means over half are not poor - if we are going to go down the simplified route. can we say that over 50% of nigerians are not poor. trust me access to clean water and electricity is a basic human right. there are still people in nigeria who don't believe that some countries provide electricty 24/7

please look at all the stats b4 telling us that india is poorer than nigerian. like infant mortality, age expectancy, literacy levels etc.

by the way these people come here to exploit our country - when they have taken what they want they leave with their money - how many chinese, indian or lebansese people are building schools and hospitals instead they come to nigeria treat the nigerian staff like 2nd class citizens in their own country - oh the insult!! and we people are really saying that chinese and indian people come here as if it makes nigeria some kind of developed nation

MaziUche0:

The way I see it, Nigerian's population will be good for business. As China grows wealthier and the wages increase for their employees, they will need a place where there is a lot of cheap labor. Nigeria could be that place as a source for cheap labor. Companies would move their manufacturing capabilities to Nigeria which would help us industrialize. That is how China got wealthy. I am a big fan of the Chinese model.

ummmmm no offence but why would anyone look at Nigeria for cheap labour when basic infrastructure in Nigeria is lacking in the country, or foreign staff are scared of being kidnapped. We really cannot compare to India, china and Brazil in the near future and if care is not taken i see civil war coming to Nigeria - population increasing at this rate and its not like its the educated working class that are bredding like rabbits - the cycle of poverty will continue and frustrations will start to kick in for a huge section of the population.

its sad that basic family planning is not practised in Nigeria - how can a crayfish seller have 8 children and think it is ok to still be pumping them out simply cos she still has fertile eggs - the mind boggles

Divab - ur even lucky you have a regular cycle - it is only by the grace of God that I am pregnant, I have very irregular periods and in the 6 months prior to getting pregnant i had days between periods consisting of 53, 31, 46, 37 and 28 so all these online due date calculators mean nothing to me I didin't even know when i was ovulating hence why i was very shocked when i found out I was pregnant and not suffering from yet another bout of malaria.

I use this website and a whole host of others - in fact i will put a list of all the sites i am currently using for this pregnancy.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/
http://www.tommys.org/Page.aspx?pid=253
http://3dpregnancy.parentsconnect.com/
http://www.babycenter.com/

hope these are of use to you

no offence poster but why have u never applied for a british passport b4 - what do u use as ID? anyway if u need it urgently I would advise you to maybe look into getting an emergency travel document cos the worse thing would be to travel to nigeria and get stuck there - i'm a bit surprised no one in ur family has advised you about being able to travel to nigeria with a british and nigerian passport visa free in both. All i know is that when you get to heathrow they will def ask to see ur british passport cos they will want to know how you have been living in the UK if ur nigerian passport is empty. When you are coming back they will ask to see your Nigerian passport and British passport. If you don't have a british passport and empty nigerian passport u will not leave nigeria.

if i were you i would look into whether u could change the date on ur ticket. try and get that british passport cos when ur coming back to london the queue for non- eu passports is just too long.

hope this helps

why is the emphasis always on women and submission - the last time I checked men were given their own biblical mandate as well.

please for any woman to call her fellow woman who is being abused lazy is wrong, if one understands the psychology of abuse and how it gets to the stage a woman now accepts abusive and unkind behaviour from her husband u will know it is not as simple as telling her to walk out of that marriage/relationship.

@siena - thank you - i was going to advise her the same thing - trust me the abuse she will get will be too much on NL.

how is that beautiful daughter of yours - I hope u have already bought ur gun o cos these young men start early these days - lol!!

@blank - when are you due? i know u said early next year but is that feb or jan 2011. I'm due 1st week of January but would like it to come round christmas

u have to travel with your british and nigerian cos when u get to heathrow and show them an empty nigerian passport they will ask you for proof of ur right to live here. i mean even if u were able to get to nigeria how would you come back to london with only a empty nigerian passport.

anyway this is what i do - travel with both when u get to MMA they will stamp ur nigerian passport.

hope this answers ur question.

moduperola sorry to hear about ur miscarriages - it cannot be easy. Have you been told why you have them, have u or ur husband been tested. I only ask as women with PCOS have a higher risk of multiple MCs. I use the following website below just to give me some advice and information about things.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/griefandloss/understandingmiscarriage/

I hope soon that ur trust in God will enable you to share you testimony - God's time is truely the best. Take care

Arlington:

You women will give me heart attack of happiness ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Congratulations Ejadamen just don't grow a beard this time The good Lord will keep this child safe and you will deliver just like the Hebrew woman.
Good Morning all My Monday update
Have bad indigestion , Back pain and pimples
Apart from that i am doing ok and i thank God. still not told people i am pregnant yet don't know why i am keeping it from people i think i want it to be a suprise ,or the truth is i still get scared with all my what if's. Oh well God take control you all have a blessed week ahead .

how many weeks are you. I didn't tell people until i was 12 weeks even now at (soon to be) 18 weeks I have not told everyone. Do what you feel is best for you. As for the pimples apparently that is normal - i have them all over my back, i've had back pain from day 1 even b4 i knew i was pregnant. luckily no indigestion or heart burn for me. have u started the crying at everything yet? gosh looking back now i will never forget the day i burst into tears when my husband forgot to use a coaster on the table - he thought i had gone mad.

we thank God thou and can't wait for the news of the safe delivery of ur bouncing baby boy. Gosh i cannot wait to find out the gender at the end of the month - i really want to start on the blue or pink buying

like i said in another post on this topic i couldn't even finish watching this video as no matter wether tey are legal or illegal it is just disturbing. Now onto the reason i posted - i saw this article earlier in the day on the daily mail website and to be honest I know that the UK is becoming a lot more openly racist but i have to say i am shocked at the amount and type of comments saying that this is right and that they should bring it here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1299622/YouTube-video-police-brutality-mothers-babies-sparks-outrage.html#comments

however, its a bit wrong for these women to use their children as shields - i think african governments need to wake up and start developing their countries so that we can all leave Europe and leave their tax and borrowing revenue countries to rot,

abeg why is all the hate directed at Miss Keys - was she the one that made vows to the man's wife - abeg direct the hate at the man and any left over to Alicia.

Busy_body:



You claim to know insect repellant that is applied to the skin is dangerous for a pregnant woman, yet you allow yourself to be given anti-malaria tablets and injection that goes directly into your bloodstream Let me keep schtum and say nothing about your IQ, lets stick to blaming the pregnancy brain as usual, gosh this would have been so much fun, just that it is too painful watching your drowning rat clutching at straws approach


And if it so bothers you to know why i have time, part of my free time is spent on this forum letting my hair down and fishing out nitwits like you, so do you, and let me do me Been in the UK 30 years and according to your [b]A-Z, Debenhams [/b]is only in the west end, i no fit shout


And those people were setting your story straight, not bullying you so dearie berra go and sleep before those hormones which would have gone haywire makes you burst into tears

,

hmmmmm time

i think silence is the best answer to cyber bullies. if u want to keep insulting me and talking about anti malaria - malaria and now a my A-Z skills carry on and make 10 pages on the topic. the question has been answered plus i'm not even travelling so why u feel the need to flog a dead horse is beyond me. if entertainment for u is fishing out "nit wits" then u need a new hobby - there are a lot of silly ignorant posts all over nairaland but for some strange reason your here insulting me. Nigerians - always fall back on insulting someone that thinks differently with them,

abeg a nit wit like me cannot compete with a mensa brain like your own. 

u have time.

busy body why are u so passionate about my supposed lies. u have said it once let it go - ur starting to come across somehow.

if my malaria story doesn't add up let it go u were not there with me when i was getting sick so why the lingering around the malaria - na wah o!!

if this is entertainment to u then maybe u need to evaulate what u do with ur free time. anyway let me contnue making a jackass of myself as only u know the truth right?

so its the malaria that is getting u and nothing else?? if its lies or the truth is it really stopping u from paying ur mortgage that u STILL have to bring it up. by the way incest repellents are not recommended while ur pregnant. lets put it down to pregnancy brain cos i have a life and cannot remember the things i said in the post that was taken down. maybe it was the lies or maybe it was the bullying (which happens to be number 1 on the list of forum rules - or maybe i was making a jackass of myself)

mrs siena - u guys are making me jealous o!!! my baby should come out now i can't wait again.

ur daughter is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute

but please tell me u didn't take her to the west end - man that is crazy as a single person let alone with a baby.

Busy_body:

I can't blame you for your lies tripping you up memory slipping up, i will excuse you, you are afflicted with "pregnancy brain", such "occupational hazard" are allowed

Just don't forget to forward us your postcode and door number in case you change your mind and decide to come and have your baby here in the UK, make we come chop rice, awoof no dey run belle

already in the UK love - will not have energy to be cooking rice.

u have time

travelling after 28 weeks but b4 32 weeks is that not the 29/30 weeks i mentioned - must i clarify everything.

i have no idea what u are talking about regarding the malaria subject but u just carry on cos ur gist is not stopping me from living my life. i took anti malaria i got malaria how does that change anything in the world - u are still looking for someone that will start arguing with you.

sometimes if one has nothing positive to say one should say nothing at all. if u choose to continue insulting yourself on this matter that is up to u. i don't know what u want did u want me to give u a step by step account and question about leaving the uk at 21 weeks and then returning from nigeria at 29/30 weeks. obviously i was not going to ask about leaving at 21 weeks cos that is still ok, its when u get to the 28 week and beyond stage that it now becomes at the airlines discretion.

I mean really giving birth in the uk does not give a child citizenship so i don't know why some people are making this into a drama.

but just so u can sleep well tonight - YES O I'M LYING - KMT!!!

ha ha ha - yeah babies are smart like that.

has she started the not liking to be carried sitting down yet, i noticed that with my siblings when they were babies and i looked after them and with other people's babies.

i guess u have to train her to not be attention seeking cos trust me if u give them that attention whenever they make noise they are very good at TRAINING YOU to give into to their every wim - i know its hard with a first born cos i know i'm seriously going to spoil this baby to a point!!

well hope Sienna and wifey are doing well.

siena - thank you how is the wife and little girl?

hope the sleepness nights are not too draining for you both.

@chaircover - thanks and wasn't referring to you.

couldn't finish watching it but the video is distressing.

Congrats my dear. the next 8 months (i'm assuming u have passed the 4 week stage) will be an experience like no other be ready for ur baby to hijack your body and at times ur emotions.

I wish you the best cos 6.5 years with no child in a nigerian marriage is not easy at all especially for us women.

CONGRATS AGAIN

just to clear some things up as some people think that this topic is so important they still need to leave negative comments

1) i left the UK last year to join my husband in Nigeria - I'm not the first and will not be the last

2) when i left i was given all my travel vaccinations and anti malaria - and i was not pregnant at the time

3) I am just over 4 months pregnant right now (in fact 17 weeks + 4 days) and baby is doing well.

4) so if i am 4 months pregnant and left last year how did my GP give me anti malaria while (according to some here I was supposedly pregnant)

5) I was planning to travel to Nigeria at just over 21 weeks after my anomoly scan and then return to the UK at 29 or 30 weeks - hence why the question was asked.

I am not travelling anyway as my doctor as advised me not to take any long haul journeys for medical reasons. I am thankful to God that even with the issues I have a healthy baby growing inside and pray it remains so. I am also grateful that I passed the 12 weeks stage.

NHS is not heaven but I would rather give birth here as my family and friends are here and the healthcare system is much better in my opinion overall. For those who feel the Nigerian healthcare system is the best in the world then all i can do is respect you opinion.

I hope this has now laid the issue to rest and hope in less than 5 months time I can give you the news of the safe delivery of a bouncing baby boy or girl. I find out this month if its a boy or girl - yes i would love to know cos i am one of those first time mums that is seriously into the pink or blue thing. 

@ siena i haven't read everything u said (sorry) but i was using the Nigerian setting and  not the UK setting.

I am not saying that people shouldn't do it but what i am saying is that a man should not make it a permanent lifestyle choice - one of the most obvious reasons that come to mind is when the women takes maternity leave that SMP is not really the same as a monthly salary - hence why its better for the man to be working. like i said if a husband should lose his job for whatever reason then there is no problem with him being a house husband - however i know of a case where the man is refusing to work cos his wife is a doctor and she will always earn more than him but she is frustrated cos she wants a baby and the man is very comfortable with the current set up hence 4 years and no child and that is not by choice on the woman's side.

yes not all Nigerian men are the same i can only speak of Ibo men (as i am ibo) and i know people are going to be on my back cos of what i am about to say but from my experience i cannot see an ibo man being a house husband - even my husband who is even some what westernised finds it hard to do any domestic work even when i was with him in my condition - chei we women don suffer 

siena there is no shame in men doing their share of the housework - ABEG PREACH THAT TO YOUR FELLOW BROTHERS ABEG O!! some of our men really need their mindsets adjusted.

i guess the wife will take her 2 week paternity leave and leave the breastfeeding to the house husband abi?

abeg if it is a temporary situation like he was made redundant or due to illness then fine but for me to go to work everyday and the man to sit at home - sorry God didn't make us like that.

besides u know this can't work in nigeria - the man will still leave the house for u to clean. house husband indeed.

the only problem I have with this story is the 40 yr old man is married with kids. So this is now a new way men can catch STD's and give their wife.

Not saying u can only get STD's from homosexual acts but i doubt these men doing this (trust me there are quite a few in naija) are using protection.

as for the story of a grown man telling a small boy"he likes his dancing" not buying it